Hey, I updated, YAY I was on vacation and working for like my life but it is all good now and I have brought you a new, very odd in my opinion, chapter. I didn't intend for it to turn out the way it did but yanno. Just letting you know that my pen name changed to Jules456 as opposed to lala456, so yeah... Anyway please read and review!

xoxo Jules

Chapter 14: "Mama, just killed a man,"

Marissas POV: Call me blind

Last night was a blur, actually everyday for the past couple of years has been on big blur, faces, drugs, they all mesh together in my head forming one big blob of confusion. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be someone else. Someone who doesn't have all of these problems. Someone who can go two days not having to do a line. Someone normal. I don't know, I guess that it is stupid really, dreaming, fanaticizing because every time that I think that it is possible for me to change… step back I get pulled into it all again.

I leaned back against the side of the pool house taking a long drag of my cigarette.. I needed a hit, but I want to see how long I can hold off, but I can feel my veins pulsating…

My hands shake as I raise the cigarette to my lips once again. My lips trembled as I wrapped my lips around the death stick.

I didn't move as I noticed Ryan approach me.

"How goes?" He asked not looking me in the eye.

It has been kinda weird with everyone after last night and everything that happened at the arcade and all. Nobody really talked about it, which I am more that grateful for.

"Yanno." I said shrugging

"What do you think about this place?" Ryan asked as he sat beside me and leaned back against the pool house. When he took the cig from my hand I expected him to stomp it out, but instead he took a drag himself and then handed it back to me.

I looked at him and held in a grin. There was something different about that kid. It was weird, something that I couldn't exactly read, it was just… I don't know really.

"What?" He said when I didn't respond to his question.

"Nothing. I don't know. It's weird here, different." I tossed the cigarette butt in a bush, not the safest move but…

"Well Kirsten has herded all of us into the kitchen to eat breakfast and she sent me to find you." Ryan said as he stood up and offered me a hand.

"Alright." I said accepting Ryans hand for some odd reason. I brushed off my pants as I stood.

When we entered the kitchen Summer, Seth, Alex, and Luke were already sitting around the table eating bagels. There was a man there though that I didn't recognize.

"Glad to see that you have decided to grace us with your presence." Alex's mother said. As she tossed us bagels from the table.

"Thanks" Ryan and I said in unison.

My eyes subconsciously rested on the man sitting at the counter talking to Sandy.

"Oh I am sorry." Kirsten apologized. "Jimmy, this is Marissa Cooper and Ryan Atwood. Ryan, Marissa, this is Jimmy Cooper."

Jimmy and I's eyes met. A weird feeling passed through my body, something that I had never felt before. I wasn't sure how to feel about it, I actually wasn't quite sure what it was. Jimmy's eyes, they looked like mine, well not after the night that I had last night but I saw it. Maybe I am just making too much of the situation.

"So where are you guys from?" He asked both Ryan and I although his eyes were still fixated on me.

"I'm actually from Chino," Ryan told him, "and Marissa is from Chicago."

"Chicago?" Jimmy said nodding.

"Yup." I said with my lips pursed together.

Everyone noticed the odd exchange between us, but nobody really understood…

Jimmys POV: But I didn't see it coming…

This girl… there was something about her. And I by no means meant for that to come out as pervish as that sounded. Something was familiar, and her last name…

Not too many people know about my darker days, the days after Kirsten. I reached a point in life where I didn't care about anything anymore. I was doing an internship in Illinois, Chicago to be exact. My days consisted of long unpaid work and the nights meaningless one night stands.

There was one woman though that things progressed with, more than one night at least. She had been a "working girl", but I was never a client. She lived in a small trailer in a bad part of the city and had around eight children, three lived with her at the time. I would come over occasionally, we would each get what we wanted and then go our separate ways.

With Julie I wasn't the only one, I know that I couldn't have been. No girl like her could stick to one man. I knew that she was with other people … that's why when she told me that she was pregnant… well I didn't exactly run, but my internship was over and I just kind of left.

I have wondered ever since I left what happened to Julie and that baby. There was only a slim chance that it could have been mine, but the thought that I could have a son or daughter out there has torn me up inside. I actually went back to Chicago it was about four years later. I know, four years later, but I figure better late than never right?

I remember walking up to the door I took a deep breath, I could see a bong sitting on the table and a very pregnant Julie against the wall with some guy. I heard footsteps coming from the side of the trailer. I recognized Julies eldest son Jeremy, and then the girl Dakota, and then there were two more. One was an toddler that Jeremy carried in his arms, and then there was a little girl with long honey blonde hair and blue green eyes. She was only wearing a pair of shorts and she had mud streaked all over her body that was covered with scratches. And yet she was a beautiful little girl.

"Jimmy." Jeremy said, I was surprised that he remembered me

"Hey Jer."

"If ya came to see mom she's busy." He said glancing quickly through the window and then back at me.

The mud from the front of the trailer caked the wheels of my new BMW.

"Oh." I said looking at me feet…

Jeremy stared at me for a moment.

"So you have two new siblings now huh?" I asked awkwardly.

"Yeah." Dakota responded none too happy.

"This is Haley," Jeremy said gesturing to the squabbling toddler in his arms. "And that's 'Rissa."

Suddenly my head began to spin. That little girl 'Rissa, she was three or four at the time.

"Oh my god." I thought as I grabbed Kirsten and pulled her outside.

"WHAT?" Kirsten said taking hold of my arm.

"Marissa, I think, well you I know this sounds crazy, but there is a chance that she may be mine…"

Could fate be real? Or divine intervention? Was this all just a coincidence? Life is full of questions…

r&r

I have had this chap written for awhile but my comp is being completely crazy. sighs