Thanks goes out to my cousin for helping my bunches! I'm sorry it took so long, who would have guessed that an infant could give you a cold? O well, i guess my immune system sucks. On to a more interesting topic: I made some major changes and am much happier with it all, hope you appreciate all the hard work that went into this chapter.
- 3- Daidallein
Ch.5
JPOV
We faded back into the woods leaving the leaches alone on the dirt road. Sam wanted to run a quick circuit to secure our borders incase Bella came back. Normally I would have argued saying Bella wouldn't do that, but I'd been put down by her more than once lately; she wasn't Bella anymore.
The redwoods glided by as our pack moved as one body, swerving in and out of the large trees. No light peered through the canopy due to the storm that had finally decided to unleash it wrath upon us. However we were protected from the bitter pelting of its rain by the sturdy branches and leaves above. Closing my eyes, I could hear Embry and Paul on either side of me and could smell the purity of the rain bathing the surrounding forest. Bella would have called this beautiful, laughing slightly I imagined what I would obviously say, "Only because you're here," she would have laughed shyly and turned a brilliant shade of crimson.
But, she was gone; I saw the hate in her eyes on the road. I had given her one last chance for forgiveness; all she had to do was accept and I would have protected her from my comrades. But no, instead she saw my peaceful demeanor and met it head on with her own cat like hiss. Those red eyes glaring back at me, hungry for blood. How juvenile of me to think that as a leach she could retain her goodness.
I hated the bloodsuckers, all of them; the hate I had held before all of this was laughable to what I felt now. They had taken my Bella from me and for the rest of eternity her body would forever haunt me as one of them.
Embry whimpered beside me, following with his thoughts, "I'm sorry it had to turn out this way, Jake. Don't worry when they bring Bella back to us we'll set things straight. Bella won't have to suffer anymore, you'll see."
The rest of the pack began to yelp mournfully as we forged on, feeling my pain as I did.
BPOV
The murky gray haze surrounding me longed to pull me under its crashing current. I would not have it, rotating my arms and kicking with my legs I cut through the ocean's bitter attempts. Marveling at how quickly I swam along the coastline, not disturbed by the rushing tides and under current. I had discovered that there was no need to breathe, it came to my attention after I dove into the water and never once felt the urge to resurface for breathe. Being whatever I was, was really pretty fun as long as I avoided humans.
My mind drifted back to Edward standing alone on the cliff; desperate to follow me, letting the wind tousle his short locks. How could he be so driven to me, as if we had shared a whole other eternity together? And like wise for me; why was I feeling this raw tugging at my heart every time I thought of him? His family too, they had all seemed familiar to me in some way. I could picture in my mind the looks that they had all given me, knowing yet curious and surprised.
A torturous pain slashed through my head, wincing I closed my eyes and saw before me a room full of humans. Oh, no I don't want to kill anyone what was I doing here? I waited for the thirst to overwhelm me, but I never felt the need for blood; in fact I could feel something pulsing in the center of my own chest. Relief flooded me and I allowed the paused scene before me to continue.
I sat next to this girl who jabbered on, while feeling particularly uncomfortable. It felt like everyone was watching me; and they were. My attention was drawn elsewhere at that moment; I pulled my eyes up to a table across the room from me. My gaze was met by five pairs of curious expectant eyes. They were all alike: marble white skin, golden irises, and none of them had eaten any of this human food. The breath caught in my throat and my face burned with embarrassment as I quickly looked away. I couldn't help but wonder why they were all staring at me, ending the memory.
I couldn't get that last image of the way those same five pairs of golden eyes had analyzed me. My head ached from the strain of my memories, but still I wanted to know. Something was obviously happening and I was clueless; I needed help, but who could I turn to? No matter how kindly they looked at me how could I trust them? After all, that wolf had seemed sympathetic for a moment, but had only followed it with a deathly attack.
What was I going to do with myself, I was obviously hallucinating. Since when could I sit in a room full of humans without going crazy, and right now I couldn't feel anything beating in my chest. It must be the salt water getting to me, turning towards the shore I made my way onto dry land. What a mess I was becoming.
The waves drummed lullingly against my ankles as I emerged from the surf, gazing at the rocky beach between myself and the cliffs. Light from the moon above cast a white sheet onto battered cliff wall. It sort of resembled my own skin, just less smooth.
Moving gracefully onto the pebbles, my clothes squished soppingly against my skin. The noise produced could most definitely be heard by anything or anyone nearby. This problem must be fixed; I wanted to be invisible to everyone and everything.
The landscape up on shore was slightly different then that of the village. The trees weren't quite as dense and the wind was more dry and fierce, twisting my hair up with it. A dark sky concealed my form from any wandering eyes, but who would want to come out at this time of night? However I was learning fast not to make assumptions in this way.
First I would need shelter, and then I could devise a plan to get some new clothes. Scaling the rocky cliff was easy, but how was I suppose to find shelter, its not like safe places gave off any particular smell. My eyes scanned the dark trees ahead; maybe I'd just have to claim the forest until I found something better. Yes, the forest would have to do.
After passing into their realm of darkness, my posture eased up a bit. There was no need to have to be completely on guard in such a distant place as this, I must be miles from where I jumped. There for it would take a while for anyone to catch up to me.
A little reminder of what I was popped into the present mind as the demon with in me demanded to be fed. Seeing no reason to deny my thirst, I moved forward into a crouch along the mossy dirt floor. All sorts of smells floated by, but none of them seemed worth my time or energy. Meandering a little deeper into the woods my senses caught a trail from a large beast. It smelt musty and large, this would be satisfying enough. Following its trail as silently as I could, trying to avoid letting my legs or arms rub against any other parts of my body, a rush of excitement coursed through my limbs. This would be my first large predator, would it be hard to take down or taste better than herbivores; after all they consumed blood from other animals, too.
Along the path there were indents in the ground where the creature had stepped, fresh prints. He couldn't be that far away, my pupils began to dilate as I let go of all restraint, purely enjoying the sense of wholeness. My anticipation for the dinner that was nearby left me careless. While quickly scurrying up behind a tree and ducking behind its large roots, my clothes slid together and yielded the softest of squeaks. I looked ahead to where the bear sat alert, aware of my presence due to these salty wet clothes I wore. He stood up on his back legs and let out a gruesome roar, calling me from my hiding spot. The branch he had been chewing on dropped, tattered, to the ground.
Cautiously I peered over the side of the root, glancing at the animal before me. A bear, I realized. Accompanying this realization, I felt a slight pang in my forehead. A far off melodic voice whispered, "Grizzly is Emmett's favorite." A familiar feminine voice I recognized as my own followed, "What's your favorite?" The former musical voice cautiously responded, "Mountain Lion."
My eyes searched wonderingly for the source of these voices, knowing all too well where they came from. Could the scene from when I was swimming and the voices now all be memories? Oh, well I had more important things to take care of at the moment than pondering odd memories.
Focusing back to my prey, I transitioned to a standing position letting the bear gaze at the one that wished to take his life. Gazing into my eyes the bear realized he had been mistaken in his challenge. With a large shudder he descended back to all fours, shaking his head in defeat. He backed away, acknowledging I was much more dangerous than him. Adrenaline was being pumped to all his limbs by his frantic heart, causing my prey quivered in fear. The bear's blood grew too tempting to resist any longer and I ended this cruel suspense I was laying upon him. Once again the warm, moist blood soaked my dry mouth, satiating this mad thirst that consumed me. The fur, around the gash I had made, matted with blood; smearing it all over my cheeks and chin. Strands of my own hair fell across my face, mixing with the mess I was creating. When I couldn't drain anymore blood my teeth urgently bit a different part of the corpse, desperate to keep draining his life. The bear was no more and I was sustained for the time being. I felt like a monster, but at least I wasn't a monster that used humans, or at least I didn't want to be.
My clothes emitted a terrible ripping sound as my body slid against a nearby try to the ground. They were practically rags, not to mention the places that had begun to dry were already stiff with salt. I must have ripped them during the fight with the wolves. Finding a now outfit was now a necessity, but if I couldn't be silent in this one how was I suppose to go about it? An idea came to mind, but was dismissed almost immediately, I wasn't going to romp around naked, how awkward. A small voice argued back, "It's better than being detected and anyway you're only doing it to get a new set of clothes." Oh what the hell, like anyone would see me, I would be fast.
I began to mull over ways to acquire my new clothes while sitting against the tree, my back to the recent meal I'd devoured. Obviously killing a person and removing their clothes was out of the question. I'd have to find one of those human dwellings, perhaps I could find something there. Reflexively jumping up at this decision and my nose finely traced the faint scent of human, only noticeable if you were searching for it; immediately setting out to accomplish this new mission. The ground moved numbly underneath me as I practically glided towards civilization. Passing tree after tree, I wondered how anyone could navigate their way through this forest without a keen sense of smell.
It all seemed too easy, I thought to myself as the trees began to thin out. The sun was rising in the sky above, drawing the last bits of moisture from my now stiff shreds of clothing. Annoyance got the better of me as I allowed my hands to rip them clean off, running only in my bra and panties. (awkward turtle . ) The breeze on my skin sent a shivery wave through me, this would be more exciting than I had imagined. I wondered what someone's reaction would be if they saw me. The houses lay just ahead, but the flaw in my perfect plan revealed itself as I retreated back a ways, away from the call of human blood.
"Well what am I going to do now?" sighing deeply, my legs relaxed to allow my body to slide to the ground once again. This was most definitely a problem. How could I resist human blood? Even at this great distance the demon was barely containable. Oh, maybe this isn't such a bad thing; just one sip, sort of a snack if you think about it. "NO!" I yelled out loud at the inner beast. Of a ways, a few birds flew startled from the trees. Great now I was talking to myself, would it be like this forever?
A door slammed in the distance and an engine starting shortly followed. Sniffing slightly, along with the new fumes of burned gas I smelt one less person in the house. That was it, I'd just have to wait for all of them to leave; it couldn't take that long. Humans did leave their houses for long periods of time, didn't they? Until then I'll just wait here, no worries. On the other side of the windows, the mom bustled around rushing to get her children ready for school
Lying on the ground hidden by the shade of the nearby trees and tall grass I found myself pondering just where Edward was. "No matter how much I try not to, you're always on my mind Edward. Why is that?" My voice was a mere faint whisper as my lips buzzed to form the words.
Closing my eyes, I imagined that Edward was next to me and that we were just lying together. I yearned for his presence and most of all, his cool breathe on my skin. Keeping my eyes closed, his lips pressed against mine while his fingers traced tiny circles along my cheek. A glorious rush of emotions escaped and my hair stood on end at his touch. By now I was falling deeply into my imagination, I could hear his breathe next to me and feel his loving gaze watching over me. "Bella," a voice whispered in my ear. Was someone really there? My eyes popped open looking around the field. But there was no one, I was alone. I guess I disserved being tricked for letting my imagination run wild over a complete stranger. The feeling of his soft touch lingered on my right hand. My other hand absent mindedly traced a crescent shape that was barely visible. Curiously I brought my right hand closer for further scrutiny. It was amazingly a shade whiter than my already white skin, what could it be?
Once again, as if the memory was literally being cut free, a pain burned in my head. Scenes from long ago seeped into view: a field with that family of golden eyed vampires standing protectively in front of me. Three more came from the woods, one was a woman with fiery red hair and like me they all had red eyes. They stalked cautiously towards the eight of us and the leader humbly addressed the father figure of Edward's coven. I remember being nervous and wishing I was far away from here with Edward where I wouldn't be in danger. When the breeze ruffled my hair, the three turned hungrily towards me. Once again there was that fierce beating in my chest, only this time it was practically one consistent hum.
At these turn of events Edward growled, or more like roared, at the less dominant male who was intently searching for a path that would lead him to me. The sound rumbled from Edward's chest and resonated in his throat. The noise reminded me what it was like to be completely and utterly helpless, knowing that if it wasn't for Edward standing there I would be completely unable to defend myself against this creature that resembled what I was now. The scene faded, allowing me one glimpse of the field I sat in before once again the searing agony dragged me into yet another past event.
Running desperately along the blinding pavement, barely able to keep my feet under me, I was anxious to reach somewhere. Terror haunted me, but not for my own life. I was remembering, I had a mother and her life was perilously on edge. For my mother, that is why I ran, that is why when I tripped and scraped my hands I could get up and continue. If I could have cried then I would have, but the memory wouldn't allow me the time to reminisce plus I couldn't cry, I was a vampire. Back in the memory, my hopeless run brought me to a small building where I entered. I remembered being shocked and relieved when James informed me that my mother was safe, but knowing all too well that it was my life that was in danger all along. As if I was reliving the moment all over again a sickening snap sent pain shooting through my shin and ribs; and the stinging slice of the glass pierced my scalp as the mirror shattered on my head. All followed by the fiery burning of James's teeth nicking my hand.
However, I was saved by Edward and his family before James could do anymore damage. That's how I was alive and had this scar; Edward sucked the venom from me. So then Edward and his family were my protectors? But why would they want to protect me, was I related to them? I still couldn't classify the gnawing ache in the same place that the pulsing had occurred during my memories. They were trying to get something across to me, but what? I wish I knew why I longed for Edward so much, is because he protected me the reason why we were so close?
"Mom, I call front seat," some distance off the rest of the humans were leaving the house I wished to enter. The little girl was fighting with her teenage brother over the front seat. How odd humans were, if I could stand being near them I would definitely spend my time watching their amusing antics. They all pilled in, shoving each other, while the mom chastised them about being late. She turned the key, encouraging the large vehicle's engine to grumble to life. Shifting into reverse, they pulled out of the driveway, off to where ever they were headed.
Almost giddy with amusement, I skipped towards their house. It was a two story like the last one I was in, just a different lay out. There was a body of water behind their house and the word pool came to mind. Surrounding this pool was a path that winded through landscaping towards a set of fragile French doors.
The back door was locked when I giggled the handle, being careful not to break it. Not wanting to leave any evidence of my entry I grabbed onto the edges of the bricks coating the outside of the house and scaled the wall up to the second story window, which was luckily for me unlocked. As I hopped into the vibrant room, a small image of Edward jumping through a window into my own dark room at night played before me. I felt so warm and fuzzy at that moment. Edward jumping through windows made me happy; I'd have to keep note of that.
Laughing to myself at my absurdity, I headed across the room to where I instinctively knew to look for clothes. The room was painted all pink with tan carpet and white furniture. Was I in the correct room? In the center of the back wall was a small twin size bed with a pink cartoon flower print comforter. The air of the room resembled that of a child's. Not wanting to make decisions based on room décor I proceeded towards the twin doors on the opposite wall.
Opening the white closet doors my hands searched through the hangers of tiny clothes, much too small for me. Well that was inconvenient. Trying not to feel deterred by this minor set back, I made my way back across the little girl's room and through another door into their hallway. This house kept bringing up little flashes of what my old house was like, slowly putting the pieces together to finish the puzzle.
Across the hall was a room that looked very messy compared to the later, but the clothes on the floor seemed more my size. Walking in through the open door I glimpsed posters of rock bands on a plane white wall. The furniture appeared to be collected over the course of this human's life; a nightstand one year and a dresser the next. The black bed had a heap of clothes pilled across it. Curiously I dug through them pulling out a pair of jeans and a shirt. Hastily I slipped them on and peered in the nearby floor length mirror.
The creature before me modeled a pair of jeans that threatened to fall off her hips and hung a little too baggy in the front, not to mention the pant legs were too long and smothered her feet. The shirt hung pathetically where her shoulders failed to fill it out and had a picture of some popular movie poster on the front. These boy's clothes wouldn't do, too much noise. What I needed was something tighter that would stick to my skin and preferably be intended for my gender.
Annoyed with the family's inability to aid me, I tossed open dresser drawer after drawer finding nothing. I wasn't giving up though, so I sorted through all the clothes on the tan carpet. Luck finally graced me with its presence when I discovered a pair of tight shorts and a simple low-cut female T-shirt. Along with these garments was a pair of slutty underwear and bra. Bless the lord for horny teenagers, where the girl was that occupied these clothes I will never know or want to know. However I had no need for the underwear, I'd just take the shorts and shirt.
Leaning over to grab my clothes my blood crusted bangs fell across my face. They disgusted me to the extent that I ached for a warm soapy shower. Well while I was here I might as well clean up some.
Following the smell of water, my senses lead me down the hall to the bathroom. Their bathroom made me smile again, the mother had obviously decorated it for her son when he was much younger long before they had acquired a second child. After placing the clothes on the counter, I let the warm water wash away all the dirt and grim from my body. This was another thing I remembered, so reflexively I grabbed the shampoo and began washing myself as I always used to. The shower didn't feel as good as it had in my former life, but I was grateful for the memories this house was bringing back to life. It was comforting to know that I had once lived in a home like this and had a family, but I longed to have it all back knowing it could never be.
Distracted by the warm steam of the shower I hadn't noticed the mom had returned until the front door slammed shut and she called upstairs.
"Hello, John is that you honey?" her voice seemed to tremble slightly. She must be hearing the running water that the shower was pouring onto my wet skin. Panicking I twisted the knob, turning of the water, but also ripping it off in the process. Startled by my mistake I dropped the knob in the shower, emitting a hollow clunking sound that could be heard downstairs.
The mother's heart rate accelerated, distracting me to the point where all I could hear was the flow of her blood. Her worried calls from below me were drowned out by the luscious pumping of her heart. How her blood would taste trickling across my tongue and down my throat. I would end it quickly of course, she would feel nothing. Mentally slapping myself for even considering taking this family's mother from them, my will fought for control against the blood lusting demon. Getting away from here would be necessary for her survival, I had to leave. Just the thought of moving almost made me lose control, though. All my concentration was bent on holding back, leaving my venom to trickle out from the corners of my mouth and down my chin.
"Oh, please don't come upstairs to check on me. I'm not that strong, I won't be able to help myself." I quietly willed to the mother. Downstairs, short quick breaths struggled to supply the mother's beating heart with oxygen. I could hear her punching numbers into a phone and her quivering voice as she acknowledged that her husband was at work and not in fact upstairs.
Pooling the rest of my energy together I combated my demon and threw on the clothes I had collected. With out one more hesitation I shot across the hall slamming through the doors and out the window. Back at the house I heard the mother hit the floor, fainting as she could only see the doors breaking open and not me as I ripped through them.
Once out of the house I didn't dare to stop until my demon settled down. Even though I could no longer smell her I remembered the temptation and knew she would still be their, fainted. How close I had come to taking another life, and one that would break others hearts if it was lost. By now the sun had risen directly over head but remained hidden behind a shroud of puffy clouds.
The last threads of unyielding thirst drained from my demeanor after I had traveled at least three miles. I had gone so fast that everything was a blur and I had no idea where I'd ended up. Not worrying too much I sprawled into the grass of a small thicket. Once again closing my eyes and enjoying the freedom I had from my monster at that moment.
It had come close that time; I guess I was lucky that I had consumed that entire bear before venturing into the house. From now on I would make sure to be good and full before going anywhere near humans. They were so fragile and I couldn't clear my conscience from the overwhelming guilt of their deaths that plagued me.
At that moment in time I wished that Edward would protect me against myself, if he was my protector wouldn't that qualify as something he could do? Falling back into thinking of Edward, lost memories poked teasingly at me, lingering so that I knew of their presence, but had no access to the knowledge they provided. I concentrated intently on these little threads of hope, grasping for more. As if sensing my desire the treacherous thoughts sidled farther out of reach. Admitting defeat I let go of my fruitless efforts and opened my eyes to where the sun should be. A small gap in the clouds inched closer to the bright mass. At first a few rays escaped their cloudy prison and floated across the dull thicket, startling me as they passed over. Like light on water, a shimmer rippled across my skin with the wandering rays. For a few short minutes following, the sky opened to the wondrous sun who gladly bathed me in light. Reflecting the dazzling light, my skin resembled millions of tiny diamonds.
Flickering like the light that passed over me, visions of my past released themselves. Edward and me in a meadow much like the one I was in now. His skin glimmered just like mine, he lay perfectly still as I curiously examined him for the diamonds I believed to be imbedded inside him. It was so simple and sweet; here we were together sharing a moment very foreign to this knew creature I had become.
While stroking his hand he peered up into my eyes, however this time they searched hungrily into mine. His velvet voice vibrated lazily past my ears, "I'm the world's best predator, aren't I?" and then he was gone, at the other side of the field. Edward proceeded in showing me the speed at which he could run, not practicing any restraint; pausing only to whisper, "as if you could out run me." He had circled the meadow so fast it appeared that he had only taken a step to the side. A tremble trickled down my spine as I imagined myself failing to escape him. (Twilight, pg.263-264)
This monster in front of me continued with his threatening display, tearing off a 2 foot thick tree branch and sending it splintering into a nearby redwood to visibly display his power, "as if you could fight me off." His smile spread greedily across his face revealing the sharp razors within, only feet in front of me. Edward's eyes blazed with rash excitement, seeming to debate the choices of the situation. Could this be where I was changed? The last feeling I had of his whole display, before my memory closed, was of confused awe. (Twilight, pg.264)
Why had Edward, my guardian, threaten me like that? Was I mistaken about him and his family? I yearned to know what happened following this glimpse of the past. Had Edward been the one to change me? I had so many questions, but no one to answer them.
Staring blindly into the now cloudy sky I pondered the answer to one final question. Why had Edward and his family returned for me? Had someone or something kept Edward from finishing me before as a human and now he and his family were back to finish what he started? The grass swayed lightly against my shuddering figure abiding the wind's gentle lulls through the thicket.
All I wanted at this moment was someone to hold me tight and keep my inside from falling apart. I wanted someone like me so at least I wouldn't be completely forlorn.
EPOV
Alice's visions were taking place somewhere in Canada. So that is where Carlisle was headed to. Sitting in the backseat of the black Mercedes, my thoughts couldn't leave Bella.
The entire time I was gone Bella had struggled day by day to keep on living. In my pursuit to preserve her human life I only made it harder for her. Alice had used the word "zombie" while describing what she had seen of Bella after I left. I had pressured Alice multiple times on this road trip to show me, but she said it would only hurt me more.
Bella if only you knew that I never stopped loving you, I always have and always will. It was so hard to avoid coming back to Forks and not grovel at your feet for forgiveness; to beg you to take me back. What I said about not wanting you to come was only a lie; I said it for your benefit. I even hoped that you would see right through me and deny all the lies I claimed.
Oh Bells, if only you could hear me now. I long to hold you in my arms and tell you all the mistakes I have made. I want to tell you that I am yours forever, until the end of eternity. We could pick up the pieces and repair each other together.
Well, I'll be able to get the next chapter out faster if i get some sort of response from all yall readers. Thanks to the few that did give me some questions to answer and pointers for this chapter! D