New chapter obviously. As always let me know what you think! I am going to be away for about 5 days so I am going to try to get more up around saturday or sunday. I already have the next chapter written, i just need to remember to post it so if it gets awhile remind me. I really like that chapter.

xoxo Jules

review!

Chapter 30: "My time has come"

Ryans POV: "Johnny boy always played the fool"

Where is she? I don't see her. She should be here right? I mean, it's the first day of school, she's like SUPPOSED to be here! I thought that she would be easy to spot but nobody told me that Harbor Academy was full of so many girls on the border line of 6 feet with dirty blonde hair. My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest.

"Ryan," I heard a faint voice call from behind me, "Ryan HELLO"

Marissa? Of course not. My luck would never be that good. I turned to see Summer's bite sized hand waving in my face. Alex, Luke, and Seth all stood behind us looking concerned.

"Oh," I looked around again real quick. "what?"

Summer sighed at me, knowingly.

"She'll be here. If not today then tomorrow." She gave me a half smile "She's getting the help that she needs."

It was true. Marissa was getting help, getting clean, maybe this time away would be a good thing. Maybe she'll be okay when she comes home and we won't have to guess around about what's going with us. The dark circles under her eyes could be gone, and her features may not be as tragic. Maybe for once her eyes could smile with the curves of her mouth. But her freckles, those would stay.

"Yeah, you're right." I said nodding.

Just get better soon. Suddenly Alex broke the somber silence.

"What're you goons standing around here for! Come on, let's get this year started so we can get it over with." She grinned at us, her eyes twinkled.

A hand, Lukes, reached over my shoulder and yanked my schedule from my hand. He quickly scanned over my classes.

"Tough load Atwood, Calc AP in the morning." He tossed the schedule towards me

"Aw… me too." Seth groaned looking at his schedule.

Everyone laughed at Seth again.

"Oh yeah," He said grabbing Lukes schedule "what do you have first period?"

"Weight training!" Luke said snatching the paper back from Seth

Alex groaned as she slammed her tiny body into Lukes side.

"Typical jock schedule." She teased him.

So this was school. It didn't seem so bad. I had my friends which were, as I can tell, as much outsiders as myself. Here there is no way that students had guns, expensive party drugs sure, but not guns. I bet, unlike my other school there are enough books that six people don't have to crowd together under a window either because there are also no lights… I just wish Marissa were here.

Marissa's POV: "He broke all the rules "

"Cocaine users often go days without eating and if this behavior is continued it can lead to addiction"

I'm kinda worried. She hasn't had a fix in nearly a week, she's not looking too good. Sometimes people die going through withdrawal. If Marissa doesn't get into a detox center it will happen to her.

Her skin had lost all of it's color, mind the freckles, and her hands were pale and shaky. Her skin was clammy with perspiration.

"You don't look too good." I said feeling her head.

She was burning up… It looked like it took all of her strength to stay upright on the bench while her hands trembled. She had dark circles under her eyes.

"Cocaine will intensify the user's high and may cause violent and erratic behavior on the part of the user."

"Where are you going?" I asked chasing after her as panic raced through my body. I grabbed for her arm. She yanked it away from me with all the force of a sumo wrestler. I stepped back in shock wondering where all of the energy was coming from. Marissa was running on pure adrenaline. Her eyes became dark and glared into mine like a wild bull that was ready to attack.

I eased towards her backing her up against the side of the house. She poised herself to charge at me.

"Seizures"

Marissa was no longer making noises but she was flipping around violently on the bed.

"Other physical symptoms include convulsions, nausea, blurred vision, chest pain, fever, muscle spasms, and coma"

As suddenly as it began Marissa became still... her body was drenched in sweat as she relaxed back in her bed. A large gasp escaped her body.

"Other long-term cocaine effects include:

Addiction
Paranoia
Irritability
Restlessness
Auditory hallucinations
Mood disturbances"

I feel stripped, empty. It's like I have to start all over again from this drug induced world that I created for myself, or more distracted myself from.

"You alright kid?" I heard a soft voice say from beside me.

I tried to move my mouth but I was too weak. I had been in bedridden for over a week and a half with withdrawal. When Jimmy led me to the bathroom this morning I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I didn't recognize the ghostly pale girl staring back at me with the circles around her eyes and the invisible body.

Withdrawal had taken a toll on my body, more than anyone thought that it would. It probably had something to do with the fact that since I was conceived there was probably always something in my system. Sure they had some kind of pills that they forced down my throat five times a day to supplement what my body still really needed.

Jimmy had been there everyday. Sometimes I would wake up in the middle of the night and he was sleeping in the chair beside my bed as the night nurse stared holes into me. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's pretty much hell being here but I know that if I weren't there's a pretty good chance that I would be lying dead somewhere after an overdose.

So many times I thought about running away from the Cohen's just to get a fix. I don't know what stopped me, not that I'm complaining. Jimmy stroked my hair before. Nobody ever did that to me. I never needed to be comforted. After years of what I ha suffered with my mother I had just become so hard.

Sometimes when Jimmy is talking to me I imagine that I'm a little girl again and he's there, where he should be beside my bed comforting me as I fought sleep and my mom shot up in the background. It didn't matter though, she didn't matter. I was a little girl with her daddy and that was enough… until I snapped back into reality.

"It wont be much longer kiddo." He said again smiling warmly at me.

It was then that the doctor came in and smiled at my father and I, I mean Jimmy and I.

"Hi, how are you guys doing?" Dr. Carroll asked as she glanced between my father and I.

"Good." Jimmy turned around to smile at her in the doorway. I just nodded.

"That's good to hear." She said before turning to my father. "Do you mind if I talk to Marissa alone for a bit?"

Jimmy immediately flew to his feet.

"Yeah no problem." Then he leaned down and kissed my forehead. "I'll be right outside the door kiddo."

Dr. Carroll came and sat beside my bed. It took all of my strength to scoot upward to sit up.

"You're making very good progress Marissa." She smiled sweetly at me. That was really the last thing that I expected her to say. "How are you feeling?"

"I feel like shit." I blurted out. My voice came out in a croak. It was like my throat was habitually dry.

She smiled again at me.

"What do you think about going home sometime soon?" She proposed, once again to my surprise.

Getting out of this hospital would be amazing, but when I went home, to Jimmy's, I didn't want to fuck everything up.

"You think I'm ready?" I asked in a small voice.

"I think that you will be if you start trusting yourself."

I myself am not convinced that I myself am a very trustworthy…but I guess that's what she's saying the problem is.

"You're in a completely different environment Marissa. Sure the temptation will be there, it will always be, but it's not the same. You'll do fine Marissa."

I sighed

"If you think so."

"Now don't get me wrong, everything is no great yet. We will still supervise you at home. We actually have live in drug counselors that stay a minimum of a month. I think that that is a necessary step in this case. I have already talked with your father about all of this and he is okay with it all so long as you're comfortable."

Home. I couldn't wait to see my friends again. We never meant to get as close as we are. We were thrown together that day at Hartford House when I was dragged in kicking and screaming.

"That's sounds good."

All of my other friends had gotten better. Summer got confidence, Seth got family, Ryan got stability, … now I have to get clean and stay that way.

"I think it will be in your best interest for at least the next two weeks to have your school work sent to your home. You're still too weak to walk around and stand and sit for too long. This entire ordeal has put your body through a lot.."

I knew just what she meant. When I tried to stand it was like my legs were jelly, and one minute I would be hot and then the next I would be soaked in a cold sweat. My skin was ghostly pale. The tan that the California sun had given me is now a thing of the past.

"Yeah." I wanted to let her know that I was still listening. "So when do I get home?"

Later that same evening Jimmy drove me home. It was a forty minute drive and silent the entire way. The sun had set hours before and now the only cars on the road were the business men coming home from late nights at the office and men taking their teenage daughters home from rehab.

Jimmy helped me up into my bedroom where I laid awake. The like in counselor would come bright and early tomorrow morning which meant that I would be under constant eye. If I wanted to see Ryan this could be my last good chance.

I tried to raise myself from my bed, I failed. I tried again and again until I finally got a good grip of my bed post and positioned myself to my feet. I quietly crumbled to the ground.

Pushing open one of the double doors leading to the balcony of my room I scooted myself over to the stairs. It was then that I heard a voice behind me.

"Woah, woah!" It said in a hushed tone.

I turned around from where I cowered on the ground to see Rhett standing over me.

"Are you crazy!" He asked as he leaned down to help me up. "Come on!" He said as he wrapped of my arms around his shoulders and the supported the rest of me with an arm wrapped around my waist. I couldn't help but lean against him or I would fall. He led me back to bed.

I blushed as he looked at me.

"What are you doing crazy woman?" He asked playfully.

"I um…. Wanted to get some air?" I lied.

He smirked

"Right, so that window over there that's wide open isn't enough?"

I sighed, Rhett was a cool kid. He wouldn't rat me out. Besides, Jimmy never said that I couldn't see Ryan.

"I was going to see Ryan…" I finally breathed out.

"So what's up with you two anyway?" Rhett asked sitting on the foot of my bed.

"Nothing, we're just friends right I guess."

He nodded. I knew that he knew that there was more than that.

"I'll be right back." He said as he raised to his feet. "Stay put!" He ordered

I wondered what he was doing.

Rhetts POV: "So you would think he was cool"

Yanno sometimes I don't know why I do the things that I do honestly. I turned to make sure that Marissa wasn't looking as I slipped down the stairs and over the gate into the yard next to ours.

I saw a light on in the pool house. He was sitting there with his head in his hands, Summer, Alex, Seth, and Luke lounged in the room as well.

"Shit!" I screamed as I got caught in the bushes.

I yanked the thorns breaking into my legs as I ripped forward tearing my jeans and landing head first onto the pavement. He must have heard everything, or seen it I don't really know, cause in a minute I was being pulled from the ground.

"You alright man?" I asked to see Seth Cohen standing above me.

"I'm fine." I said as I grabbed onto his outstretched hand and he pulled me up.

"What you doing over on this side of the wall?" He asked

"Um, I was… well I was actually looking for you guys." I said as I brushed off my hands. "Marissa got home today. She wants to see you guys."

I glanced into the pool house where everyone was hanging out. Luke Ward was there, Captin of the football team, all together Harbor High icon, and subject of my every masturbatory fantasy. But that I keep to myself.

I 3 Rhett. I am planning on having him and Marissa get uber close or something like that. Anyhow, that was that.

The next chapter is basically the girls which is as nice change and the mention/emergence of old focal characters from this season although never mentioned in this story. Also a secret that both Marissa and Alex share that could bring them closer together.

READ ON AND REVIEW!

xoxo Jules