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"Cora, I really think I'd be fine for the shoot this afternoon," insisted Robert when they were alone after luncheon.
"I insist that you take it easy, Robert," was Cora's reply. "Let's do something together. How about asking one of the servants for a tour of the castle? I haven't really seen much of it yet."
"Very well. I'll see if we can get that disagreeable butler to arrange it."
"Wonderful! And then you can tell me more about the niece," replied Cora with a smirk.
"Thank you for taking the time, Mrs. Smith." The housekeeper bowed her head upon these words and took her leave of Lord and Lady Grantham who remained in the ante-library.
"How long did you stay here last time?" asked Cora, hoping to get Robert talking.
"A fortnight," he replied catching her eyes. He moved to the love seat she occupied and took her hand. "There really isn't much to tell."
"Was she hideous?" she asked.
"I wouldn't say that. She was quite attractive," Robert said while looking off into the distance.
"Really? Then why didn't it work out. What went wrong?"
"Honestly, aside from the obvious attraction there wasn't much that was right about it," he replied, bringing his eyes back to hers. "I did feel somewhat guilty, however."
Cora perked up at this. "Oh? What did you have to feel guilty over, Robert?"
"I mentioned that she was attractive."
"More than once, dear."
"Well, my parents were keen on the match. From their perspective she had everything they wanted for me; beauty, wealth, position, the right upbringing and education. They asked me to seriously consider her and so I tried. One night, a couple of nights before we were to leave, my parents and Lord and Lady Hexham mysteriously left us alone." Robert paused for a moment and Cora tried not to rush him. She tightened her hold on his hand.
"What happened, Robert?" she prompted.
"We kissed, quite deeply," he replied gravely as a blush crept up his neck. "I'm not really sure how it happened, but suddenly she was in my arms. I realized that I enjoyed holding her and kissing her." Cora tried not to seem too surprised. She suspected Robert wasn't completely inexperienced like she was when they met, but it was still hard to hear this story. But then again, she asked for it, so now she needed to see it through with him.
"I'm even more confused now, Robert. If she possessed all the qualities you wanted and you felt…well, connected to her in that way, why didn't you offer for her?" she asked.
"She had qualities my parents wanted, Cora, not those I desired. I may have been very attracted to her, but over the course of the two weeks I realized she wasn't right for me. Attraction alone was only going to take us so far, but I worried that we wouldn't have enough else to keep us going."
"What did she lack?" asked Cora. Robert thought for a moment.
"I know my impromptu speech on our last anniversary wasn't all that romantic," he began.
"I didn't expect anything, Robert," she interrupted.
"But still," he said meaningfully and paused. "It may not have been romantic, but I did mean what I said. She may have had the beauty, but she was lacking brains and a conscience, as far as I could tell. Cora, when I met you the following season it was so different. We had real conversations about history, books, even politics."
"Yes, my penchant for those conversations with men often got me into trouble with my mother, until I met you. Most men politely moved on after one of those conversations," said Cora.
"Not me," said Robert seriously. "When I met you I realized what was missing from the previous women I'd known. I don't think I fully understood it before then. Your wit made me laugh, too, which was delightful." They both smiled at this, Robert enthusiastically and Cora a bit sheepishly. It was rare that Robert was so open with his feelings and now she was glad she had pushed him to tell her the story.
"But, Robert, how did you end it with Lady Evelyn?" she asked.
"I didn't propose and fortunately she didn't mention the incident to anyone. If she had I may have been forced into the marriage. It was my own thoughtlessness to allow the kiss to continue. It didn't go beyond that, though. A couple of days later I left and a month after that we heard she was engaged. I suspect she may have been dangling a few of us along to ensure success in the long run. I'm sure she chose against me as well for it would have been easy enough for her to force the issue. I am grateful for the experience though, because it helped me realize and identify the wife that would be the perfect match for me," Robert said as he leaned in to kiss her. He intended a rather chaste kiss, expecting they could be interrupted at any time, but given the nature of their discussion it deepened quite quickly. They melted into each other for a moment or two, until Cora pulled gently away with a quizzical look on her face.
"Whom did she marry?" asked Cora, thinking it was probably someone they'd met over the years.
"The Earl of Clarendon," replied Robert importantly.
"Lady Evelyn is Lady Clarendon?" asked Cora with much surprise. She did know her, not well, but they'd certainly met. "Isn't she the one who paid you undo attention the season after we married?"
"That's the one," said Robert.
"Oh, Robert," she laughed, "I wish you had told me this story a long time ago. There was a period early in our marriage when I worried you had feelings for her."
"No, darling. I tried not to be rude, but I did not have feelings for her. My heart was never engaged. Not like with you," said Robert. She reached her hands around his neck and gently stroked his hair as their lips joined again in a passionate kiss. Moments later, not nearly long enough, they heard voices and footsteps enter the room.
"Pardon me," Lord Sinderby said with a disapproving tone. Robert and Cora slowly moved apart and stood to greet their frosty host. Their outward demeanor was friendly, but stoic. On the inside they were each thinking that the shooting ended far too soon that afternoon.