Chapter 6
Señor Senior Junior had been singing "The Ghost of Tom Joad" by Rage Against the Machine for a while now. On the minus side, the audience looked likely to rage against the machines…or specifically, the speakers onstage and the microphone he was holding. On the plus side, the backbeat was mostly drowning out his near-falsetto pitch.
Slipgate had been talking with Ron during the intermission about cooking, or specifically how you do it. Ron, for his part, thought he'd finally found someone more challenged in the kitchen than Kim had been back during Home Ec. "No, really, it's okay to simmer it for that long." he said with a smile.
Meanwhile, whitem had been talking with Kim, trying to gather what her reactions had been to various stories he'd thought up over the years. "About that story with Betty and you…" whitem asked hesitantly.
CajunBear and Sentinel had elected to spend their time with their characters and their drinks, though which was getting more of their attention was anyone's guess.
When Junior finished singing and bowed to the audience, a stagehand directed him where to go and another quickly cleared the stage of vegetables in various states of 'health' (none of which would be called 'fresh').
Sentinel noticed first that it was time for the intermission to end. He rose, excusing himself from a conversation with Wanda, and made his way over to the table with Kim, Ron, Slipgate, and whitem.
"Oy, your turn again!" he called out to them.
Slipgate stuffed a few Post-Its with various ingredients and directions he'd written down in his pocket and rose from the chair. Seeing him rise, whitem did the same. Kim looked perplexed as she watched them go.
Passing the confused countdown stagehand that had shadowed them all through the night, they came on stage, walked to the microphone, and looked out at the audience.
"We're getting into some meaty categories before our next intermission," whitem said.
"Yup. First up is the award for Best Action/Adventure. The Fannie for Best Action/Adventure goes to…" Slipgate joined in, then went to the table where the envelopes were kept.
Things took a pause as he unlocked the box they'd been kept in for the intermission and looked over the envelopes inside, putting aside any that weren't the category he sought.
whitem smiled at the audience as he realized they may have wanted to arrange this before they started speaking. He went to the table as well, only to see, with gratitude, that Slipgate was already arranging the different envelopes in the order they'd be needed for the rest of the ceremony. "Good idea," he whispered, and Slipgate just nodded as he kept searching.
Finally they found the envelope they wanted after all the other envelopes had been set aside, groaned, and whitem took it from Slipgate to tear it open.
After he looked inside, whitem looked up and announced, "the winner for Best Action/Adventure is LJ58 for Kim Possible: Rogue!"
LJ58 was jotting furiously in a notebook when he suddenly looked up at hearing his name. Realizing what had just happened, he closed the notebook, stuffed his pen in his pocket, and ran up while gripping the notebook tightly.
When he got on stage, he took the Rufus statuette from Slipgate with one hand and held it close while holding the notebook close with the other. He walked to the microphone like that and began his speech.
"First, thanks for the inclusion. I'm really happy to make the Fannies again."
People cheered.
"I always appreciate the feedback that tells me that the fans are enjoying my stories. When I actually make the list of nominees, or even the winners, it tells me I'm doing something right. So, thank you to all the fans that read, reviewed, and appreciated my humble talents. You have my heartfelt and genuine gratitude."
Suddenly his eyes flashed as if he had an idea.
"Now, I must go write down the nine to twelve different new ideas I just had." he said by way of apology, and dashed off back to his table with his award and notebook. Before people could blink, he was furiously jotting in the notebook again, with one arm draped across the notebook to keep it steady and that hand gripping the base of the statue so it wouldn't go anywhere.
whitem whistled a bit, and Slipgate looked envious. Even CajunBear and Sentinel shared a "Whoa" look with the two on stage.
"All right," whitem said, "congratulations again to LJ58, and now for our next award." He grabbed the necessary envelope and said, "Our next award is for Best Drama. Let's see who's in here, shall we?"
whitem opened the envelope and handed the slip inside to Slipgate. Slipgate looked at it and conferred with whitem in whispers while pointing at one spot on the slip. whitem shrugged and held up two fingers. Somehow Slipgate understood that to answer his question.
"The winner for Best Drama is the story Cloudy, with a Chance by Levi2000a1 and temporaryinsanity91!"
The two authors rose from their respective tables and strode to the same side of the stage. temporaryinsanity91 still looked stunning in her dress, but she seemed flabbergasted to be up there. She had a hurried, hushed conversation with Levi2000a1 when they got to the edge of the stage that nobody could hear, but after Levi answered, she seemed to give up and followed him up onto the stage – though she was watching her footing a bit more this time.
Both strode to the microphone, but when Levi2000a1 looked at her, she shook her head and pointed to him. He shrugged and turned to the audience.
"Just being nominated for 'the best' anything is always high praise, as I'm sure anyone can say. To win against such well written stories as were also nominated is an honor."
Claps arose from the other nominees.
"Cloudy is my attempt to put a different spin on several different types of well-written stories I've read here. Ron and Kim break up, Ron has a mental breakdown, and Kim made up with her family from something that happened in the past, but they never went deep enough for me. They never covered the pain people had to go through from both sides to try and get back what they lost.
"I certainly stacked the deck against all of them, but I hope I did it in a believable way so the readers could say, 'Yea. It 'could' have happened that way' while trying my best to keep the characters as 'true' to themselves as possible."
Again he looked to temporaryinsanity, but she leaned up to his ear and whispered, "Nope, I'm good. Thanks!" Of course, nobody else heard her. One wonders how you heard her. Yeah you, in front of the screen.
Shrugging again, Levi finished. "Once again, thank you."
Both authors approached the hosts. whitem handed the award to Levi, which he took happily. TI seemed to finally agree to a handshake from both hosts, and then both authors exited stage right.
Slipgate poured himself a glass of water as the audience returned to their murmurs. He offered another wordlessly to whitem, who at first shook his head, but then reconsidered, shrugged, and took one.
After a long drink, Slipgate walked to the microphone and began. "Our next category is Best Unlikely Story. This isn't a new category – it was kind of brought into the mix last year. But hell, maybe I'm feeling reflective here."
"The Kim Possible universe," Slipgate began, "is actually pretty darn flexible. Because it started out with some parodic intentions in the first place, there's a lot that it is genre savvy to and likes to tease. For example, in the episode The Fearless Ferret, Kim comments on how she doesn't get the whole superhero secret identity thing. Anyway, it's a pretty out-there show. They actually get sucked into a TV. They actually have good and evil personality reversers. They have an Adam West who isn't a mayor – almost like that isn't what he was originally known for. Kooky, right?"
Sentinel suddenly called back, "He was known for Robinson Crusoe on Mars!"
Undeterred, Slipgate shot back, "Don't you mean the Kini Popo Show, as Billy West Anderson with Peaches the chimp?"
Some people laughed. Some people decided their hosts were like, so old. Bonnie Rockwaller was one of these. "What-ever," she muttered as she flounced her hair. Next to her sat a martial artist wearing Chinese clothes and another big guy who seemed all smiles to see both of them at his table.
"Anyway… So it's kind of interesting to see this category…this one that's about stories that even this show wouldn't tell normally."
whitem grinned, but pointed at his watch and then the envelope he'd long since torn open.
"Oh all right. You take this one," Slipgate told him, sighing. He muttered, "Nobody listens," as he leaned back against the table and poured himself some more water.
whitem glanced at his co-host for a moment, but he seemed okay. Moving on, he pulled the slip out and announced, "Our winner for Best Unlikely Story is Way too Old School by Mr. Wizard! Come on down, sir!"
A man came rocking a full-chested Roman look, including epaulets. With him came a gorgeous redhead (not Kim) and a little one that looked proudly at daddy.
Giving off an image of Patrician propriety, Mr. Wizard smiled and began.
"Wow, I really didn't expect anything other than maybe the 'Will-You-Just-Finish-Already!' award for most slothful writing."
The audience laughed.
"Special thanks goes to King in Yellow, who has given me so much help regarding Brown, the inspiration for Miskatonic. It's the little touches that make fanfiction, and nobody does it better. And none of this would be what it is without my beta, Brother Bludgeon, who provided ideas, corrections, and three great chapters. Thanks, guys."
Both the named gentlemen rose so Mr. Wizard could see them giving him thumbs up.
"And to all the readers and reviewers, thanks, I haven't forgotten you. I promise to publish more. Thanks!"
With that, Mr. Wizard, and the Wizard family, strode back to their table. Slipgate managed to intercept them long enough so that he didn't forget to take his award with him. His child called his dad over and whispered something in his ear that got a big grin from the father.
whitem decided to lead off the next award. "Our next category is Most Unique Story. This is a new category this year, and I'm excited to see what happens with it. Without further ado,"
Suddenly Slipgate gasped. whitem turned to see that he'd opened the envelope while he was speaking to help announce the award, but now he was smiling. He beckoned for the microphone and, shrugging, whitem handed it over.
"Our winner for Most Unique Story," Slipgate began in a loud, cheery voice, "is whitem for Tara's Tome!"
whitem absorbed this for a moment, and then almost dropped, but managed to grab a nearby chair. Then he managed to raise one hand to catch the microphone suddenly tossed at him as Slipgate laughed.
Righting himself, whitem looked at the audience. He glanced at the slip in Slipgate's hands, but there was no mistake. Looking at the audience again, he began.
"First off, I will admit that I kinda wanted this category put into the Fannies. There are a number of stories out that that just don't fit in to any other category without using a very large shoehorn!"
He paused for laughter. Instead he just received blank stares and one person laughing. That person wasn't Slipgate, either.
He cleared his throat, then in a low voice said, "Guess the audience is a bit too young to get the reference. Oh well…" Unfortunately the microphone still picked up what he said.
Moving on, he continued. "I will also admit that I'm a little surprised that this story ended up winning. There were some other great stories in this category that could have easily won, so I would like to say Thank-You to all those that voted for my story."
whitem seemed to have nothing more to say, though he was beaming.
"We'll be back after another intermission," Slipgate said. "You youngsters can watch this video from YouTube of 'The Complete 14 Batman Window Cameos.'"
The hosts – even whitem – dispersed before the audience could make their ire known.
Timothy North took a drag on his cigarette as he watched with a smile. "Ungrateful punks, the lot of them."
To be continued…