Sorry this chapter took so long. I had a busy weekend and was working all day Saturday and Sunday and I worked last night. Plus, I really wanted to make sure this chapter was good, so I edited it a lot and read it over a bunch of times. Hopefully there are no mistakes :P

Thank you to the amazing people who reviewed! And also to the people who favorited/followed this story. You guys are the best, I swear I wouldn't feel half as good as I do without your feedback.

I want to say thank you to my puppy, Sadie, as well for laying at my feet the whole time I wrote this chapter. It's really random, but I just noticed that it's become a pattern for her to do when I go in my room and lay in bed to write. Haha so random...

Read on!

"Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future.

If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realize that right now we are okay.

Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvelously.

Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky.

Our ears can still hear the voices of our loved ones." –Carmen Bass

Chapter 4

Guarantee

My first week of high school was now officially over. It was the first of many grueling weeks to come. Now that I finally got a taste of what it was like, I had mixed feelings about having to go through fourteen more weeks of this same routine. Classes were difficult, and my homework stack was already piled high, yet I still felt ecstatic about facing all of the challenges this school year would bring on. I guess it was mostly because of the amazing people I've met in these short five days. I'm pretty sure I don't have to explain who is at the top of that list…

Embry and I had continued to grow closer as the days continued on. We passed notes constantly in calculus, and each time I was astounded by the fact that we never got caught. I didn't know if we were just lucky or if Mr. Collier just chose to ignore it. When I brought it up to Embry, he told me Mr. Collier had deemed him as a lowlife degenerate a long time ago and was sick of disciplining him. This led me to believe that the latter was true.

Surprisingly, I didn't need to pay attention to Mr. Collier's lectures to know how to do the homework, and the assignments we were given were a breeze for me. Sadly, this wasn't true for Embry. After he had turned in his first homework assignment, which was basically just the answers taken from the back of the book and scribbled onto a page, and received an F I took mercy on him and offered to try to explain it all to him. This resulted in the two of us spending the next two days after school having makeshift tutoring sessions at his house. We did our best to stay focused. It failed a bunch of times due to his short attention span and strange infatuation with me. I was practically a tomato every time I was with him because of that.

Yesterday in photography we had developed our film in the darkroom to complete our first project. Embry and I managed to cheat without anyone else noticing, and Dominica pretty much melted into a big puddle of goop when I told her that the two of us used pictures of each other for the project. After that happened I tried to ram it into her head ten million times over that nothing was going on between the two of us in that way. She still didn't seem convinced, and after that happened I didn't know what else I could say or do to persuade her otherwise. It was a battle I was always going to lose.

That evening, Dominica had come over to watch movies at my house. She called it a 'girl's movie night'. I didn't really understand the point of giving it a name, but I decided I shouldn't question it since I had never done anything like this before. If I did know, I would've set some ground rules, which would've prohibited discussions about Embry and me. As soon as she brought it up I knew I was in trouble. She went on to tell me about how she thought I should go on a date with him and how Quil agreed with her. I took a mental note of the fact that she seemed to mention Quil any time she could. I wondered if she was starting to like him just as she assumed I liked Embry, which I didn't….because we were friends.

I could not look at him as anything more than a friend.

And yet I stayed up into the late hours of the night, imagining what kind of date the two of us would go on if it ever happened. I thought about the look he had in his eyes the other day, a look filled with fervor and zeal that could only be meant for someone you cared for more than just a friend. It made me shiver whenever I pictured it. It made my fingertips tingle and my toes curl from the intensity of it.

On Saturday, I had woken up feeling confused and tired. I had so many things rolling around in my head that it made me feel like I was spinning continuously. Needless to say, I needed to talk to my best friend about all of this.

I walked through the automatic doors of the hospital feeling a million different things at once. The smell of it all made my nose curl in disgust and the memories hit me like a ton of bricks. I stopped walking as soon as it happened, and mom squeezed my shoulder to comfort me. She knew not to push me, and that it was best to not ask about it. She was probably feeling the same way I was.

We didn't ask for directions as we headed straight for the elevators. There was no need to ask since we knew this hospital like the back of our hands. I sipped my smoothie as we climbed to the fourth floor, my foot tapping lightly the whole way up. I tried to think about anything other than the terrible memories I have of being in these elevators, but of course my attempts were useless.

I was usually in a wheelchair or in my bed as they transported me to different areas of the hospital to have different tests performed on me. I had gone in these elevators with Caleb a few times to escape the nurses and have some alone time. We had hit the emergency stop button once or twice and made out. It was sad to think that we resorted to making out in a God damn elevator. Life tends to get depressing when it's confined to the four walls of a hospital though.

When I saw Amaya sitting in the blue leather recliner in the chemotherapy room, I tried my best to make the memories go away. I was not going to think about that. I was going to think about here and now and I was going to be happy.

"Hi Mrs. Hayashi," I waved to her mom.

She got up from her chair and mustered up the best smile she could manage given the circumstances, "We've gone over this before, Ali. You can call me Kira. I think we've known each other long enough."

She hugged me tightly, and I stuck my tongue out at Amaya over her mother's shoulder. She blew me a kiss from her seat, the IV in her arm indicating that she had already started.

"Sorry, it's a habit of mine."

She pulled away and kissed me on the cheek, "How have you been? Amaya told me a bit about school."

"I've been good, and school's been great. I'm starting to understand why everyone hates high school now though."

"I warned you," Amaya said, her voice a bit scratchy.

"Yeah, you did," I went to take the seat beside her as Kira went to talk to mom, setting my backpack beside me when I got settled. I grabbed the purple smoothie from the cardboard cup tray and handed it to her. She took a sip immediately, which meant that she wasn't getting nauseous yet.

"How is it going?" I asked her, lifting my chin towards the IV bag above her head.

The yellow scarf that covered her head slipped back a bit as she sunk further into the chair, "Only twenty minutes into it so far. I'm guessing by the hour mark I'll start to feel something."

Mom and Kira told us they would be in the cafeteria and left us two alone. As soon as they were gone I scooted my chair closer to Amaya's and set my smoothie on the table in between us.

"So, tell me everything!" her eyes grew wide and her face lit up.

I rolled my eyes at her and groaned, "Amaya, I've told you everything…twice."

"Over the phone," she shoved me, "I want to hear it from you in person!"

I didn't really want to go through it again, but we had a lot of time to waste, and if she wanted to hear stories about my first week of school then I was going to have to grin and bear it. I went through everything in detail once more, describing my first day and meeting Dominica and Embry and their other friends and explaining what had happened after I talked to her on the phone. She barely blinked as I spoke about going to Embry's house and passing notes in class. Her sound effects amused me whenever she would react to a certain part of the story.

Once I was finished I fumbled around in my backpack and pulled out the drawing Embry had given me, handing it to her with a bit of resistance, because I didn't want it to be ruined with smudges. Her eyes scanned over the paper wildly, dashing from left to right and corner to corner.

"Oh my God! He can draw!" I winced at the sound of her high pitched squeal. When I looked around the room I saw that most of the people were either passed out or staring directly at the two of us. I sent them sorrowful glances as my best friend continued to make annoying noises.

"We're in a hospital, Amaya not at a Justin Bieber concert. Please refrain yourself from screaming so close to my ear," I rubbed my ear jokingly.

She shrugged it off like she didn't even care, "I can't believe this. I can't believe you're not going on a date with him yet," I opened my mouth to defend myself, but she held up her finger and stopped me, "I don't want to hear your shitty arguments. You would have to be an idiot to think he's not interested in you. This picture right her," she pointed to the paper, "is proof that he definitely is."

I took another sip of my smoothie to hide the superior grin that was slowly making its way onto my face. My heart began to gain confidence from her words, and it beat proudly against my rib cage. I tried my hardest to fight against it, holding my breath a bit to try to slow down my pulse. The image of Embry's brown eyes appeared again, and a chill ran down my spine when I thought about the way they pierced right through me, exposing me in a way I didn't like to be exposed.

I closed my eyes and shook my head rapidly from left to right a few times, erasing the image from my mind.

"I don't consider him anything more than a friend."

She almost spit the smoothie right out of her mouth from the laughter that erupted from within her. She managed to swallow down the drink before continuing her laughing fit, "That's funny," she said in between laughs, "I thought you just said you don't think of him as more than a friend."

"I don't," I said seriously, "I can't."

"And why can't you?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

I pursed my lips and drummed my fingers on the table beside us, "You know why."

She rolled her eyes at me and took a deep breath, "Ali, you're being stupid."

"Am I?"

"Yes, you are," she assured me, "Really stupid."

I curled my legs up close to my chest and hugged my knees tightly, blurting out everything that I had been thinking about last night, "There's no way we could ever work right together. He's handsome and outgoing and kind, while I'm just plain and uninteresting and a ticking time bomb. There are no guarantees with me, and I don't want to be held responsible for singlehandedly ruining his life. I'm not going to pull him into this mess."

She closed her eyes and clenched her jaw. I could tell she was starting to get a bit uncomfortable. I knew that feeling all too well. After a couple of minutes she smiled and looked back at me again, "You are dumb."

I grunted, "I'm serious, Amaya."

She let out a sigh before she reached over and grabbed my hand, "I know you are. If anyone knows how you're feeling, it's me," she looked back down at the drawing in her lap, her smile beginning to fade, "Of course there are no guarantees. There never are for people like you and me. You can hate it all you want, you can call cancer an asshole and tell it to go fuck itself, but it won't change anything. We have to just deal with the fact that we are not guaranteed a long and healthy life. The odds of that happening to us are much lower than they are for other people. Your odds are not as good as Embry's, and my odds are not as good as yours. It's just the way it is," she paused for a moment, a bed of sweat settling on her forehead from the pain she was in, "You can't make decisions for him, Ali. It's his choice whether he wants to take a risk and be with a ticking time bomb or not. He has to decide if he's going to take the blow or save himself. Like I said before, it's the ones who surprise you that stick by your side. He's already surprised you in more ways than one."

I looked to my friend with tears in my eyes. I clutched her hand in mine like I would fall apart if I wasn't holding it. Her words hit me hard, and I couldn't stop thinking about what she had said about odds and no guarantees. She believed that her odds were worse than mine. She just confessed to me that her hope was beginning to dwindle. Both of us had been avoiding any conversations that had to do with the tumors in her brain. Beating cancer the first time is considered a miracle; beating it a second time is nearly impossible. She and I both knew it was true, but we couldn't openly admit it. Her words basically just did that very thing.

I looked up at the ceiling to stop the tears from falling, because this definitely was not the time to cry. A chemotherapy room was probably the worst possible place for that. People did not want to see tears here, they wanted to see smiles and they wanted to see hope.

"So, I should tell him about all of it then…to let him decide?"

When I looked back at her I didn't see any trace of sadness or fear on her face. Her composure helped me to gain mine again, "Only when you're ready. Personally, I would've told him already, just to get it all out in the open, but I know you're much more reserved than I am."

I bit my lip and felt my nerves begin to take control, "I just want him to know who I am first. You know how it is, people look at you differently when they find out you have or had cancer. I really don't want anyone to treat me differently because of it."

She snorted, "Yeah, you're right. When people know they start throwing you pity parties left and right."

"Those are the worst kinds of parties."

"It's sickening."

We looked to each other after a beat and began laughing together at the sorry excuse for a joke. After a couple of minutes filled with laughter, Amaya laid her head back and shut her eyes, squeezing my hand for a second before releasing it. She swallowed and breathed through her nose, and I immediately went to grab a pan. As soon as the pan was in front of her face she vomited anything left in her stomach, and I patted her back lightly until it was over with.

A nurse brought over a damp cloth and I dabbed the sides of her mouth with it to get rid of any leftovers. When the wave of nausea finally went away I grabbed a stick of gum out of my backpack and gave it to her to chew on.

"There goes my blueberry deliciousness," she mumbled.

I grinned at her, "I'll buy you another one when this is all over."

She held a thumbs up to me and closed her eyes again, "I might pass out in a few minutes."

"Go ahead, I have some homework to do anyways."

She forced her eyes open again and blinked several times to try to get rid of the sleep, "No, wait. You said you would bring your camera."

"I did."

"Show me what he looks like! I've been kept in the dark for way too long!"

Her enthusiasm would probably be short lived, and this random burst of energy she got would go away once more of the chemo dripped into her veins. I figured I should just do what she asked before she crashed, even though I was a bit hesitant to see how she would react to the pictures.

I pulled out the camera and handed it over to her once I landed on my favorite picture of him from the bunch. Her eyes widened a bit, and my cheeks became redder and redder the longer she gaped at the photo for.

"Holy shit!" her jaw dropped, "This guy is sex on a stick!"

I cringed at her choice of words, choosing not to reveal that I semi agreed with her on that. When she handed the camera back to me she looked extremely smug and wriggled her eyebrows in delight.

"You are a weirdo," I admitted.

"And you are insane. I have no idea how you've lasted a week without jumping that god."

I fought against the urge to smile, failing miserably as soon as I looked down at the camera in my hands, "It's not that difficult considering the fact that I don't even think of him in that way."

"Again with the jokes. You're honestly the funniest person I know."

I turned the camera off and put it back into my bag, realizing that my head was beginning to lose the battle with my heart. It started to become clear to me that I didn't really feel like fighting with it anymore.

I looked over the problem again, tapping my chin as the numbers raced through my brain. I wrote down one path I could take to get to the answer and erased it as soon as a zero appeared as the denominator of the fraction. I was ready to pull my hair out at this point. I've been looking at this same damn problem for nearly twenty minutes and I still can't figure it out. The first couple of homework assignments were easy for me. The one I'm working on now is making me question if I'm really as good at this as I thought I was.

My thoughts were beginning to flee in ten different directions when my phone rang.

I quickly grabbed it and answered the call before the noise could wake Amaya up, "Hello?" I whispered.

"Hey, Ali."

I closed my book as soon as I heard Embry's voice, feeling grateful that he called just when I needed a distraction, "Hey," I curled up in my chair and smiled, "How's your Saturday been going?"

"Terrible. I haven't been insulted once yet."

I chortled, "Okay, let me think of one right now," I clicked my tongue and dragged out the silence to make it seem like I was conjuring up a really great insult, "You know what I noticed yesterday?"

"What?"

"Your laugh sounds like a moaning goat."

He didn't burst out into laughter like I initially thought he would, and I assumed it was because I had just insulted the way he did it. I imagined him sitting there scratching his head and wondering if I was lying, blushing like he did when I complimented his drawings. I looked over at Amaya, knowing she would've given me a high five for being able to stump the 'god' on the other line.

After a few moments of dead air I got a bit worried, "Embry?"

"Are you seriously suggesting I sound like a farm animal when I laugh?"

I chuckled, "Yeah, it's really amusing," he muttered a few things to himself that I couldn't hear through the phone, "Was that insult good enough for you?"

He left my question unanswered, "Are you being serious?"

"Why? Did that one actually hurt?"

"Yeah, my ego is severely bruised now, thanks a lot."

I smiled even wider at that, "No, that wasn't entirely true," I answered.

"Entirely? So, what, I sort of sound like a moaning goat when I laugh?"

"Sure," I loved being on this end of the spectrum, "you could say that."

He let out a growl, and I tried, with all the power I had in me, to refrain myself from adding on to his embarrassment by giggling like a little school girl, "You're lucky I like you, or else I would seriously kick your ass for making fun of my laugh."

My whole body froze from what I had just heard him say, the thought of giggling and moaning goats completely forgotten. My mind soon became flooded with a bunch of questions that had no hope of being answered. Was he just being playful? Or did he really mean that? Was it a friendly sort of like? Or was it more?

When I opened my mouth to try to respond, nothing came out. I searched for something good to say, some sort of snarky remark to shoot back at him so that the conversation would keep flowing in a friendly direction, but I was rendered speechless by his words. I could not stop questioning his motive for saying that to me.

I looked over at Amaya again, wishing she would wake up for just a moment and tell me what to say next. I didn't think I could recover and return back to my normal, insulting self without her help.

My plans to rudely awaken Amaya were soon stopped by Embry's voice, "So…I was just wondering if uh," his voice sounded a bit shaky, like he was at a loss for words as much as I was, "if…you wanted to go out with me tonight?"

I felt my heart stop inside of my chest. I stopped breathing altogether, and I looked around, frantic, wondering if anyone would come over to resuscitate me. I knew for certain that I was dreaming all of this. I had fallen asleep while doing my homework by accident and my mind was fantasizing about the one thing I did and didn't want to happen. Embry Call did not just ask me to go out with him. I was making it all up.

"Is that a no?"

I pulled the phone away from my ear and stared at it in disbelief. My eyes moved across the room again, looking for something to confirm that this was not real. There was nothing that looked like it could only be part of a dream, nothing that seemed out of the ordinary except for the question I had just been asked.

I took a minute to gather my thoughts, and I tried my best to make myself believe that this was all happening right now. This was not a dream or a figment of my imagination. This was real.

For a second, I just relished in the fact that I was actually being asked out by the most gorgeous human being on the planet. Then, once I really thought about today and about tonight, I could not help but feel a bit disappointed.

"Okay, looks like I've just been rejected."

I took a deep breath and opened my mouth, the words finally beginning to spill out, "Sorry, I just…dropped my phone," good one.

"Oh," he said, "so…do you want to?"

The battle raged on inside of me with my heart saying yes and my head saying no. To my heart's dismay, I had to let my head win this round.

"I can't tonight. I have to watch my little brother because my parents are going out."

It was a valid reason, and it was something that I had promised I would do. My parents had been planning a night to themselves for a while now, and I told them that I would stay home and watch Kevin so that they could have a date night. They deserved it, and I couldn't take that away from them.

As much as I wanted to say that I felt good about my answer, that my plan to stay friends with him was a firm one that I stuck by, I could not find it in me to admit that. The deflated feeling inside of me didn't allow me to do so.

"Right," he sounded disappointed, and I felt horrible knowing that I was the one who caused his voice to sound that way, "Well, I guess that was stupid."

"Embry, believe me if I could I would say yes."

Wait, what? I would? Where did that come from?

"Its fine, I understand."

I slapped my palm onto my forehead, his sad voice making me want to punch myself in the face repeatedly.

"If you want I could come over and keep you company," he offered.

I let his words sink in, feeling the butterflies flutter in my stomach like I had the first time I saw him. My lips parted slightly to form a small smile, and I felt somewhat better and more comfortable with what he had just suggested, "Yeah, okay. That sounds good."

"Okay," he replied, "What time should I be there then?"

"Um," my face was ready to split in two from how wide my smile was getting, "How about around seven? It'll give me enough time to give Kevin a bath and everything."

"Alright, I'll be there at seven. Now you'll be forced to put up with my moaning goat laugh and burnt toast skin for the whole night."

I chuckled, "I'm going to have to prepare for that. Maybe do some breathing exercises."

"Because I take your breath away."

"No," I began to blush, the blood pumping quickly to my cheeks.

"You're a pathological liar, Ali. It's okay though, I'm willing to look beyond that."

"I am not-,"

"Okay, see you at seven! Bye!"

And then the line went dead.

I sat there for a little while, feeling completely baffled by what just happened and trying to process what I had just agreed to. Embry Call was coming over to my house tonight. Embry Call would be inside of my humble abode as of seven o'clock this evening.

"Told you he would ask you out by the end of the week."

My head shot up in a rush and I glared at my best friend who was supposed to be sleeping, "How much of that did you hear?"

"Oh, you know, just the parts where you called him a moaning goat and agreed to have him over at your house tonight."

"Really, Amaya? The whole damn time?"

She laughed in her seat, clutching her stomach, "I should win an award for best actress in a sleeping role, because it took a lot for me to not scream at you in your face."

I rolled my eyes and grumbled as she continued to make fun of me, my mind full of possibilities for what was to come.

By the time I finished bathing Kevin and changing him into his pajamas it was already ten minutes to seven. I brought him downstairs into the living room and let him play with his action figures on the carpet so I could make sure I looked at least a little bit presentable. I ran into the bathroom and checked over myself in the mirror. For the most part I looked fine, except my hair was a bit disheveled and I resembled a ghost from how pale I was. I figured I would be blushing soon enough, so I didn't really worry about it.

I sat on the couch and watched Kevin play while I waited. My hands were shaking a bit from the nerves, and I began to focus on my breathing to try to calm down. I was actually doing breathing exercises...

Yes, Embry Call did take my breath away.

"Sissy, who is comin' over?" Kevin shook my leg and stared up at my face curiously.

"I told you already," I watched as he climbed up onto the couch beside me, "My friend, Embry."

"Embwe?"

I laughed at his mispronunciation, "Yeah, Embry."

He curled up into my lap with Spiderman in his hand, shocker, and began to make whooshing noises as Spiderman flew around his head. Watching him play helped calm me a little, and I tried my hardest to keep my anxiety at bay as I waited for Embry to show up. It was difficult, to say the least. I kept thinking about the possibility of him not showing up at all, about him blowing me off to go hang out with some other girl who was better than I was. He was the one who suggested it though. It was all his idea from the beginning, so he had to show up.

Then my thoughts took a turn for the worse, and I began to question his motive behind offering to come over here. Did he think we would just hang out as friends or did he think it would be heading in a different direction? A direction that led to us being more than that. I mean, really, I had my little brother here, so if it was supposed to be something we did as more than friends then it was a terrible idea.

No, it was just us hanging out as friends. That's what I drilled into my parents' heads before they left and that's what I was going to force myself to believe.

He might've asked me out, but this was not a date. This was in no way, shape, or form a date.

When the doorbell finally rang I had to take a few calming breaths before I could even consider getting up from the couch. Kevin was scrambling out of my lap and already heading to the door, and I didn't even have time to finish my preparation before he reached up and turned the knob.

"Hey, little man."

I darted off of the couch and stood behind my brother, "Kevin, you're not supposed to open the door for people you don't know."

"He's Embwe," he looked up at me with pouty lips and a scrunched up nose.

I scooped him up in my arms and let him hang off of my hip, forcing myself to look up, "Yeah, but he could've been a bad guy too. Next time let me do it."

Embry smiled at me as he leaned against the doorway, dressed in dark washed jeans and a simple black t-shirt. The color of the shirt made his skin stand out, and I tried not to stare at the bulging muscles on his arms that looked like they would rip the sleeve at any given time.

"He could've been the Green Goblin coming to destroy you and you wouldn't even know it," I looked to Embry, raising an eyebrow at him to try to get him to catch on. He stared at me in that intense way that he always did, barely even paying attention to what I was saying, "Right, Embry?" I kicked his shin so he would snap out of it. My foot soon began to throb from the simple maneuver.

His eyes darted down to his leg before he looked back up again, clearing his throat, "Uh, yeah, right. Never open the door for strangers. It's some advice I got from Spiderman. He didn't listen once and almost got beaten up because of it."

"Spiduhman?" my brother's eyes lit up.

Embry finally took a step inside the house, his gaze landing on Kevin, "Yeah, him and I are buddies. He taught me how to scale buildings and take out bad guys."

I laughed, "Sissy, your friend knows Spiduhman?" Kevin cupped his hand around my ear and whispered to me, and I heard Embry chuckle.

"Apparently, he does," I closed the door and set Kevin on his feet again, watching him scurry over to his toys before turning back to Embry, "Thanks for that. I'm warning you though, he's a maniac when it comes to Spiderman, so be prepared to answer millions of questions on your supposed friendship with him."

"Hey, we are friends. He came over to my house before and brought these," he held up a few DVDs in his hands.

"Oh, really? His cartoons? How nice of him."

Kevin ran back over to us with a couple of action figures in his hands, standing directly in front of Embry, "What's that?" he asked, pointing to the DVDs.

"See, now he's going to latch onto you," I whispered to him.

"Fine with me. Maybe I'll have someone on my side the next time you insult me then."

"I doubt it, he's known me longer."

"Well, I'm friends with Spiderman so I think that means I win," he smirked at me and handed one of the DVDs over to Kevin.

I glared at him, feeling more relaxed now than I did before. I could see that a pattern was starting to form. Every time I talked to Embry it seemed to happen where I would initially freak out and then things would be completely fine after the conversation started. It was strange how simply him being here could ease my nerves and wash my worries away.

"Sissy, can we watch these! Pwease!" Kevin tugged on my arms as he jumped up and down happily.

I broke my eye contact with Embry and nodded to my brother, "Yeah, we can watch it until you fall asleep."

"I don't want to fall asleep."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head as I looked back at Embry, "He always claims that he's not tired. Every single time I ask him he says no and then five seconds later he's knocked out."

He laughed, "My friend's niece does the same thing."

"Really?"

He nodded, "Claire always asks for Quil. She only falls asleep when he's around. Otherwise, she kicks and screams about it, which bugs the shi- uh, stuff, out of her parents."

I popped the DVD into the DVD player and sat on the couch next to Embry, "Quil? Is he her brother or something?"

"No, not exactly. It's a bit hard to explain."

"Oh," I sunk back into the cushions and stared up at him, my eyes grazing over every inch of his face. I wanted to ask him more, to delve into more conversations about his family and friends and his life in general. I was always interested in learning more about him. However, I didn't have a chance to ask much of anything when Kevin sat right in the small space between the two of us.

"Play it now!" he demanded.

"Yeah, play it now!" Embry sneered at me.

I pressed the play button as I shot daggers at him, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize we had two four year olds in the house."

"Shh, it's starting," he whispered with a finger held up to his smiling lips.

I rolled my eyes and looked at the television as the cartoon began. I didn't pay attention to what was on the screen, and the whole time I just watched as my brother whispered questions to Embry and the two of them reacted to certain parts together. It was amusing to me, and I felt myself fill with warmth from the sight of it.

After about fifteen minutes of watching Spiderman catch bad guys and swing from webs, Kevin managed to doze off right in Embry's lap. He didn't seem to mind it one bit, and began to rub his back in a soothing way that made the flutter of wings in my stomach quicken its pace.

"I told you he would crash," I whispered.

His eyes met mine and he grinned, "I think he might actually like me."

"You think?" I asked rhetorically.

We both sat there in silence, the cartoons posing as background music. I couldn't stop staring at the scene right before my eyes, a scene that I would store in my head for the rest of my days. Seeing how Embry treated my brother made me like the person he was even more. It made the whole plan to be just friends seem entirely moronic.

"I should bring him upstairs," I said.

"I got it," he picked Kevin up in his arms easily and I followed quietly behind him. I directed him to where Kevin's room was and pulled the sheets back once we were there. Embry gently placed him on the bed and I tucked him in, placing a kiss on his forehead before turning out the lights and leaving. I leaned up against the wall right outside the door so that I was facing Embry, whose stance mimicked mine.

"Thank you," I crossed my arms over my chest, "for offering to come over and everything."

"You're welcome," he replied, the warmth of his skin radiating off of him, "Do you want to watch a movie?"

I shrugged, "As long as it's not some chick flick. I hate those."

"Seriously? You don't strike me as a chick flick hater."

I snorted, "I'm not into watching that fluffy stuff. It makes me nauseous."

He stood up straight and I did the same, the two of us heading back to the living room, "Not a hopeless romantic I see."

"I guess not. I mean, I don't know," I glanced his way before looking straight ahead of us, "I could be."

After debating between two different horror films that were on TV we settled on The Collector, which I had never seen before. Embry said it was actually pretty disgusting and made him cringe when he first saw it, and after the first half hour I agreed with him one hundred percent. There was blood and intestines and cats being mauled and blood curdling screams and I was squirming the whole time. I wasn't usually scared when it came to horror films, but this one had me glancing over Embry's shoulder every two seconds to be sure no one was going to come in here and set up traps all over the exits.

I'm pretty sure that's half of the reason why he was so adamant about watching it, because he knew I would freak out and found pleasure in watching me do it. Either that or he was doing what every guy did while watching a scary movie with a girl, looking for an excuse to cuddle right up next to her to calm her fears.

When his hand inched towards mine on the couch I didn't know that's what he was planning to do. It wasn't until his hand was on top of mine that I became aware of his plans. Suddenly, I was no longer paying attention to the gore before my eyes, I was focused on him.

His fingers made their way up my wrist before settling on my forearm. I looked down to where the bumps were beginning to rise on my skin, barely having time to think before I was being pulled underneath the crook of his arm. I stiffened for the first few seconds that I was surrounded by his warmth, not exactly knowing how to react. Then I became much more comfortable and open to the idea, and I was soon resting my head on his chest, my hand grabbing the one that he had wrapped around my waist.

We watched the rest of the movie that way…well, we watched it absentmindedly at least. I know I couldn't pay attention to what was happening anymore. I could only concentrate on his breath on my neck and the way he smelled like cologne and pine needles.

There were no more questions or doubts running through my mind, and my heart was settled as well as my butterfly-filled stomach. I felt completely content with how things were. In a way I felt whole, and I didn't ponder the reasoning behind the feeling one bit. For the first time in my life I felt that this thing between us, this connection, could not be taken away from me. His open arms, his comfort and adoration, were something I was always going to be guaranteed. It was the only thing I could count on in this world filled with cancer and uncertain paths that lie ahead.

Once the movie was over the two of us didn't make any attempt to move at all, and we settled into a comfortable silence. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to enjoy this moment right here. I didn't think about the past and what I've been through. I didn't think about odds or measures of time. I became indulged in the present and forgot about the rest.

He rested his cheek on top of my head and twined our fingers, my body rising and falling each time he took a breath. I didn't know what this meant, or if it even meant anything at all. I just knew that we were sitting together in each other's arms and it felt right, to hell with the rest.

I was unsure of how long we stayed that way. Maybe it was just minutes or maybe it was an hour. My eyes stayed closed the whole time, and I never paid attention to anything but the feeling of his warm skin. I could feel myself beginning to drift off, and I tried my hardest to keep my mind focused so that I wouldn't fall asleep. It became more and more difficult to do as time ticked on.

"Are you sleeping?" he whispered after another minute of silence.

"Yeah," I mumbled.

"Some hostess you are, falling asleep when you have a guest over," I felt him shift beneath me.

"Sorry, it's your fault for being such a good pillow."

He chuckled lightly, and in less than a second I was no longer sitting on the couch, my weight supported by his arms. I opened my eyes halfway to see that he was carrying me towards the stairs.

"Put me down you freak," my voice was way too soft to make that actually sound like some sort of argument or protest against what he was doing.

"Damn, so hostile. I like it."

I stared at the smug smile he was wearing, "Don't act like you're not intimidated by me."

"Believe me, I am," his eyes settled on mine, "A girl who weighs about eighty pounds and is about a foot shorter than me is really intimidating."

"I don't weigh eighty pounds."

"Really? 'Cause you feel like you do."

He carried me all the way to my room, placing me down on my bed. I looked up at him, having to crane my neck to actually see his face because he was so tall. His eyes scanned the four walls of my room before landing on me again.

"I put you in here to sleep, now sleep," he demanded.

I did feel tired, but I still didn't want to listen to him, "I can't sleep. What if Kevin wakes up?"

He shrugged, putting his hands in the pockets of his jeans, "If I hear him I'll wake you up."

"But-,"

"Ali, shut up."

I did as I was told, clamping my mouth shut. As I fluffed my pillow and rested my head on top of it I kept my eyes on him, wondering why he was still standing there.

"Will you at least sit down? I don't think I can sleep with you standing over me like that the whole time."

He smiled at me as he lowered himself onto the bed, "If you insist."

His huge body took up more than half of the bed, and the close quarters forced me to be smashed up against his side. Believe me, it was not my choice….there was no other way we could both fit…

Yeah…sure…

"Purple walls, I never would've guessed," he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and I closed my eyes again.

"Purple is a great color."

"Your favorite."

"Yup," I breathed in his scent that was now completely surrounding me, "You've never told me what yours is, you know."

Even with my eyes closed I could feel that his were fixed on me, penetrating me like they had the other day, "Green."

Green.

The color swirled before my eyelids, and as I drifted off to sleep it was the only thing I could concentrate on. I dreamed of green trees blowing in the wind, and I smelled the sweet aroma of green grass. I dreamed of a world full of green, a world that was peaceful and serene. A world that included Embry and nothing else.

I'm pretty sure the next chapter will be in Embry's POV. Simply because I think it would be good to hear from him. Also, there is something in her room that will change the dynamic of things a little bit...anyone know what it is?

Yes, this chapter was very long. All of my chapters are long. I keep wondering if I should make them shorter or not, but when I think about updates on here and all of the people who wait for them (well not necessarily wait but you get the point) I think it's better to write a lot so that you guys are tied over until the next update. I'm not sure if you guys like the length or not. And I always ask for opinions on this so if you feel like it let me know.

Also, I just want to clarify that Amaya is 18 years old in this and Caleb was 18 when he died. So Amaya already graduated high school before the tumors. I really am loving the way her character is turning out. She seems to be the moral compass of the story to me...

And one more important thing. Lately I have been really annoyed when I read over my stuff and I see that I write 'ok' instead of 'okay' in the story. it's pissing me off, so I'm pretty sure I'm going to go through the previous chapters and change all of the 'oks' to 'okays' instead because it just sounds better when you read it that way.

Okay?

Okay.

(SOBS UNCONTROLLABLY)

Sorry this AN was so damn long. I always seem to rant...

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