I did not have the internet for three months and when igot it fixed my entire c drive got erased, including this story which I had through chapter twenty written to. After the finale I felt the need to get this story together to do justice my OC way. I respect the finale for what its worth. Death just seems so final though is all. But whatever, thats why we write our own stories huh?

Keep reading.

xoxo Jules

Chapter 16: Put a gun against his head

Marissas POV: "Everbody was running"

I never missed having a dad because I never knew what it was like to have one. I think that the whole idea of parenthood is overrated, … or I did until I saw the way that Sandy is with Alex. He cares about her and protects her. Sometimes I wonder if my dad could have protected me from my mom; the way that she used to close my nose and blow smoke into my mouth until I was high. She thought it was funny. I think that it made me an addict.

I have always felt crowded. Crowded by conflict, crowded by confusion. Here in Newport though it's been different. I just feel like everything goes on forever. I can stare out freely onto the ocean and see no end. In a weird juvenile way it kind of makes me feel like there are so many possibilities. Realistically tough I know that I have an education that's worth shit, and the memory of a 60 year old woman, and the hope of a person on their death bed.

Alex is a pretty cool person. I don't think that I have ever met someone who is just so chill. I cant help but to wait for everything to hit the fan as it tends to when things are going so well. We have clean clothes, beds to sleep in, food to eat. But all of this is not our life, well for me Summer and Ryan anyway.

Breakfast was interesting. My hand was trembling too much to use my fork. Withdrawal's a bitch. I leaned back against the warm wall of the pool house where I was crouched as I moved my unstable hand back and forth from my mouth as I smoked a joint that I had found in the bottom of my bag.

"Hey," a voice said from above me

As I looked up I saw Jimmy towering over me. I shielded my eyes from the sun as sudden panic rushed over my body. Noticing my nervousness he assured me that it was okay.

"I did that a bit when I was your age." He confessed to me. "So Chicago eh?" He asked me

"Yeah." I said pulling my knees in closer to my body.

"How'd you like it there?" He asked lamely

"I hated it."

"I lived there for awhile doing business, but it was almost seventeen years ago, I'm sure a lot has changed."

I shrugged.

"So you're a Cooper eh?" He asked me.

I nodded in response as a peculiar feeling came over my body.

"So is your mom's name Cooper, or your dad?" Jimmy said stuttering and tripping over his words.

"Nah, my moms not a Cooper so I'm assuming it came from somewhere else." I said cutting him a sideways glance.

Jimmys POV: "Everybody was running"

I looked at the girl in front of my obviously haunted by her past and living her parents mistakes. Right in that moment I knew it. I saw past the baggy, watery, glossed over blue green eyes and through the transparent blue tinted skin, and through the protruding bones and who I saw was my daughter.

"And your dad?" I then asked

"I don't know him."

Right now, in this moment I wish more than anything that I had taken her four years before when I saw her barefoot and caked with mud. I knew looking at her even then that she was mine. I was young and scared. Twenty three on the brink of something great, something that at the time I was naïve enough to think would fulfill me.

"Your mom's name, wh- what was it?" It took me forever to get up the courage to say those words.

"Julie."

That was all that it took for my heart to sink to my feet and my stomach to rise into my throat.

Marissas POV: "But I couldn't hear nothing"

I swallowed a lump in my throat as I look at the man in front of me. A man who was so transparent that there were no words necessary. I could read him, see into him like no one before.

I don't know what possessed me to speak then at that moment, to say what I'd been holding in since I crossed paths with Jimmy Cooper in the Kitchen.

"I remember."

The only things worth living for are innocence and madness

Let me know if anyone is still reading this. I know that I kept everyone waiting so long but i have been really motivated to finish this story in particular. Anyhow please review and i am still open to requests. Thanks for sticking with me.

xoxo Jules