Chapter 9: confessions part 2
Having calmed down Dean's body lay gently propped against Cas' side his head resembling a broken flower rested on comforting shoulders, long slender fingers were firmly entwined with their coarse counterpart in a grip that dared you to try and pull away.
"I have too many demons Cas", Dean said quietly.
"Don't worry I'll smite all of them for you, I'm an angel after all", slowly Dean raised his head, Cas turned slightly to meet his gaze.
"m'not not worth saving Cas", Dean mumbled, gently Cas fingers wiped away the tears trickling down Dean's cheeks, before slowly leaning in and pressing his lips to his forehead lingering, as Dean's eyes closed, savouring the feeling of those cold lips against his burning flesh setting his heart on fire, when Cas finally pulled away, he stared at Dean with an intensity and devotion that suggested he was more precious than the whole world.
"You should know that I would let this whole world burn if it meant you could have a moment of peace.. I would….I'd damn it all to hell", the passion in Cas' wild blue eyes stopped Dean's heart and he jumped into Cas' arms wrapping his arms around his neck in a vice like grip.
"Help me Cas...please", Dean murmured into the warm flesh of Cas' neck.
Dean's salvation started nice and simple with a warm shower and a meal, Cas prepared a luxurious breakfast and waited for Dean, pretending not to notice the way the droplets of water trickled from Dean's hairline to his jaw, seductively continuing down his neck before resting in the slight dip of his collar bone, and he definitely didn't ogle over the beautiful skin of his lower stomach when his shirt rose as he stretched, and his heart certainly didn't jump when Dean noticed his staring and winked.
And he positively did not forget to breathe when Dean leaned down and pressed his lips to Cas' flushed cheek, and he was not still trying to remember how to breathe because Dean hadn't moved away.
"Look at me Cas", wide blue eyes turned and gazed into the endless green.
"A-are you feeling better Dean", Cas muttered, trying not to fixate on the shape of Dean's lips as he smirked.
"do I make you flustered Cas", Dean asked in a low voice, Cas gulped, his traitorous eyes flickering to Deans lips, gulping as Dean's tongue slipped out and casually swiped across the seam, Dean watched with amusement as Cas' eyes dilated.
"n-no...no", Cas stuttered looking away nervously, Dean smiled.
"You're a bad liar Castiel", hearing his full name Cas blue eyes rose up to meet Deans forest of green, and he smiled his own little smile, completely mischievous and lacking innocence, slowly rising Cas leaned in leading his lips to Dean's ear where they hovered letting warm puffs of hair hit the skin.
"what about you...do I do anything to you", Cas asked in his low and extra gravelly voice, sending shivers down Dean's spine he had to bite his bottom lip to stop a small moan from escaping, he did however let out a breathy sigh when Cas' lips brushed against his ear. Thankfully Cas chose that moment to pull away deciding to watch Dean instead. Tilting his head he stared at him with a mixture of curiosity and amusement, noting his uneven breathing, the wide dilated eyes and the nervous way his Adams apple bobbed up and down. "I guess not", Cas said slowly before pulling away and getting back to his coffee, straightening up Dean cleared his throat. A comfortable peace washed over both men, as they gently sipped their coffee's before sweet words interrupted the silence.
"You make my heart forget how to breathe Cas", bright blue eyes looked up to meet a olive garden of warmth.
"Dean…." Cas asked hoarsely, standing slowly Dean walked over to Cas, reaching out he placed his hand on a pale cheek gently tracing the soft skin beneath his coarse fingers.
"From the moment I met you, I was lost , I never thought it was possible to like someone with every part of my heart, every part Cas…all of it", warm tears began trickling over coarse fingers, slowly Cas stood.
"Dean..." Cas called again
"Why are you crying Cas", Cas laughed a little at the concern in Dean's voice.
"because I'm happy, I'm happy", Dean laughed his other hand rising to cup Cas's other cheek leaning down he pressed his lips to Cas slightly chapped mouth tasting salty tears while feeling his own smile against Cas's lips, pulling away, he simply gazed into the sapphire ocean that were Cas' eyes .
"I think it's time I told you, why I'm the way I am", slowly Dean's hands fell from Cas face as he turned away, his brow furrowing in discomfort and pain, Cas frowned never wanting to see that expression on Dean's face ever again. Gently a warm hand grasped Dean's shoulder.
"You don't have to Dean, if you're not rea-"
"I'm ready Cas I want to tell you, I need you to understand", Dean interrupted gently, his hand finding their way to Cas'.
"Okay Dean…if you're sure", they sat on the sofa, hands clasped tightly for a while, taking a shaky breath, Dean glanced over taking in Cas' apprehensive expression coupled with the warmth in those cerulean eyes, he smiled feeling a little more at ease.
"I grew up in a small town Cas, a place where everyone knew everyone and their business, my mother died in a fire when I was about 4, I don't remember it clearly, just that it was really hot, my dad didn't handle it well, being a cop didn't help, he became stricter and even more distant, I always got the feeling he hated me a little, couldn't blame him I looked too much like mum, but Sammy was different, he had mums temperate and personality without having her face…so I think it was always easier to love him than...me", Dean paused, Cas squeezed his hand.
"Go on", Cas encouraged.
"It didn't take my dad long to become the sheriff, I was so proud of him, I admired him and wanted to be just like him, Sam was the academic type so he wasn't really interested in police work, I would often go on police rides, I even rewired our family radio's frequency to pick up the police radio, and every now and then dad would take me to the shooting range, everything was going great and the it seemed to get better. I met Lisa and it was like bam, I decided she was the one… we dated all through high school, and when I graduated I got accepted to the police academy…the next few years were great, me and Lisa got married, Sam went off to Stanford to be a lawyer, my dad was proud of me…", Dean paused taking a shaky breath, he searched for the strength to keep going.
AN: I'm sorry there seems to be large gaps between updates, I will definitely finish this, I know what it's like to start a story and then have it abandoned, anyway I wrote the whole back-story but it's too long for one chapter so, I've broken it into two, the second part will be uploaded in a day, also thank you for follows and reviews they are much appreciated and really keep me going so thanks