Angelnlove52, what can I say? You say you haven't really done anything … HA! You have helped in more ways than you know. This chapter, as well as many others, wouldn't be what they've turned out to be without your help! Thank you!

My readers … Please keep the the glowing reviews coming :) I am so happy you are still finding the story interesting.

CHAPTER 8

EPOV ~

Thursday, December 14th, 2006 ~

I hated lying to Bella all the time, but it really couldn't be helped. I mean, I couldn't go to Las Vegas without a viable reason, and considering my reason—my sister—was going to be in Georgia for the weekend, celebrating Christmas with her husband and his family, I had no choice but to cancel on her—again.

I actually considered flying Bella to Boston at one point, but then thought better of that. How would I explain not being able to stay with her at the hotel? How would I go about telling her that she couldn't stay with me at my house—or even see my house for that matter? I could probably explain one night away to Tanya, claiming I'd drank too much and passed out on James' couch, but there was no way I could pull off a whole weekend. Nor could I explain to Bella the reason I was only flying her out for a single night. It was a lose-lose situation for me. I desperately wanted to see my girl, but I couldn't figure out a way of making it happen.

"Good evening," the hostess greeted as I walked into Valentino's, a local pizza joint—the only pizza place in town as far as I was concerned.

"Good evening. Cullen, party of two," I informed, straightening my tie, trying to deflect her wandering eyes and ignore her before she caused a scene—more importantly, before Tanya walked up and created a scene.

"Ah, yes, Mr. Cullen, your wife has already arrived …. Right this way."

I followed her into the dinner area and spotted Tanya right away, dressed to the nine in the back corner. I cringed immediately, feeling a mixture of anger and guilt. Anger because I truly wanted to be clear across the country, meeting a very different woman for dinner, and guilt because I knew what I was doing, feeling, was all sorts of wrong.

"Oh, Edward, finally …" she purred, as I sat in my seat across from her.

"Traffic …." I purposely let it trail off there, instantly picking up the menu.

"Yeah, it was a bear tonight … all these last minute shoppers …. Speaking of …"

I cringed internally. I actually hadn't gotten her anything yet. "Huh?" I asked, playing stupid.

"My gift," she snipped. "Have you gotten it yet?"

I laid the menu down and looked up to meet her eyes for the first time since I'd arrived. "Have I forgotten you yet?" I asked.

"No—" The waitress interrupted at that point, and luckily, the subject of Christmas presents didn't come up again. It was always the same to her—anything big, shiny, and outrageously expensive. I'd go to my usual spot and let my sales girl pick it out—Tiffany's hasn't steered me wrong yet.

"Don't forget about the Cullen Foundation Christmas party coming up next week," Tanya reminded me about halfway through dinner.

Fuck! I thought, looking up to Tanya's waiting eyes. I'd actually forgotten about the Christmas Party with everything else going on in my life. Between thinking and worrying about Bella, mixed in with trying to finalize everything with the Vegas property before the first of the year, I was running myself ragged.

"Yeah, what day was that again?" I asked laying my napkin down on the table.

Please don't say Friday.

"Saturday …."

Thank you, Jesus!

"Why?" she asked, clearly annoyed with my question. "Did you have plans for the weekend?"

I checked my watch, it was closing in on ten—I was anxious to talk to my girl again before the end of the night, and I knew she had a shift this evening—something she'd just recently started doing with Angela and Victoria. A trio, she called it.

"Edward?" Tanya snipped. "I asked you a question …. And why are you so concerned with the time?"

"I'm going to Vegas Thursday after work," I informed. "And I was just checking the fucking time …. Some of us have to work in the morning."

"Vegas?" she hissed incredulously. "Weren't you just there?"

"A month ago," I snapped waving the waitress over. "And we're not going through this again, Tanya. My sister and I are close. It's not my fault you're a bitch to her every time she's around …. And as I said before, I'm going for work."

"Well, you could have at least stuck up for me when she banned me from her house," she hissed gathering her belongings. "I mean, it is a bit much … especially considering she moved clear across the country …. Anyway, why do you have to go to Vegas for work? I thought that was the whole reason for transferring Jasper out there …. Which reminds me, when is he actually moving there? Seems you're there more than he is, and he's the one that is supposed to be in charge of this whole operation … maybe let him do some of the work!"

"That's her decision to keep you away," I replied, as the waitress took the check away. "Maybe try being nice for once …. And I'm going because it's my company …. Have you ever known me to not follow a development to the finish?" I was really counting on her inability to be nice to Alice; otherwise, there wasn't a doubt in my mind she'd be trying to go with me.

It was strange really. Alice was the only one Tanya didn't get along with. She and Alice actually downright despised each other, while my mother and older sister thought the world of her—not surprising considering they're all so much alike. My dad though, he wasn't really a fan of hers either, but he generally sided with my mother, or just didn't get involved at all. It was strange really, my dad's family was the snooty, all high and mighty ones that thought the world revolved around them—that anyone of a lower class was beneath them, while my mom's family was rather rounded and more down to earth. My granddad Masen built his company from virtually nothing, meaning my mother grew up a part of the lower class, while my father's family had always had money and flaunted it in everyone's faces.

"… Edward!"

"What?" I asked, snapping back into the now.

"Were you even listening to me?"

"Honestly?" I asked, but I didn't wait for her to respond. "No. What were you saying?"

She huffed, pulling on her coat. "You are unbelievable. Tell me again why I ever married you?"

"Fuck if I know," I replied matter-of-factly, pulling my own coat on.

She stopped what she was doing and stared at me, cocking her eyebrow. "Are you serious with that?"

I just shook my head. "I know why you married me, Tanya … fifteen million dollars."

She looked at me incredulously. "You're serious?" she stuttered. "I married you because I love you." I knew she was waiting for me to say something. Thankfully, the waitress chose that moment to bring my credit card back. I couldn't have been happier with her timing, because I wasn't sure if I could, in good conscience, say it back.

After leaving her a tip, I stood to leave. "I'll see you at home," I said, turning to Tanya but otherwise paying her no mind.

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah. I'll see you at home," she spat before stomping off in the direction of the exit. I probably should have felt bad, but I just couldn't bring myself to feel anything other than anxious to speak to my angel, and I knew the quicker I got rid of Tanya, the quicker I could do so.

Now don't get me wrong, our marriage wasn't always like that, but it'd been nearly a month since I'd seen Bella, and I seriously felt like some heroin addict going through withdrawals. She was definitely my own personal form of heroin and I was thoroughly addicted, which left me a cranky bastard these days.

For the most part, Tanya and I have—or had—a happy marriage, which was what made all of this even more confusing to me. I actually love—or loved her— I didn't even know which anymore. I felt something for her, though I wasn't sure if it was out of love or obligation, but either way, I really didn't want to see her hurt, but the thought of giving up Bella was just downright painful. What I'd grown to feel for Bella after only two short months had dwarfed my feelings for Tanya immensely, and I just couldn't make sense of it. I thought I loved Tanya the day we pledged to spend our lives together, but now, I honestly couldn't picture a future without Bella. Only the future I saw didn't have Tanya anywhere around. I saw Bella as my wife. Us having quiet family Christmases, that included just her and our children—possibly my sister, Jasper, and their family.

The future I pictured with Bella was nothing like I'd ever pictured with Tanya. With Tanya, I always saw us having the fast track sort of life, high profile parties—all glitz and glam. With Bella, it was all quite the opposite, I saw the white picket fence, nice, but not over the top vehicles, and most importantly, a down to earth girl on my arm that honestly didn't care if I were worth nearly a billion or a single buck, she would love me for me, not what I could give her.

It was all very confusing. I knew in my heart what I wanted, but I was just to chicken to actually make it happen. I'd thought about leaving Tanya, I'd even consulted an attorney, which would be what opened my eyes to the reality of what may come if I did indeed open that door. Not only was there a chance I would lose my girl, but I could also end up losing half my net worth. I thought pre-nups were supposed to be there to cover your ass, but after listening to my attorney, there was a good chance Tanya could walk away with half of what I've accumulated since we were together. Because, not only was I worth nearly three times what I was when we married, there wasn't anything in there that would protect me against my infidelity. He suggested hiding Bella, and rejecting the idea any previous relationships with her, wait it out a few months, then go back … but the thought of denying her—of being away from her for months, made me ill. I was stuck and I knew it.

My attorney did give me some very solid advice on how to hide my relationship though—he suggested paying for everything with cash from now on, preventing her ability to check my statements—which she couldn't anyway, it was a business account, and my bills were sent directly to the office where they stayed, so that sentiment was moot. He also suggested trek phones, saying if I were to have a phone that didn't have my name on it, and Bella only had the number, there would be no way of Tanya ever tracing it back to me, thus, limiting my exposure to getting caught and being sued in the event of a divorce. However, I'd want the other phone on me at all times, because the idea of missing a call from my angel made my stomach turn, but also a moot point, as my cell was company issued, and she'd never be able to obtain any of those records. I had a pass code only I would know, and after five wrong attempts, my phone restored back to its original settings.

Something he did mention, that was intriguing, was to set up an account in a bogus name and start hiding money. Then in the event of a divorce, I wouldn't be left with nothing. That tidbit of advice was on the down low, and not something he was 'legally' allowed to suggest, but thank God my attorney was also one of my good friends.

When I reached my car, I quickly pulled out my cell phone, praying I'd be able to get a hold of Alice. I needed to make sure nothing had changed, that I still had my alibi for the weekend—I couldn't cancel on my girl, not again.

"Hey, big brother," Alice answered the phone. "What's up?"

"Not much …" I replied nonchalantly. "Just wondering what day you were gonna be here?"

"Not until Saturday morning," she replied. "Jas' car is being delivered Friday night, so I gotta be here to make sure that's squared away for when we get back home."

Perfect.

"Damn," I sighed. "I almost wish I could be there when he sees it."

"I know, right?" Alice gushed. "He's gonna love it!"

"That he is," I agreed, looking at the time. "Alright, so I'll see you Saturday then?"

"Yup, see you then," she chirped, and my two nights with Bella were actually going to happen this time. I couldn't have been happier. I knew I was playing with fire, knowing if Tanya ever decided to check up on me I'd be screwed, but I really couldn't bring myself to worry too much over it.

I called Bella the moment I hung up with my sister, and was a bit surprised when she answered on the second ring. It seemed she'd been sending more and more of my calls right to voicemail as of late, and while I couldn't really blame her, it didn't mean it didn't bother me. I knew she thought I was purposely blowing her off, but that couldn't have been farther from the truth.

"Hey …" she breathed, sounding really down; I hoped my news might cheer her up a bit. I knew she was having a harder time with the miscarriage then she was letting on … hell, I was having a harder time with the miscarriage then I let her know.

It was strange really; I'd never considered having children. In fact, Tanya and I had both agreed early on that we didn't want kids—she was just too selfish, and I just didn't want the responsibility. I had even consulted with an Urologist about possibly having a vasectomy, but something in my gut told me not to follow through with the procedure. I wasn't sure at the time why I was having the doubts, but it all seems to make a bit more sense now.

Bella miscarrying our baby was like losing a piece of myself—a piece I never knew existed. I'd actually found myself daydreaming of a little girl with dark brown orbs, and chocolate brown hair, resembling that of my beautiful girl, and I couldn't get past the want I felt as I thought of what we could have had.

"Hey, baby girl," I cooed. "You're not busy are you?"

"Nope," she replied, as I heard some shuffling. "I was just getting ready to get into the shower …."

She let it trail off there, so I asked, "Working tonight?"

"Yeah …" she whispered.

"Well, I won't keep you," I retorted a bit harsher then I wanted. I really hated that she stripped, that complete strangers could see what was meant only for my eyes—selfish bastard, I know. "I just wanted to let you know, I'll be leaving here probably around six on Thursday; so I should be in town about twelve thirty or so."

"Okay …" she replied, sounding a tad bit more hopeful and yet, still a million miles away.

"I, um … will you be home?" I asked, suddenly feeling a bit uneasy. It never really crossed my mind that maybe she didn't want to see me after as much as I've cancelled on her.

"I'll be home around one," she informed. "I have class until twelve forty-five."

I smiled, though I knew she couldn't see it. "So I'll see you about one then."

"Kay," she whispered hesitantly. "Um, Edward?"

"Yeah, baby?"

"How long are you going to be here?" she asked, clearly very nervous.

"I'll be leaving Saturday … about mid-morning."

She sighed somewhat, I hoped in relief. "I'm glad you're coming. I really miss you."

I sighed, feeling like a complete ass. "I know, baby. And trust me when I say this, I miss you too. So much, baby girl. I can't wait until I can hold you in my arms again."

"Kay … so I'll see you Thursday?" she asked, much more cheerful now.

"Yup."

Tanya was lying on the couch, watching the eleven o'clock news when I got home.

"Hey, what took you so long?" she asked, getting off the couch. I was hoping she'd be in bed, but I should have known better—of course she'd be waiting up for me.

"I called Alice," I semi-lied. "I was just letting her know when I'd be there Thursday …." I may have detoured at bit so I could talk to Bella.

Tanya huffed, and then walked down the hallway toward the bedroom. I went into the kitchen, opened the fridge, and pulled out bottle of Corona. After tossing the cap in the garbage, I decided to go and check some emails … fuck off for a little while—aka, avoid the spawn of Satan.

Finally, at close to midnight, I made my way into the master bedroom. The lights were all off, so I walked carefully and quietly into the bathroom. After completing my nightly routine, I returned to the bedroom, stealthily sliding into my side of the bed.

It took about ten seconds for her to curl herself around my back, effectively spooning me. I felt myself start to stiffen when she started placing kisses on my neck, but quickly willed myself to relax.

"You're so tense," Tanya remarked—apparently, I wasn't as successful as I thought. "Let me relax you," she purred, moving her hand down my hip, into my boxers.

"Not tonight," I groaned shifting forward a bit, effectively moving her hand away from the placid monster in my shorts.

"Why not tonight?" she questioned, moving herself closer, her hand inching back into my shorts.

Rolling onto my stomach, I hissed, "Because I'm fucking tired!"

"Yeah, well, I'm horny," she huffed sitting up. "What the hell, Edward? We've had sex maybe four times in the last month …. We've only been married a year …. We've always made love—"

Rolling back onto my back, I groaned. "I'm just tired. Fuck! Work has been—"

"I get it. I really do," she replied dolefully, lying back down, her body resting mostly on mine, she sniffled as she started kissing, nipping at my chin. "I just don't want to be an old married couple after only a year of marriage," she finished, bringing her lips to mine.

She's your wife, my conscious screamed, which would be why I surrendered, but my thoughts strayed to Bella more times than I could have counted. I'm honestly surprised I didn't belt out her name as I found my release.

The whole ordeal took longer than I would have liked. It took awhile for Tanya to actually get me hard enough to do anything—she actually started to get a bit pissed that I wasn't responding to her. It was only after I started envisioning Bella with my cock in her mouth that I started to become aroused, and even then, I had to keep my eyes closed, or focused on a spot on the wall to maintain my erection while she bounced around on top of me. Everything felt wrong. The tightness of Bella's pussy was missing, replaced by something that felt foreign and dry. The long acrylic nails that scrapped down my chest, the loud, obnoxious moans that sounded as if they belonged to a porn star—it was just all wrong. I finally had to block it all out and replay the last time Bella had ridden my cock in order to get it over and done with—even then, I honestly couldn't tell you if she obtained her own release, though I could only assume she did, considering she wasn't bitching at me.

Afterward, Tanya ran into the bathroom to clean herself up and I laid there, staring at the ceiling, pondering how hot the fires in hell were going to burn. I couldn't believe what I had just done. As Tanya had said earlier, we'd only actually had sex maybe four times, it was actually four including this time—but who was keeping track—and every time I felt like a complete schmuck, though the reason this time was so much more different than the times before. The other three times were when I was still riding my Bella high. I had just returned home and sex with her was fresh on my mind. I'd felt like a shit after, but those feelings were more out of guilt because Tanya had no idea what I had been up to. It also, probably, helped that they were early on in our relationship—before the baby—before our lives changed irrevocably.

For the life of me, I couldn't feel guilty about thinking of Bella while I had sex with my wife—I found myself feeling nauseated for cheating on Bella with my wife. When those tables turned, I wasn't sure. Never once had I felt anything negative while being with Bella. I never felt remorse or guilt for anything Bella and I did. If anything, I always felt elated and twice the man I ever was before. Every time I slid into Bella, I felt as if I were finally coming home, and I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

When Tanya came back, cuddled up next to me and rested her head on my chest, I finally had more than I could take. I excused myself to shower, and quickly left the room. Before I could think twice, I locked the door and turned the water to scalding before my eyes became blurry with the pinprick of tears. As I thought over what I had just done, my stomach started to roll and my head felt light and airy and the childish words 'cheater, cheater pumpkin eater,' continually ran on repeat through my mind. With each rotation of the stupid, immature saying, I felt even smaller—less of a man. I cheated on the only thing that mattered in my life. Bella was the only thing that mattered to me and I was finally seeing what that entailed.

If all my money was gone, if my house, my cars, my company were to disappear, it wouldn't matter—if I ever lost Bella, I don't know if I could make it past the parting words. This one action, showed me how entirely I belonged to my angel—how in such a short amount of time she claimed me and owned me, even if she didn't realize it.

Following my guise, I jumped in the shower, washed Tanya's remnants off my skin, and quietly made my way back into the bedroom. I debated briefly on whether to go back to bed or not, knowing I wouldn't get much sleep lying there in the mist of the sheets I'd just soiled, and after the contented sigh Tanya expelled, indicating to me she was fast asleep, I found myself moving down the hallway toward the living room. I sat on the couch, resting my head on the back of the cushions as I stared at the dark ceiling, my mind once again drifting back to the meeting with my attorney…. There has to be a way … I thought, just moments before sleep found me, and once again, my beautiful angel was beside me—if only in my dreams.

**Author's Note**

Um, yeah … please review?!