Thank you for all the reviews! I appreciate them all so very much! I know a lot of you are waiting patiently for the next update of 'Forever and Almost Always' and I just wanted to tell you, it is coming :)

Angelnlove52 … what can I say that I haven't already said? Nothing, lol! I'd be lost without you, girl! Thank you so much for all the work you've done and continue to do with all my stories! You're the best beta slash friend a girl could ask for. I'm so very glad I found you :)

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CHAPTER 9

BPOV ~

Thursday, December 21st, 2006 ~

"Someone's got you looking pretty happy today," Alice remarked as we made our way back into the locker room after spin class. "Boyfriend coming?"

I nodded enthusiastically. "Yup. Tonight." I could barely hide my excitement. I couldn't wait to see him, it'd been way to long.

"Finally," she remarked, before quickly adding, "I'm just glad to finally see a smile on your face. So, how long is he staying for?"

"Saturday …." Yes, I wished he could stay until Sunday, but he said something about a family Christmas gathering on Sunday.

It saddened me, knowing I wasn't going to be able to spend Christmas with him. That was the hardest holiday for me, and I couldn't help but to hope he'd want to spend it with me, considering he spent Thanksgiving with me. But he said he had to catch the redeye to some state or another for a meeting first thing Tuesday morning. I couldn't really blame him if he didn't want to spend Christmas with me, especially after our Thanksgiving tragedy.

"Well, that's good," she responded, pulling her shoes out and bringing me out of my thoughts. "At least you'll get a couple of days together." I nodded, because I couldn't agree more. As much as I wished he could give me more time, I was happy as hell to get any.

Alice Whitlock and I became fast friends following my meltdown in the locker room that dreadful day. I'm not sure what it was about her, but she was so incredibly easy to talk to, so inviting in a way I'd never experienced before, and unlike my two best friends, she never once told me I needed to let Edward go—that I needed get on with my life. It was almost as though she could see what he meant to me. It seemed she was determined to help me through the separation as much as she could, and for that, I was grateful.

My friendship with Alice was effortless and refreshing. In a lot ways, she reminded me of Edward—so much so, that when I was with her, I seemed to miss him less. They had very similar mannerisms, and sometimes their catch phrases would be the same, they watched the same shows, and both were from Boston. Maybe that's why I felt the so close to her—she was a connection to Boston when I wanted one the most.

The odd thing about it all was she came at the time I needed someone the most. It was like we had this connection—she could feel when I needed her and there she would be, whether it be a phone call, or a drive by with a cup of coffee. Her advice was heartfelt and non-imposing, and she actually listened to how I felt and what I wanted. She took the time to be the person I needed, instead of being the friend she thought I wanted. She was everything Angela and Vic weren't—understanding, thoughtful, nonjudgmental, and sincere.

I'm not saying my other friends weren't good friends, it's just they weren't Alice, they didn't have her tact, or share the same thoughts we did. Angela and Vic were hardened to men and only saw them as paychecks or easy lays; whereas, Alice still believed there were real men, fairytales, true love, soul mates, and happily ever afters out there for everyone. Angela had Ben, her fiancé, and I knew they were happy together, but a part of me always wondered why he never made her give up stripping? Why was she still showing her goodies to the boys in the club while she had a man across town waiting to make her an honest woman? Yes, Angela didn't sleep around, but that didn't mean she wasn't showing the world what was soon to be married material.

All I knew was if I were with a man—like really with a man, I'd do everything to try to make it work, finding a new job would be the first step. If he didn't ask me to quit, then he wasn't worth the effort to keep. He should want me to keep the goods private and not want the world to see what belonged to him—just saying.

~ Later that afternoon ~

"HE CAN'T BE SERIOUS!" I yelled furiously, throwing my cell phone across my bedroom, making sure that shit hit the wall—and hard. The stupid fucker had yet again cancelled on me, and I was enraged. I just didn't get it. He spewed it thick and heavy on the phone, talking about how much he missed me, and how he couldn't wait to have me in his arms, and yet he kept cancelling.

What the hell? I thought, as there was a knock at my door. Angela poked her head in, not waiting for my response.

"Bella?" she asked with concern clear in her voice. "Everything alright?"

"No!" I hissed. "He cancelled on me. Again!"

Angela shook her head, walking further into my room. She sat on the bed with her hands in her lap and I moved to sit next to her. I figured if I sat, maybe my emotions would settle down, and this blinding rage might subside a bit … wrong … it found another way to get out. My leg had started bouncing and my hands started wringing in my lap as I imagined Edward's neck between them.

"What was his reason this time?" she asked, turning to look at me.

I shrugged exaggeratingly, my arms going out wide to my sides in frustration. "He's sick." I had no idea if he was lying or not, he actually sounded like he might be sick, but he'd been full of excuses lately, and seriously, how hard was it to fake a cold? Especially, from 2718 miles away—yes, I Google Mapped that shit! Doesn't he know that I would take care of him? I would seriously be at his beck and call until he felt better just so I could see his lousy ass!

"Um, wow … you're mad—"

"I don't know, Ang," I quickly interrupted, jumping up from the bed—the rage hitting full force again. "But, I think I'm going to take a bath."

She nodded and stood as well. "Okay," she said, exiting my room without another word. Lately that's about all Vic or Angela will say about Edward—they were afraid to say too much, to make me into a crying, blubbering mess. They had already made their feelings known on the matter, and now they knew to shut the fuck up. I didn't want to hear any more about how he was probably just looking for a piece of ass and how he was probably married or some shit and his wife wouldn't let him come down anymore because she was suspicious. That shit hurt me the most, that they would, inadvertently, think I would sleep with a married man. Fuck, maybe I should Google that shit too! I mean, after all, that was the only way I could see pictures of him anymore. Nothing I'd seen as of yet said anything about a wife—but then again, I only looked at his business profile and picture, it wasn't like he had Facebook.

I closed the door behind her, and I slumped to the floor just as I erupted into a fit of heartbroken sobs. I couldn't believe he was canceling on me, again. It'd been a month since I'd seen him, and I was desperately missing him, needing him.

The more he canceled, the more distant I felt from him and our time together. It was as if with every "no" he offered, the farther within myself I hid. By this point, I couldn't figure out what hurt me more, the fact he told me no again, or because I had allowed myself to hope that he would actually follow through. Hope was something I had finally found after losing it so long ago, only for it to be diminishing—and fast due to his negligence.

I guess when I really thought about it—I wasn't mad at him, how could I be? I was just an easy stripper he picked up on a weekend in Vegas. Yes, I wasn't a whore, but in Vegas, stripper—whore, what's the difference? I think I might have been the only one who didn't put out on the side for huge cash payouts. Over the span of that one night, I became a sure thing … a five thousand dollar sure thing—which turned into a free sure thing. Fuck. I guess not every hooker gets her Pretty Woman moment. Not every woman who sells sex gets her Richard Geer to come and rescue her from her tower.

The more I thought about it—the more I hated myself. Who the fuck really offers five grand for a girl to come back to the hotel just to strip? I played into that. I went for it hook-line-and fucking sinker. I even told him to keep the cash because I thought I fell in love. Was what we had real, or was I just that—an escort while he was here. Because I was free, was that why he decided to take me to San Diego, to give me something back? But then, why all the phone calls, why the text messages? To keep me on for free? To ensure his sure thing?

These notions came coming without end, the more they came, the more confused I became because of things we'd done—the things he'd say. At the end of it all though, when shit got tough, he bailed. When I fucked up and got pregnant, things got real, and he totally stepped off, so was I that farfetched with my thinking? I mean, who really wants to knock up their whore … especially if Vic was right, and he did have a wife at home, who knows, maybe there were some kids in that picture too.

I thought many times about looking at the other sites, not that anything said, "Edward Cullen, Marries So-and-So" in the headlines, but at the same time, if it happened, I was sure it was out there. Could I deal with that on top of everything else? Having the notion he had someone back home was one thing, could I honestly deal with the reality if he did? How would I survive that shit?

FUCK!

Friday, December 22nd, 2006 ~

I decided to take a spin class—I desperately needed to let off some steam and I really wasn't in the mood to hang out at home all day. The less time I gave myself to think about how fucked up my life became, the better. I needed a distraction, which would be why I called Bree—once I'd pulled myself together the night before—and asked if she was still looking for someone to work the weekend for her. I had originally requested to have the weekend off, but considering Edward wasn't coming, I figured what better way to pass my time—stripping for a bunch of horny middle-aged men. A guaranteed distraction. Moreover, Victoria and Angela were working; our trio act had become the clubs next big thing, which meant big tips. Maybe I'd even cut my losses and follow Vic's lead for once, find a good pay to take me home—get Edward out of my system

"I didn't expect to see you here today," Alice pointed out, when I walked into the girls locker room. I had hoped I wouldn't run into her—not because I didn't want to see her, but because I didn't want to admit I'd been stood up once again—I didn't want to discuss Edward. Period.

"I take it he couldn't make it," Alice continued as she pulled on her shoes.

I pulled my workout clothes and shoes from my bag then turned to her. "Nope. He's sick." I didn't say anything else, just turned around and started stripping. I wasn't trying to be a bitch, I just really didn't want to talk about it, and Alice seemed to understand.

"Okay," she chirped, standing from the bench. "Do you want me to save you a bike?"

I smiled at my friend. "Please."

Alice and I decided to have lunch after our spin class, and thankfully, she never brought up the elephant in the room. We actually spent the entire time talking about her holiday plans and the progress of her newest store.

She had been trying to get me to work for her, saying she needed a friendly face in the store and it would make the days so much better, having her best friend with her all day long. I believe she just wanted me out of the club. She was a lot like Edward in that regard, saying I was too good to be working in a strip club. What she and Edward both seemed to forget, was working at the club, made going to school so much easier. I paid out of pocket for everything—tuition and books—because I didn't want a bunch of student loans hanging over my head when I graduated. I wanted to start my career on a clean slate, without the worry of thousands of dollars in debt to repay.

As well as she claimed she'd pay me, I knew it'd never be enough to support myself, as well as go to school. Moreover, at the club, I wasn't required, nor did I need to, work forty hours a week to make my bills and yet still have money enough for college. I knew if I went to work for her, or anywhere else for that matter, I wouldn't have nearly as much time on my hands for studying, and that just wasn't acceptable to me—my education was the most important thing in my world, and I wasn't about to risk that.

In an effort to help her out, I had entertained the idea of working with her one or two days a week, extra money never hurt anyone, and besides, I needed a few things—like a new cell phone with a different number to make it easier to avoid a certain, nameless guy from Boston. It wouldn't hurt me in any aspects to work ten hours a week, then just take off during dead week or whenever I had a big test. The extra money would be a huge plus too.

Tuesday, December 25th, 2006 ~

It was just after midnight, and I couldn't sleep. In my hand, I held the little blue box with white ribbon that held my Christmas gift from the one I'm trying to keep nameless. As the days went on, he made it harder for me to forget he existed. I'd been tossing and turning since I'd went to bed an hour earlier. Edward called just after nine to wish me a Merry Christmas and my mind kept going back to what he'd said. He told me he wished he could have spent the holiday with me, and that he was going to be here on Friday.

Sunday was New Years Eve, and I couldn't help but wonder if he was going to be spending it with me, considering he was going to be in town on Friday. I didn't think to ask while we were on the phone because my mind was still trying to comprehend and believe he was actually going to be here on Friday, but now that was all I could think about.

I sighed, glancing at the clock – 12:09. It was just after three in the morning there, and I wondered if he was sleeping. I'm sure he probably was, but that didn't stop me from calling. I just wanted to wish him a Merry Christmas, considering it was now Christmas in Vegas, and if I were being honest, I really wanted to hear his voice … not to mention, I really wanted to know if he'd be kissing me at midnight on New Years.

I grabbed my phone off the nightstand, and hit the number two. I waited with baited breath as the phone rang and then eventually went to voicemail. I hoped I wouldn't wake him, but that didn't mean I wasn't disappointed he hadn't answered.

"Hey, it's me," I murmured. "I just wanted to say Merry Christmas …. I really miss you, Edward. I can't wait to see you Friday …. Call me tomorrow, please."

With great sadness, I disconnected the call and returned my cell to the nightstand. After rolling over, burrowing myself deeper into the blankets, I willed myself to sleep—the copper haired little girl with green eyes once again invading my dreams.

I woke up shortly after seven to my cell phone ringing, that familiar ring tone causing the silly smile to cover my face as I reached for the phone.

"Hello?" I croaked, before clearing my throat and trying again. "Hello?"

Edward chuckled. "Sorry I woke you. I just wanted to call you back …. Sorry I missed your call last night."

"You mean this morning." I laughed. "No worries. I just couldn't sleep."

He sighed. "I miss you too, baby … so much. I can't wait to see you on Friday."

I smiled, though I knew he couldn't see me. "Me too …. So, about this weekend …." I purposely let it trail off there.

"What about the weekend?" he asked.

"Its New Years …. Are you … well, will you be staying the whole weekend?"

It was silent for a long while. I was starting to get nervous when he finally started talking. "That was my plan …. Unless you have something else to do …."

I shook my head feverishly, though I knew he couldn't see me. "I was hoping you'd say yes …. Definitely don't have anything else to do …. I can't wait. I'm so excited."

"Me too, baby girl. Me too …. But I have to get going, baby. I'll call you later?"

I frowned but agreed anyway.

"Merry Christmas, Bella."

"Merry Christmas, Edward."

Once we hung up, I turned to the blue boxes lying next to me on the bed and decided to go for it. If he didn't show up, I could always pawn it and use the money as a down payment. In the smaller box, inside the pouch, a platinum ring with a diamond encrusted infinity symbol fell into the palm of my hand. I squealed a little at the sparkle and quickly placed it on my right hand. Moving onto the next box, I found a matching necklace—the Tiffany Infinity pendant—and it was beautiful. Being nosey and a little manic, I looked that shit up. The basic ring cost twenty eight hundred dollars, while the necklace was ringing up eighteen! Holy motherfucker! He spent forty six hundred dollars on me—for Christmas nonetheless. What man, just looking for sex, would spend almost five g's on his mistress?

Friday, December 29th, 2006 ~

"Oh, fuck … Edward!" I screamed, slamming my head back against the door of the hotel room.

Did you even make it passed the threshold? my subconscious chastised.

What? He looked totally fuckable, and then his lips were on me … what was I supposed to do?

"God, Bella," he groaned, sucking at my neck as his cock continued to piston inside of me. "You feel so fucking good …."

"Oh, Edward … you …" I cried, tightening the hold my legs currently had. "Oh, I'm gonna …."

"FUCK!" Edward wailed, as my orgasm pulled him over the edge.

Edward's head fell to rest at the junction between my neck and shoulder, panting against my sweat covered skin as I struggled to catch my own breath. After another minute or two, Edward groaned and pulled out of me.

He sat me back on my feet. "God, I've missed you," he whispered, leaning down to place a kiss on my lips before stepping back to pull his pants up.

"Me too," I responded truthfully, locating my own clothes.

"That necklace looks amazing on you," Edward complimented, looking down at his pants as he put them on.

"Thanks, this guy I know got it for me for Christmas."

"Oh, did he now? Should I be jealous?" he asked, winking at me from a few feet away.

"I wouldn't be, he can buy me anything he wants, but he can never make me feel the way you do," I answered with a small smile.

Once we were both completely dressed, we moved into the living room of the penthouse. I made it as far as the edge of the couch before Edward had me wrapped back up in his arms, his lips kissing and sucking at the spot right below my ear … the one that made me Jell-O every time.

I shivered when Edward's hot breath fanned over the sensitive skin.

"So, what do you feel like doing tonight?" he asked, his lips lightly brushing the skin as he spoke.

"Uh," I whimpered. "More of that?"

"Jesus." Edward turned me in his arms and crashed his lips against mine. "That'd be my fucking pleasure, baby," he whispered against my lips, before bringing me back in for another heated, passionate, kiss.

I whimpered as he grabbed my ass cheeks in his hands and lifted me up. My legs wrapped securely around his waist as he carried me through the hotel suite toward the bedroom. He dropped me onto the bed, making me giggle, and then crawled on top of me

My giggle was quickly replaced with a moan when his lips met mine.

Saturday, December 30th, 2006 ~

I woke up the next morning to an empty bed, and immediately sat up, glancing at the clock – 7:43. I glanced around the room, and found the bathroom door open but the room appeared empty. I quickly threw the blankets off me and climbed out of bed, grabbing the sheet to wrap around my naked form as I retreated to the living room of the penthouse.

"… how bad is he?" I heard Edward ask when I opened the door.

I strolled over to the en-suite kitchen, effectively grabbing Edward's attention.

He held his finger up to me, signaling he'd be just a moment then retreated to the bedroom. I found it to be odd, but didn't question it as I pulled an orange juice out of the mini fridge and settled on the couch, turning on the T.V., to wait for Edward.

I turned on MTV – Daughtry's "It's Not Over" was on.

Good song. It struck me as foreboding for some reason and gave me the chills.

Edward came out just as the song was ending and I quickly turned it off, turning my attention to him.

"Everything alright?" I asked.

He shook his head. "No. My Uncle Aro was in an accident …."

"Oh." Yes, that really was my brilliant response. What more could I say? I knew what was coming next and I felt my heart shattering at the thought.

"I …" he sighed, sitting down next to me on the couch. "I've got to go home."

I nodded, but didn't say anything. I could already feel the tears starting to fill my eyes. I'd gotten a night with him and that was it. Now he was going to be leaving me, once again, and I didn't know when I'd get to see him again—if I'd get to see him again. I knew I shouldn't be thinking like that. That my thoughts were selfish, but I couldn't really bring myself to care.

"Bella, I—"

"Its okay, Edward," I interrupted, wiping my tears away. "I understand. I hope you're uncle is alright."

He wrapped his arm around me, kissing my forehead before whispering, "Thank you."

I nodded, again, but didn't say anything. In fact, we sat there just being for a minute when he sighed and pulled away from me.

He got off the couch, and I watched as he retreated into the bedroom, but I didn't follow. I sat there quietly, tears falling wildly down my face, as Edward packed his bag to once again leave me, and that's when I realized I couldn't do it anymore. Say goodbye. I just couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't beat myself up between visits like I did this last time. I couldn't make myself feel like a whore—his whore because I didn't have all his attention. I had too many unanswered questions going through my mind, too many insecurities adding up and this was becoming unhealthy for me.

I found myself thinking of actions just to spite him, because I'd been hurt—actions, that on a normal day, I never would have even entertained the idea of. Him breaking my heart, time and time again had to stop. I had to look out for myself and do what was best for me.

"The room's paid up," Edward said, walking back into the living room of the suite. "So feel free to stay …. Bella?"

I turned to look at him, and he dropped his suitcase onto the floor.

"I– I …" I stuttered, wiping my tears away. "I know … I know this isn't a good time—"

"Bella …" he interrupted, but didn't go on. I believe he knew what was coming, and apparently, he wasn't going to fight for me. I had my answer to all my questions right there. I was nothing more than a glorified whore to him.

I reached up around my neck and unclasped the necklace, then pulled the ring off before leaving them on the coffee table in front of me. "I … I can't do this anymore, Edward."

"I …" he started to say, but I don't think he really knew how to proceed.

"I'm sorry." I stood up, and turned to face him. "I just … it's too hard …." A sob ribbed through me, and Edward wasted no time pulling me into his arms.

I felt myself starting to reconsider, or my thoughts were just a giant jumbled mess rather, because that was what happened when he touched me, when he held me. I felt safe, and I'd love to stay in those arms everyday of forever.

"I know, and I'm sorry—" His phone chirping brought me back to reality and I quickly stepped out of his embrace.

"It's okay, Edward. I … I just need some time …." I wasn't really sure whether that was the truth or not. I knew I couldn't continue like this, only seeing him once or twice a month, but I wasn't entirely sure I could go without seeing him anymore either.

He nodded his head, whispering a faint, "Okay." He looked down at the phone going ape-shit in his hand then back up at me. I smiled a small smile and turned to grab my belongs.

With tears still falling wildly down my face, I stood on my tippy toes and placed one last, lingering kiss on his lips, whispered, "Goodbye, Edward." And turned to leave the hotel suite. He never stopped me … never came after me … obviously never cared.

**Author's Note**

Well, you know the drill … leave me a review :)