"Lexi, I need to tell you something." I announced to Alex after finishing my sandwich. We were in the substation which was pretty much dead due to the time. Alex seemed to be in her own little world as she stared shamelessly at my stomach through my school shirt. I knew why she was looking at it but I still couldn't help feeling self-conscious; whether it was food weight or baby weight I'd still gained weight and I still felt horribly insecure about my figure. The next few months would certainly be a challenge for my self-esteem.
"What, baby?" She asked in a sort of trance, her eyes never leaving my protruding middle.
"I… So, I need to tell you this because I mean it and you need to know, as much as I'd love to hear it back it's not my main concern right now," I began, grabbing her attention properly as she dragged her focus from my stomach to my probably slightly puffy eyes. "Since I met you I felt this undeniable attraction to you, you made me realise my sexuality and you helped me come to terms with it. You've done so much for me and helped me so much, you've never failed to make me smile and you've really stayed true to your word about being here for me after… that thing." I continued, avoiding the r-word like the plague.
"It's what I'm here for, sweetie. I'd be a shitty girlfriend if I didn't do all of those things, wouldn't I?" She asked with a shrug, lowering her voice considerably as the word 'girlfriend' passed her lips because her parents were both in the same room, walking around, cleaning tables and taking orders.
"I know, but let me finish. I'm not done yet." I told her, pressing my finger softly against her luscious lips to shut her up. She often had a tendency to interrupt me when she thought I was finished so I knew that the action was necessary. "So, not only have you helped me with all of that, but you're about to embark on motherhood with me. You're about to take on major responsibility and become a parent because of my mista-"
"It was not your mistake, it was his. Don't you dare ever say that again." She growled, instantly becoming angry and forcing my finger from her lips. I sighed and shook my head softly.
"I should have taken the morning after pill; it didn't even cross my mind. The possibility of a pregnancy was admittedly the last thing on my mind. I should have done something to prevent it. Anyway, that's not the point. You have no ties, you don't have to take this baby on but you're willing to. All of the things you do and how happy you make me has all added together over the eight months I've known you. What I'm trying to say Alex, is that I have fallen head over heels in love with you and I'm damn proud to admit it." I told her, my voice losing its quiver and becoming firmer and more confident with every word I spoke.
As I scanned Alex's facial features I saw pure blissful joy. The grin on her face was growing larger by the second until it was practically spread from ear to ear and her eyes lit up a distinguishable amount from my admission. "Mitch, that was so beautiful. I love you, too. I really do. This was everything I wanted from the moment I met you; I wanted us to both fall in love and be happy for ages. I want us to grow old together and have babies together. That's what we're doing now; I don't care that it's a lot earlier than I originally wanted and I don't care that this baby isn't biologically mine because it is mine. It's ours." She told me, tears welling in her eyes as she took my hands in hers across the table and bit her lip softly to prevent her tears from escaping. I was so ecstatic at what she'd just said that I couldn't help but think of what I wanted to do next.
I wasn't quite sure how to press my next issue but it was something that I definitely needed to do so I decided to bite the bullet, so to speak, and go for it.
"There's something I want to do now…" I trailed off nervously, trying to make it obvious that I was deadly serious about what I was next going to say.
"Anything, baby. I'd do anything to make you happy, you name it and we'll do it."
"I want you to make love to me now. Lexi, I know that you're dubious about it because of what happened but I'm honestly okay. I hate the fact that the last person to… penetrate me… was him. I want you inside me and I want you to make me cum, I don't ever want to be with anyone else again. Please, Lexi." I whispered to her, ready to beg if I had to. I knew that she was sceptical about doing it but I couldn't really understand why; I was ready for it. At first she was right to avoid it at all costs but it had been three months and I was ready to be touched again; I wasn't scared any more. I wanted the girl I was in love with that made me inexplicably happy to give me all the pleasure that she could.
"But the baby…" She trailed off, expecting me to know what that had to do with anything. I was slightly offended as I worried that maybe she didn't think I was attractive any more now that I was gaining weight and she easily picked up on that as my face fell in disappointment. "I just don't want to hurt it by being inside you. I think we should set up a doctor's appointment to see what we can and can't do before we do anything. Mitch, I don't want to make you feel bad but this baby probably needs checking over properly because of your recent eating habits. I don't want to do anything to jeopardise its or mostly your health. I also think that we should speak to your mom and my parents first. I'm going to be a daddy or whatever you want me to be so I think it's time that they knew all about us." She told me quickly, rushing her words out to put an end to my arguably irrational thoughts.
"You're serious?" I asked her breathlessly, suddenly not caring that she was still making excuses not to sleep together. She actually wanted to tell her parents about us.
We'd discussed Alex telling her parents about us before but it always just ended up in an argument; we weren't a particularly argumentative couple but that was one issue we did fight about. I hated that we had to hide our relationship whenever they were about but Alex kept arguing that she simply wasn't ready to tell them. It had been that way for months so in my honest opinion, this was a big step for us.
"Deadly," She stated simply, taking a sip of my drink and earning a glare from me in response. "Mitch, I love you. I'm totally serious about you and this baby. I know we've only officially known for about half an hour but I've known and accepted the possibility for months. I'm ready to be committed to you and our child. We have to tell your mom first though since biologically it will be her grandchild." She told me maturely, smirking slightly. I just knew she'd been researching all sorts of shit about how to cope in this kind of situation and I could feel how proud she was radiating from her.
"You're totally been researching this shit. What else have you learned, clever clogs?" I asked her jokingly, nudging her shoulder as we stood from the table and took our tray to the bin before heading upstairs to Alex's family living area.
"I know that you shouldn't worry about what your mom will have to say about it all. Most parents of teenage mothers freak out because they're upset that their kids have had sex underage or been stupid enough to do it without protection. Obviously that is not the case here and your mom knows that this is anything but your fault. I also know that if on the slightly off chance that she does react badly, my parents currently adore you and once I've explained the situation I am sure that they'll be more than happy to have you stay with us until she cools down." Alex told me informatively as she lay across the orange couch with her back leaning against the armrest, her legs and arms open and inviting me to rest between them.
Once we were settled in our position with my head resting against my girlfriend's chest, she loosely wrapped her arms around me and rested both of her hands oh-so-lightly on my stomach, as if she were not only protecting me but the baby as well.
"How far along do you think I am?" I voiced the question that was racing around in my head. Clearly I wasn't too far gone considering it wasn't that long since it happened and I only had a small bump but there was still a bump there and they don't usually show up until the woman is past the ten weeks mark.
"Well, I also researched that one too. Your last period started on the fifth of January so if my calculations are correct, which they probably aren't, you should be around fourteen weeks gone so you're already into your second trimester." I wanted to ask more about how I could possibly be so far along since it was only twelve weeks ago that I would have conceived but Alex just looked so adorable with that smug grin that showed she thought she was right that I simply had to play along and allow her to feel smart for a while.
"You're my wonderful genius. I have such a beautiful and clever girlfriend." I told her as I rolled over in her embrace to lay on my stomach which was pressed to hers, then I placed my lips softly on hers and sunk my teeth into her bottom lip gently.
The loving kiss lasted nowhere near long enough for my liking but Alex literally lifting me up with her strong, muscly arms was enough to make me realise that she desperately wanted to stop. She seemed to keep inadvertently offending me.
"Baby, I don't want you lying on your stomach; it could hurt the baby." I sighed but complied and rolled over again to press my back against her stomach once more. I already had a feeling that she was going to get a little too over protective of my wellbeing and it was only going to get worse as I became more pregnant.
My mom didn't get home until five o'clock that evening and when she did I began to tremble uncontrollably with fear, something which didn't go unnoticed by Alex who grabbed my hand in her own firmly and rested both of our hands on my lap whilst she rested her other hand on my bare knee, causing her to have to sit at an angle.
"Girls, don't give me the whole built up, suspense thing. I'm way too tired for that. Whatever you tell me, I'd rather you would just get it over with because no doubt it's going to be another big shock." My mom said tiredly from the couch opposite as she rubbed her temples to try and relieve some of the migraine I knew she would be suffering from; stress, worry and long days added together always caused her a migraine, sometimes they were unbearable.
I tried to open my mouth to tell her but my words hitched in my throat; between us, Alex and I had planned a big speech about how we'd found out and that it was all going to be okay but when it came down to it I couldn't even make the first word leave my mouth.
Alex, of course, realised this and spoke for me. "Mitchie's pregnant." She said simply, causing me to smack her arm harshly and my mom to sigh before pinching the bridge of her nose.
"Alex!" I yelled at her, ready to begin ranting before my mom cut me off.
"Are you certain?" She asked simply, seemingly not shocked by what Alex had just told her.
"She's been getting sick in the mornings," Alex began calmly, only to be cut off by my mom throwing in a comment about noticing that. "She had a weird craving for a meatball sub at ten thirty this morning, she has a tiny, barely noticeable but still there, bump under her shirt and when I took her to get a pregnancy test this morning it came back positive." She finished as if it weren't a big deal, plucking the slightly beaten pregnancy test from her bag and sliding it across the table, the smiley face sticking out like a sore thumb. My mom picked it up gently and studied it closely, probably checking for any sign of error.
"How do you girls feel about this?" She asked, causing a look of sheer confusion to cross both mine and Alex's faces. Why wasn't she freaking out?
"Why are you so calm about this, mom?" I asked her as I pulled my test from her hands again and slipped it into my bag ready to dispose of it later. "Why aren't you freaking out and cursing his name for what he's done? Why aren't you panicking?" I asked her slightly agitatedly. Was it just me that wasn't totally calm about the situation?
"Remember I was in a similar situation when I fell pregnant with you so I knew what I was looking out for, Mitch. The first time I heard you throwing up this was the first thing that came to mind. You've been off your food as well and I won't lie to you and pretend that I didn't notice you gaining a little weight. I don't want you to be offended but when I walked into your room whilst you were changing a few days ago, I couldn't help but notice that your stomach was slightly, and I mean a tiny bit, larger than usual." She admitted quietly, staring blankly at my stomach, much like Alex had done previously, then looking back up to my face. I suddenly felt nauseous again at the mere thought of everyone else noticing as well. Then I brushed the irrelevant thought from my mind; no one else knew what had happened. "The principal and Mrs Taylor have both noticed that you seem queasy some mornings and mentioned it to me because of what happened, they think that you're not coping very well and are making yourself sick; they haven't guessed that you're pregnant." She finished gently, looking sympathetically into my eyes with tears welling in her own. It seemed like all my mom and I did together lately was cry. Most of the nights when I would sleep in her bed she would come up to bed to find me crying, pull me close to her chest and cry with me.
"Was I the only one that didn't suspect anything?" I asked exasperatedly, slightly pissed that I was so oblivious to changes in my own body.
"I think so, Mitch. So, I will ask you again, how do you feel about it? What do you want to do about it, Mitch? Please know that nobody expects you to be able to love a baby that is the product of him." My mom told me with an extremely genuine and sympathetic tone to her voice, her eyes soft and kind.
"I… Actually, mom, Alex and I have discussed it and decided that we want to keep it and raise it together, if you'd be okay with that." I told her unsurely, resting the hand that Alex wasn't holding on my stomach and patting it gently. "I know that it'll be difficult and I know that it'll be expensive but I think we'll be okay. Alex wants to take the baby on as her own and we will both still go to college and then when the baby comes along it'll come with us. I know that you said bringing a baby up in college is hard but you managed alone so I think we'll be okay." I gushed out in my attempt to persuade her. After discussing it pretty much all day, Alex and I decided that wasting our scholarships would be an incredibly stupid thing to do; if college with a baby didn't work out then I would drop out (Alex seemed adamant that she would too) but I had to at least try.
My mom took a moment to look tiredly into my eyes; I hated to see my mom stressed and now I knew why she was so stressed; she knew that I was pregnant and was worrying about it.
"Mitchie, I'm not about to tell you what you can and can't do with your own life and your baby's, if you want to keep it then that's fine by me but I honestly don't think that it's a good idea. No matter what you tell yourselves, that baby still came from him and I'm not sure that you'll be able to handle that. You may think that you'll be able to look past it but it'll be a different story when it comes and, for example, has his eyes or his nose," She began to explain softly, her eyes landing on my stomach and staying there as she spoke, probably taking in the fact that her former suspicions had been proved. "However, saying that, no matter how much you looked like Chad when you were born, I still managed to fall completely in love with you from the moment you were handed to me." My mom added slowly, seemingly being cautious with every word.
I smiled softly then got up from the couch, causing Alex to remove her hands from my lap and knee, and walked around the coffee table to sit next to my mom and wrap my arms around her neck tightly.
"I'm not scared, Mom," I admitted quietly, pressing my face into her neck. I could feel her warm skin against my lips as they moved and I contemplated pulling away a little to prevent it from happening but eventually I decided against it. "I should be terrified and I honestly was this morning, but I'll have Alex and you to help me. I leave school forever on June fifteenth, if I can get through to then without people finding out then I'll be fine. Alex and I will be able to handle it together, I'm sure of it." I told her, my bottom lip trembling viciously with my words. I pulled away from my mom slightly and looked into her light brown eyes which bore into my own deeply, holding a look of heartbreak.
"You're just kids, Mitch," She sighed, running a hand through her long hair and effectively pulling it from the loose bun that it had been residing in.
"Ms. Munroe, may I say something please?" Alex piped up, her too standing from the couch and making her way over to us, squeezing onto the end of the small, two-person sofa, ultimately sandwiching me in between my mom and her. My mom nodded her head wordlessly, waiting patiently for Alex to continue. "I know that we're young and I know that the circumstances are truly horrific but despite all of the doubts that anyone may have, I'm head over heels in love with your daughter and I intend to spend the rest of my life proving that. I'm not viewing this child as the seed of a rapist and you shouldn't either. In my mind, this baby is ours, Mitchie's and mine, we're going to be a proper family and I will gladly spend the rest of my life fending and fighting to keep them happy." She recited the speech that she had mentioned to me before; from the minute we began discussing telling my mom she said that she was willing to fight for us.
"Do you love her?" My mom turned to me, somewhat ignoring Alex's long, well thought out speech. Briefly, Alex got a look of annoyance on her face because my mom seemed to be ignoring her but it was quickly wiped away as she snaked her arm around my waist and pulled me into her comforting embrace, resting her hand on my stomach once again, as if she was either protecting the baby or expecting to feel something.
"I love her so much, mom." I admitted quietly, breathlessly. I'd only recently accepted how strong my feelings for Alex actually were and in one day I had told not only Alex but my mom as well, after learning and then dropping the bombshell that I was pregnant. For the third time in a year it was a day full of admissions, which had pretty much never happened before. In that moment I realised just how much things had changed since we'd moved from Cali.
It took a while for her to say anything, probably taking in and accepting that her baby girl was actually in love with someone, not only someone but another girl, and was also carrying a baby at eighteen years old. "Okay," She whispered simply, not elaborating on it until Alex and I stared questioningly at her. "If you want to try this then that's fine but remember that whatever decision you make is the one you will be stuck with. After the baby's born there will be no going back and correct me if I'm wrong but I think you're already coming up close to the cut-off stage for an abortion. You have my support and you will have as much help as I can offer when and if you need it." She smiled supportively and slipped her hand into mine, entwining our fingers but making no attempt to pull me from my embrace with Alex.
It was like her final acceptance; her not pulling me from Alex this time, for the first time, was like her finally handing me over to someone else and allowing me to become someone else's. All my life I had been hers and her responsibility but now she seemed to be accepting that it was time to hand me over to someone else, so to speak.
I was about to become a mother and my girlfriend was going to help me. Despite the situation and how it had all happened, I was rather happy.
Okay, guys, I hope you liked this one! Ten for an update; you know the drill by now, guys.