"Well I heard that she had a miscarriage," said Izzie, the entire hospital was talking about Derek and Rose. "Apparently she was hysterical and he pushed her to the ground and told her to get back to work."
"I heard that he forced her to have an early abortion, shoved the pills down her throat," said Alex.
"Olivia told me…" started George but he was interrupted by Meredith.
"Shut up all of you," she shouted. "Why are you listening to that crap? It's not true Derek would never do anything like that!"
"Then what did happen?" asked Izzie. "No' one has seen Nurse Rose since this morning, and McDreamy isn't saying a word!"
"I…I don't know what happened," said Meredith. "But he did not shove pills down her throat…He couldn't."
"Well at least someone doesn't believe the rumor mill," said Derek dreamily, leaning against the wall.
"Oh Dr. Shepherd…we uh didn't see you there," said Izzie nervously.
"Clearly."
"We should uh go this way," said Izzie hustling Cristina, George and Alex into the elevator. "Bye."
"Bye," said Derek barely glancing at them.
"Sorry about them," said Meredith.
"It's no worse than what everyone else is saying."
"Still they should know better, they know you better," said Meredith.
"The only things that spreads faster than disease in this place is gossip," said Derek.
"So what did happen this morning?" asked Meredith curiously. "If you don't want to tell me…"
"She wasn't pregnant, she never was," said Derek. "Although she had all but planned our wedding."
"Oh dear," said Meredith.
"Yeah," said Derek. "So I think it's safe to say that she knew what she was doing. I never thought she could be that manipulative."
"I'm sorry," said Meredith.
"It's not your fault."
"Still," said Meredith. "If we hurry you could put Ella to bed if you want?"
"Yeah?"
"Yeah," said Meredith. "Come on."
----------------------------------------
"What on earth is this?" asked Derek. He had just put Ella to bed and walked into the kitchen where Meredith was preparing baby bottle. He held up a shrek baby soft toy.
"It's a Shrek baby."
"A what?"
"You've never seen Shrek, the films?" laughed Meredith.
"No I'm an adult."
"Well you're going to have to get used to seeing these things," said Meredith. "Ella isn't even four months yet but she loves Shrek, she started to watch the first one last Tuesday while I got dressed, when I tried to turn it off she screamed bloody murder for the next hour."
"Really?"
"Really," said Meredith. "Izzie bought her the toy, she loves it."
"But it's a green oagre, doesn't it scare her?"
"Are you kidding? I'm surprised you could pry it away from her."
"I waited till she was asleep," Derek confessed.
"Make sure you put it back before she wakes up."
"I will," said Derek watching Meredith closely. "So…You're not seeing Finn anymore?"
"No I'm not," said Meredith turning back to fix the bottles. "I told you that."
"You did," said Derek. "I was right about him."
"Yes you were right about him," said Meredith, the way Derek said it made her smile unwillingly.
"I never thought he was good enough for you," Derek murmured softly.
"As a recall when I first met Finn, you flew into a jealous rage."
"That I did…"
"Even though you don't get jealous."
"Even though I don't get jealous," said Derek.
"Funny that," said Meredith turning round. She gasped when she realised just how close Derek was, their bodies was pressed against each others and she was backed against the kitchen worktop.
"Isn't it just?"
Derek leaned his head down and brushed his lips gently against hers, instead of pulling away like she knew she should she responded but grazing hers against his. Derek smiled slipping his arm round her small waist, opening his mouth and coaxing her with his tongue. Meredith's hands slid up his shirt and her fingers grazed his abdomen. Derek's hand dropped to her butt as the kiss become more and more heated, he started to lift her onto the worktop. She pulled away abruptly pulling her hand out from under his shirt.
"Meredith…" he said looking at her confused.
"I'm sorry," said Meredith not being able to look him in the eye. "I can't do it. I can't go there with you. Not again. Not ever."
"Why not?" he asked hurt. "I still love you, I don't think I ever stopped…"
"That doesn't matter," said Meredith firmly stepping to the side so as to put some space between them.
"How can that not matter?"
"It just doesn't!"
"Do you still love me?"
"Shut up!"
"Meredith," he said grabbing her arm. "Talk to me."
"I can't go through it again Derek," she said tearfully. "You don't know what I went through last time."
"I'm sorry."
"I know," she said. "But…everything changed…"
"Meredith…"
"Let me talk will you?" she snapped. "When I found out I was pregnant, I was terrified I had no idea what to do! But the only thing I did know was that I wanted you, I knew that you were it for me."
"Meredith…" said Derek dreading what was coming next.
"Let me finish," she said. "I knew that I would never love or want anyone else. You told me you wanted a lifetime do you remember that?"
Derek nodded, closing his eyes praying she wasn't going to say what he thought she was.
"I was ready! I wanted a lifetime with you. I may not have known what to do about the baby, but I wanted to tell you, I wanted to talk about it and make that decision together. But you kissed Rose, you didn't even tell me you met someone else! You waited until there was no going back."
"I'm so sorry," said Derek feeling like he could cry. He could have had everything he had ever wanted, if only he hadn't been so stupid. He could have a family, a proper family. He could have Meredith and their daughter.
"I know you're sorry Derek," said Meredith calmly. "But it doesn't change anything. I don't plan on ever being broken like that again, by anyone. But we have Ella and I have forgiven you for Rose and everything, but I can't forget! We're parents now and we can be friends the way we have been. But we'll never be more than friends!"