AN: Hello my little EO darlings! Again, I apologize for the wait on this. I'm literally swamped with work and AND- certain chatboard people had really killed my mojo these past few weeks. Anyway- it is time to GET HAPPY! Let's do this.

EOOOO

Oh and I've been telling everyone this- but check this vidoe out. www. youtube. com/watch?vt9gltSyJFsg (take out the spaces- it's the only way to paste websites on this site.) I've watched this video liek 20 times and I cry every time. But I think I like it so much because when I first watched it I laughed really hard at the beginning of the song and Kathy dieing and then- The FREAK"N SONG CHANGES! AHHH- it's so heart breaking and amazing!

Oh OH and if you're in the mood for ridiculous EO fun chekc my retarded rap song out www. youtube. com/watch?vRiXGLRKYDk

Anyway, hope all my regulars are doing well. I feel a little out of the loop. April 15th WOOO HOOO

Get Happy!

Lake "Olivia! What are you still doing here?"

Lake patted me on the back as he strolled into the precinct. It had been a long night. Remy was in the IC unit recovering from a bullet to the arm and another that grazed her scull. I'd been lending a hand…okay, I refused to go home. But I know Tamara Robins. She was MIA, but she wasn't a killer, nor would she abandon her child. I was going to do everything I could to fix this mess.

Olivia "Hey there, Chester. You look well rested."

Lake "You look like hell."

Olivia "I feel like hell. Thanks for pointing that out."

Lake "Just pulling your leg. You know you're hot. Any luck?"

I shook my head. The pencil in my fingers twirled back and forth until it uncontrollably flung itself onto the floor. Lack of sleep limited motor functions. As I sipped on a cup of coffee, Elliot came out of the interrogation room and leaned over me to get to his desk. He typed and I guided.

Olivia "Try narcotics. I have a feeling this is gang related."

Elliot "Did that, but without something to tie this guy to the scene, these records are useless."

Olivia "What about paternity?"

Elliot's right hand double clicked the mouse as he kissed my cheek and rubbed my stomach with his free hand.

Elliot "We're gonna get you to that appointment, I promise."

Olivia "No," I smiled and then jerked at his touch. "I was referring to Remy's father. He says he's the father, but is he? That could give us something to start with."

Elliot "That could get us a blood test. We can try it."

Munch threw a file at Lake as he walked passed Elliot and Olivia, who were brainstorming effortlessly in a ball of arms and paper work.

Munch "Now there's something I thought I'd never see again."

I glanced up at him in mid sentence, and chose to ignore the comment as my arm over lapped Elliot's and flipped through the police report. Elliot continued to click through inmates on the screen as he jostled me between his arms and returned Munch's snarky remark.

Elliot "I know not what you speak of, John Munch."

Munch "That's right, I forgot. You never were much of a detective without your other half. My only beef is that it should be a crime that you've harassed her into doing your job again."

Elliot "Owww, them are fight'n words John P. Munch. And I would never violate the rules of harassment unless repeatedly provoked."

He said this as his arm purposefully bumped into the paperwork I was trying to read. Again, I ignored all and any eye contact from every man now present in the office, as I continued to dodge Elliot and read the files in front of me.

Olivia "Munch is just jealous that Fin wasn't as pretty as your partner."

Lake (in an exaggerated homosexual slur) "Thanks for noticing, Liv. I do try to keep up on appearance."

The three of us stopped our work and slowly looked up at Lake who crossed his legs and primped his hair for added effect.

Olivia "That explains the beauty sleep."

The guys laughed at my burn as Lake scrunched his face questionably.

Lake "What? I was kidding. Damn, Benson, can't a guy make a joke?"

Elliot and I gave Munch the old sarcastic eyebrow and returned our attention back to the matter at hand. Even if this had been a stressful evening if was nice to be back in the office. All I needed to cap off this moment was a conspiracy theory and bad coffee.

Fin enters

Fin "Coffee's burning."

Munch "Shit! I swear whoever made that coffee pot was out to get me!"

He dropped his work and ran for the coffee station.

Olivia takes in a deep whiff of air through her nostrils.

Ahhhhh, there it is. Fin sat in my old desk across from the Elliot's cramped desk that I so stealthily invaded and started clicking away on his computer.

Fin "CSU found a gun a block away in the dumpster. We got some prints."

Elliot walked over to Fin's desk and started going through the pictures taken on scene.

Elliot "Tell me you got something on the piece of shit we're holding in the back?"

Fin "Who, Tamara's ex?"

Elliot "Yes, the infamous Jason Willis. We got him in the green room. He hasn't lawyered up yet, but I'm running out of excuses."

Fin "Sorry, man. Trevor says the prints on the gun are female."

Elliot "Damn it. We're gonna have to let him walk."

Elliot dropped the files and plopped on the edge of his desk. We were both exhausted and worried. I closed my eyes and stretched as Elliot stared at my stomach with a glazed over expression.

Olivia "You okay?"

Elliot "Hmm? Oh, yeah. Just thinking. I can probably hold him in there until we get evidence that he's the father. That will at least give Casey enough time to get us those warrants. You should go home, sweetheart. Get a few winks before that appointment."

Olivia "Elliot the appointment can wait. I could have prevented this mess and I didn't. It's my job to fix it."

Cragen "No it's not."

Damn-it, Cragen!

Cragen strolled into the office with a New York Times and his briefcase in tow.

Cragen "Was there a party I wasn't invited to? Olivia, why are you in my office holding case reports?"

I dropped the papers and stood up.

Olivia "Don…I was only helping."

Cragen "Let me rephrase that then, Munch, why is Olivia Benson sifting through case reports in my Precinct?"

Cragen stopped his stride just before entering his office and turned his eyes toward the lot of us.

Munch "Cap, she was a witness to our victims and she had personal information that lead us to our only perp…at this moment."

Cragen "So you've gotten her report?"

Lake swallowed a bit of a bagel and answered in a half gulp. "Right here. I was just filing them. Here."

The room was suddenly tense.

Cragen "Great, then she can join the rest of your witnesses in the hallway."

Olivia "Captain-"

Cragen "That's Don Cragen to you, Olivia."

Olivia "Don, I didn't mean to impose. I was just on my way-"

Cragen "Out of my office, Olivia. The rest of you get to work."

He didn't even give me a second look. He just turned and closed the door behind him.

Olivia "Sorry guys."

Fin "He's just pissed cause he misses you."

Elliot kissed my forehead and opened my coat for me.

Elliot "I'm off in an hour. I'll be by to pick you up for the appointment, okay."

Olivia "Casey should be here with the warrant to Tamara's mother's house. I say hit that first…I can't imagine Mrs. Robins is on vacation."

Elliot "Liv!"

Olivia "I know, go home."

I was on the verge of tears…again. Recently I was beginning to think those pregnancy tests were wrong. My emotional side seemed endless as of late.

Olivia "Goodbye."

They each gave their sullen goodbyes and I walked to the hallway.

As I left, the room went back to its usual rustle and bustle. It was like I was never there. Elliot laughed at Fin's joke about Cragen's healthy ass stick and I walked to the elevator wishing that I could be a part of it all one more time. But that wasn't my life anymore. In a way the post lady was right. I am a Stabler now…Not a Detective Stabler or an Olivia Benson, but a Stabler. Mrs. Stabler. Why did that seem so terrible to say?

It was like a blessing and a curse. Stand by your man, just make damn sure you know how you want to stand. Right now…I wanted to be an inch from his shoulder, knees bent, feet apart, badge on my side, and glock held at attention.

The elevator opens and Casey comes out. She's in her jogging pants and tennis shoes combo.

Olivia "Casey, did you get the warrant?"

Casey "Liv, what are you still doing here?"

Olivia "I'm not here. Did you get the warrant?"

Casey dug into her bag and flipped the blue paper in the air.

Casey "Right here. Sorry it took me so long. Judge Donnelly was pissed that I showed up at her house at 5am. She said not only was it indecent but she never wants to see my gym pants again."

I looked down at the faded holy sweat pants and winced a bit myself.

Olivia "I'm actually surprised you own those."

Casey "What?! They're work out pants. What do you jog in, Gucci?!"

Olivia "They look like they've been through the war."

Casey "Have you ever seen my workout?"

The elevators opened again and I stepped towards them.

Casey "Liv, give me a minute. I'll grab some breakfast with you."

I looked at my watch, 7am.

Olivia "I could use a hard drink."

Casey, who was already walking towards the offices gave me a concerned look and rhetorically answered.

Casey "Or that…"

SCENE

Olivia and Casey sit at an empty bar. An old man pours them a sloppy beer and drops it in front of them.

Old man "Six."

Olivia places some cash on the bar.

Olivia "Thanks."

Casey (to Olivia) "So what's going on? Genuiss and pancakes aren't exactly a breakfast for the champions."

Olivia "Tell that to the Irish."

Casey (laughing) "Wow, that new last name is really wearing off on you, girl."

Olivia "I don't have a new last name."

Casey "Whatever, Stabler. You just quoted the Irish. If that's not love I don't know what is. So I hear you got the silent treatment from Cragen this morning."

Olivia "Rightly so. I never thought there would come a day where I couldn't finagle Cragen into letting me work a case, but ..."

Casey "He'll get over it. And you don't want to go back to SVU anyway."

Olivia "I don't?"

Casey "You've got an awesome job. And you're gonna be a mom. You were on Oprah for gods sake!"

Olivia "I like my new job, but can't a girl reminisce?"

Casey "No, she can only dream. You've been chosen to do bigger and better things, Olivia. Take the opportunity and run with it."

Olivia "I certainly wouldn't have chosen this job."

Casey "Liv! Come on, you're helping society. You're hands on. You're a post girl! You're prevention!"

Olivia downs the beer and slaps the glass onto the counter.

Olivia "Prevention. Ah..that requires me to be a role model. Something, I'm not so sure I can handle. And Oprah, how stressful is that! I fuck up and Oprah is going to know."

Casey "What are you gonna fuck up?"

Olivia "The fine line. My students. My child. Who knows! But I can't make mistakes anymore."

Casey "The fine line- Pash! Oprah doesn't care about the fine line, she's best friends with Tom Cruise. What's it matter what she thinks anyway?!"

Olivia "Casey, Oprah Whinphry is Manhattan Women's Facility. Without her money we're nothing. And AND- Oprah is like the all mighty powerful poverty wizard of Oz. You don't mess with Oprah. If the media found out that I allowed Tamara to take her daughter to that concert it could be detrimental to my program and my reputation."

Casey "Okay, Okay, point taken. Oprah's the man and you're ass is on the line. You know, I'm not trying to sound like a know it all, but your life could be a lot worse than the wrath of Oprah, and Tamara Robinson. This will pass. People make mistakes and even professionals can't predict the future. You didn't know that shooting was going to going to take place. Just be lucky you're still breathing."

Olivia "Yeah, I suppose you're right. I just hope Tamara is still breathing and that gun was shot by Jason Willis."

Casey "Don't jump the gun, Liv. We'll work this out."

I nodded and looked up from my empty glass. It was then that I noticed…her. I wasn't sure if I'd drank too much alcohol or if the vision was for real, but there she was at the end of the bar. Kathy Stabler. She stared at me unblinking. Her hair was a mess. As usual.

My cell phone vibrated.

Casey watches Olivia starring at the empty bar stool.

Casey "Are you okay?"

I looked down at my phone.

Olivia "That's Elliot."

When I looked back up Kathy was gone and I grabbed my purse as we headed for the door. Casey hugged me for good luck.

Casey "Go make us a baby, Mrs. Stabler (Olivia throws Casey a look) Benson! You're so particular about that. He's your husband, Liv, by law you're one person. Get over it!"

I placed the cell back into my purse and headed for Elliot's car.

FLASH

Kathy can be seen briefly in the passenger seat of the car and Olivia jerks back with a large intake of breath.

Elliot "You okay?"

Olivia "Yeah, I tripped...pothole."

The leather seat touched my back and a prickling sensation came over me. Her shape flickered next to me. She smiled and placed her hand on Elliot's leg. Why was I thinking about Kathy Stabler? Elliot rubbed my hand as we stopped at a red light and her evil smirk disappeared.

Elliot "You ready for this?"

I held tight to the things Casey and I had just talked about earlier. She was right. I had nothing to fear. Conforming into my new life had been difficult, but never had I reason to think I was living in the wrong. Not had I ever hallucinated. There's a first for everything. I was panicking for no reason. Elliot's touch and his warm smile brought me back to normal breath intakes.

I smiled for him…well and a bit for me too. It's tough being upset on your way to baby shopping. I had to shake this off.

Olivia (smiling) "I couldn't be more ready."

Elliot "Good."

SCENE

When we got to the waiting room I was called to the desk to fill out a million forms.

Nurse "Mrs. Stabler?"

Olivia "Benson."

She didn't hear me. The nurse was a young 23 year old, fresh out of college, girl. She was thin and properly made up, with just the right amount of bounce in her ponytail. She was on edge and a little frazzled as she dealt with the paperwork and the seamless phone calls at the same time. My last name dilemma was something that could go over looked I suppose.

I sat back down next to Elliot and he flipped through the pages with me.

Elliot "Just so you know. Remy is awake. I got a call from the hospital after you left."

Olivia "Did you talk to her?"

Elliot "Lake is on it. But I think when we're done here…you know, if you're up for it-."

Olivia "Yes. Yes, definitely, I need to see her. Cragen's not upset is he?"

Elliot "Oop, hang on."

Elliot pulled out his ringing cell phone and kissed me on the lips.

Elliot "No. He's just trying to maintain his status. The higher ups are trying to force him to retire early."

The phone rang again.

Elliot "Plus, I don't care what he thought, I liked it. Having you there again."

Olivia "I love you too."

He winked and placed the phone to his ear. I looked down at the forms as he talked in the corner.

Olivia "Name…"

Elliot "Stabler."

Olivia "Olivia B-"

Elliot "Detective Stabler"

Olivia "ens…"

Elliot "son…Yes, that was my wife. Tamara is her student, yes."

I looked up as he said that and he noticed my glance. Before I could become interested he left the room.

Ahh, okay, focus, Olivia.

Olivia "Name. Olivia Ben…"

I stopped. I couldn't write it. As I paused in thought something caught my eye. My mind playing tricks again. I was alone in the waiting room. In the corner sat Kathy rocking a baby. She smiled at me sweetly and she mouthed "Benson" in my direction. I looked down at the papers again.

Olivia "Olivia Be-"

My hallucination wouldn't go away. The image of Kathy grew more intense. She rocked the ball of blankets in her arms and I watched the image grow fierce with anger until her wild rocking became extreme and the bundle in her arms was thrown onto the floor. I audibly yelled.

Olivia "NO!-Uh…oh my god…"

The nurse peeks her head out into the waiting room with a phone to her ear.

Nurse "Mrs. Stabler?"

The image was gone and I stood in the room. The paper work was scattered around me on the floor.

Olivia "I'm fine. Fine. Sorry. It was a…spider."

God, a spider! What the hell! I'm losing my mind!

I grabbed the paperwork and sat on the chair in a huff. I can't believe I was allowing Kathy Stabler to ruin my life, yet again. Enough is enough! I clicked the top of the pen and started over.

Olivia "Name. Olivia (she scratches the "Bens" out with the pen and takes a breath) Stabler. Olivia Stabler."

Ha! Take that Kathy! I'm a Stabler. I am Olivia Stabler!

In a matter of minutes I had finished the paper work and Elliot and I had been taken into the back to be pocked and prodded.

Dr. Cox "Elliot, I'm gonna give you this cup and a back room. You let us know when you're ready."

Elliot "You mean, I gotta do it alone?"

Dr. Cox looked at him in question and nodded inaudibly.

Elliot let go of my hand and took the cup.

Elliot "Just kidding doc. I know the drill."

Five minutes turned to ten and ten turned to thirty. All in all, I had managed to stay calm without Elliot to distract me. Not one thought of the dreaded ex came to mind. Although, I will admit that hallucinations were hard to come by when you had a young hot doctor between your legs. OH MY GOD! Olivia Bens--Stabler, you are bad!

Olivia is on a doctor's table with her feet in stirrups. Dr. Cox pokes his head up with a smile.

Dr. Cox "Popped it!"

Olivia's face is stricken with horror.

Dr. Cox "The air bubble in my syringe."

Olivia "Oh!"

Dr. Cox "Yeah, I hope that's all it was." (He giggles in jest.) "Okky, dokky, I'm gonna take some of your eggs now. You're gonna feel a pinch…a small amount of discomfort and that will be it…for now."

Dr. Cox had collected the beginnings of my baby and headed off to his little lab in the next room. I lay on the table starring at the ceiling waiting for Elliot to come back. Finally he walked in and locked the door behind him.

Olivia "Took you long enough."

Elliot "I was reading the articles."

Olivia (smiling) "I'm sure you were."

Elliot sat next to me and held my hand. Lightly he kissed the backs of my fingers.

Elliot "I love you."

Olivia "I love you too. So did they tell you how long it would take?"

Through smothered kissing he replied as he looked up at me with those puppy dog blue eyes.

Elliot "I couldn't do it."

Olivia "What?"

Elliot "Looking at another woman as I created our child? Nah. This is going to be the sample of life, literally, I couldn't produce it while looking at Hustler magazine."

I sat up a little confused.

Olivia "So…what's-"

He pulled the empty cup from his suit jacket pocket and placed it on the table next to me. Then he took off the jacket and undid his belt. While his hands fumbled with the buckles and the zipper, he nestled my face and began kissing the shape of my lips. The cloth gown made access to his touch easy. Before I could protest or think about the fact that we were in a doctor's office, Elliot was on top of me. His pants on the floor, his hand was cupping, grabbing, thumbing my breast, and his kisses were filled with fire and passion. The paper covering the table ripped and rattled underneath of us and he pushed himself inside of me.

Olivia "Never a dull moment with you, Stabler."

Elliot "You started it this morning with your arm grazing and your finger twining. Not to mention, I love how you work a case. God, I miss you."

He grabbed me with his lips and pushed his hips into mine. The tip of him sliding in and out.

Olivia "ohh…oh, Elliot, I miss you too. Leaving you with that case today…I …I could have…"

Elliot "I know, I know. I thought I could forget about those days, but I can't. Today …god… you were such a tease."

I wrapped my legs around his waist and nibbled on his bottom lip. The movement got radically faster.

Olivia "No you were! Sitting on the corner of that desk…double clicking that mouse…breathing into my ear as we brainstormed. Oh god- brainstorm for me right now!"

Elliot "I'm gonna finger print you all up, Detective Benson."

Olivia "Stabler."

Elliot "Stabler?"

Olivia "Stabler!"

Elliot "Detective Stabler! (Elliot rapidly moved his hips up and down the further they went.) Mmmm I like it! AHh- you are too good! Too good to me! After I get you're prints I'm gonna take a blood test."

Olivia "That's right, Detective, test my evidence!"

Elliot "I'm gonna sample your evidence!"

Olivia "Sample it! And then when you're down put me in lock down!"

Elliot "I'm gonna Cuff it, interrogate it, AND war (he pushes)-rant (he pushes) – all of it! (he pushes)

Olivia "I'm Guilty!" (she screams orgazmically and Elliot pulls out and finishes in the cup.)

They both pause in a mess of red skin, torn paper, and half buttoned/tied clothing. As their eyes meet they both begin to laugh. Elliot falls onto Olivia's chest and she kisses his face repeatedly.

Olivia "Well, I don't know if that was a Hollywood ending, but it was definitely film worthy."

We gathered ourselves together and Dr. Cox had us wait in the room while he worked his magic. When the time came to be fertilized, I'd felt like Elliot and I actually had a better sexual experience in this doctors office than we would have at home. Nothing beats public sex and goofing around with tongue depressors and cotton balls afterward. Dr. Cox walked into the room with his nurse just as I flung the fifth peroxide soaked cotton ball towards Elliot's head. I missed terribly and the poor nurse got a cheek full of moist ball.

Olivia "Oh god! I'm sorry! We're beginning silly!"

Dr. Cox "Quite alright. I love to see our couples making the best of things."

Elliot "Are we ready to do this? I'm getting antsy…and hungry."

Dr. Cox "Yep. Olivia, lay on the table and I'm gonna give you one quick shot to the uterus and you will be set. We'll see what happens from there."

Elliot squeezed my hand as I lay down with my feet in the stirrups.

Dr. Cox (to nurse) "Jamie, can I have the syringe please?"

Nurse "Sure."

She looked up from her paperwork and sifted through the tray on the table.

Nurse "Hang on. I must have left it in the other room."

AH! God- the wait was killing me. Can we just do this already!

The nurse goes to the cooler and scans the "S" section of the embryos.

Nurse "Stabler, Stabler, Stabler..SSSS- AH- Stabler."

She pulls the tube out and sucks the liquid into a syringe.

Nurse "Perfect!"

When the nurse came back the room grew brightly warm. It was dream like. My hallucinations had become movie magical and glittery light filled my mind. And even though Dr. Cox's hands were that of an Ice berg I smiled tears of joy as the needle hit my pelvis.

Elliot stands next to Olivia playing with her hair and holding her hand. His eyes are focused on Dr. Cox and every once in awhile he kisses Olivia on the forehead. Her smile is radiant as she too watches the process of child planting.

Forget your troubles c'mon get happy,

you better chase all your cares away.

Shout hallelujah c'mon get happy

get ready for the judgment day.

For a second I thought of Kathy, only this time her face was forgiving. She smiled down at me and winked. I thought, maybe this is it. Maybe my fears could be put away. Maybe her ghost could forgive me.

the sun is shinin c'mon get happy,

the lord is waitin to take your hand.

shout hallelujah c'mon get happy,

we're going to the promise land

If Kathy's purgatory was as sweet as mine, she has no reason to be angry or bitter. Of course, then again, I needed to take my own advice. I gave up detective work for this moment and I almost ruined the moment with thoughts of running back to it. All would be well. I didn't need to crack cases.

We're headin across the river to

wash your sins away in the tide.

it's all so peaceful on the other side.

AN: Drop me some lov'n. EOOOO