Disclaimer: See initial chapter.
A/N: Craziness ensues; I did warn you, right? Sorry if this isn't quite what you were all envisioning. I do like the idea of Danny being dunked in milk...perhaps I can make that a nightmare after the fact.
"Why is it so c-cold?" Danny asked. "It's snowing marshmallow fluff, not the big, white snowflakes I grew up with. I could use a coat, an industrial sized umbrella, anything."
"I know, Danny," Steve said. He brushed a glop of marshmallow fluff off of his shoulder and frowned as it plopped onto the ground. "We could all use something."
"I don't know what you two are complaining about," Kono said through shivers that made clumps of the white fluff fall from her shoulders. "I don't see you two in swim trunks."
"It's not like my gumdrop buttons offer much protection from the elements," Danny countered. "I don't see what the big deal about them is. Lord Farquaad can take all of mine if he wants them. Just as long as he helps us find a way out of this godforsaken place. I swear, if I step in another pothole filled with marshmallow fluff, I'm going to lose it."
Steve grunted, and kept walking, head down, shoulders pitched forward. Chin remained mute, simply putting one rounded foot in front of the other. He kept his thoughts to himself, uncertain of what to say, or how to put his thoughts into words.
None of this made any sense, and he was hoping that, any moment, he'd wake up and find out that this was some very odd and elaborate dream courtesy of an overindulgence in alcohol. He didn't drink to get drunk often, but maybe he'd really outdone himself the night before, and was now reaping the bizarre benefits of it.
"You know that, once we get back, provided that we can get back, we're going to have to make sure that nothing like this happens again," Danny said, seeming to need a steady stream of conversation. "Which means that we'll have to find Maui Tawhiri, and his Uncle Lono. Provided they haven't disappeared into thin air." Danny waved the hand that wasn't holding the licorice gun as he spoke.
"Don't you worry, we'll find them," Steve said, voice a low growl.
Danny laughed and shook marshmallow fluff off his face. "According to a book that Grace was reading about Hawaiian legends, Maui is a trickster god, and Tawhiri is the god of wind and storms." Danny snorted and pointed one rounded hand toward the sky which did look rather windy and stormy, albeit with a multitude of dark colored candies.
"And Lono is one of the four original gods. He's considered to be the god of fertility, peace, rainfall and music, among other things," Chin finished, mouth turned downward and dark eyes rounding to miniscule dots of icing that were barely visible.
"Danny, what did you do to piss the gods off this time?" Kono asked, turning toward the gingerbread version of her friend who was trying to shake a glob of marshmallow fluff off of his foot.
Danny scowled at her, the blue icing of his eyes and the red of his mouth becoming thin lines in his anger. "I didn't do anything," he said, muttering almost beneath his breath, "this time...that I know of..."
"This time I think the blame can be laid squarely on us all," Chin said, thoughtful. "Remember the last case that we had?"
"The one involving the drug cartel?" Steve turned toward Chin, eyes lighting up expressively.
Steve had always worn his emotions on his face, in spite of trying to keep them tightly closed off, but now they were even more animated, the icing making everything much more dramatic than it would have been otherwise. Danny, and the others, wisely said nothing about how the icing of his eyes widened, and a little asterisk of white sparkled in one of them. It was rather adorable, though the Five-0 team knew better than to say anything about gingerbread Steve's cuteness, not even when twin, rose-colored circles - like the colored sugar sprinkles that children put on cookies - appeared on his cheeks as understanding dawned on him.
Steve absentmindedly brushed newly fallen marshmallow fluff off of his arm as he nodded. Chin's face, even in gingerbread mode, gave nothing away, but he, too nodded.
Kono and Danny both exchanged shrugs. "What are they talking about?" Kono asked.
"Beats me." Danny shook marshmallow fluff out of his hair.
"You know, the Mendoza case," Steve said, dark brown eyebrows rising toward his hairline as he spoke. "As we were cuffing one of the men, he muttered some kind of prayer, and said something about the gods taking vengeance on us."
Danny and Kono frowned.
"Sorry, boss, doesn't ring a bell." Kono's shoulders sagged apologetically.
Danny shook his head, and scratched at it with the butt of his licorice gun before realizing what he was doing and quickly putting it down by his side. "Sorry, I got nothing."
Steve and Chin exchanged a look that gave little away of what they were thinking, save for that it was not good.
"Amnesia," Chin muttered. "Maybe that's all part of the plan."
"But turning us all into gingerbread people?" Steve placed his hands where his hips would be. "It doesn't make sense. What kind of vengeance is this?"
"Well, it is near Christmas," Danny offered, still not recalling the Mendoza bust.
"And maybe whoever prayed to the gods wasn't very specific. Maui is a trickster, maybe this is just his idea of fun," Kono added, and she wiped off a piece of marshmallow fluff that had landed just above her bikini top.
"Some kind of fun this is," Danny mumbled. "I'm ankle deep, or whatever the heck it is that gingerbread people have instead of ankles, in marshmallow fluff, tripping over unseen obstacles in a forest of candy trees. This is not my idea of fun."
"But it might be Maui's idea of fun," Chin said.
"I thought he was all about the sea and fish, though." Danny frowned as he tried to remember what he'd read in Grace's book. They'd read it together, taking turns. It had been fun at the time, had he known that something like this was going to happen in the future, he would have paid more attention.
"A trickster is a trickster, Danny," Kono said, placing a hand on his back. "You can't put anything past them, and they aren't exactly known for their logic. I think that this is right up Maui's alley. Like you said, it's near Christmas, and what's more festive than gingerbread men and candy?"
"I can think of a lot of things," Danny muttered darkly. "And not one of them involves gingerbread."
"It doesn't explain why you two can't remember the Mendoza case, though," Chin said, taking point as Steve fell back to check out something that none of them had noticed. Even as a gingerbread cookie, Steve was still a Navy SEAL at heart.
"We worked for months on that case."
"Odd," Kono said, and she drew nearer to Danny as they walked. "Not even the name is familiar."
Danny's eyes became dark blue slits as he racked his brain, trying to recall information that didn't seem to be there.
"What if you and Steve are remembering a case that doesn't exist?" he asked. "What if it's not Kono and I who are experiencing memory problems, but you and Steve?"
Chin frowned at the prospect, but kept moving. He could feel danger, of some sort, a darkness, lurking in the shadows of the colorful trees that surrounded them. He felt uneasy, but couldn't put his finger (not that he had any fingers at the moment) on what was causing the unease. No doubt it was the same sense of unease that had Steve doubling back and scouting the area for potential threats.
"It's a possibility," Chin said, after a pause.
"But you don't think that's what happened," Kono surmised when Chin fell silent.
Chin shook his head, sending little bits of marshmallow fluff flying. "No, I think that, along with whatever is going on, your and Danny's memories have been compromised."
"Do you think we'll get our memories back?" Kono asked, gripping Danny a little tighter.
"I'm not sure," Chin said, suddenly stopping and holding a hand up for the two of them to stop walking. He'd heard something, a snuffling, shuffling sound. It stopped almost as soon as it had started.
"The only thing I know for sure is that we need to get out of this place, as soon as possible."
"What is it?" Danny asked, voice rising in alarm. "What did you hear?"
"I don't know for sure, but I think that we're being followed. Steve went to check it out." Chin kept his voice even, not giving away any of the trepidation that he felt.
"How long?" Kono asked.
"Since we left the closed portal," Chin said, turning to regard them. His mouth was drawn in a tight, almost smile that did not reach his eyes, and in their current state, smiles could literally reach their eyes if they wanted them to.
"What do you think it is?" Danny asked. "If you had to make a guess."
"A cookie eating monster?" Kono shivered, eyes growing into big circles at the very thought.
"Of the, 'me want cookies' variety, or of the roar, gobble, gobble, variety?" Danny wondered aloud.
"I don't know anything for sure, just that we're being watched," Chin said, holding a hand up for them to stop making wild guesses. "For all we know it could be nothing, and I could be paranoid."
"Both you and Steve?" Kono snorted. "I'm starting to get a funny feeling about all of this."
She smacked Danny on the arm when he said, "Just now?"
"What I mean is that I feel like I'm being watched," Kono clarified, rolling her eyes.
"I thought it was just a given," Danny said, yellow eyebrows crawling up to his hairline when both Chin and Kono glared at him. "What? I didn't want anyone to think I was paranoid."
Chin shook his head, and led them to a tree made of tootsie rolls where they could escape beneath the thick branches, for a brief moment, from the falling marshmallow fluff. They brushed the sticky mess off of themselves, and huddled together as they waited for Steve to finish scouting the area, eyes watching the moving shadows around them.
"We can't stay here," Steve said, coming at them from out of nowhere and startling all three of them.
He ignored their gasps and narrow-eyed looks and motioned for them to follow him. He was covered in the white fluffy stuff, and looked a little like the Stay Puft marshmallow man, but no one said anything. They hurried after Steve as fast as their little stubby gingerbread legs, and the gathering marshmallow fluff, would allow them to, which wasn't very fast.
"Steven," Danny said, panting and leaning against what appeared to be a spearmint stick. "I'm not setting another foot in any direction until you tell us what's going on. What did you find? Where are you leading us? Did you find the portal that will bring us home?"
"Danno, we don't have time for this right now," Steve said, his bluish green eyes were tiny little squares.
"Make time for it," Danny said. "I mean it, Steven, I am not going to set another foot in that white crap unless I know where you're taking us. Any other day, and I wouldn't mind following your ass, god knows where, because lord knows you've got a pretty fine ass as far as asses go, but right now, your ass is the flat, backside of a cookie and -"
"You think I have a fine ass?" Steve's eyes were round now, the icing of his mouth was turned upward in a goofy grin.
Kono groaned and slapped Danny on the back, inadvertently pushing him toward Steve. Chin rolled his eyes, and shook his head.
"In all that I said, that's what you chose to focus on? Your ass?" Danny raised his eyes toward the heavens, which were turning into something resembling black licorice, like the gun he still held in his rounded hand.
Steve's mouth slipped into a pout, and he fidgeted with one of his red hot hearts. The faint blush of sugar sprinkles reappeared on his cheeks. It was a rather fetching look, even on a cookie. Or maybe especially on a cookie. Or maybe it was just fetching on cookie Steve.
"Boss, everyone knows you've got a cute ass," Kono said, blushing herself.
Chin pretended that he hadn't heard anything, and looked anywhere but at Steve's ass.
"Really?" Steve asked.
Kono nodded. "Yes, and Danny's ass isn't too shabby either."
Steve's eyes became saucers, and his head swiveled. Danny tried covering up his backside with his over-sized cookie hands and nearly sent the licorice gun flying. He scowled at Kono and sent a glare in Steve's direction.
"Right now it's not at its best," he said, bristling. "But I digress. Where, Captain, O my Captain, are you taking us, and why?"
Steve shook his head, his rounded eyes had momentarily turned into pinwheels of blue and green, and they resumed their roundish shape. The blush did not leave his cheeks, though, and he determinedly looked at the ground which was growing steadily whiter by the second.
"Believe it or not, there are toy soldiers, with guns, and I'm not talking the licorice kind that you're toting, Danny, I'm talking rifles, with bayonets. They seem to be hunting for something...or someone," Steve said, rounded hands on his middle.
"Toy...toy soldiers?" Danny sputtered. "Are we talking Babes in Toyland or GI Joe here?"
Steve shrugged, thought twice of running a hand over his face and gestured toward the forest at large. "Whatever they are, they are circling the forest."
"Trying to hem us in?" Chin asked.
Steve nodded.
"What else is there for them to be hunting?" Kono asked, not wanting the answer to be something like the candy, or toy version of werewolves, or other unsavory beasts that might be lurking in the candy forest.
"The good news is, I found a house, or maybe it's a cottage, just a few yards ahead," Steve said, eyes becoming open triangles, like arrows pointed in opposite directions.
"Let me guess, it's made of gingerbread, and is adorned with candy," Danny said drily.
Steve nodded. "It's even got those fancy, see through windows made of colored sugar. My mom made them once," Steve explained when everyone looked at him with rounded eyes.
"Oh, goodie!" Danny said, clapping his hands together, careful of the gun, though he had no idea if it actually worked. He plastered a fake smile on his face. "Windows made of colored sugar heated to an astronomical temperature. We'll definitely be safe there."
"Look, I know it's not ideal, but -"
"Steve, Danny, we don't have time for your usual banter. It doesn't look like this 'snow' is going to stop anytime soon, and right now, any shelter is better than none," Chin said, cutting off another argument before either man could get into full swing. "Even shelter that's made of gingerbread and sugar windows."
"You're right," Steve said.
"Sorry," Danny and Steve said at the same time.
Chin waved their apologies off, and Steve took the lead once more. They couldn't exactly run in the thicker than usual snow that had fallen, and was continuing to fall. They were quickly winded as they trudged through it, leaving a path that anyone would be able to follow.
"I'll have to double-back," Steve said. "Cover our tracks."
Danny shook his head. "How long do you think this magical trip we've been sent on is going to last? I say that we get to shelter and just wait out the storm, wait out the toy soldiers, wait out this whole damn mess."
"We can't count on it working like that," Steve said, voice diplomatic. "If this is Maui's work, we can't count on anything."
"I refuse to believe that this is permanent," Danny said.
"Regardless of whether this is a permanent situation or not, it's a good idea to cover our tracks. Like it or not, we are not the only ones here, and we are, from what I saw, vastly outnumbered and outgunned." Steve's voice was tight. "It's a wonder they haven't found us yet, with all the noise we're making."
"And by we, you mean me," Danny said, pointing toward himself.
"How much farther, bossman?" Kono asked, she had one arm wrapped across her waist. "Not that I'm not enjoying the 'snow' here, but it's not quite how I imagined it would be when I was a little girl, dreaming of a white Christmas."
"Yeah, it's a little too sticky for comfort," Danny adding, stomping in an attempt to dislodge a clump of the messy stuff from his foot.
"Not too far now," Steve said, trying to keep the frustration from his voice. He hadn't meant to signal Danny out, but the other man, gingerbread or otherwise, was not known for his silence.
"Good, because I don't know about everyone else, but -" Danny's voice was cut off by the sudden sound of jingling bells, which was followed by a series of staccato rat-a-tat-tats, and a scream that caused Steve's red hot buttons to jump right off of him and back into place.
Reviews are much valued (kind of rhymes).