Chapter 5- Like Real People Do
Chapter Jams (Like Real People Do- Hozier)
KE
"Okay, everyone! That'll end today's class. You guys did a fantastic job and I want to see this same energy on Saturday, alright?" I say enthusiastically, wiping the sweat off my brow. My eyes travel over the group as the elderly men and women slowly make their way back to their locker rooms talking and laughing amongst themselves. This is the third senior citizen weight class of the month and so far it has been successful, with more and more people showing up to each session twice a week. Who knew these folks had it in them? I smile as my favorite student, Mags Fitzgerald, waves good bye, her bright green backpack swinging from her arm.
"I'll see you on Saturday, Mags!" I call out, returning the wave.
The gym slowly empties, save for myself and a few other people exercising during their lunch breaks. My stomach grumbles, reminding me that I haven't had anything to eat since last night. The only thing waiting for me is a less than desirable protein shake. I blame the meager three hours of sleep I got last night for not preparing my lunch ahead of time.
Every night this past week I've been going to bed later and later. It's the only way to keep the nightmares at bay. Lately, they've been of being trapped in a rainstorm, hearing the lightning clap above me drowning out all of my screams as I blindly try to find my way through the forest, lost and alone in unfamiliar territory. The few hours of sleep I do manage to get are restless and frustrating. I can feel my body fighting with my brain to sleep but it is just too difficult.
Rest and nourishment are essential in a profession such as mine, but my body does not seem to care. I can feel the fatigue settling in, and it's only noon. I have a feeling I'll crash before the day is through.
I tend to the area, picking up forgotten towels and light dumbbells and make my way to the front of the warehouse to devour my pitiful lunch of whatever I can scavenge in the break room. Thursdays at Panem Fitness are for the young and old citizens of Blue Mountain, making for a busy day keeping my tired mind and body occupied until the sun sets over the tree lines. Two youth archery classes, a 50 and older spinning class and a private group training session with a few city council members are sure to distract me of the sleepless nights and the thoughts that have been plaguing my consciousness since yesterday evening.
Thoughts of Peeta Mellark in my gym last night, wearing a bright blue athletic shirt that clung to him in all the right places, of his flushed face making the most adorable facial expression when finishing a set in the squat rack, or of the way his large hands would always brush away the small blonde wavy locks that fell over his forehead. I want to know what those hands felt like exploring my body as I wrap my legs around his torso, the feeling of his whiskers on his face following the trail of heat of his lips as they move along my neck. I did my best not to run my own hands up and down his body as I corrected his form in certain exercises, only allowing myself brief one second touches that only made me want to touch him more. I'm supposed to not fall for this man. I'm supposed to be stomping out the fire that blooms in my belly whenever those bright blue eyes meet mine. I'm supposed to be alone.
It's difficult to remind myself of that when Peeta is around. He's sweet and charming and honest, unlike the other men I have met in town or who have hit on me at work. I would have never opened up the way he had last night. The sad, bitter look on his face as he briefly explained losing his leg as a child broke my heart. The fact that he would open up to me, someone he knew for only a short time, gave me a clear insight on what kind of person he is. Kind, humble, trusting and strong. I wish I was like Peeta. I'm cold and hard like stone.
"What are you thinking about? Or should I say who? The boy with the bread?" says Johanna in a sing song voice, startling me out of my train of thought. I roll my eyes as she walks into the break room and leans against the counter beside me.
"Well, you do realize that you've been staring at the fridge for a good five minutes, don't you, brainless?"
I glare at her and hide the blush that begins to creep up my neck. Thankfully, I find a couple of granola bars buried deep in the cupboard and walk to my office. Johanna follows hot on my heels. I pass Delly Cartwright at the front desk and smile briefly at her and a customer as I avoid a certain persistent, short brunette. I turn to shut my door but Johanna stands there triumphantly. I groan and let her in.
"Shouldn't you be at lunch with your fiance?" I mutter darkly, settling into my chair and adding protein powder to my water bottle. Johanna smirks and settles herself on top of files on my desk. Conall is on hiatus, which means more help at Panem Fitness (which we always need) and, unfortunately for my ears and bruised ego, loud, raucous sounds of love making coming from across the house.
"Just got back, actually. So, I didn't want to bother you last night about your date with Peeta-"
I snort. "So you ambush me during my lunch break?" Johanna grins wickedly and nods. "And it was not a date, Jo."
"Yeah, whatever, Everdeen," she says, rolling her eyes. "Actually, Conall made me promise not to ask you. Well, not right away at least."
"How sweet," I say sarcastically, cringing at the dull taste of my drink. Johanna feigns shock, one hand flying to her mouth and the other clutching her chest.
"I can be somewhat of a decent person, Katniss," she says haughtily. She prods my leg with a pen.
"So, how did it go?"
"Fine," I say simply.
"Just fine?" she presses, raising an eyebrow.
"Mhmm."
"So, the two of you did not have hot sweaty sex on the equipment?"
I can feel the heat creep slowly up my neck again as the brief image of our sweaty bodies intertwined invades my mind. Heat radiates from my neck down between my legs. I cross them instinctively.
"Oh stop it, Jo," I mutter, yanking the papers out from under her. Johanna grins.
"You like him."
I shrug.
"Even if I did, I said I wouldn't do anything about it," I say, my hands finding themselves pulling at the end of my braid. I want to be left alone to finish my lunch and try to squeeze in a power nap but Johanna is like a bloodhound. She just won't let this Peeta thing go. I said I wouldn't explore anything with him, that the best thing would be to just be friends. Talking about Peeta makes it harder for him to not creep under my skin. Regrettably I already spend enough time thinking about him. This was supposed to be easy.
"Why not? It's been years since-"
"Since Gale, I know. I just have way too much going on, Jo. Business is picking up, I'm always here," I begin, avoiding her gaze. "I just have way too much baggage for a guy like him," I confess quietly. I look down at my lap and think of all the ways a relationship with Peeta Mellark could go badly. I'm too stubborn. I can never admit when I'm wrong. I have an inability to voice my emotions. Even worse, I could push him away with my distance, just like with Gale. I don't believe I ever loved Gale the way he loved me, and my distance only proved it. It only grew worse when my father died, and he just couldn't stand it. It's hard to love someone who is unresponsive. Losing Gale meant losing an old friend at the worst time of my life when I had already lost enough.
Suddenly I feel a sharp pain in the back of my head and look up to see Johanna's hand raised, a furious look to her face. Shock turns to anger and my expression matches hers.
"Those are just excuses!" she shouts, rising from her seat. She continues to glare at me as she paces back and forth in front of my desk. "You really are brainless."
My nostrils flare in frustration and I try to keep calm.
"You deserve to be happy, Katniss."
"I am happy!" I snap.
"That's bullshit and you know it."
I can feel my anger drift away and let out a deep sigh. Johanna is relentless and I wont be able to back out of this lecture any time soon, and I hate it when's she's right. I let her speak with my full attention.
"It's okay to need people. You go around taking care of people every day. Here, in this building, it's your job. Out there, it's a different story. Your sister is a grown woman, your mother is doing better- they don't need you as much as they did when Theron died." My throat tightens at Johanna's words and at the mention of my father's name. God I really hate when Johanna's right.
"You have to start thinking about yourself sometimes or else you're going to burn out, and soon." Johanna's face falls slightly and concern fills her eyes. In a thick voice, she says, "And I'm afraid I might not be there to catch you when it happens again. Katniss, I barely made it last time. I worry, you know?"
A moment passes as I let her words sink in, along with the guilt I feel over making her worry. It's the last thing I want from anyone. I take her hand and nod.
"I know you do, thank you," I say sincerely, squeezing gently. "I'll try, okay?" Johanna squeezes back in response.
A soft knock on the door disrupts our moment, and Delly appears, her long blonde hair gathered away from her face showing off her natural beauty. Her big blue eyes twinkle in excitement.
"Katniss, Peeta Mellark is here to see you," she says brightly. She takes a step further in my office and says in a hushed whisper, "I didn't know the two of you were seeing each other!"
I groan and Johanna cackles wildly. When will this end? I make my way back to my desk.
"We're not 'seeing each other,' Delly. Just friends," I say, giving Johanna a pointed look. "You can tell him to come in." Delly nods and exits.
"Speak of the devil and he shall appear!" she whispers, a mischievous grin spreading across her face. I throw a paper clip at my friend. She avoids it, sticking her tongue out.
"Go away, Mason," I hiss. "Don't you have a class to run?" I glance at my reflection on the computer screen, hoping I didn't have anything stuck in my teeth or on my face. The last thing I want to do is embarrass myself. You're not supposed to care, remember? I quickly wave the thought away.
"Fine, Everdeen," Johanna sighs as she exits. She winks at Peeta as she passes him in the doorway.
Peeta Mellark steps in and gently shuts the door behind him. The dark grey sweater he dons enhances the shape of his broad shoulders and clashes wonderfully with his blonde hair. My eyes travel down his chest to his dark washed jeans and finally notice the slight emptiness around his ankle. It is only visible when he takes a step further into my office. I would never have been aware of it if I didn't know. My heart jumps to my throat at the thought of a small, young Peeta having to learn how to walk again. I force my eyes back to his face. His eyes find mine and he smiles immediately. His lopsided smile brings back that nervous feeling that pools in my belly, the feeling that only his presence can cause.
"Hi," he says shyly.
"Hi," I breathe, gesturing to the chair in front of my desk. "Please, Peeta, take a seat." He obliges and settles himself into the seat, placing a brown paper sack in his lap.
"I hope you're not busy. I thought I would swing by and bring you lunch, as a thank you for kicking my ass last night," he chuckles. "I really felt it this morning." He rubs the soreness in his thighs and my eyes follow the movements. I do my best to control my feelings- my very unwarranted and forbidden feelings. Look, don't touch, I remind myself sarcastically. I focus my attention to the spread of food that Peeta laid out in front of me.
"Peeta, you didn't have to do this," I say, pushing a container of chicken salad away from me. My stomach growls in protest and heat creeps up my neck in embarrassment. Peeta laughs and hands me a fork.
"I wanted to, and besides, it looks like I came at the right time," he teases me. He opens up a box of cheese buns and my jaw drops in surprise.
"You remembered!" I say, taking one. I bite into the soft, warm dough and the taste of mozzarella and butter fill my mouth. I lean back in my seat and moan softly as I finish it off, licking the Parmesan from my finger tips. These could not have come at a better time. Peeta watches me with a pleased expression as he pushes more food towards me.
"This is so nice, thank you, Peeta," I say sincerely, wondering where to start first.
"It's the least I can do, plus, I like this trade of goods and services we have going on," he says with a grin. He takes the bit of chicken I offer him and urge him to eat with me. He pulls out another fork and digs in.
"Well, I'd never say no to you, Katniss."
Our eyes lock and his bright eyes turn a deep ocean blue. It would be so easy for me to reach over the two feet of desk space between us and find out how deep I can drown in them. The fire in my stomach spreads to my chest and I have to quickly glance away. Peeta shifts in his seat and rubs his thighs nervously. I do my best not to stare and distract myself with another cheese bun.
There is something so natural to the conversations Peeta and I have. It's easy to talk to him. It's easy for me to forget the restrictions I have set for myself and slip through the cracks of my marble exterior. The hard stone I've molded for the past several years is not as strong as I believed it to be, and that makes me nervous. Interacting with Peeta is a dangerous game that I am all too willing to play.
"So, there's another reason for my visit," he begins, straightening in his seat. I raise an eyebrow and refuse to let my surprise register.
"Oh?"
"Yeah, I, er, wanted to see if you had given any thought to coming out with me tomorrow. I told you I'd keep you to your promise," he finished with a small smile.
I have given a thought to it. I spent a majority of the last 12 hours thinking about it, weighing my options. On one hand, any excuse to be around Peeta's positive energy is a good one. But on the other hand, I haven't been out out in months, not since Prim's birthday. I would have to endure Johanna's endless nagging for days if I didn't go (and also for not receiving an invite). Having Johanna tag along would be a good buffer and an escape plan if things were to get out of hand.
"Sure."
Peeta's eyes widen in surprise and his mouth gapes open and I try not to laugh. I begin to feel a weird sense of deja vu and I wave it away.
"Really?"
"Really. It could be fun," I say, nibbling on another cheese bun. He grins and it lights up his handsome features and my heart flutters.
"You can invite anyone you want- invite Johanna! And Prim! If Rue hasn't already asked her," he chuckles. Peeta glances at his watch and curses under his breath. "Shit, I'm late for work." I rise to clear the mess of bowls and boxes and he waves my hands away.
"Keep them, they're for you. I'll be back for the containers eventually," he gives me that lopsided smile that makes my insides do somersaults. I can't help but grin back.
"Here, I'll walk you to the door," I say, making my way around my desk. He rises from his seat and his sturdy frame blocks my path and I all but run into him.
"It's okay, I can find my way. I'll see you tomorrow at Rippers, say, 9 o'clock?" he asks, pulling his keys out of his pocket. I fumble with my braid to occupy my hands as I realize how close we're standing.
"Sounds perfect," I say quietly, getting caught again in those blue eyes of his. His smile lingers and he reaches up to tug at the end of my braid playfully. His fingers brush against mine for a quick moment before dropping to his side.
"Thank you again for lunch, Peeta," I blurt out as he's halfway out the door. He leans back in and winks.
"Any time, Katniss. I'll see you tomorrow!" he calls out before disappearing.
I lean back against my desk and try to keep my heart from beating out of my chest.
–
I am a walking contradiction.
Well, a running contradiction.
The warm humid breeze cools the sweat dripping down my face as my feet pound the pavement. The air smells like pine, mud and the promise of more rain. I take a fleeting glance at my Garmin and groan at my pace. I push myself to run faster, splashing through puddles and staining my clothes in the process- but I didn't care. My mind has been racing since agreeing to an outing with Peeta tonight. And friends!, my mind shouts. I shake my head to clear my mind and concentrate on my pace. Anxiety is a good motivator to run until my lungs burn, and I have a couple more miles until that happens. I want to run until my brain calms down.
I am a running contradiction.
I give myself these rules for my own well being and I break them time after time. I haven't felt safe since my father died and yet with Peeta that warm sense of security returns. My father was taken so suddenly and I don't want the same thing to happen with Peeta.
I begin to feel a stitch in my side forming but I refuse to slow down. I hop over a large tree branch and find relief and pain in the exertion.
Maybe that's why I wont let myself explore Peeta and I's relationship. I don't want a good thing ripped away from me again. I don't want to suffer any more pain. I already suffer through enough as it is.
I don't want to be at fault again. The guilt is crushing, and if something happened to ruin my friendship with Peeta, at my expense, I would be absolutely broken.
Like a moth to a flame, I can't stay away, but I guess there are much more dangerous games to play.
I remember the conversation Johanna and I had yesterday and can't help but think she's right. This "Will I or Won't I" thing is getting frustratingly annoying and I need to make a decision soon, but panic always sets in at the very thought.
"Just make up your damn mind, Katniss," I pant, turning into the dirt road leading back to the cabin. Every breath I take in feels like ice and the stitch in my side has worsened. Fatigue spreads through my limbs and each step feels heavier and heavier. I slow to a jog as I reach the porch, jogging up the front steps and into my home. I stop at the sink and splash cool water on my face and let myself slump down against it. My heart pounds frantically in my chest as I let it go back to normal.
"How was your run?" Prim asks from the living room. She arrived earlier this morning and refused to join me as she 'needed the whole day to prepare' for her date with Rue.
"It was good. You should've joined me, little duck," I say, patting my face dry. I sit down next to her as she flips through her magazine lazily and I practically buzz with pleasure. I love it when Prim's home. I prod her with my shoe and she smacks it away playfully.
"Are you excited for your date with Rue tonight?" I ask her, laying my head in her lap. She adjusts in her seat to make me more comfortable and smiles down at me.
"Yeah," she says dreamily, tossing her magazine on the coffee table. "She's smart, funny, gorgeous, kind.. she's just amazing. We've been talking non stop and ahh," she gushes, hiding her face in her hands. My heart swells at seeing Prim so happy and content.
"Are you excited for your date with Peeta?" she teases. I scowl up at her and ignore the feeling of longing in my belly.
"It is not a date, god, what is up with you and Johanna assuming things?"
Prim laughs and tucks my bangs behind my ears. I close my eyes and relish the feeling. Prim used to lay in my lap when we were smaller and I would lull her to sleep while I ran my fingers through her soft blonde hair for hours.
"He likes you," she says casually. My scowl deepens. I don't want to know this. It makes this more difficult.
"And I know you like him too."
I grunt in response. Prim stills and flicks my nose. My eyes fly open and her scowl mirrors my own.
"I'm just saying, Katniss."
I shrug and settle back into her lap. I don't want to talk about this with them anymore- it always ends up with either of them nagging me or hitting me. Tough love, they call it. I need to figure this out on my own. It's the reason why I went off to escape with a long, hard run. I peek up at her with one eye and she wrinkles her nose.
"Go shower, you smell," she teases, trying to push me off the couch. I wipe my forehead on her shorts and she squeals.
"I smell like the blood, sweat and tears of all my patrons at my gym," I tell her, tickling her side.
"You smell like a wet dog."
"Dogs are cute."
"Well, you're not."
"Ouch, little duck," I tell her, feigning hurt. She tries not to smile but breaks into a huge grin.
"You're kind of cute, I'll give you that."
"Thanks, Primmy. You're not that bad yourself."
She chuckles as I place a kiss on her forehead and make my way upstairs to shower. I have a few hours before having to socialize tonight. Anxiety flows back into my blood stream and I rush to drown it under the scorching spray of water.
–
Nine o'clock rolls around and my palms are sweaty as we climb out of Conall's large Range Rover. Prim skips ahead of me, excitedly making her way to Rue, who stands waiting for her at the door. Rue runs toward my sister and launches herself in her arms, giggling wildly. She looks down at Prim with a delighted smile on her face and kisses her sweetly. It's such a relief seeing someone look at Prim with adoration and not indifference, like Clove did sometimes during their rocky relationship. Johanna, Conall, and I reach the two and my sister introduces them to Rue.
"Everyone's inside helping Finnick and Thom set up," Rue says after we all say our hellos. "Shall we go in?" They turn and lead the way into the bar, their fingers laced together. Johanna shoots me a wink and drags Conall behind her. I take a deep breath to gather my nerves and follow.
The building was packed this evening due to it's popularity with the towns folk and college students alike, and has been in Blue Mountain longer than anyone could remember. The air smelled like stale beer, peanuts, and smoke and people had to shout to hear one another. The Christmas lights that lined the ceiling and walls were the only source of light which gave the bar a warm feeling. I immediately lose my friends in the crowd and head straight to the bar, uncomfortably forcing myself through dozens of dancing and standing bodies. I need something strong to sooth my jittery nerves.
I reach the bar as soon the bartender begins his rounds.
"What can I do for you, ma'am?" he said with a thick mountain accent. I recognize him from the days I used to sing here, when money for Panem Fitness was tight and they were desperate for acts. I didn't sing much after my father died but money was money and it helped us keep our heads above water. Johanna used to say I was 'whoring out my voice'. I chuckle silently at the memory.
The bartender's gaze shifts from mine to over my shoulder. I follow and see Peeta standing behind me, his hands shoved in his dark blue denim jacket. His eyes shine bright and he takes the seat next to mine, just close enough to where our shoulders barely touch. The bartender saunters off to help someone else and Peeta turns on his stool to face me.
"You came," he says, a small smile on his full lips. I never noticed how long his lashes were, the tips a breath away from his cheekbones. Freckles were scattered across his handsome face like constellations I longed to map out. His face was freshly shaven and I find myself missing the blonde whiskers.
"You asked."
He laughs, ducking his head down shyly, hiding his grin. This adorable gesture makes my heart skip a beat.
"I did, very persistently," he says, glancing back at me, a hint of embarrassment touching his cheeks. His smile is contagious and I find myself laughing along side him.
"Just a little, but here I am," I say, tucking my bangs behind my ear. I decided to wear my hair loose and I'm beginning to miss the comfort of my braid.
"Here you are."
We sit there quietly for a moment, the noise around us turning into a muted buzz. In our conversation, I found that we have turned our bodies to face each other and my knee ended up between his. I ignored the warning bells in my brain and let myself wallow in my sins for a bit longer.
"Can I get you anything to drink?" he asks, waving over the bartender. He returns and tosses a rag over his shoulder expectantly.
"I'll have a Jack and Coke," I tell him. I glance over at Peeta, who gives me a bemused expression.
"What?" I ask, pulling out a few bills to pay for the drinks. Peeta shakes his head and covers his hand over mine. His large hand swallows my small one easily.
"No, it's on me. I'll have the same, thanks," he says, handing him a card. The bartender disappears and Peeta turns to me, his hand remaining over mine.
"You continue to surprise me."
"And why is that? I'm a simple girl, easy to read," I shrug. Everyone says my face is like an open book.
"Not to me. You're a mystery. And-" he turns and hands me my drink from the bartender. "Jack and Coke is also my go to drink." He lets go of my hand and I yearn for the missing warmth. I hate myself for succumbing to my weakness that is Peeta Mellark so easily.
"Shall we go socialize?" I ask, hopping out of my seat. If I stay here alone at the bar with Peeta I could easily get carried away and forget about the effort I put into restricting myself. A futile attempt, honestly, I think to myself. Peeta takes a sip of his drink and motions over to the stage.
"This way," he calls out over the crowd. He places a hand gently on my lower back, guiding me to our friends. I try not to notice the goosebumps spreading out from beneath his hand and focus on not spilling my drink. Peeta gives me a reassuring smile and a sense of calm washes over me. I feel protected from the swaying bodies around us as we weave through the crowd. The acoustic song from the band fills the room with the strums of guitars and the jazzy vocals of the singers. They end their tune as we reach our friends gathered in front of the stage. Prim and Johanna exchange smirks as they see Peeta and I emerge through the crowd, his hand still resting on my lower back. I scowl and shoot back my drink as we approach them.
"I wondered where you disappeared off to," Johanna says coyly, her brown eyes motioning towards Peeta, the hand that was on my lower back now gesturing wildly as he spoke to a handsome, bronze haired fellow a few feet away.
"I had to get some alcohol in my before I had to deal with you all night," I say sarcastically, shaking my now empty glass at her. The warm sensation radiating in my chest and stomach assures me that the whiskey is doing its job in settling my nerves.
Johanna rolls her eyes and slinks her arms around Conall's thick waist. The man was built like an ox and when he stood next to Johanna, it seemed like he could break her in half with little effort. He kisses her forehead lovingly.
"Just ignore her, Katniss. We all need to be a little drunk to deal with her," he says. He lets out a booming laugh as Jo punches his side playfully.
"Katniss!"
I turn and find Peeta motioning me to join him and his friend. Jo blows me a kiss as I turn and make my way to them. I ignore the heat of their stares following me as I step around my sister and Rue. Peeta downs his drink as I approach and introduces me to his friend, who eyes me curiously with his sea green eyes.
"Katniss, this is Finnick Odair, my-"
"Ex-lover, roommate, best friend," Finnick says dramatically, clutching at Peeta's jacket. Peeta scoffs and shakes him off. I stifle my laugh as the blood rushes to Peeta's cheeks.
"More like a pain in my ass," Peeta chuckles. Finnick grins and shakes my hand, covering mine with both of his. I notice the smooth, sun tanned skin of his arms beneath the rolled up sleeves of his shirt. His bronze hair is tousled in a way it would make Alex Turner jealous. He definitely is gorgeous.
"It's really nice to finally meet you, Katniss," he says with a flirty smile. "I've actually seen you before," he says, motioning towards the stage where the previous band is packing up.
"Ah, yeah," I say, tucking the loose strand behind my ear once more. "I've sang here a few times.. a couple of years ago."
"Katniss has the best voice!" Prim pipes up behind me. Peeta and Rue raise their eyebrows in surprise. I shoot Prim a look but she ignores my scowl. "When she sings, the whole world just stops to listen." She finally turns and gives me a sad smile, knowing how our father used to have the same affect when he sang.
"You really do have an amazing voice. You practically had the place packed every night!" Finnick says enthusiastically. I blush and glance down at my drink, the ice melting into the drags of whiskey and soda.
"Thank you, Finnick. I can't wait to watch your set. You have Ripper's packed pretty tight yourself," I say sincerely. Finnick blinds me with his megawatt smile as a tall, dark, black haired man whispers something in his ear.
"Thanks, Thom," he says. He glances and Peeta and I and the rest of our friends and fives us a wave. "Speaking of which, we're about to go on!"
"Break a leg, Finn!" shouts Rue.
"Or two!" Reese teases, suddenly appearing behind me. He glances my way quickly and focus his gaze back on his friend. Finnick throws him a rude gesture as he and Thom climb the steps up the stage. We gather closer to the front of the stage before the crowd gets pushy. Thom and Finnick set their stools behind their microphones, adjusting the heights before taking their seats. The crowd joins us in applause, which seems to fuel Finnick's ego. He waves at the crowd like a pageant queen and sets his guitar on his lap.
Peeta nudges my arm with his elbow and gives me that lopsided smile I love so much. The crowd surges forward and Peeta is pressed against me suddenly and his hands fly to my waist to keep from falling.
"Oof, sorry," he says sheepishly and drops his hands.
I shrug and hope he doesn't notice the flush of red creeping up my neck. Peeta remains behind me and Reese settles himself between my sister and I. I'm pinned between two Mellarks and I roll my eyes at the irony. I can't help but wonder if Reese notices the connection between his brother and I. I know there is something between us that is more just than platonic.
"How are you doing, Katniss?" Reese asks, his eyes never straying from the stage. I can feel Peeta's gaze shifting back and forth between his brother and I, and I shuffle awkwardly in place. I wish I hadn't drank my beverage so quickly.
"I'm doing well, how about yourself?" I ask, raising my eyebrow, remaining aloof. He glances down and I study him closely. I notice his eyes are a darker shade of blue than his younger brothers, and his face lacks the boyish charm that Peeta wears so well.
"Just fantastic, thank you for asking. I'm glad you came out tonight," he says kindly, his gaze drifting away from my face and back to his friends.
"The show is starting," Peeta whispers. He's so close I can feel the warmth of his breath in my hair and I can't hold back the shudder that rocks my body.
The gleam off of Finnick's watch catches my attention as he pulls the microphone stand closer and scans the crowd before speaking.
"I spent the last month stuck in a small boat, tracking the migration patterns of every aquatic beast that crossed my path. I sure miss the ocean but there's nothing better than coming home to this. It's good to be back."
The crowd roars their approval and anticipation fills the air. Finnick leans closer to the mic, his lips brushing against the metal.
"This is a cover of a fine little tune by Hozier. I'm sure you know it."
He nods to Thom, and the dark haired man taps out the time and the two begin to strum. Thom thumbs a simple rhythm and Finnick joins him, picking at the strings of his acoustic guitar delicately. He takes a deep breath and begins to sing.
His voice is low and throaty, like a mix of folk and the blues. The crowd begins to sway in time, and I can hear people begin to sing along. Even Peeta hums quietly. I know the song well, and can't help but sing the lyrics under my breath.
"Why were you digging? What did you bury, before those hands pulled me from the earth?
I will not ask you where you came from, I will not ask and neither should you.
Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips.
We should just kiss like real people do."
Finnick and Thom croon in harmony and I find myself glancing behind my shoulder and catch Peeta's gaze immediately. His body is a breath away, and the space between s feels palpable, almost as if there is static between us. It's reminiscent to what happened a few nights ago, before Peeta's free session at my gym. We stood as close as we are now, and I knew if I hadn't stopped myself then, I would have crashed my lips against his.
It's taking me all I have not to give into the temptation of pulling him into a deep kiss, one that leaves your lips swollen and hungry for more.
I'm surprised at my self control, and just as I had done before, I tear myself away and focus my attention back on stage before I do anything I'll regret.
Being just friends with Peeta Mellark is not as easy as I thought it would be.