"Happy birthday dear," said Linda Shepherd.
"Thanks Mom," said Derek trying to keep a smile on his face.
He had flown to New York two days earlier, he wanted to clear his head and sort out what he was doing with Meredith. He was in love with her, he knew that, he also knew that he had broken her twice. He didn't know if he could trust himself not to do it again, and he had Ella to think about. He couldn't risk breaking Meredith again, not when he knew it would affect Ella and his perfect little daughter did not deserve to have her parents at each others throats. Both Ella and Meredith deserved a perfect happily ever after, Derek just had to accept that he couldn't give it to them.
"You could call her," said Linda.
"Call who?"
"You know who," she said.
"She will be at work," he sighed. "Anyway we're just friends…if that."
"Okay," said Linda, not wanting to push the subject.
"I just miss them," he sighed, there were always something about his mother that made Derek want to open up and tell her all his problems in hope that she could make it all better the ways he used to when he was a kid. "I've only been her two days and I miss them like I haven't seen them for a year."
"That's alright," said Linda sympathetically. "I miss you all the time, it's normal for a parent to miss their children."
"I know," he said. "But I shouldn't miss Meredith as much, should I?"
"You two spend a lot of time together," said Linda choosing her words carefully. "You have a very special bond…"
"In other words no," said Derek flatly. "I shouldn't miss her like I do."
"I can't tell you what you feel," she said. "But I do think you should call her."
"I can't," said Derek looking out of the kitchen window. Linda knew it was pointless to keep talking to him, he was brooding now.
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"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Meredith asked Mark for the hundredth time that day.
"Of course I'm sure," said Mark yet again. "You and the kid showing up at the surprise party is perfect, trust me."
"Trust you?"
"I am going to rise above that and not take offense," said Mark. "If I know Derek and believe me I do, he is sitting at home with his mother sulking because he misses Ella and…you."
"I doubt that," muttered Meredith. "He has barely even looked at me in the past week, let alone talk."
"Just because you didn't see him look doesn't mean he wasn't," said Mark. "We have to go to my place first, you can dump your bags and do whatever it is you people do before a party."
"Okay," said Meredith staring out of the car window. She and Ella were staying with Mark for the day and a half that they would be in New York.
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"What are you doing here?" asked Derek.
"You didn't think I would miss your birthday did you?" said Mark.
"Yes," said Derek.
Derek's surprise party had started half an hour ago, it wasn't exactly a surprise party because he knew about it. His sisters always insisted on throwing him one whenever he was in town on his birthday. He was being polite, talking to everyone smiling, pretending he was enjoying himself when all he really wanted to do was go home, kick off his shoes and mope about what he could have had.
"Well Mom called me and told me if I didn't get my ass on a plane she would do something unspeakable bad to me," said Mark.
"That sounds more like it," laughed Derek.
"I did bring you a present though," said Mark.
"You did? Where?" said Derek looking at Mark, he didn't have a gift with him.
"Yes I did," he said. "It's in the garage."
"What is it?" asked Derek suspiciously.
"Why don't you go and see for yourself?"
"Alright," said Derek looking at Mark as if he was sure he was up to something.
Derek walked towards the garage, he opened the door and stepped in. Before he had even seen or heard them, he knew it was Meredith and Ella. Then the smell hit him.
"Ugh you sure can pick your moments," groaned Meredith as she took Ella's diaper off. "How can someone so small do that?"
Ella just lay on the changing mat, gurgling happily clutching her Shrek baby in her hand.
"Da da da da da da da," she sang happily. "Ball Ball Ball."
"Yes I know Da Da Ball," said Meredith. Ella had learned her first word the day before, it had been Da Da of course. "Da Da? Would it kill you to say Ma Ma…or anything else?"
"She's talking now?" said Derek leaning against the doorframe watching them.
"Oh my God Derek!" gasped Meredith. "You scared the life out of me!"
"Sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to."
"It was supposed to be a surprise," said Meredith as she turned back to finish changing Ella's diaper. "You weren't supposed to find us in here."
"Mark told me I would find my birthday present in here," he said. "So unless he's giving me my own car, I think I was supposed to find you here."
"Oh well Happy Birthday," said Meredith. "We got you a real present too, it's here somewhere."
"I think this is better than any gift," said Derek lifting Ella from the table. "I missed you."
"Da Da," squealed Ella, looking quite pleased with herself. "Da Da. Da Da."
"Yeah I'm your Da Da," beamed Derek. "When did she start talking?"
"Yesterday," said Meredith. "Da Da. Isn't that just typical you weren't even in the state and her first word is still Da Da?"
"Well isn't she clever?" said Derek tickling Ella's stomach. "I think she's going to be a genius."
"I think she's going to be such a Daddy's girl."
"I think she already is."
"It's not fair, I pushed her out, I gave birth," said Meredith. "But when 'Da Da' is around…Oh well it could be worse I suppose. She could be like me."
"There's not much wrong with being you," said Derek.
"Hmmmm," said Meredith thoughtfully.
"I'm…I'm sorry about the way I've been with you lately," said Derek not looking at Meredith. "You didn't do anything wrong and I had no right to treat you as if you had."
"Thank you," she said. "Apology accepted."
"Good."
"Do you mind if I ask what was bothering you?" asked Meredith watching his body language very carefully.
"I was just thinking about what an ass I am," said Derek. "That's all."
"Okay," said Meredith knowing there was more to it than that. "Shall we go and join the party now?"
"Yes."