AN: Ding Dong the Strike is dead...tentatively. I'm just glad to know that SVU will hopefully be back on and the Oscars will commence. The year just isn't right without an Oscar party. I have the best Oscar parties. Whoot whoot. and Oscar has scar in it, so it's an extra special night! Bonuz yippie!

Thanks for all the coolness reviews.

Mrslee, as aways you're reviews are extra special. And I can't do anything about EO sugar plums dancing through your head, but hopefully a few lines in this chapter will make you giggle and ----ah I don't know- take some nyQuil...but not too much, cause that crazy rapper just over dosed on it. DAMN- How dumb do you have to be to over dose on cough medicine? Holy cats, that's gotta be bad for your reputation. You're so cool, you had to get high on...cough syrup? craziness!

peace Out!

Perfect

9am and the courthouse was all a buzz. I stood in the marble hallway adorning a dark brown trench coat, a cheap mousy blonde wig, and the biggest set of Carol Channing sunglasses I could find. It's amazing to me what kind of crap you can buy with twenty bucks from the shady looking man on the street corner. I just needed to be invisible for ten minutes, while I waited for Casey to go on a recess. It's too damn bad I had to pee five blocks and twenty minutes ago. OOOOuuuLLLLL! If those doors don't open in thirty seconds I'm going to pee without her!

A CVS bag swung around my wrist as I jiggled and paced in my corner of the hallway. The light, almost hollow box from within it bounced off of my thigh and I walked past the courtroom doors for a fifth time. The hallway was quiet and empty---thank god-- and I leaned against the doors to get a feel for what was going on inside. Judge Donnelly was making a final argument and-Smack-the gavel sounded. Serenity now! I backed away as people trickled out of the courtroom. Elliot was one of them. He walked right by me. He didn't look me over once. Good boy. Glad to see he was finally over his thing for blondes. That or this wig was exceptionally ugly. Meh, either way, he was thwarted. As he passed me he spoke to the parents of the young woman he was testifying for.

Elliot: Mr. Gelman, you gotta trust Casey, she knows what she's doing. I know it looks bad now, but we still have three more witnesses and the blood spatter report. Stay patient.

Once he and the Gelman's walked just out of sight, I stepped into the crowd. Casey stomped towards me, cell phone to her ear.

Casey: Munch, I need you to double check the evidence CSU found again. Make sure they didn't find any cat hairs and if they didn't, have them look for cat hairs.

Olivia: Pst! Casey.

She was making her way to Elliot's threesome and I had to get her attention before we got too close. I stood inches behind Elliot waving silently in Casey's direction. She was oblivious. Elliot stopped in mid conversation and I swear he took in a whiff of air. My perfume must have wafted up as I flailed about. Damn it, Casey! Look at me! I tilted the sunglasses away from my eyes and zoned in on her with a cold hard stare. Still she avoided me. In fact, I think she may have purposely avoided me. Maybe the wig was much worse than I thought.

Elliot turned to look my way and I ducked behind a tall man standing next to me.

Man: Huh?

Olivia: 'scuse me. Sorry.

After a brief fondling of some random man, no doubt a criminal or the relative of some criminal (great I just fondled a potential criminal)- Ahem, yeah, after that mishap, my three-inch heels parked themselves behind a giant pillar. I took in a deep breath and peeked out at Casey. She was still yammering on her cell. This was becoming ridiculous. Between the smell of my Chanel No. 5 giving me away and my bladder in dire need to explode I was beginning to form fantastic reasons for why I could have killed Casey…wait a second…that sounds all too familiar….killed Ca….Ka…Ack- Anyway, back to the matter at hand!

I clenched my legs and quickly moved behind Casey. My head was ever to slightly turned away from Elliot and I tapped her shoulder before ducking next to the wall just shy of Elliot's view.

Casey: No, not hat!

Olivia: (sneeze, cough, whisper) Novak!

Casey: Cat! Like C-A-T. Cat.

Olivia: Yoooo Hooo!

Casey glanced at me and then continued to turn around with her finger in her open ear. My disguise was too good.

Casey: The guy was crawling with- OUCH!

I threw a black pump at her thick middle section.

Olivia subtly waves. Casey picks up the shoe with disdain and gives Olivia and her Blonde guise a double take. The light bulb clicks on.

Casey: Olivia?

Olivia: (whisper) Come here.

Olivia waves the CVS bag in the air and dances next to the wall as she points toward the restroom.

Casey: Oh! OH! Yeah! I forgot! Let's go. GO!

Casey clicks her phone closed without saying goodbye, ducks away from Elliot's furrowed glance, and runs in a clumpy mess out of sight. The two women round the corner and enter the public restroom. Casey is giggling like a young girl.

Casey: AH! I'm so excited! Liv, you're gonna be a mommy!

Olivia: What did I say, Casey?

Casey: Oop! Right. No squealing. Tentative excitement.

Olivia checks the stalls to make sure that the bathroom is empty and then rips open the pregnancy test box. She dances and breaths frantically as she holds her very full bladder and grunts with each layer of packaging.

Olivia: OOOoooooowww- who designed this thing?!

Casey: Let me, let me. You, hold yourself.

Casey grabs the pregnancy test and begins to de-wrap the plastic away from the pee stick. Olivia jiggles her leg uncontrollably as she watches Casey.

Casey: Liv, I can't believe you're allowing me to be the first to know this. I feel special.

Olivia: (Seething through painful bladder control) You are.

Casey: This is the first time I've ever unwrapped one of these things and wanted to see the plus sign. The plus sign, Liv! (squeal) Eeeeeee!

Olivia: Casey!

Casey: Right. (Monotone- opposite of squeal) E-E-E-E-E-E-E.

As Casey finishes unwrapping the stick, Olivia has already entered a stall and stands hunched over the toilet with her skirt above her hips and her panty hoes around her ankles. The bad wig hair falls around her face and she blows at it to keep it away from her mouth. She holds the side of the stall and waits for Casey to hand her the test.

Olivia: wooo! Woooo! OH-

Casey: Oh! Here!

Casey hands the test over the top of the stall and a blonde wig is tossed back at her in perfect timing. The wig now falls on Casey's face and sticks to her open mouth.

Casey: Oomp! Mmm. Thank you. Plastic hair.

Casey hugs the stall door and listens to the sound of pregnancy test taking.

Olivia: Aeeeehhhhh. God, I've been holding that all the way from the subway. Case, I love you, but you gotta take two steps back, your feet are way too close to my face.

Casey: Sorry.

Casey moves away from the door and plays with the wig.

Casey: You look good as a blonde. Have you ever thought about-

Olivia: NO!

Casey takes the shoulder length blonde mousy straight hair and puts it on her head.

Casey: Okay. No blonde for you. You know, I had a good time being blonde, you shouldn't dog it before you-hmmmmm-

Olivia: What? Before I what?

Casey futzes with the wig on her head in the mirror.

Casey: Mmmm, well….this hair reminds me of –

FLUSH

Olivia opens the door holding the stick away from her eyesight.

Olivia: Please don't say her name in the presence of my HGC levels. I swear to you it was the only color he had.

Casey pulls the wig from her head and turns.

Casey: I didn't say a word.

Olivia: No, but you thought it.

Casey: Damn! You don't even know what I was going to say. I could have said a million things. Helen Hunt. Nicole Kidman. Shelly Long. The woman at the Italian Restaurant. Holly Hunt. Lot of blonde Hunts.

Olivia: Casey, focus.

Casey: Jodi Foster

Olivia gives her the look.

Casey: You're right. (Pause) Sandy.

Olivia: The dog?

Casey: No, Olivia Newton John.

Olivia: Right. Wrong musical.

The women start to hunch over the stick to watch it transform and stop themselves one more time.

Casey: Dog. I think Annie's dog had better hair than that wig.

Olivia: Especially, now. I mean, with Daddy Warbucks and all- Okay, enough, we're stalling. Why are we stalling?

Casey: Because we in a bathroom- Bahhahaha- get it? Hm.. yeah, that was bad. Liv, we're stalling because you should really give it three full minutes before you look at it and it's only been one.

Olivia glances at the stick in her hand and then nods in agreement.

Olivia: Yeah.

I placed the stick on the sink and took a step back from it. I couldn't watch the urine fade into pink lines or line. It was better to pretend that I was pregnant for as long as I could.

Casey: So Elliot told you to do this alone?

Olivia: He gave me the option. I couldn't stand to see his face grow all sad again if….

Casey: Yeah. Well, I'm glad you called me at least. I'll do my best to keep my face away from the sad category….you know, even if it turns out positive. …Wasn't really one for babies anyway. I can't handle all the smells and the leakage.

Casey looked down at her watch when she realized she was rambling on and on in a nervous state. I should have done this alone, but the longer I looked at that box the more I couldn't go through with it. I figured Casey could be a rock or at least a laugh in this situation. I think I may have just freaked her out instead, though. After a moment of silence Casey looked up from her watch and winked at me.

Casey: Two minutes.

Olivia: It's been three months, Case. I haven't taken this test in three months.

Casey: Do you feel anything…kicking, bloated, different?

Olivia: Well I'm late, and my breasts are killing me.

Casey: That's good!!!!!

Casey smiles and almost squeals. Olivia places her hand on Casey's lips.

Casey wipes on a serious face, chucks the blonde wig in the CVS bag, and leans on the radiator.

Casey: Where the hell did you get that thing anyway?

Olivia: The wig? Junkman down the street.

Casey: It's hideous. Who has un-layered shoulder length hair anyway?

Olivia: People who don't live in New York.

Casey: And house wives.

We both thought 'it' and laughed.

Olivia: You're killing my Karma, Casey Novak.

Casey: Good, then you'll have something to blame the pink line on if it's not…Ah- I'm not gonna say it. Cause you're gonna be a mamma regardless.

Olivia: Not really…

Casey: That doesn't sound like the Olivia Benson I know. Where's your faith in procreation, Liv!

Olivia: It's on vacation with the rest of my heathen vagina.

Casey: Come on now, you're being too hard on yourself. It'll happen.

Olivia: What if it doesn't?

Casey: You'll have to find other ways.

Olivia: Elliot, doesn't believe in other ways. He said he'd do it fro me, but I feel so…needy or forced….selfish, you know, asking him, our family, to go through something like in vitro or fertility.

Casey: Why?

Olivia: Because this stuff should just happen. It's a matter of having a child and forcing a child. Shouldn't a child be a gift? Gifts are so much better when they're unexpected. The whole in vitro thing…just seems so…pre-packaged

Casey: So adopt.

Olivia: Yeah, I want to…

Casey: I know, it's not the same. You don't get to gain fifty pounds or get swollen feet. Nor do you get to vomit or go hormonal or even, god forbid push human life out of the fruit of your loom. Not to mention the hemorrhoids, and the uncontrollable bowl movements before, during, and after labor. The kicking, the stretch marks, the pain in your lower back, the constant leaking of the breast milk, and supposedly you'll also achieve chronic gas. But geez, that's really only the half of it.

Olivia: Okay, you've made you're point.

Casey: You don't need to bear a child to have a child. But I do think that your "element of surprise" is a little conservative liberal for me to handle. Who cares if you have to plan a few things, this is what you want right? So just do it. There's no shame in asking for help.

Olivia: I know, but it drives me crazy that getting pregnant happens all the time to people like…women like….well, women- hell teenagers even-everyday…they're pushing out kids left and right, why does the miracle stop with me?

Casey: Oh, I see why you're hung up. This isn't about in vitro. It's about fertile myrtle the belated ex.

Olivia: No.

Casey: Yes.

Olivia: Maybe…a bit. But I hate that I even thought it.

Casey: Liv, you're human. It's fine to think it. You're not a bad person.

Olivia: I know, but sometimes I think that maybe the reason I can't have children is because I cursed myself. I got to have everything that Kathy didn't get to have. Education, Career, Elliot's understanding, an apartment in Manhattan-

Casey: Fashion sense.

Olivia: Case-

Casey: What you totally offended her intelligence with the 'educated' part. Love that coat by the way. (points to Olivia's trench coat)

Olivia: Macy's.

Casey: Nice.

Olivia: Anyway, I feel like maybe god is punishing me for stealing her husband.

Casey: You didn't steal her husband, and you didn't put that gun in her hand, AND- I don't care what that jury's verdict was, you did not kill her. She chose to be there, she chose to shoot at you first, it was self-defense. That's what you're problem is?

Olivia: What?

Casey: You still feel guilty for a crime you didn't commit. Liv, you have to let it go.

Olivia: I have…I did…I thought I did.

Casey: You will. But I will say, that no matter what Kathy had there is one thing she will never have on you.

Olivia: What's that?

Casey: Girl you are hot. My god, you're shoes kick so much ass. I'm stealing your wardrobe. And you're hair stylist. Can I get his number too? I'm surprised Elliot didn't look you over in the hallway. And I would die to

As Casey rambled on I couldn't help but think that maybe there was a little truth to her earlier statement. Maybe I wasn't guilt free of the murder of Kathy Stabler. It's hard to forget a woman that changed your life in so many ways. I still see her screaming face in my nightmares and her doe-like eyes in the faces of her children. No matter how many times I repent, I will still feel as though her faults were….well, mine.

Casey looked at her watch again.

Casey: Three minutes.

We both sat in the stillness of the echoy bathroom in a deep pause.

Casey: You want me to…?

I couldn't look.

Olivia: Casey, I'm not a bad person for wanting Elliot's child right?

Casey rubbed my back and let that deep laugh of hers fill my ears.

Casey: No, sweetheart, you have the cleanest soul I've ever come across. You deserve to have twenty of Elliot's babies.

Olivia: I'll suffice with one.

Casey: Great, you gonna look already, or should I?

Olivia: You do it. Just don't give me a sad face.

Casey lets out a long gust of air. Slowly she lifts the stick from the sink and takes it in. Her back is to Olivia, who is wringing her hands and pacing.

Casey: It's…it issss…

She turns with a huge smile on her face.

Casey: Not a baby!

Her smile is forced with concern. And then it fades along with Olivia.

Casey: You didn't want a sad face.

Olivia: Yep, it' okay.

I stood there in my five hundred dollar trench coat and my fashionable Ralph Lauren pumps and all I could think about was trading it all in for poker straight hair, a pair of payless sneakers, and a swollen belly to match. My New York City, career girl hair fell in a matted heap over my eyes as I dropped my head. Casey grabbed my hand for support.

Casey: Liv…Sorry, gosh, Oliv….it'll be okay…

She pulled me into a full hug. The pee stick waved behind my head. I let out a few tears and Casey chucked the plastic stick into the toilet behind us.

Casey: Maybe it's too early. We can try tomorrow.

Olivia: Ah…It's okay. Don't feel bad…it's just the way things are.

Casey: I know.

Olivia: (pause) It felt right, Case.

Casey: It never happens when the timing is right darling you know that.

Olivia: No, not the timing. Just…everything felt so right. Elliot and I have never been this…relaxed. It was right.

Casey wipes the tears from Olivia's cheeks with a square of toilet paper and grabs the wig from the CVS bag.

Casey: It will be right, Liv.

Olivia backs away from Casey and puts on her tough girl face. She takes the wig from Casey's hand and fixes it onto her head.

Casey: Good news is, we can get a drink at the bar now. And maybe burn that wig in the alley. Ow, I got a license to burn.

Casey pulls out her wallet and flips it open to show Olivia a piece of official looking fire card. Olivia shrugs it away and pulls the sunglasses from her pocket.

Olivia: Casey, I don't even want to know what that means.

Casey: I'm dating this hunky fireman; he got me this license so that I can start a compost pile in my community garden. I just like that it says that I am 'officially licensed to burn' on it. How cool is that?

I tried to smile. Wait.

Olivia: Wait, I thought you and Munch were…

Casey: AH-…well, I'm creating tension.

Olivia: Why are you doing that to him?

Casey: Hey- he started it. He dumped me.

Olivia: What do you mean he dumped you?

Casey: He told me that he needed some space. Things were going to fast or something. So I told him that I couldn't wait around for him to figure it out, which is true, hello, I'm going on thirty-five. Honestly, I think he just needs a good kick in the pants. This fireman will do just the trick if all goes according to plan.

I fixed the last bobby pin into the wig and placed the sunglasses over my red eyes.

Olivia: Sounds good, Case. Whatever…makes you happy. I'm gonna go. I have to get back to class.

Casey: Yeah…I got that court thing…soon…Liv?

Olivia, who was on her way out of the restroom, stopped by the door and turned to face Casey.

Casey: I was wrong about you in that wig. Jane Mansfield.

Olivia touches the hair and partially smiles.

Olivia: Really?

Casey: Well, if Jane had made it to the sixties, but yeah, definitely, Jane Mansfield.

I took a look in the mirror and then pushed myself out of the restroom. I couldn't fault myself for being Jane Mansfield. She was beautiful, and had plenty of children, and a career. She died young…but that was a technicality. If Jane could do it, so could I. I came towards the crowded hallway again. Elliot stood alone in the spot that he and I grew quiet familiar with while waiting for the hearing to commence. This time I didn't dodge his glance…I held it. He ignored me at first, but as I grew closer to him he grew a faint smile and I whispered into his ear.

Olivia: (Jane Mansfield Quote) A forty-one inch bust and a lot of perseverance will get you more than a cup of coffee-a lot more. But most girls don't know what to do with what they've got.

I then kissed him for good measure and the rest…well, I had to try one more time…

Elliot: Donnelly's office is empty. She went to Penara for lunch.

Olivia: Perfect.

AN: No song this chappy. Wasn't feeling it. But hey- Jane Mansfield - can't complain about that. Drop me some lines babies. Eo babies. mmmmm EO babies. I make it sound like dinner.