The 9th Annual Fannie Awards
Final Chapter
Now whitem was starting to feel nervous. There were only four more awards to go, and then this year's Fannies would be over. Well… the only real interruption we've had was the BeBe Bots' attempt at stealing the Rufus statuettes. If that's all that happens this year, then we were real lucky.
Not only was the middle-aged man nervous about the Fannies finishing up without any more problems, he was also hoping that he could get through the next award. When looking for the Best Writing Team award earlier, he had accidentally seen the results of the next award, which was for the CPNeb Kimmunity Award.
There were only a few minutes until the last music set by Bruce Springsteen was finished, and then they were due back on stage. He needed someone else's opinion, and there was only one person… or entity… that was available to him this late in the game.
Spying a janitor's closet, whitem slipped inside before anyone could see him, and as soon as he closed the door he quickly pulled out the J.A.R.V.I.S. II Pad and pressed the 'Help' icon.
"How may I be of service?" the unique voice of the computer system said, as whitem quickly turned the volume down.
"Jarvis, I have an… issue." he whispered, and quickly continued. "I inadvertently saw the results of the upcoming award, and I'm not sure how to handle the stress of having information that I shouldn't. What can I do?"
An icon of an arrow spinning in a circle like a dog chasing its tail appeared on the screen while the highly technological computer system worked on the issue at hand. "C'mon… c'mon!"
The pad's speaker then came alive. "The only solution I have is to delete said information that you speak of, thereby removing the core of the problem."
"I'm not a computer, Jarvis!" whitem said loudly, and then quickly silenced his voice a bit. "I can't just delete information from my brain. I'm human, not a machine."
Again the system icon representing 'thought' appeared for a few seconds. "The only other suggestion I have is meditation. If performed correctly, it can be quite effective."
whitem sighed and looked at the time. "Fudge. I'll have to do this in less than two minutes. Oh and Jarvis… one more thing. Search into who booked Junior, Please and Thank-you?"
"You're Welcome Sir, and good luck."
Immediately the host sat down on the floor and went in to what he called a 'Modified' Lotus Position (old knees and ankles). He closed his eyes and cleared all thought except for one. 'I don't know the winner.'
whitem repeated that phrase as many times as he could until he felt the Pad vibrate next to him as it warned of the time to enter the stage.
While standing up from his position on the floor, whitem gave out a groan as his ankle had stiffened up a bit. After gaining his balance, he went to turn the knob… and nothing happened!
"Great! I feel like Ron just before the Spirit Dance when she was with Monkey. I mean Mankey!" He looked all around the door while thinking. "I'm going to have to break out."
whitem stepped back a few feet, lowered his shoulder, and just as he was about to slam into the door it opened, causing him to fly out and stumble a bit, tripping over a chair in the process. Quickly righting himself, the beleaguered host looked around to check if anyone had seen what just happened. The only person around was Joe, the Stage Janitor.
"Thanks Joe." the host mumbled and walked toward the wing where he and Slipgate were to enter the stage.
…x x x x…
"What's up whitem?" Slipgate asked as his co-host appeared next to him. "You look… flushed."
He lied. "Umm…. Wardrobe malfunction. I never thought a skirt would be so hard to take off."
"It's a Kilt!" echoed from somewhere, but no one could see who had said it.
whitem had an idea who may have overheard, but just gave a small smile as he had a plan to get back at CajunBear and Sentinel for their penguin stunt before the awards.
For the last time for the year, our friendly mysterious stagehand once again appeared, seemingly out of nowhere and held up a hand counting down the last five seconds before the hosts were to enter the stage.
…x x x x…
After the two hosts walked up to the podium, whitem looked at Slipgate and asked away from the microphone, "You don't mind me doing the next one, do you?"
"No, not at all. In fact, I already picked up the envelopes. Here ya go." He then handed the correct one to his co-host.
"Thanks." whitem then turned back to the mic. "Well folks, the next award is near and dear to many hearts here in the Kimmunity. But first, I would like to give a little bit of history here and why we have this award. A number of years ago a writer burst on to the stage that was writing publish caliber work right off the bat. He had a very unique style that was easy to read, and the subjects he wrote about were not… how shall I say this… mainstream. But I don't say this in a bad way, as they made the reader think, laugh, and cry. And then start all over again."
"His main 'Claim to Fame' though was a pairing that no one had ever thought of: Joss Possible and Wade Load." Both Joss and Wade were in the audience, and they couldn't help but smile and hold hands just a little bit tighter. "He was also a great Reviewer, as well as a great friend to quite a few in the Kimmunity. One of his famous lines still resonates for so many… he described those of us he knew here in the Kimmunity as 'The best friends we've never met.' Some of us have met in person, but it's few and far between."
"The person that I am talking about here is CPNeb, or Neb, for short. Because of all he did for the Kimmunity, such as helping out both new and old writers, and just being an all-around great person, we have created this next award, The CPNeb Kimmunity Award. This award is given to the person who embodies what CPNeb stood for the most… Helping out the Kimmunity in general, helping individuals as well as offering to help in many other aspects.
"So… with out further ado… I give to you this year's winner for the CPNeb Kimmunity Award…" whitem fumbled a bit with the envelope as he thought back to when he had accidentally seen the winner. "… Slipgate!" Raucous applause immediately erupted from the audience. The host looked at whitem, and back at the audience. Taking a deep breath he approached his co-host and took the Rufus statuette that whitem was holding. Then he stepped up closer to the microphone and began talking.
"Hey all. So, I'm kind of one of the organizers of this thing, yet I've been given this award. First off I'd like to say that I really appreciate being given this award... I wasn't expecting something like this when I tried to get the Fannies back on track for last year's awards, or when I first created an account on FFnet four years ago just to be able to post reviews on stories that didn't allow anonymous reviews before I thought I'd write a story myself.
"I'd like to say thank you for the recognition this award represents, especially since I was in the company of nominees like CajunBear73 with all his reviewing of stories, whitem who has lately been the one actually taking on management of the KP Discussion Forum on FFNet, and CaptainKodak1 who is a very well-known author around these parts and has been for years. Then there's who the award was named after, CPNeb, to consider as well.
"I'll be honest and say that other than work on the Fannie Awards, I feel like I haven't done the other things that my nominator called out in a while. I rarely get to write reviews on stories these days, though I try to be constructive and substantial when I do... part of why they became less frequent I think. As of the time this ceremony is coming to a close, the last story I published was on June 7, 2012, the same day as the 'Kimvention' where I got to meet many of the writers of the show.
"I still remember being huddled over my laptop while staying with my cousin, having gotten back to his place after the Kimvention and hammering away at that story, tak tak tak, and just barely publishing it at 11:58 pm when midnight was the deadline. I also have done beta reading for some folks – Reader101w and purplegirl761 come to mind there, as does one of Pinky Jo Curlytail's stories – and I appreciate that they listened to my feedback. Don't get me wrong, they wrote their own stories, but there are little bits in stories of theirs that I really dig which I helped suggest. Anyway, I haven't really done beta reading like that in a bit, haven't frequently posted a review recently, and haven't published myelf since 2012.
"That isn't to say that none of those things might not still happen again in the future, but it's with that in mind that I say I'm very grateful to have received this award. Some of what got it for me is stuff that happened a million years ago in Internet time, but it seems people still remember. Of course, a large part of this, even to the kind person who nominated me, was my work getting the Fannies going again and working on them now. I'll be honest and say I'm not sure I'll be taking a big role in the Fannies next year. I may be involved, but I'd like to encourage someone else to take the lead. While I'll probably help, it's my hope that I might get to pull out some of the KP story ideas I came up with years ago and still haven't written out yet, and maybe review some stories again. So I may be stepping back from the Fannies but whether I am or not, it feels good people remembered stuff I did before, and I'm glad that I seem to have definitely done something with the Fannies that people appreciate… enough so that I'm getting recognized for it. Thank you all for your nominations, your votes, and your recognition. Here's to others getting this distinction next year! And here's to more KP stories coming out. Hopefully some of them will be mine."
Applause once again filled the large room, and whitem stood off to the side and back a bit with a big smile on his face letting his friend bask in the glory of winning a major Fannie Award.
The audience approval of the winner died down after a few minutes, and Slipgate handed the statuette off to the stagehand for safe-keeping until he could take it home. He didn't leave the podium as it was now his turn to present an award.
As odd as it was to be continuing in his role as host after a speech like that, Slipgate needed to finish out his duties as co-host of the ceremony. Making sure he had the correct envelope for the next award, the host handed it to his partner, who was a bit surprised at the action. He then turned back to the mic and continued.
"It feels like I was just here, talking everyone's heads off." he joked. There were some snickers. "There was a suggestion while we were gearing up this year's awards that one of the categories could be… well, a Kimmunity Achievement Award. This was a suggestion from ShadowDancer01, who we want to thank for his engagement with the process when we were figuring out what new categories we'd want this year or how to clarify previous categories."
There was polite clapping for ShadowDancer01, who sat in the audience not expecting something that he posted on a forum in April to be resurfacing in December.
Slipgate continued, "You might wonder how this differs from the previous award. Well, this one is kind of like a Lifetime Achievement Award. This award is for writers who have produced a consistent body of good work for years. Trust me when I say that I'm not eligible for that, as flattered as I might be about the award I received just before this one."
"So, ladies and gentlemen, who did your votes decide was the recipient of the Kimmunity Achievement Award? whitem, if you please?"
At first whitem was a bit surprised, but then remembered he had the winner in his hand. He popped the envelope open, read the result, and leaned in to the mic announcing "CaptainKodak1 is the winner for the Kimmunity Achievement Award!"
CaptainKodak1 rose from his seat, setting down his glass and hugging his family members sitting with him. He approached the stage, and warmly shook whitem's hand and then Slipgate's. Taking the statuette, he turned to the audience.
"Thank you for this very special award. The Kimmunity has been a part of my life for going on 10 years. I remember a lot of really good times and a few really bad times. I have gained many friends and have lost a few also. Commander Argus was one of the first that we lost. It was he, Zaratan and I who came up with the idea of the Kim Possible Fanfiction Awards, the very thing that we are celebrating tonight. I still remember that evening when I found that my friend had been killed while riding his bike. The next was cpneb, a fantastic writer and supporter of the Kimmunity. He too passed too early and his loss was felt deeply. Screaming Phoenix was lost also. A great writer and supporter of the Kimmunity. Many authors have come and gone over the years. MrDrP, Zaratan, MattK, G-Go, Jezrianna2.0, WesUAH, Classic Cowboy, and so many others. These are the writers who were the foundation that grew the Kimmunity to what it is today."
The captain took a breath and continued. "While there were many good times, there were also some bad times too. There were a few people who wished to control the Kimmunity and enforce their own ideas of Kim and Ron on all the others and woe be unto you if you disagreed with their ideas. There were many Flamewars, and for those who don't know what that is, flamewars are postings made on a forum that are direct attacks on persons. Some of these really got nasty. There were supposedly 'free opinion' forum sites that were supposed to support the Kimmunity but were only sites for the moderators to enforce their views upon others. I was kicked off or asked to leave a number of these sites when I spoke out against the moderators of these sites. One such site would not tolerate any discussion about the moderators on that site or any other site. The moderators actively searched other sites to see what was being said about them. If you said anything negative about them then they would kick you off their site. The main fighting point was that Kim and Ron would be together. Some believed that it was the greatest flaw of the entire show if Kim and Ron would get together. I, among many others believed the opposite, and that lead to many arguments and flames on forums."
"But not all was bad. The Kim Possible Fanfiction Awards were always the highlights of the years. Many authors gained the accolades that they deserved by the votes cast. The Kimmunity would always gather around those in need of support in the hard times of their lives. I myself received support in one of the most difficult points of my life. But I survived as many others did. We, the Kimmunity always supported and nurtured each other, sharing ideas and storylines, collaborating on stories and giving advice. This is what the Kimmunity is all about. I thank all of those in the Kimmunity for making this one of the best forums and groups of writers I have ever known. You honor me with this award. I thank you."
The loudest applause yet for the night erupted from the audience, as everyone showed their appreciation of one of the greatest in the Kimmunity. CaptainKodak1 stood there for a moment, taking in the experience. After a few moments passed, he then performed his well-known right hand salute and walked off the stage.
Both whitem and Slipgate walked back up to the podium still applauding, and the crowd slowly tapered off in both volume and fervor so the hosts could continue with the show.
whitem stepped up as Slipgate backed up a bit making room, and the former began to speak.
"Our next to last award is for the one story that stands out over all the others. It's for the story that a reader remembers long after they have finished reading. It's for a story that if you haven't read it, well then you probably should."
"This next award is for none other than the Best Story Overall." whitem fingered the envelope that held the winner, as he had picked it up just after the last one was announced.
"Sorry folks… I'm just starting to get a little nervous here. Whenever we get to these last awards I guess I just tend to get… anxious. Please don't get me wrong here, as all awards are important and hold equal weight. I think it's more of the fact that this means it's the end of another year. Another 365 days of stories is… 'almost in the books,' as the saying goes. So… without any further delay, the winner for Best Overall Story is…" whitem stopped and tore open the envelope. He read it before leaning into the mic and announcing, "…Kim Possible: Rogue, by LJ58!"
LJ58 walked up onto the stage and then to the podium, where Slipgate handed him the Gold/Titanium alloy statuette of Rufus. He then adjusted the microphone and proceeded with his speech.
"Wow, two awards for the same story. Without repeating myself, much, I say again thanks to all those readers out there that took the time to read, and make my story something special that stood out. I actually come from a long line of story-tellers, not all of whom were running from the law, and it's a tradition among our Clan to tell stories. So I feel my efforts are upholding the family tradition, and entertaining the masses. Well, those that are reading fanfiction. So, thanks again, thanks to the Award Committee, and now I really must get back to work. The ideas never stop coming, as some of you know. Tah!"
The crowd once again erupted into loud applause as the latest winner stood behind the podium holding up a small statue of a well-known naked mole rat.
Slipgate shared a meaningful glance with someone in the audience. Before whitem could tell who it was, he was surprised to find Kim and Ron climbing the steps of the stage and approaching.
"What's up?" he whispered to Slipgate.
"First, I've talked enough that people are going to be sick of me if I say much more. Second… this is a tradition… Kim and Ron present our final award of the night, Best Writer." Slipgate smiled and stepped back. He fetched the last Rufus statuette on the table and the last envelope. He presented the statuette to Kim and the envelope to Ron.
"Last year," Ron began, "I got to do the talking. Well, that was cool for me, but I think my lady deserves a turn." Quickly he stepped back and surrendered the microphone to Kimberly Anne Possible.
"Thank you to everyone for bearing with the long ceremony," Kim began. "It's amazing that, in real time, my show started so long ago that it's older than the tweebs. Thank you all who are still here, for either becoming recent fans of my show or staying fans all this time. It's been a tradition, with a few gaps, for Ron and I to get to present the Best Writer award. We're looking forward to it this year as much as we have any before."
At a nod from Kim, Ron tore the envelope open and passed her the slip inside. Kim read it and then announced, "The winner this year for Best Writer is… whitem!"
Kim turned to whitem and handed him his award. His fingers limply accepted the award, and once her hands were free Kim threw them around whitem in a quick hug. With a huge grin on his face, Ron immediately took the writer's hand and shook it vigorously before leaning in and giving him a 'man-hug.' Stepping over to Slipgate, Kim whispered to him as she smiled at whitem, who still seemed frozen. Slipgate nodded, shook Kim's and Ron's hands, and approached his co-host as the two heroes slipped away.
Meanwhile, Slipgate was putting an arm on whitem's back and gradually coaxing him over to the microphone. Soon his body unlocked enough that he made it the rest of the way himself.
whitem was still looking a bit dazed after the award winner was announced. To say he was stunned was an understatement, really. He stood there for a few seconds, not moving at all, until Slipgate finally gave him a nudge in the shoulder, causing him to finally snap out of it. As he fingered the statue in his hands, a visibly shaking whitem stepped up behind the microphone.
"I… I…" The older gentleman with shoulder-length hair (tinged with a smattering of gray) cleared his throat, and licked his lips. "Please believe me when I say I did not expect this. At all. I know I passingly mentioned that I wouldn't mind winning Best Writer in the Self-Promotion Thread on the Forums, but I never thought that I would actually… win."
"I sort of had in the back of my mind what I would say if I did win, but now all that has pretty much left my mind completely." whitem could be seen wiping a tear from one of his eyes. "The only thing that comes to mind right now…" He raised the small statue up high while looking up. "…I did it Neb. You always said I could, and I finally did."
He then looked back towards the audience. "I simply cannot forget a writing team that has always given me high praise that I didn't always think I always deserved, and that team was JAKT. If either of you are here, your Reviews are definitely a part of why I've kept writing, and I miss your and CPNeb's Reviews even to this day."
whitem then seemed to get a glassy look to his eyes as tears began to well up. "To all of the current folks out there that continue to read and review my stories, I couldn't have done this without you either. I would like to thank those that voted for me as Best Writer, and I will try to continue to fill the shoes of all the others who have won this award before me."
There was a lot of clapping in the audience. whitem noticed he heard some from his side though – more than he'd expect. He turned and found not only Slipgate clapping, which he expected, but Kim and Ron had simply gotten out of sight, and they stood there clapping for him too. His eyes widened and his grin widened to an impossible degree. Finally, as the clapping settled down, Kim and Ron actually stepped down from the stage and disappeared into the audience.
"Well…It's time to bring these Fannies to a close." Slipgate began.
"And none too soon, as we should probably start the 10th annual / 2014 Fannies nominating soon!" whitem said. He laughed, but then got a look in his eye and groaned, as did Slipgate and, from somewhere in the audience, CajunBear and Sentinel copied the sentiment.
"It's hard to know what to say here to make sure this doesn't feel like a sudden end," Slipgate admitted. "But the truth is we've talked a lot already. Especially me. There's one thing I'd like to wish, from the Fannies Committee, excuse me, Kimmittee… to all of you out there. Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukah, or another holiday, may you be able to use this time to reconnect (physically or virtually) with the people you love and those who love you… whoever they may be."
whitem jumped in. "And, because the year of 2014 is literally days away from ending as this ceremony ends, we can safely say to all of you, Happy New Year!"
CajunBear and Sentinel suddenly appeared on stage, as if invisibly summoned. The four hosts stood side by side and spoke together.
"We would officially like to declare the 9th Annual Fannie Awards a wrap!"
CajunBear tsked and spoke with an almost unidentifiable accent. "Good unison talking, very important in evil henchmen."
"And in co-hosts," whitem agreed.
"And in BeBes," Slipgate offered.
"Don't even joke about those metal maniacs," Sentinel warned.
As the hosts left the stage and the instrumental end credits version of the Kim Possible theme played, the curtains began to draw behind them and the audience clapped vigorously.
"By the way, guys," whitem said to CajunBear and Sentinel, "about those penguins…"
CajunBear and Sentinel got very worried at the evil look on whitem's face.
Very worried.
fin?
Epilogue…
"I knew it!" Wade said as he went over the results of a search performed by the J.A.R.V.I.S. II system. "Junior wasn't supposed to be in the program at all!"
He then started writing an email to Señor Senior, Senior.
It has come to our attention that you have paid a stagehand at the most recent Fannie Awards show a sizeable amount of almost 5 million tax-free dollars to get your son Junior onto the stage/show. The stagehand has been apprehended and the assets received have been frozen.
As a result of your actions, the frozen assets will be reallocated as a charitable donation to an organization of Team Possible's designation. Junior will then be sent to a school for the musically challenged, not be released until he can carry a tune.
A judge has deemed these actions un-objectionable, so please don't even think about it.
Yours truly,
Wade Load, FBO Team Possible
In finem, pro reali