Loving the reviews, guys! Here's where the initial plan for the story comes in. This was what I wanted to do from the start so I hope y'all don't hate it!
Mitchie's POV
Three months passed since that day and things had gotten slightly better. By better, I mean things had changed… a lot. For one, my mom and I had gotten even closer. After two weeks she finally put a stop to Alex sleeping in my bed so I spent every night sleeping in her bed instead, unless it was one of the rare occasions that she allowed me to sleep at Alex's house on the promise that we would sleep in separate rooms (white lie.)
The school's principal decided after due consideration that it would be in all of our best interests if we kept the situation under wraps, meaning that the only people who knew about the incident were him, Alex, my mom, Mrs Taylor and myself (and Alex's parents but they didn't really count since they weren't ever in school.) He shouldn't have done it but he actually bribed Alex and me to keep quiet. The school had an award ceremony every year where they would present the top five seniors with college scholarships. He gave me a full one and Alex an eighty percent one as a 'thank you and an apology,' meaning that we could both pick a college of our own choices and I would go for free whilst Alex would receive a considerably large discount. That was one less thing to stress about, although I would have much preferred to name and shame the guy that turned my life upside down.
Alex and I still hadn't gone any further than a little heated making out, I had tried a few times but Alex just couldn't do it. It wasn't that I didn't trust her or anything like that but I couldn't handle it. I wanted to, God did I want to, but Alex didn't seem to think that I was ready. I couldn't help but fall a little more in love with her for being so considerate and selfless.
Love. Yep, that four letter word. Over the three months I had come to the realisation that I was, in fact, falling in love with Alexandra Russo. I couldn't help myself, who wouldn't fall in love with her? She was beautiful, caring, considerate, kind, selfless (when it came to me, anyway) and there was nothing to not love about her. She was just so perfect that it was all still a little surreal. I just couldn't help but grin like an idiot when I was around her and whenever I was around her the incident seemed to momentarily disappear. But then, of course, it would come back and hit me like a bomb.
Sometimes I would actually be okay, things heal with time and it really was getting better. Just not by as much as my mom and Alex believed it to be. To them, I was fine. I was coping really well. I still smiled, I still laughed, I didn't flinch every time someone touched me. Aside from the fact that I refused to go into a classroom with the door shut, I appeared to be fine. I actually was fine, it was only every so often when I was alone that I would actually break down. Because I was suppressing how I really felt about it I was getting sick as well, so I also avoided eating where possible. Twice, maybe three times a week I would eat in front of either my mom or Alex to keep them from getting suspicious. It wasn't an eating disorder at all, but every time I tried to eat I just felt nauseated, especially lately, because I would just think about him.
I stayed off school for a little while after it happened, only a few days, but when I went back I kind of had a panic attack and freaked out when I was shut in the classroom. It was Spanish, first period, the room that it happened, so Bethan was with me and she knew as soon as I started to hyperventilate that Alex should be informed so she texted her and Alex was holding me almost two minutes later. After that the principal had told all of my teachers that I mustn't have the door shut in class. Sometimes they would forget and Alex would scream at them or they would look at me and remember, but for the most part they were all good about it. Only one tried to press the issue with me and asked me why but when I reminded her that the principal had ordered it and hadn't elaborated on the situation for a reason, she dropped it again.
So, as I had recently gotten used to, I was hanging over a toilet at nine AM after excusing myself from Spanish. I was retching and gagging loudly, not caring that anyone could walk in because I knew that if they did then I wouldn't have to come out of the small, dirty stall I'd locked myself in, so they would never know it was me.
After around ten minutes of being there I heard the door swing open violently, startling me slightly and informing me that someone else had entered the dingy bathroom. "Mitch, baby, are you in here?" Alex called out to the room, her voice causing a weak smile to play on my sore lips before my mouth automatically opened again as my puke forced its way up my throat and into the basin below. "I'm climbing over." Alex continued, sounding closer than before. She clearly realised that it was me from the strangled sob that escaped my lips alongside the vomit.
The faded blue walls shook as Alex hoisted herself over the stall and she landed on her feet, narrowly avoiding me, with a thump. I glanced up at her and smiled weakly, feeling extremely self-conscious about how unattractive I looked, before quickly aiming back down at the toilet as what felt like the final bit of puke came up. It took mere seconds for Alex to start rubbing small, soothing circles on my back to try and console me in some way. "Hey," I mumbled to her as I pulled some tissue from the holder and began to wipe my mouth with it before flushing it away with my vomit.
"Why are you throwing up again?" She asked me slowly, gradually slowing down her hand's movement on my back. I raised an eyebrow at her to try and act oblivious but she shook her head softly and pulled me in for a tight hug, probably not caring that I smelled like bile. "Don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about, I heard you throwing up in the bathroom on Saturday morning and you looked sick on Sunday at work." She added quickly, pulling my head into her chest so she could begin stroking my hair.
"I… I don't know. I guess it's just my body's way of coping." I guessed half-heartedly.
"Mitch… When was your last period?" She asked slowly after a few moments of silence. I pulled away from her quickly and stared at her with wide eyes as I realised what she just might have been getting at.
"I… I don't know that either but I'm sure it's just stress. I'm pretty sure I've had one since that day." I admitted as I raked my brain for when my last period occurred. I had no idea.
"Are you certain?" Alex had her eyebrows both raised and a concerned look on her face. I'd usually laugh and tell her she was being ridiculous if it wasn't looking so realistic with every word she spoke. The harder I tried the less I could remember having a period since it happened and then it struck me that the reason for that was simply that I hadn't had one. Shit.
"Shouldn't you be in class?" I tried to change the subject as realisation finally settled in. If we didn't speak about it then it wasn't happening, right?
"Don't change the subject."
"How did you even know I was in here?" I tried a different approach, although I knew it was pointless.
"Mitch…" Alex trailed off calmly, although I could clearly see that she was getting pissed off with me. Truthfully I was getting pissed with her too, it was obvious that I didn't want to talk about it so why couldn't she just leave me to live in blissful ignorance for a little longer. I was much happier ten minutes ago when the possibility of an unwanted pregnancy hadn't crossed my mind.
"Alex, drop it, for fuck sake." I hissed at her, not even attempting to show how pissed I was at her. I wasn't sure why but my temper was suddenly a hell of a lot shorter than it usually was.
"Mitchie, would you just answer the goddamn question?!" She yelled at me, pushing me away from her and throwing her hands in the air in distress, getting a look on her face that I would usually think was adorable. This time it was just plain annoying.
"No!" I growled at her, moving to unlock the stall door but being stopped in my tracks by a frustrated Alex grabbing my wrists tightly. I had a sudden flashback of when he stopped me from leaving and automatically went into panic mode, using my free hand to try desperately to release the rusted lock and thrashing with my restrained hand to escape from her grasp. I knew that Alex would never hurt me unless I'd asked her to (ahem, bedroom, ahem), so why was I suddenly so scared? Had he really screwed me up that much?
"Why not?!" Alex yelled again, clearly not realising how shallow my breathing suddenly was or how desperately hard I was trying to unlock the damn door.
"Because then it might become true!" I shouted back before bursting into an uncontrollable fit of tears and falling limp against her suddenly welcoming body. I shook violently against her as she gently lowered us down to the floor and sat me on her lap, my desperation to escape the small, enclosed area disappearing all of a sudden. "I'm so scared." I muttered to her through a broken voice as she visibly calmed down and began to stroke my hair again.
"Mitch, baby, I don't want to scare you but we have to be real here; you're throwing up in the mornings, you can't remember when your last period was… please, please don't get offended by this one because that's the last thing I want but I've got to be honest; I know that you've pretty much stopped eating but you haven't lost any weight. In fact, lift your shirt up a little." She instructed firmly, moving her hands slowly to the bottom of my plain white school shirt and beginning to lift it slightly. As much as I should have been, and usually would have been, I wasn't offended by her comment about my weight because I knew that she wasn't being cruel; it was the genuine truth. As Alex lifted my shirt I realised why she wanted me to do it; there was in fact a tiny bit of extra weight there that was protruding over the waistband of my school skirt.
I gasped loudly when I noticed it, not expecting it to be there. Usually I avoided looking in the mirror without a shirt on because I hated how I looked and it made me feel physically sick but this time I couldn't really avoid it. Alex gasped as well when she spotted the small bump there and placed her hands gently over my bare skin.
"We need to get you a pregnancy test, Mitch. I'm pretty sure that we both know what the result is going to be but just to be sure we should confirm it. Come on, let's go." She told me shakily, her eyes glassy and unseeing. She was simply staring at some graffiti on the wall opposite as she blindly pushed me up slightly to make me stand.
The drive to the drug store was silent, usually we would smoke in the car but given the recent enlightenment I didn't think it would be a very good idea. Once we parked the car, Alex wrapped her arm around me and firmly led me into the pristine store.
We were on the receiving end of a dirty look from the woman that sold us the pregnancy test but at that point I didn't really care about anything except the result of that test, so as she was putting the small, rectangular box into a paper bag, I scrunched my face up at her and decided to set straight the thoughts that were undoubtedly running through her mind.
"I'm not a slut, it wasn't consensual." I told her before quickly grabbing the bag and leaving, not giving the shocked woman a chance to respond or apologise which I would hope she wanted to do after the looks she had originally thrown our way.
Alex parked the car outside her apartment and we walked in silence up to her room, Alex not even making an attempt to explain to either of her parents why she wasn't at school; I knew from past experience that they wouldn't really care anyway since she didn't have a tendency to ditch school unless she had a good reason... in their minds anyway.
Ten minutes later, I found myself sitting on Alex's plush double bed, staring at the photo of us that was hung on the back of the door. I was doing everything possible to avoid eye contact with the girl I loved because I knew that once I slipped up she would inform me of what I already knew; the test was seasoned and it was time to flip it over and more than likely confirm our suspicions.
I was quickly pulled from my thoughts by my phone vibrating in my bra, causing me to whip it out, grateful for the distraction.
Mom: Why have I just had a message informing me that you and Alex left first period early and haven't shown up to second or third?
I rolled my eyes; it was obviously going to be something along those lines.
Mitchie: Had an issue, will explain later. Don't be mad, it's to do with that thing. Talk later.
Just as I'd finished typing the reply and hit send, I felt Alex's soft hand take a gentle hold of my wrist, grabbing my attention and forcing me to finally make eye contact with her.
Brown eyes met brown as she smiled weakly at me and placed her hand gently on top of my left one, which was holding the white stick face down. The white stick which would pretty much determine my future.
"It's time, Mitch." She told me softly, gently turning my wrist and causing the stick to face me, my eyes closing tightly instantly to avoid the inevitable. I knew exactly what the result would be from the fact that my usually flat stomach was protruding slightly and there was no way I could possibly be gaining weight. "Mitch, you need to look at it. I'm not looking, you need to do this." I heard Alex's voice, although I couldn't see her through my closed eyes.
"I can't… I just… You do it for me?" I pleaded with her with my eyes still shut tightly. I heard Alex let out a breathy sigh followed by a small gasp. I knew that she'd looked at it and my curiosity suddenly got the better of me; was it a shocked gasp or a knowing one?
It was a knowing one, I realised as I stared blankly down at the small smiley face. I was pregnant.
"Please don't leave me." I choked out as tears welled up in my eyes rapidly and I fought a difficult battle to prevent them from escaping. Alex gently plucked the doomed test from my grasp and dropped it uncaringly to the floor before pushing me back softly until my body flopped against the soft mattress and my head sunk into the pillow beneath it. I felt a pair of familiar, strong arms snake around my waist from either side as Alex spooned into me from behind, leaving her hands to rest gently on the skin of my slightly bigger-than-usual stomach underneath my school shirt.
She tenderly pressed her lips to my temple before placing a soft, reassuring kiss on my neck after moving my hair out of the way. "I promised that I'd be here every step of the way. I meant it." She spoke clearly, desperately trying not to leave room for any confusion.
"You've known for as long as I have, yet you've already accepted the responsibility and burden of a child coming into our relationship?" I asked her quietly, cautiously, as I stared at the TV which was mounted on the wall. The red light signalling that it was on standby mode seemed considerably brighter than usual.
"I'd be lying if I said that the thought hadn't crossed my mind since it all happened. Pregnancy is always a possibility of unprotected sex and the day it happened was your most fertile day, it took a while but I managed to work that one out from when you were last on your period. I've been expecting this for a while. At first it freaked me the fuck out but with time I began to accept it; I knew that you would need support and now you have it. Whatever you decide to do, whether you decide to keep the baby or not, I will be here for you. It can even call me daddy if you want it to."
My eyes began to tear up again at Alex's kind, supportive words but this time I refused to let them fall, blinking hard to prevent them from slipping their way out. "I'm keeping it." I told her firmly as I placed my hands over hers and laced our fingers together. "As far as I'm concerned this is my child. Yes, this is my unplanned child, but it's still my child. I don't care who its biological father is because pretty much since we met, it's you I've wanted to have babies with. Admittedly, I didn't want babies with you until the very distant future, but I still want babies with you. To me, this is as much your baby as it is mine… if you want it to be." I told her nervously.
"Well, in that case, our baby is going to be beautiful." Alex said, seeming certain of herself. "I am more than willing to take on this baby as my own but I want you to do something for me before either of us even thinks about anything else…" She trailed off, loosening her hold on me slightly and untangling her fingers from mine.
"What?" I asked her unsurely, turning around so I was facing her. Our faces were mere inches apart and her breath was tickling my lips as we spoke.
"I want you to come with me downstairs. I want you to order a sandwich and eat it because, whilst I know that you're struggling with food right now, it is no longer just yourself that you're starving any more. Malnutrition is one of the leading causes of miscarriages in pregnancies and I don't want that to happen to you. If you deny this request then I take back everything I said about being here for you because as much as I don't want to take it back, if you don't help yourself then I can't help you and if you won't eat then you're just being selfish. Please, Mitch." She practically begged with a desperate look in her eyes as she once again pressed her hand to my stomach.
I sighed heavily. "I guess I could eat one of your dad's famous meatball subs." I told her with a small smile.
"Dude, it's like half ten in the morning, I was thinking, like, a breakfast sub or something." She told me with a slight chuckle before leaning forward to gently kiss the tip of my nose. "But if it's what you want then it's what you'll get, my beautiful little freak." She said somewhat sarcastically, patting the top of my head then pulling me up from the bed to stand with her.
"Hey! Don't be mean to me, I'm the pregnant one. I'm allowed to have cravings, especially since now I know why I've been craving weird things at random times. I don't have to suppress it any more." I argued my case jokingly, suddenly feeling better about things all because I knew that I would have my wonderful girlfriend to support me through it.
Were you expecting that? Too predictable? Gimme your thoughts, bitches! ;D
I joke, I joke, you're not bitches! But thoughts would be awful nice and you know what ten of them get you!