Tangled Hearts

by Flora Mile

Bella life was everything she had dreamed it to be, a successful writer, a fiancé and everything is going the way she wants it. Until one unfaithful night changed it all. Edward has seen enough tragedy, the loss of his parents, now his brother. When their paths cross, will either of them be left standing or will they truly heal?

9. Children reinvent your world for you

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot of the Twilight Saga are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. The storyline of Tangled Hearts is all mine.

WARNING: This story is M+ rated so if you are not over the age of 18+ please do not read any further.

I would like to thank both Kasi (TeamAllTwilight) and Laura (Momma Laura) my pre-readers and betas that have graciously offered to help me with my story.

Michele (PeopleLikeUs or JustGinger), I would like to think you for all your encouragement on getting this story off the ground and posted.

Go check out their stories!

Tangled Hearts – Chapter 8

Children reinvent your world for you.

June 2010

EPOV

It was Sunday night dinner, and I had to tell the rest of the family what I was going to do. I was not looking forward to it. I knew there would be a lot of shouting and arguing, but I really did think it was what's best for Tia and Ben. They were the only ones I was looking out for and not myself. I knew that some of them would think I was selfish and not stepping up to the plate, but my number one priority was the twins.

Everyone seemed to be at ease as we all sat around the table. Tia was sitting beside me, and Ben was beside her. They seemed to be having a good time, and I wondered how long that would last. I was used to helping them at meal times, and today was no different; I would cut up Tia's meat without realising it and would lean over to do the same to Ben's plate. When I looked back up at the family, they all seemed to be staring at me.

"What?" I was wondering what they were all looking at.

"Oh, nothing dear," Esme said.

I went back to eating, ignoring everyone looking at me.

Everyone around me was in different conversations, and I was all alone. Even Tia and Ben were talking to each other. Jasper and Alice were talking about where they were going to go for the holidays. By the sounds of it, they were either heading to Hawaii or the Canadian Rockies. Emmett and Rose sounded like they had decided to go to Briarcliff Manor, and Emmett was telling her what he had planned for them to do while they were there. Esme was talking to Carlisle about the fundraiser she was helping to plan, and in return, he was asking her when she wanted to visit everyone while they were on holidays.

I was feeling more alone than I usually did. I was going nowhere. I had no plans, I had no one, and it only made it more final why I should not have the twins. I had no one to share anything with. Yes, it was my own fault; I put myself in this position! If I was truly honest with myself, I knew I was waiting for a love like everyone else had sitting around the table. I wanted my soul mate, but like everything else in life, I knew if I found her, she would eventually be taken away from me. So what was the point in looking?

"Ladies, why don't you help me clean up; Jasper and Emmett, could you take the kids upstairs and get them settled in front of a movie?" Esme asked. "Edward, Carlisle, can you please start the coffees, and we can all go to the lounge to visit."

I picked up my plate and the twins' plates and walked into the kitchen to get started on the coffee. I was off in my own world, and I did not hear Carlisle talking to me until I felt his hand on my shoulder.

"Edward, are you alright? Can I help with anything?"

"No thank you. I am okay. I was thinking about telling the family what we spoke about yesterday. I know they're going to be angry with me, but I need to be honest with them. I just don't know how to start this conversation."

"Son, everything will work out for the best. You just need to listen to what they have to say, and most of all, don't be angry with them. It's not going to help your cause. You need to be honest; you need to open up to them and let them see the real you. None of us has seen the old Edward for some time now. They all grasped what you have been through, but Edward, I am going to be honest, you need to open up and let us help you. Whether or not Jasper and Emmett agree or not. You have to be prepared for them to say no to taking on the twins. I am sure they will be angry–but allow them to be. Listen to their explanations, and hear what they are saying to you as well. Don't close yourself off by being defensive. It will not help you or them."

I knew Carlisle was right, but I knew Emmett and Jasper, and I knew they would not say no to this, at least I was hoping they would not say no.

I had made everyone's coffee on auto pilot with Esme's Java machine. Alice and Rose had Cappuccinos, Esme loved her Flat White, and we men love a good espresso with a splash of Grappa.

I placed all the coffees onto the serving tray and took them into the formal living room. This was Esme's ritual whenever we came for dinner. It was usually nice to sit with family and talk, but I was not too sure about today's topic of conversation.

Once everyone was seated and the coffees handed out, the room fell into an uncomfortable silence. Everyone was looking at everyone else to see who would start the conversation. Well, no time like the present to get the ball rolling. So I cleared my throat and dove in head first.

"Jasper, Em, Ali, and Rose, last night after I dropped the kids off to you, I came here and had a chat with Esme and Carlisle." I was fidgeting with my coffee cup. Why was this so hard to tell them? "I'm going to tell you what I spoke to them about, and I'd like you to listen to what I have to say before you judge me. Once I'm done, I'll listen to what you have to say. I don't want to argue or fight with any of you, but you need to hear me out first. I'll apologize now in case I stumble though this, so I am sorry."

I took a deep breath settled my cup on the tray and wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans. I let my breath out slowly and looked straight ahead of me into four pairs of anxious eyes.

"Over the last week, I've been trying my hardest to look after Tia and Ben. I've done everything in my power to get them to talk to me. I've had no luck whatsoever. I haven't been able to get behind the walls they have put up. They don't listen to anything I have to say, they don't want to eat anything I give them, and they have their own secret way of communicating just as you all seem to do. I know that they have lost their parents, hell - I've lost parents and now their parents as well. I understand what they are going though. I thought I could help them, and I knew it was going to be tough, but I never expected to be ignored." I ran my hand though my hair; a pair of three year-olds has defeated me.

"This is the hard part, what I am going to ask and say to you! I... Will... Crap this is so hard, I am sorry." I blew out my breath and tried again. "I am here to ask either of you if you would like to take over guardianship of Tia and Ben. If none of you will do it, I will be forced to put them up for foster care or adoption." I heard both Rose and Alice gasp at what I have just said, and I took a chance and looked at Emmett and Jasper. They both looked like they were going to rip me a new one.

"Before you get angry at me, I'd like to explain why I feel this is best. I cannot be their mother and father. They need a happy and secure home, and I'm not able to give them that. They need a couple to show them love, happiness, and a future that is safe. I am none of those. I am, at the moment, an angry bitter man and am asking why I should be here instead of my brother. What have I done that allows me to be here instead of Alec and Jane? They had a family, and me? I have nothing but my work and the woman I pick up on the occasional weekend. So why do I deserve to be here instead of them? Why am I still here? I would give myself up to have them back here for their children who I don't even know, have not spent enough time with to know apart from the holidays and birthdays. Why..." I knew the tears where running down my face again, but I was not going to stop until I had said everything to convince them to take the kids.

"I have prayed to the man above to help with the decision, and it was a tough one. Every night this week those two kids have woken up with nightmares. It got to the point that I would just put them into my bed instead of the spare room–to see if it would make a difference. The only change is that I did not have to run far. I asked if they wanted to speak to someone, and that started both of them crying and yelling at me. See? I am no good at this, everything I do is wrong. I don't understand why Alec trusted me with their future. I was no good–as a son. I thought I was a good brother, but I seemed to have failed at that, and now I am going to destroy two three-year-olds. I can't have that on my conscience, I won't do it to them, and I sure as hell won't do it to me." I had run out of steam, I had nothing more to say, I am not sure they could understand what I was saying anyway, I was a blubbering idiot, this was not who I was. I am strong, confident person; I have aspirations and goals that I follow and stick to, and I am not this weak depressed person that is sitting here in front of my family.

I tried to pull myself together and face my family. I wiped my eyes, blew my nose, and straighten my back. I looked around the room, and I noticed everyone was doing the same, pulling themselves together.

Emmett was the first person to speak.

"I am sure we do not understand fully what you are going through, Edward, but I personally feel you need to start speaking to someone. You need to get all the hurt, anger and self-loathing out. You are worthy of love! You are worthy of happiness, and you damn well are worthy of living out your dreams. It is time for you to start letting down your guard around your heart and start living your life instead of just being. You are a successful and wanted heart surgeon, it is now time you put that effort into your personal life. I want my brother back the one I had before your parents died. You used to be so carefree; you used to enjoy life, you don't too that anymore. You just got through the motions, and it breaks my heart man. I can't watch you do this to yourself anymore. You need to see someone Edward. You need to break this now before you spiral down further, how could you ever expect to find your love and happiness, when you are closed off? I love you, just as I love Jasper, you are my brother and when you hurt, I hurt."

All I could do was nod and look into his eyes, he was serious. Emmett was laying it out there for me to see. I was getting it loud and clear. I knew I needed help to get past the pain but my pride was getting in the way.

"I second everything Emmett, just said, Edward," Jasper said. "The only thing I have to add is, I don't think you should give up the kids. I feel you need them now more than you realize. Once they get over the shock of what has happened to their parents, they will bring laughter and joy into your life. They will look up to you and want to be you. They will need you to show them to do certain things. For example, Ben, he is gifted at piano just like you and he will need your guidance. Tia's love for art, you can help it grow with your knowledge and passion for collecting and visiting all the shows that you do. You are good for them Edward, your self-loathing needs to stop. I have been telling you for years that you needed to speak to someone. I, like Emmett want my brother back–and I sure as hell will get him back–even if I have to kick your ass all the way to the therapist myself. You know I will get Emmett to help and on top of that I will bring Rose along to nag you!" Jasper was laughing at his own joke, while Rose slapped his shoulder.

"I do not nag!" Rose stated. "I do lecture, but only when someone does or says something stupid, and Edward? Some of what has come out of your mouth is utterly ridiculous. I have never in my life heard you say such garbage as you have today. I understand you are hurting and I will do everything in my power to help you get through that, but you need to start looking at the other side of the coin. You need to open those crystal green orbs of yours and see what you have been given. Do you know how hard it is for some people not to be able to conceive, let along be able to have two beautiful twins like you have been given? Yes, the way you were given them was not ideal. You have to learn that when life gives you lemons, you start making the fucking lemonade. Sorry Esme. Open your heart Edward let them in. I know you have not done that at all this week, and until you start doing that, those two are not going to trust you at all. And they will not communicate with anyone they don't trust."

Rose sat back into the couch. One thing I love about Rose, she says what she means and defiantly fucking means what she says. She shoots a straight arrow, and I can understand why Em loves her so. There was only one person left on that chair to tell me what she thought and I am not sure I really wanted to hear what she had to say. Alice had a way of getting under your skin and really making it itch, and I had a feeling that is what she was about to do.

"Edward, I can't say much more than what everyone else has said. But I will add, and what I am going to say might hurt but someone needs to say it. Alec and Jane would be disappointed in you if you gave up guardianship of those two precious kids. I would be disappointed in you. You need to start thinking of them–before–yourself. You need to work on your faults, you need to stand up and be the man we all know you can be. Stop being the person that lost everything, and open your eyes to see what you have gained. You have gained: us as a family, you have gained love, and most of all you have gained two little hearts that will make you proud and will be happy to call you daddy one day. It will take time, but mark my words it will happen and you know better than to bet against me!" Alice stared me down. I knew she was challenging me to say different and I knew she was right, but I did not feel that she was correct on this one. I still did not feel that I was the right person to mold Tia and Ben.

"Edward, you have heard everyone out and I know you might need time to think about it. We are not trying to back you into a corner. I feel that you should go home, think about what everyone has said, before you make your decision," Carlisle said.

"Actually, Carlisle, I don't need to think about it anymore. I know what I need to do and I have listened to what you all have said. I understand that you all want the person I was before my parents died back, but that is not going to happen. Yes I know that I need help to get myself into a better place but if you can't help me by taking the kids, than the only options is to give them up for adoption." The ladies in the room gasp. I went on and ignored them. "I will start looking on Monday for someone. I know I am disappointing you all but I can't do this." I said, as I stood up and started pacing the room.

"Edward, you seriously feel this is for the best?" Alice said.

"Yes, Alice. I feel that if you, Jasper, Rose, or Emmett cannot help me out then, I have no other choice."

"You would give those kids up to a complete stranger, someone that could and might just take everything they have and run off with it. You are a disgrace Edward. I can't believe that you're a sought after heart surgeon, when you seemingly have no heart of your own. I mean who would do this to their dead brother's kids," Rose piped in. "You deserve to be alone!"

"Don't you think I don't know that I deserve to be alone? That is what I have been trying to fucking tell you." I shouted out in anger. "That is why I wanted one of you guys to take them, and give them the love they deserve!"

"Edward, dear calm down, there is no need to shout. We hear what you are saying and getting upset over it is not going to help." Esme said, she was always the peace keeper, "and watch your language there are kids in the house and they can hear."

"Sorry, Mom." I said, as I bowed my head in disgrace.

"We seem to be going around in circles, how about we leave it here for today. Edward take the children home and try and have a good night with them. By the sounds of it, they are limited. I will talk to Rebecca at work and see who is looking to adopt. Maybe if we can find a couple that comes from the same stature as our family we might not have a problem with the children being looked by someone else. Edward this is going to take time finding the right people to look after your brother's kids, unless we all agree on the couple or person you will not be able to give them up. Are we all agreed on this?" I was not sure what game Carlisle was playing at but I would agree for now.

Everyone nodded and said yes. I walked to the door to leave the lounge to go and get Tia and Ben when I turned around, I looked at them all. I could see the disgust written all over their faces. "I am sorry that I've disappointed everyone one of you. There is nothing I can say and I know I don't deserve to be part of your family–I have shamed you for the last time. I promise that once the adoption is through, you will never have to see me again! I can see it in your eyes what you all think of me and I don't think you will want me around once I have done this. I am sorry, again."

With that I went and retrieved the twins and walked back to the lounge. Everyone was sitting there in silence waiting for me to come back. They all hugged and kissed Ben and Tia goodbye. I was too ashamed to even look at my family, so I stayed at the door. Alice was the first to come over, for a small person she sure knew how to hug. I bent down so I could hug her properly.

"You have not shamed us Edward. You just don't realize what your potential is. I love you and always will," she whispered in my ear. I could feel tears on my cheek from her. I had to stay strong and not show any weakness.

I was shocked when Rose grabbed me from Alice and hugged me like my brother used to, she must be learning from Emmett. "Never presume you know what we are thinking. You will not abandon us, and we would never you. Keep strong Edward; be the man we know you can be. Don't give up on them yet. I love you, brother." She kissed my cheek and went over and sat back down next to Alice.

Emmett walked over to me and held out his hand. "See you tomorrow at work, Eddie. I love you man." With that he bear hugged me and lifted me off the ground. "Look after them, Eddie," he said once I was back on the ground.

Jasper had me worried, he was never the emotional one, but it looked like I had beaten the crap out of his puppy. He came over and hugged me, he did not bother with a handshake, and for the first time all day I felt calm. I always got this way in his presence, and I did not realize it was something I needed. He patted my back twice and moved back and stared straight into my eyes.

"Edward, if you ever say the garbage you said before you left this room again, I will kick your ass until it is black, blue and purple. Do you hear me?"

I nodded at him.

"Good, glad to see we are on the same page. Promise me before you even start the adoption process really think about what you are doing. I am not saying don't meet people but make no decisions, without us, please. I really feel you are making a mistake and once they are out of your life, you will realize that and it will be too late. I love you, you are my brother from another mother."

I laughed at what he said and for the first time today it felt good to laugh. I shook my head at him and walked the twins to the front door.

"I will see you both during the week. I have two night shifts that are on Wednesday and Thursday. Do you mind looking after the kids?"

"Not at all dear, drop them over before you go to work," Esme said. She came to me and hugged and kissed me.

Just as I was about to walk out the door, Carlisle called out to me. "Edward, I just wanted to let you know that if I find anyone. I will give you a call."

"Thanks dad, I will speak to you tomorrow."

With that I walked out the door and to the town car waiting, I buckled the kids in and then myself, and the driver left to take us home. During the ride, I looked back on what had happened that evening and how everyone was just worried about me.

Yeah I know I have to get help, but do I really want to spend hours talking about feelings, that I truly don't even want to admit to myself?

~~~***~~~T H~~~***~~~

"Edward, are you fucking serious! I love you man! The playboy is back! It's about time you came to your senses about those to ankle-biters. I can't believe that you thought you might actually take on those rug-rats." I was listening to James rant and rave about my decision to give up the kids.

"Edward, are you listening to me man or am I talking to the wall? Because if I am talking to the wall, I am going out to bag me some!"

"James, I'm listening to you and thinking at the same time."

"Edward, when did you swap your dick for a vagina? Us men don't do two things at once, you're either listening or you're thinking, which one is it?"

"I heard every word you said, James, but I have a lot on my mind. Fuck… I can't do this tonight James, I have to go into surgery soon. I need to concentrate on some last minute preparation for it." I was starting to get agitated with James. I knew how he was going to take the news, but I don't have time for this conversation with him.

"Hey, man, back down off that horse. You and I need to talk about what you are doing. This affects me as much as you. You are my buddy! You are my pal, my wingman. We get shit faced together and bag the babes."

"James, really? When are you going to grow up? We're not in college any more. Yes, we have been wingmen for ages, but don't you want more from life? Don't you want to share it with someone?"

"Edward, you're scaring me. Where is the old Edward, the one that gets drunk, picks up the dregs of High Society, the guy that fucks and ducks? Come on man, you know you're not father material and what you are thinking of doing is good. Why should you have to take on the responsibility of those crib midgets? You were not that close to your brother anyway. So why the hell would he want someone like you to look after them? Give them to Jasper or Emmett. They seem to like those little drooling curtain climbers." James' body noticeable shivered, and I could not believe I was sitting here listening to him put my family down. My brother meant a lot to me, even though I didn't show it all the time.

"James, he was my brother. Don't disrespect him–he is not here to defend himself." I was pissed about the way he was speaking of Alec. I have lost everyone and everything. "I am going to surgery, so I'll see you later, James." I got up and left, I was beyond angry, but I couldn't let that get to me. I need to keep a level head on me.

Yes, I was an ass, but no one ever says anything bad about my family, and James knows that. I might not have been the best brother to Alec, but he knew I took my parents' death hard, and he allowed me to get away with a lot, and for that, I loved him more. What more can I say!

I was standing at the scrub sink washing my hands and arms when I started thinking about a time I had shared with my parents.

"Edward, darling, are you ready? We are leaving in twenty minutes. We can't be late for your graduation," Elizabeth said.

"Coming, Mom, I'll be there in a sec, just getting my cap and gown."

As I exited my room I ran into Alec. "Eddie, slow down, mom and dad are not going to leave without you." He said scuffing up my hair.

"Alec, it took me forever to tame it, why would you do that? You know how hard it is; you were lucky you got dad's hair. I got mom's." I whined.

"Come on bro – let's get you to school and graduated," Alec said, as he put his arm around me and lead me down the stairs. "You are now a full fledge Masen. You got three Ivy League offers, and we could not be more proud of you. I am proud to call you my younger brother. Do you know which one you are going to go to?"

I did not get time to answer; we were at the bottom of the stairs, and mom was rushing towards me. "Come on, Ed. I need to straighten your tie, and then we need to be going."

After she finished straightening my tie, she started shuffling us out the door and into the car. The ride over was full of laughter and jokes. I was glad to be finishing school and moving on with my life. I was glad to be leaving some of these people behind. I loved school and had made some wonderful friends there, but it was time to move on.

I was going to spend the break with my cousins and friends in Europe. We were heading off in three days, and I was excited.

"Ed, dear stop daydreaming, we're here at the auditorium, come on lets go and get you on stage so we can take lots of photos of you. Come on times a wasting!" my Mom said.

"Dad are we still on for the game of football tomorrow?"

"Yes, Ed, so make sure that you get a lot of rest tonight. You are going to need it!"

I took off towards the back of the auditorium, stopping to turn around to see my father take my mother in his arms. He was whispering in her ear, and I could see the love they had for each other. My father was a tall solid man and my mother was small and petite. I noticed her look up lovingly into his eyes as he rested his forehead against her and smiled at her. I knew that one day I would find the love of my life, and we would share many moments like that. She would have to be just as special as my mother, and I would care for her just like my father did for my mother.

I was brought out of my thoughts when I heard my name being called.

"Dr Masen, we are ready for you," the head nurse informed me. "Are you okay? You're looking a little pale?"

"I am fine, Sammy. I'll be there in a second. Make sure that they have my favorite Bach CD playing for me tonight."

"Got you covered, Doctor."

I shook my head to clear it and get my mind on the job. I could not be thinking about my family at this stage. I needed to go in there and do my job, even if I knew – I really wanted to be elsewhere.

~~~***~~~T H~~~***~~~

I got back to the apartment after forty straight hours of shift at the hospital. I knew I had to get the kids but I needed some sleep. What I really needed was my brain to shut off! I needed to let go of what happened at the hospital. I needed to let go of my responsibilities to my family. I just needed to let go of everything that had been building up over the last couple of weeks.

I walked into my bedroom, peeling of clothing as I went. I needed a shower before I did anything else. I needed to get the smell of hospital off me.

After I showered I wondered into the kitchen and grabbed a glass from the cupboard, went to the freezer and got ice and poured half a glass of whiskey.

I took my glass of whiskey and walked up the stairs to my piano. I ran my hand over the keys as I drank. I wanted to free my mind of everything tonight! I placed my glass on top of my piano, and braced my hands over the keys. The only thing that came to mind was Vespertina. So I let my fingers ghost over the keys softly as I played the calming sad song. I was unaware I has started to move from Vespertina to more from Mark Salona. Most of them being my mother's favorites–Novalessa, Donostia, Rambling Paths, Gallantina, and when I really took notice of what I was playing, it was Far from Time. It was the song my brother and I had chosen for my parent's funeral.

I played the song till the end; I closed the lid to my piano and laid my head down on it. I let out the sob I had been holding in for the last two weeks. I just sat there and let everything go! I let the anger, sadness, guilt, and unhappiness leave my body with the tears that were streaming down my face.

I cried for my parents. Not letting go of them had been the hardest for me. I thought if I let this go of these feelings, I would forget the little things–like the way my mother smelt when she cradled me close to her or the way my father's eyes sparkled when I did him proud. I thought I would forget the advice they told me on how to treat people, how to be the man they raised me to be.

Memories assaulted my mind of every important occasion I shared with my family. The emotions poured out of my body and I had to let it go. I had not realized that someone else was there with me until I was lifted and taken down the stairs.

I looked up into the eyes of my pseudo brother Emmett, and I saw the sorrow in his eyes. He placed me down on the couch and left me there. When he returned, I realize he left to get me some water. He shoved the glass into my hands and told me to drink.

When I looked up I noticed that everyone was here. I had been so lost in my own head that I did not even realize that they were standing there in front of me. Rose and Alice had tears steaming down their cheeks. Jasper looked beside himself, and Carlisle was cradling Esme into his chest.

"What are you all doing here?" I asked in a shaky voice, as my eyes darted from one to the other.

Carlisle was the first to talk. "We came to check on you and see if you wanted to have dinner with us. Alice came up to fetch you and when she heard you, she called all of us to come up. She was worried about you."

"I am fine… really. I thought I would let off some steam, play a few songs. When it turned into memory lane, it overwhelmed me and I had to let out some of the emotion I've been holding in since my parents passed away. I did not mean to scare you."

"Eddie, you have to get some help, you need to get back to the old you. This is your mind and body telling you what you needed to do. You can't keep pushing us away man, we are your family and hell will freeze over before I let you remove us from your life. I understand that you are hurting and have been since your parents passed–but Eddie man, you need a life also."

I felt someone kneel in front of me and I moved my eyes from Emmett to see my green eyes staring back at me. I saw Esme's pain, and I knew that it mirrored my own.

"Edward," Esme said, as she placed both of her hands on the side of my face. "What are you are doing to yourself is breaking my heart. I should have been a better mother to you and made you go to therapy after your parents died. I can't change that now, but I am not going to sit by and watch you destroy your life. Carlisle and I have made an appointment for you to see someone. If you do not like this person you can then find someone else on your own. You need to see someone, Edward. You need to let go of this pain that you are holding inside." I watch tears slide down Esme's face. "I am not being mean, I only care. You need to understand that you do deserve the happiness that we all have. You do deserve to find love–the love that we all share, the love your parents had, and the love your brother shared with Jane."

Once Esme finished, she wrapped her arms around me and hugged until I could not breath I did not realize that she was so strong. She let me go and walked back over to Carlisle.

I felt the couch beside me dip, and I looked to see that Rosalie had sat beside me.

"Edward, I know this feels like an intervention, but its not. We are all worried about you. I know that I am not always on your side, but I love you like you're my brother. I really want to see you reach your potential in everything you want. You have done that in your career but you need to now do that in your personal life. You need to choose your friends carefully and James should not be one of them. I understand why you feel you can't look after the twins, even if you don't," I looked at Rose wondering what she was talking about. "Don't look at me as if I am stupid, Alice and I have figured you out, you just have to catch up to us. Edward, I love you, I need you to start loving you. Please accept Esme's and Carlisle's help. I can't watch you fall down this hole any longer." Rose hugged me and kissed my cheek and got up and moved over to Emmett, who had moved while I was listening to Esme.

I sat there wondering what Rose was saying that she and Alice had figured out. What did they know that I didn't! I am not sure if I could do more of this. I knew that I needed help and I am grateful that they were making me realize this.

"Mas, I miss my brother, I miss my mate. You know – the one that knew how to have fun, the one that knew how to laugh – really laugh. The jokester you used to be. He has been lost for to long, I want and need him back." Jasper was staring me in the eyes. I knew that he was laying it on the line for me. "I know that you have heard what everyone else has said, but I am going to remind you of something you said to me a long time ago when I facing trouble at college. You said, 'Trouble is part of your life – if you don't share it, you don't give the person who loves you a chance to love you enough.' That is what you are doing to all of us Edward, you are taking our love away from you, by closing down on us, building that wall that should not be there with us. You need to start knocking that wall down, and let us in. We are your family and we are here for you." Jasper put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into him. "I love you brother." Japer got up and walked over to where Alice was. He kissed her softly on the lips, whispered into her ear and released her.

I watched Alice walk over and sit beside me, her eyes were red and puffy. She took my hands in hers and I felt her body trembling.

"Edward, troubles, like babies, grow larger by nursing, and I feel that you have nursed them enough. When I met you at school, we used to have so much fun, but the moment your parents died, you died along with them. You cut all of us off and turned to loose women, partying, and hanging with the likes of James. If you want what we have, you needed to let go of the partying lifestyle and grow up! You need to find someone that is your equal. Someone that enhances your qualities. Someone that wants the same things in life that you do, and is willing to compromise when the need arises. The reason you have not found it yet is because the women that you date are not after that. You even closed yourself off to the love that you want. Edward, unless you put out positive thoughts and feeling into the universe you are not going to get what you want. I love you, Edward. I'm here for you if you need me. I will help you with whatever you need." Alice started to let go of my hands after a final squeeze, and then wrapped her arms around my neck, and kissed my cheek. She then leaned into my ear and whispered. "You are special Edward, you need to believe in it that!" She let go of me and walked back over to Jasper, he encased her into his arms.

The only person that had not said anything to me was Carlisle. He and Esme were the only ones I was frightened of disappointing, and it seems that I had done that. I hung my head in shame, and I should be ashamed of my behavior and myself since I had lost my parents.

Carlisle walked over and sat beside me, "Son, I can read your mind. I can see that you think that I am ashamed of you. Let me tell you know and then I don't want you thinking about that anymore. I am not now and will never be ashamed of anything you do. I might be disappointed – but never ashamed. When your parents died, I decided that I would step in and be the father figure you needed. I did everything in my power when they passed to get you to see someone. I was close to forcing you. I didn't want to loose you, I had already lost my best friend and brother-in-law. I knew if I forced you, he would turn in his grave. Like Esme I cannot sit by any longer. Son, you are in pain and you need to see someone. I will be here every step of the way. I know that right now you can't look after the twins, and I understand your reasons. But I do not want you to adopt them out. Alice and Rose are not able to take on the twins, so I have spoken to a lady by the name of Isabella. We are all meeting her in Central Park this weekend. I have made sure that your schedule is clear, and you will be there to meet the woman – that you want to give these precious gifts to."

I was shocked that he had gone ahead and found someone. I was sure that Alice or Rose would take the kids.

"Son, you made this decision. You told us last weekend that you couldn't keep the kids. I know you had your heart on one of us taking them, but Alice just found out that she is expecting again."

I looked over at Alice and she was nodding her head.

"It would be too much for her and Jasper, Rose is not able to with her schedule either. So this young lady, Bella, is willing to meet you and see what she can do. She is one of my patients and is going through AI procedures. She wants a large family and is willing to meet the twins. After you meet her it will up to the both of you to come to some sort of arrangement. If you still choose to adopt the children out – well – we will face that when we come to it. For now Edward, I need you to start looking after you. I need you to get this help we are offering, you need to be free of your demons. As everyone has said, you are worth loving and you deserve to be as happy as we all are. You need to find your penguin!" With that everyone started to laugh, Carlisle always knew how to break everyone out of the funk.

"Okay everyone lets have dinner here with Edward, instead of going out. Martha is looking after the kids tonight. We all took town cars, so lets get this party started," Emmett said.

With that we all headed to the kitchen, Esme and Rose started on the meal, Alice started setting the table and the men helped with whatever was asked of them. I walked over to Alice and pulled her into a tight hug to congratulate her, then went over and did the same to Jasper. I also got out a bottle of Verve and popped the cork so we could toast to both of them.

As the night went on, I was starting to feel some of the weight lift of my shoulders, I had decided that my family was correct. I needed to see someone and get every single emotion I was feeling out. I needed to live again. I was grateful for my family's intervention even though they did not call it that – it was!

They had saved my life again! It was now up to me to follow through and better myself. To find the old me again!

Authors Note:

I am sorry this is a week late. I was ready to post last week, but when I got the chapter back from Laura and I started to do my final edit, when my father started getting sick… let just say that at midnight I was sitting a hospital waiting for him to come back from his catscan… by 4 in the morning he was booked into the hospital with appendicitis.

I then had the wonderful chore of looking after him, it was manflu x 1000, I love my father and would walk over hot cols for him, but this is nothing I want to experience again. I do have a good memory from it; my father is very funny on drugs.

Thanks for understanding and I hope you all have a really good week. See you in three weeks.

Fiorella.