Action is a crime against bureaucracy

by meldahlie

1997: The Ministry has fallen, Thicknesse is Minister, and Dolores Umbridge wants a spare pad of parchment. Resistance can take many forms. Some of them are even helpful.

3. Scorched?

Chapter 3: Scorched?

11.

Ministry of Magic Official Memo

Office Supplies Office; Level One.

FAO: Madam Umbridge

Thank you for contacting the Office Supplies Office. However, we regret that the frilly pink note you submitted is illegible, due to apparent scorch marks. If you wish to contact the Office Supply Office, please ensure your message is legible.

We will then be happy to help.

12.

Ministry of Magic Official Memo

Office Supplies Office; Level One.

FAO: Madam Umbridge

Thank you for contacting the Office Supplies Office. We are glad to be able to inform you that your request for one pad of plain writing parchment (A4, refill) is currently no longer suspended.

We hope this is of help to you.

13.

Ministry of Magic Official Memo

Office Supplies Office; Level One.

FAO: Madam Umbridge

Thank you for contacting the Office Supplies Office. We are sorry to hear that you waited all afternoon for the delivery of one pad of plain writing parchment (A4, refill) after receiving our previous memo. Due to Ministry regulations, we are unable to process requests suspended due to complaints until the full investigation has been completed, and the results communicated to all concerned parties. We will be forwarding the results of the investigation into your complaint about the service provided by the Office Supply Office in the matter of your request for a single pad of plain writing parchment (A4, refill) as soon as we receive them.

We hope this is of help to you.

14.

Ministry of Magic Official Memo

Office Supplies Office; Level One.

FAO: Madam Umbridge

Thank you for contacting the Office Supplies Office. We are pleased to be able to inform you that the results of the investigation of your complaint have now been returned to us. A copy of the investigation results is attached.

We hope this is of help to you.

15.

Ministry of Magic Official Memo

Office Supplies Office; Level One.

FAO: Madam Umbridge

Thank you for contacting the Office Supplies Office. However, we regret that the copy of the investigation results regarding your complaint about the service provided by the Office Supplies Office which you sent back to us is illegible due to scorch marks. If you wish to contact the Office Supply Office, please ensure your message is legible.

Furthermore, it is our regrettable duty to inform you that, due to Ministry regulations, we are obliged to add your Department to the Black List, for having submitted two or more incorrect or illegible communications to the Office Supplies Office. While we strive to be tolerant of mistakes, regulations are regulations.

We hope this is of help to you.