Hey
Warnings: OOC as all hell
xxxxxx
Ichigo didn't talk to me for three days. And I don't mean curt, one-word answer ignoring(that went on for a month), I mean that I thought he had died four times one day because he got home late and answered none of my texts and calls. It almost killed me-I deserved it. When I was holding the phone like that, threatening him and watching him turn pale like he was a man on death row, I myself couldn't believe what I was doing.
And yet, the monster inside me declared that it was within my rights to do this, that it was absolutely the correct thing. Most of me knew it had not been the right thing whatsoever, but a small part of me hoped dearly that it had been.
I finally got him to talk to me similar to the way I got him to ignore me. He was getting some eggs out of the fridge and I leaned my body against his as he closed the door, sandwiching him between the refrigerator and my torso. He shoved the carton of eggs onto the counter to the right of the fridge before elbowing me hard in the stomach. It hurt, but I refused to release my stance.
"Talk to me Ichigo. I'm gonna die if I go another second without speaking to you. I miss your voice. I miss you."
My voice broke at the end of the sentence and I knew I had him. Ichigo was a total sucker for romantic stuff, and I had grown very skilled in the art of saying romantic things to him. I suppose it was a little unlawful, being able to almost control him with shit like this, but I loved seeing him blush and get flustered.
I let him shove me off of him, and he did something extremely uncharacteristic: he put his head in his hands. It felt strange and wrong, like he was ashamed. It made me feel ten kinds of wrong and my stomach twisted like a tourniquet.
"Do you think I liked ignoring you, Grimmjow? No wait, let me phrase this differently,"
He quickly pulled his hands from his face and briskly walked away. I followed him until he turned, twisted his hips, and slammed his fist into my chest. I fell backwards and landed on my ass. My chest burned with pain, the physical pain of being slugged by the only kid who could beat me in a fight in high school and the mental pain that followed being slugged by the only kid who really made me feel things in high school and beyond. The monster screamed at me to punch him back, to pin him down and do terrible things to him for throwing me off my game. I told it to shut the hell up.
Ichigo cradled his hand, knuckles bright red and possibly bleeding. He had this horribly vulnerable expression on his face that somehow hurt me more than the seven-act play of agony that was going on in my torso right now.
"Do you think I liked being threatened by the most intimate person in my life, Grimmjow?" He spat out my name like it was a curse.
I felt unspeakably dirty.
xxxxxx
I hadn't meant for the punch to be that hard. I felt like I just took a week's worth of pent up words that I wanted to say to him and directed it into that strike. My fist hurt like hell and I was pretty sure I couldn't move my pointer finger. Grimmjow was on the floor and pale white, clutching his chest with one hand and using the other to brace himself up.
It was wrong to see him like this, shocked and hurt and lost. If I had learned one thing from the years that we had been together, it was that if Grimmjow wasn't in control of a situation, not even a little bit, he was either dead or dying. This made group projects hell of course in the second semester of senior year, because Grimmjow was also shitty at being responsible for all the group papers and wouldn't let anyone touch them without asking him first.
Everything felt simpler back then honestly. Grimmjow would piss me off almost every day but we were both too laid back and liked each other too much to really get mad. Things were different now. Everything snowballed and neither of us was good enough at handling emotions to not drop our snowballs on each other.
The way I said his name just now felt horrible coming off my tongue. I wanted to cut the damn thing off because it would never really feel right again after that.
Grimmjow just kept staring at me, eyes cloudy. I did the same to him. After what I had said, I didn't really think I needed to say anything else.
"I don't know what happened to me when I did that. Fuck, I," He sits up and runs his hand through his hair, hunching his shoulders slightly and pressing his hand into his chest even harder.
"I'm an animal. When you leave me I go crazy because I wanna be near you at all times. It doesn't excuse what I did but fuck, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Grimmjow said a lot of lame cheesy shit, but that was probably because he knew I ate it up. God, I would eat him up if I could. The big idiot probably tastes like what happiness feels.
I sat down next to him.
"You're as lame as you were in high school." He rested his head on his knee.
"Yeah? Well you still punch like a mathlete."
Pushing him over, I straddled him and leaned my face in close towards his.
"At least I don't have a small dick. If that girl you rejected junior year knew that, I bet she wouldn't have asked you to homecoming in the first place."
He turned his shoulder so he was the one straddling me. A brief look of pain flashed across his face as he leaned down to kiss me and suck on my ear(his ear and neck fetish was so weird but it also turned me on in ways I cannot describe) and he had to keep himself from falling on me when he grabbed his chest.
"Fuck," He mumbled. I sat up, concerned.
"Are you okay? Shit, does anything feel broken?" Rather than saying anything, he rolled off of me and onto his back, groaning quietly.
"Nah you're too weak to do that, but this is gonna be a sick bruise tomorrow." He lifted up his shirt.
"Or now."
The bruise was green at the edges and a deep red, with dark purple forming over the red where my knuckles had dug in. Grimmjow grabbed me and kissed me before I could say anything.
"You're one tough mathlete Kurosaki, but this looks a lot worse than it feels."
I laugh weakly, trying to hide the sharp lines of worry permeating through my chest. Grabbing some block of frozen meat form the fridge and wrapping it in a towel, I press it to the bruise gently.
I feel terrible, but it also feels like balance has been restored. I make a mental note to forget about all of this as he winces.
Xxxxxxxx
I'm not really one for joking around in all honesty, but I was so fucking relieved that we were talking again that I didn't know what else to do.
"This meat is almost warm," I say, pressing it harder to the bruise. It doesn't hurt at all now honestly, but Ichigo flustered is fucking fantastic.
"Our fridge sucks ass."
Ichigo kisses me on the cheek.
"You're probably just too hot for it." I grin, but it's a little fake. I feel the monster getting anxious, wanting me to grab him and either fuck him into next week or rip him to shreds for hitting me. Either way, it needs control.
I can't hold it back.
I shove the meat off of me and grab him hard by the shoulders. I hope he thinks its sexy hard and not me being a monster. He struggles a little and looks confused.
"Grimmjow, you need to rest. And your grip-" I cover his mouth with one hand and shove him into the shower with the other. Ichigo fucking hated doing shit in the shower, but I had a carnal need to see him naked and turning the water on would be the fastest way to get him to strip.
I blocked the entrance and the water faucet(our shower is small as hell) and turned the water on high. Ichigo immediately tried to shove me out of the way of the faucet, and then the exit(avoiding my bruise-he's such a sweetheart even when he's mad), yelling at me to move the whole time. He sounded angry as hell but also frantic, like he was caught off guard and didn't think he could escape. Eventually, he gave in and pulled off his shirt and pants, leaving only his boxers on. He stood in the corner of the shower, staring daggers at me.
Taking off my shirt while keeping both objectives blocked, I slid off my pants and underwear in a way that I knew would make him blush(and it did, the little fucker. God, he turns me on.) He shrank back when I loomed in front of him, one hand behind my back and the other pressed against his chest.
"What the hell are you doing? My shirt's ruined you shit. Let me out of here."
He tries to weasel his way past me but I whip my hand out from behind my back and slap him in the face, quickly snaking it around his neck.
"You're hot when you're all wet like this." I sucked on his shoulder, pressing my body all the way against his so he couldn't move without hurting my bruise. He realized this and I felt him grow tense beneath me. At this point I felt like I wasn't really myself, that I was watching someone else take over my body and force Ichigo on his knees while experiencing the same thing from a first person point of view. By this time, Ichigo was yelling and struggling, but I pressed my hand into my chest and he quieted almost immediately.
"Start sucking or I'll break the bone." I press down harder and wince in pain. Ichigo tries to grab my arm and stop me but I free myself easily from his grip, too slick from the water to be held down. Reluctantly, he begins stroking my half hard dick and then sucking on the tip, eventually deep throating me and scraping his teeth on the underside in the exact way that he knows I go crazy for.
It's sexy, almost sinfully so. And yet, I notice his hunched shoulders as I begin thrusting his mouth, coming when I'm almost fucking his mouth into the shitty tile wall. He won't meet my eyes. The monster is definitely satisfied and I'm satisfied, but I feel like I've done something terribly wrong.
He drapes an arm over me when we go to sleep that night but I know nothing is right, that I had most definitely fucked up. Sometimes I wonder that if I ripped out my liver, I would rip out the monster too and then I could set things back to the way they were.
I remembered the way he used my name and suddenly found it fitting.
xxxxxx
Update will come sometime in the future ideally. Sorry for the wait(I actually saw a surprising amount of people following/favoriting this which really helped me finish this second chapter thank you all of you)