I am so sorry I had put this chapter up earlier not realizing that during my cut and paste process a chunck of my story had gotten cut out. So I had to re do it. Sorry about that. I am still figuring this whole thing out so please bear with me. I hope that you like this chapter. Please review and let me know what you think. I am enjoying writing this so I hope to continue to do it
*I do not own Degrassi*
Clare stood there shell shocked for what seemed like an eternity,but in reality it was only a few minutes. As she stood there staring at the green eyed boy who used to be the center of her whole universe she couldn't help but think about the last time she saw him.
The last time Clare had seen Eli was when she drove him to the airport to go back to NYU once winter break was over. The whole trip Eli had been extremely distant and didn't seem to want to spend anytime with her. After he had gotten back to school his calls to her had become less frequent and then eventually just stopped. When this happened it sent Clare into a hopeless depression. She had lost the love of her life. She felt broken. Yet she couldn't help but feel a sort of responsiblity for it all. She felt responsible for it cause she never made an effort to try to fix it. She just let him slip away. Although she had let there relationship slip through her fingers she still thought about him often and always wondered what her life would be like if they had stayed together.
Would they still be together?
Would they have gotten married?
Would they have kids and be living happilly ever after?
Those were the questions going through her head as she stood there staring into the eyes of the man that she had loved all those years ago.
"Clare are you okay?" she heard someone ask bringing her back to reality
"Yea I am fine"Clare answered
"I just have a few questions to ask for my article then I can get out of your hair"
"So what was your insperation for this beautiful play of your Mr. Goldsworthy?"Clare asked
She kept telling herself to just stay proffesional then she could go to the party talk to Alli then drink the craziness that is tonight away.
"Well it was inspired by my life,inspired by the one woman whom I've always felt that I let slip away from me"Eli responded
"What does this play mean to you? I mean you've mentioned your inspiration was an old love,but what were you hoping that writing this play would accomplish?" "Were you hoping for some sort of closure?" Clare asked
"Not at all,my reasons were more selfish then that" said Eli
"How so Mr.. Goldsworthy?"
"Well I was hoping that one day she will see this play and know how sorry I am for letting her get away from me and for her to know that I have never stopped thinking about her,not for one day"
"Well Mr.. Goldsworthy I hope that she does see it one day so she'll know that. Thank you so much for your time"Clare stuck out her hand to shake Eli's
Eli looked into Clares eyes,and she noticed a glimmer of sadness in his eyes. He held out his hand and shook her hand and said "It was my pleasure Clare"
When Clare heard him say that she couldn't help but feel a heart wrenching pang in her chest. She gave Eli and sad smile and walked away.
*At the Party*
Clare walked into the party and found Alli immediately
"So how was your reunion with Eli?"Alli asked with an amused grin on her face
"You were right I should have let you warn me"said Clare
"So how was it?"
"I just stayed professional,asked him my questions,shook his hand and walked away"said Clare
"What! That's it? No longing looks,no explanation on what happened between the two of you,no declaration of love?"asked ALli
"No I just kept it professional,now I'd like to eat and get some drinks in me"
"okay sounds like a plan Clare"
After the girls finished eating and had a few drinks in them Alli decided it was time to bring up the Eli subject again.
"So Clare why didn't you talk to Eli?"asked Alli
"Ugh Alli I thought that we were going to let this go?"said Clare annoyed
"I know but come on Clare he was the love of your life and he just stopped calling you,didn't you want to know why?"
"Alli that was 10 years ago does it really matter now?" asked Clare
Alli was about to say something when CLare heard someone clear there throat behind her and ask "Can I have this dance?" Clare turned around to find familiar green eyes looking at her with a hand outstretched to her.
"She'd love to" Alli exclaimed
Clare was at a loss for words so she just nodded her head and grabbed onto the the familiar hand. As they worked there way out on to the dance floor Clare couldn't help but remember the last time they danced together. It was at Eli's senior prom,it was also the night that CLare had given herself fully to him. As they got out onto the dance floor Eli put his hands around her waist,while Clare placed her arms around his neck. Clare couldn't find any words to say to Eli,nor could she look directly at him. She felt that if she were to look at him she would turn back into that broken 17 year old girl and she didn't want to show Eli how much he had broken her.
"So why didn't you say hi? You just went straight to asking me questions,that's not very professional of you Edwards"Eli said with a laugh
"Well if I had said exactly what it was that I was thinking at that moment then I truly would have been UN-professional"laughed Clare
"Well you aren't interviewing me anymore so why don't you tell me what it is that you would have said to me. I'm a big boy I promise that I can take it" said Eli
"No I do not think that we need to get into any of that here at this wonderful party for your amazingly beautiful play" said Clare
"Cause I know that if we have this conversation there will be yelling and possibly crying and that doesn't need to happen here,what happened between us was 10 years ago maybe it should just be left there" continued Clare
"Okay Clare I'll make you a compromise,I will drop it for tonight only if you promise me that one day we can have this conversation. What do you say?"asked Eli
All Clare could say was "Okay"
Deep down she knew he was right. If she ever wanted to be able to have a true and meaningful relationship with someone someday she needed to have closure from the guy who broke her,the guy who made her turn her back on the concept of true love.
"So how are your parent's?" asked Clare. It was all she could think of to ask at that moment.
"They are doing great,still crazy as ever and constantly asking when I am going to get married and give them some grandkids" laughed Eli
"How is your family Clare?"
"They are good,my mom and Glen are still happily married and my dad is re-married as well though I don't talk to him much and Darcy is still in Kenya,she is married and has 2 kids"
"How about Jake?" Eli asked
"Jake is good,he and Katie are married and living in Boston. They are expecting there first child in a few months"
"Wow him and Katie married with a baby on the way,sounds like life has been great to him"
"I know tell me about it" responded CLare
"I guess we all can't be lucky enough to meet the person we are meant to spend forever with when were in high school" said Clare sadly
Hearing Clare say that was like a bullet to the heart for Eli.
"Clare I am so sorry for leaving you the way that I did. There is not a day that goes by that I do not regret that" Eli said with remorse in his voice
"I thought we made a deal not to talk about this here" said Clare shakily
"I know but we need to,this has to be talked about" stated Eli
"I have to go home and write my article. It was nice seeing you ELi" Clare said as she turned and ran out of the party tears stinging her eyes. Within a matter of seconds she was back to being that broken 17 year old girl.
"How could he think that after 10 years that is the way to apologize to someone? In the middle of a party in front of hundreds of people?" Clare thought to herself. She flagged down a cab and told the driver to take her to her apartment.
*Back at the Party*
"Eli what the HELL did you do to Clare"yelled Alli
"I apologized to her Alli. I told her that there was not a day that goes by that I don't regret the way that I handled everything"Eli said sadly
"Alli you have to give me her address or phone number,I need to talk to her"
"Eli you don't understand,when you stopped calling Clare she lost it. She was so depressed, she didn't only lose you she lost a piece of herself as well. You broke her Eli and she has never been able to put back all the pieces"cried Alli
"Alli please I need to fix this"
*On the phone*
"Clare where are you?"alli asked
"I am at home. I am so sorry that I left you there. I just had to get out of there and fast."
"Don't worry about it Clare I understand. I am on my way to your place right now. I have the main entrance door code just be sure to open your door when I knock"
"Okay thank you Alli"
"This is what best friends are for."Alli said before hanging up the phone
*Back at Clares Apartment*
20 minutes later Clare heard a knock at her door. She opened up the door completely in tears. When she looked at the person standing in front of her she was suddenly engulfed in anger.
"What the FUCK are you doing here" Clare asks with venom in her voice
Okay so should the person at Clare's door be Eli or should it be someone else from her past. I am still trying to figure that out. I have to ideas going on in my mind and I am not sure which one to use. Let me know what you think...if i get enough people telling me what direction I should take it in I will hopefully be able to do the new chapter by saturday night or sunday morning. thank you guys. i hope that you enjoy this chapter. love you guys :)