2
Amy stood on the threshold of Penny's apartment, speechless. Really, what had she expected? She should have realized it was too good to be true that Sheldon Cooper would consent to something as sentimental as a prom do-over.
Amy watched Penny nudge Leonard, who, to his credit, took only a second before he announced, "You look lovely, Amy."
Trying to muster a smile at the compliment, Amy nodded in his direction, while continuing to stare at the closed door to 4A. "Thank you, Leonard."
There was an awkward silence, then Leonard said, "Maybe I should go see if he's okay. . . ." He was about to return home when Amy stopped him.
"No. I'll do it. I need to know what happened from the time I last spoke to him until now. I know he wasn't crazy about the idea, but he didn't seem totally opposed to it either. You two go on up. The others should be here soon."
Leonard stood at the base of the stairs, fingers twisting as he glanced at Penny. Amy understood he wasn't sure what the best course of action was. She herself was wondering what the best way to approach this latest wrinkle in her relationship with Sheldon.
"Come on," Penny said, gesturing towards the stairs with her head, sliding her hand into Leonard's. "Let's take advantage of some alone time on the roof." Leonard gave Amy one last quick look before enthusiastically accepting Penny's invitation.
Amy watched her friends ascend the stairs, and released a sigh. A part of her envied Penny for the doting fiancé she had in Leonard, but she wouldn't trade Sheldon for the world. Some of his behaviors, maybe. . . . With that though, she inhaled deeply and went to see what had set Sheldon off this time.
The apartment was dim, just the light of the lamp next to Sheldon's spot, and the illumination from the hallway. She called out as she headed towards the corridor.
"Sheldon? Where are you?" There was no answer, but as she rounded the corner by the bathroom, she could see light seeping from beneath his bedroom door. Knocking, she called out, "Can I come in?"
His voice was breathy, coming in short little bursts. "I don't think that's a good idea. According to an online message board, I might be having a panic attack. Soccer Mom 09 had similar symptoms." Then, to confuse the issue even further, he started going on about some mother whose twins had been a "handful."
"You're making me worry," she said, truly wondering where all this anxiety was suddenly coming from. "What's going on?"
Sheldon continued. "What's going on is we're about to go to a prom. There's a great deal of pressure on young couples like us to engage, as Mr. Bob Eubanks referred to as, 'making whoopee.'"
Amy shook her head. "What pressure? All I said was you look handsome. Can you please open the door?" She could hear rustling, the squeak of bed springs, then his voice sounding closer. He must be just on the other side of his door, she reasoned.
"It's not just that," he sighed. "Leonard and Penny also made comments about it. And I'm not blind. Even I looked twice when I saw my posterior in these tuxedo pants."
Knowing Sheldon as she did, Amy realized there was going to be a lot of superfluous information to sift through before she got to the root of his dilemma, and to be honest, she didn't know if she had the patience.
She'd been so excited all day, and this latest twist was starting to be too much. From putting the finishing touches on the decorations, to Penny making her up, to the giddy thoughts she had of spending a romantic evening with Sheldon, she'd been on an adrenaline high, and now, with his reticence, she was beginning to feel the inevitable "crash" looming on the horizon. She wasn't going to allow that. Screw Sheldon Cooper. She'd put too much time and effort into this night to have it be over before it began.
Staring at his door, Amy spoke just loud enough for him to hear. "Sheldon, this is silly. I'm not missing another prom. I'm going upstairs now. Good-bye." As she turned to go, Amy heard the door open and heard his voice clearly.
"I really did think you looked pretty."
Amy couldn't quite believe what she'd just heard. Had he just. . . .! Her voice was soft, full of disbelief. "You did?"
Sheldon stood in his doorway, his gaze darting about, only occasionally settling on her. "Yes," he exhaled. "So much so that I started to panic."
His touching words squeezed her heart. "Well you can relax. Just because you think I look pretty doesn't mean we have to spend the night together."
"Where you hoping we would because it's prom?"
"I'm always hoping." Sheldon licked his lips, and looked down at the floor. "But tonight I just wanted to have a nice time with you. Maybe dance with someone who has arms."
Looking back up at her, he said, "Thank you for understanding."
Moving closer, Amy felt the flutter around her heart starting to squeeze. "Of course I understand," she said. Hesitating, Amy wondered if now was the time to confess all she'd been feeling lately. How despite his sometimes exasperating behavior, she loved him. She loved his intelligence, his quirky wit, his often surprising compassion. Showing a softer side when she least expected it. All of it. And, to be honest, his physical being as well. From his pale skin to his lanky limbs. Sheldon Cooper was the whole package.
Taking a small step towards him, she tried to admit to her feelings, but the words were coming out jumbled, and the more she tried to express herself, the more disjointed her confession became.
"Sheldon, there's something else I've been wanting to say, but before I do, I just want you to know that you don't have to say it back, I know you're not ready, I don't want you to say it back because social convention dictates. . ."
"I love you, too." Everything suddenly stopped. Blood was pounding in her ears, her heart began beating so wildly, Amy couldn't be sure she wasn't having a heart attack. Sheldon Lee Cooper just admitted to loving her!
Somehow, Amy found her voice. "You said it," she breathed, still unable to wrap her head around the four words Sheldon had just spoken.
"There's no denying that I have feelings for you that can't be explained in any other way. I briefly considered that I had a brain parasite," he said, causing her brow to wrinkle. "But that seemed even more far-fetched." Sheldon's shoulders gave a slight shrug. "The only conclusion was love."
Amy didn't think it was possible, but the pulse in her ears seemed even louder, as she struggled to breathe. This isn't happening her addled brain was telling her, and yet, there he stood, looking at her with so much tenderness she thought she would die of happiness. Involuntarily, her hand moved to her chest, as if the fingers over her lungs would help facilitate catching a breath.
Sheldon stood before her, unmoving, concern etched across his features. "I know what's happening!" he cried, excited as if he'd been playing a game and had the answer before the other players. "This is a panic attack! Soccer Mom 09 says to lie down with your feet elevated."
Amy nodded, muttering "Okay," as she dashed for Sheldon's bed. She was about to lie down when his protest began.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Just because I love you doesn't mean girls are allowed in my room!" Amy stared back at him. Was he serious? She was in the middle of an emotional crisis and he was sticking by his stupid rules? How many times did she have to be in his room before his ridiculous dictates no longer applied?
Standing in the door way, Sheldon gestured for her to move along out of his sanctuary. When she stood frozen, he snapped his fingers, repeating his hand movements indicating she was to leave. Her brain was on automatic and she headed towards the living room, landing on the first piece of furniture she knew she could lie down on. instinctively, she started for her spot in the middle of the sofa, but suddenly, there was Sheldon, on the periphery of her vision, taking her hand. Silently, he moved the striped cushion from his spot around to rest against the arm of the couch.
"Lie down," he instructed, and supported her as she moved to a reclining position, all the while staring at him in disbelief. Can this really be happening? Sheldon said he loved me and he's letting me lie in his spot? Although she'd been chased from his room, resting in his spot seemed even more intimate. This is where he "lived." Most of his life was conducted from this spot, and for him to share it with her had Amy's heart fluttering again.
Once she was settled back, Sheldon took a seat somewhere between Bernadette's place and her own, lifting her legs onto his lap. Amy was still struggling to breathe, but didn't feel quite so light headed. Sheldon kept darting looks at her, but wouldn't meet her gaze. To be honest, she was feeling a little shy as well. After a confession like that, where did they go from here?
Amy was just starting to feel a little more like herself, when she felt Sheldon's fingers on her ankles, and another shot of adrenaline zinged through her. She wasn't sure if his movements were calculated or random, but they were turning her into a puddle of goo. Amy didn't know how much more she could take. Declarations of love, physical contact without negotiation, had Amy wondering if an alien hadn't replaced her boyfriend.
Sheldon licked his lips and gave her a sidelong glance. Clearing his throat, he addressed her, still not making eye contact. "Amy, I didn't tell you I loved you to distract you from going to the prom. But now that the 'cat is out of the bag,' so to speak, I'm not sure I want to attend the dance with this hanging over our heads."
Pushing herself upright, Amy stared at the man next to her, who still hadn't really looked at her since they'd come to the living room. "Sheldon, while this is a major milestone in our relationship, nothing has to change. I told you I don't expect. . . ." Her voice trailed off. She couldn't seem to make herself say the word 'sex,' and she refused to use 'coitus.' She gave a little cough. "I don't expect us to have. . .relations. All I want is to have a chance to dance with you and share an evening with our friends."
Now Sheldon turned to face her. "But don't you see? How can we do that now? It's going to be all over your face and one of your hens is going to insist on knowing why you look so happy! The first thing you're likely to do is run up to Penny and tell her how romantic I am!"
Amy bit her lip to keep her smile at bay. While a part of her wanted to literally shout from the rooftop that Sheldon Cooper loved her, and he'd told her the night of prom, no less, she'd never class Sheldon as a 'romantic.'
"I promise I won't say anything to Penny."
"You say that now!" he exclaimed, "But you know how she is! And once Bernadette and Emily jump on the bandwagon you'll be powerless to resist their evil influence! They'll wheedle the truth out of you before you can say Sheldon Cooper is the best boyfriend ever.'"
"Sheldon, I hardly think the moment Penny sees me she's going to leap to the conclusion you confessed your feelings for me."
Sheldon jumped slightly. "You don't know that! You're glowing like a Christmas tree bulb! She's bound to suspect something!" Putting her hand to her cheek, Amy did indeed feel the warmth there. Maybe he was right, she thought. She felt like she was glowing, but was it really that obvious her world had shifted on its axis?
"If it'll make you feel better, I'll sign something stating under. . . .penalty of whatever. . . .I won't tell Penny tonight."
"Ah ha!" he pounced. "I knew it! First chance you get after tonight you're going to run to her and blab the whole thing!"
Amy inhaled, and tried to form a cogent argument, but it wasn't easy to think with his hands still fondling her ankles. "Sheldon, this is a big deal for me! Surely you can't expect me to keep this a secret forever?"
Sagging a little Sheldon nodded. "I can see how telling the world that you've captured the heart of Sheldon Cooper would be something you could lord over them." He looked up then, gazing squarely into her eyes. "But please, Amy! Not tonight!"
"Sheldon, I already told you. Tonight it's our secret. Something only you and I will share."
He nodded, then out of the blue said, "I think we should end our date."
Amy leaned in closer. "I've already told you I won't say anything! Sheldon, I've been looking forward to this night for, well, forever! Are you're still denying me the chance to dance with you?" She couldn't believe it. This night had been a roller coaster of emotions, and she wasn't sure she could take anymore of being lifted to incredible heights, only to free-fall, crashing on the rocks below.
"Now. . .I didn't say we should cancel the night." Sheldon waved a hand down his torso. "I didn't get dressed up in this monkey suit for nothing!" Staring at him, Amy was unable to grasp what he was getting at this time. He shifted on the sofa, gaze darting about the semi-darkness of the living room. "I think we should end this date. And start a new one," he added. Sheldon glanced over at her, and Amy could tell he was trying to judge her reaction. Smoothing down the skirt of her dress, she replied,
"I think that's a great idea." She started to pull her feet off his lap, but Sheldon hung on.
"Are you sure you feel well enough to get up? You still look a little pale to me."
"I'm feeling much better," she assured him. "Let's go up on the roof. The others have probably been there for awhile now." Gathering her skirt, Amy started to stand, until she felt Sheldon's hand on her arm. His touch was causing her to tingle again, and she wondered how she was going to dance with him, when a casual touch had electricity snapping through her.
"Aren't you forgetting something?" he asked, warm palm still on her forearm. She couldn't think what he meant.
Her voice was pitched low. "I don't think so." Sheldon sighed, removing his hand from her, and placed both hands on his knees.
"Since Valentine's Day, how have we ended our dates?"
It took moment for Amy to catch on, but once she did, her grin stretched across her face. Sheldon wanted to kiss her! Heart rate increasing once more, Amy resisted the urge to draw in great lungfuls of air, knowing Sheldon would insist she lay back again. And no doubt call an end to prom night. And telling her a kiss was not advised in such a situation, because perhaps she was coming down with something.
Amy began leaning in towards Sheldon, and was surprised he broached half the distance. Often it was she who had to meet him more than half-way. His eyes were closed, and hers drifted shut as their lips met. By most people's reckoning, their kiss was chaste, but it didn't feel that way to her. After Sheldon's earlier declaration, his mouth on hers felt as though it was a new beginning, and it was hard to sit still as his lips pushed against hers with more enthusiasm than she'd experienced from him before.
Amy pulled back and stared at her boyfriend. "Sheldon!" she breathed. "Wow!" His eyes were blinking open, and the vacancy there left Amy thrilled. I just knocked the socks off Sheldon Cooper!
Sheldon swallowed as he blinked several more times. Clearing his throat, he chanced a glance at Amy and gave her a ghost of a smile. "I think maybe we should join the others."
Nodding, Amy stood and offered Sheldon her hand. He didn't take it, causing Amy to frown. NOW what?
"I have a proposal," he said, once again looking as if he was bracing himself for rejection. "Since we've ended one date, and are about to embark on another, I think we should re-boot it from the time it fell apart."
"I'm not sure where that was, exactly."
"Well," he said, hesitating, "For me it was when I first saw you in that dress." He quickly swept her with his gaze, then looked away again. Amy couldn't help the feeling of triumph at the thought of enticing her boyfriend. Even though he hadn't voiced it a second time, Amy now knew he found her pretty, and it was making her giddy.
Amy's voice was intentionally low. "So what's your proposal?" She watched Sheldon gulp. He'd been doing that a lot this evening, she noticed. It took a little bit, but he finally said,
"I think you should go back over to Penny's, and I'll come calling for you as if none of this had happened." Amy froze, her mouth hanging open. It hadn't even been fifteen minutes and already Sheldon was trying to take back his "I love you"?
Sheldon stared back at her, confused at her reaction. "Why would starting our date over be such a bad thing?"
Amy blinked. "Sheldon, you told me you loved me and now you're trying to take it back?"
It took a minute but Amy knew the moment Sheldon realized why she was upset. "Oh. Oh! You think because I want a reset, I want to pretend I didn't say all that mushy stuff to you."
"Isn't that what you mean?"
Waving his hand dismissively, Sheldon assured her, "That ship has sailed. No calling it back to port." Was this some expression of remorse? "What I meant was, I want to put all of these panic attacks behind us. Get back to where we're comfortable. I want to look at you and not lose my breath." Had the words been in print, Amy would have found them incredibly romantic. However, with Sheldon's particular spin, they simply sounded eminently practical.
Standing, Sheldon adjusted his tie, then reached for his jacket from the back of the sofa. "Are you ready?" She nodded, surprised when he was now snapping his fingers at her. "Well, let's go! That party's not waiting for you to arrive to get started!"
Amy held back a wry smile. Sheldon's mercurial behavior shouldn't surprise her. After all, did she think him telling her he loved her was going to make the sun rise in the west?