Greetings readers of fic! So sorry for the lack of updates. I kinda got caught up in both homework and other fic ideas (namely Psych). Keep an eye out for those ones later if you're a fan. Thanks for all your wonderful reviews and here's chapter 15.
Lawyers: Our client does not own Scrubs or Dead Like Me, nor is she gaining any profit by writing this story. Don't sue her.
Chapter 15
JD's POV
It was close to three in the morning when I called a cab to drive me back to Sacred Heart so that I could grab Sasha and head home. Dr. Cox had gone back up to his room when I left to do whatever one does while they're a ghost. He's probably still ranting to himself about how this is all just one big dream. I'm not looking forward to when he finally wakes up.
I had hoped to sneak into the apartment without confronting either Carla or Turk. I really didn't want to talk to them about death and what had happened. For the next few weeks, I know I'll be far too busy helping Dr. Cox adjust to reaper life. I won't have time to grieve and I just know they'll try to get me to express my feelings.
Not only that, but it's a little weird grieving for someone who technically is still 'alive' and walking around. No, I'll just bottle up all my grief inside me and cut out that little piece to tumor later.
Unfortunately, Carla and Turk waited up for me on the couch. Well, Carla did, Turk had fallen asleep at some point.
"JD, where have you been? We've been worried sick!" Carla said before jabbing Turk in the side with her elbow to wake him up.
"I was just resting my eyes!" he snorted as he bolted upright and blinked the sleep from his eyes before turning to me and saying casually, "Hey, J-Dog."
"I've been around," I said vaguely. "Needed to clear my head."
Carla stared at me with concern. Her eyes were bloodshot and her face was void of makeup. She probably washed it all off because it got runny from her tears. Dr. Cox's death was hitting her hard, quite possibly even harder than the death of her mother.
Turk's sadness was sympathetic and subdued. He hadn't known Dr. Cox as well as Carla and I did, so his grief wasn't as intense as ours. He seemed more upset about how it was affecting us, not to say that he didn't care about Dr. Cox, it was just complicated. Even if it did affect him strongly, he wouldn't show it. He was fallen into the roll of being a strong shoulder for us to lean on.
"We tried to contact Dan, see if he knew where you were," Turk said. "He wasn't picking up his cellphone though and he took the puppy with him."
I might as well tell them now; they're going to hear about it sooner or later.
"Dan's dead," I said in a monotonous tone that surprised even me.
"What?" Carla gasped. "How?"
"Car accident," I said, my voice becoming strained.
I have to be strong. I can't let this devastate me.
"It was pretty bad," I continued.
An explosion. A fiery car explosion with nothing left of his body... Or at least that's the cover story.
"His body's being sent back home to mom," I said.
Another lie. There won't even be a funeral. He's already had one around three hundred years ago, it would be pointless to hold a second one. Besides, funerals are more for the living loved-ones the dead leave behind, and I'm not exactly alive.
"I have someone watching the dog right now," I said.
That was true, except it was Dr. Cox who was dead but still here. This couldn't be more screwed up.
"JD, are you okay?" Carla asked sadly, but carefully, as if I would explode right then and there. She had tears in her eyes again. I couldn't tell if they were sympathetic or genuine. Maybe it was just the shock of another death of someone she knew so soon after Dr. Cox.
Now they were both staring at me now with concern and sympathy. I wish they would stop. I don't need sympathy or concern anyway. I'm fine. This isn't affecting me because nobody's really dead, they're just living different existences. Yes, I'm perfectly fine.
"I'm going to bed," I said, not looking at them as I retreated to my room and closed the door.
My bed smelled like Dan, but that was fine. I was okay with that. It didn't bother me at all.
I slept on the floor that night.
Perry's POV
For the rest of that night and the following day, I stayed in the hotel room. My only company was a hyperactive puppy whose name I didn't know. I think for now I'll call him Pain-In-My-Ass. The name really seems to suit him. Unlike what I thought last night, I really don't think he knows that I'm, for lack of a better word, a ghost.
No, I can't throw your little toy goose for you, I can't even touch it, and for the love of Me (because there's clearly no God in this dreamed-up afterlife of mine. In your face Paige, I knew it!) stop whining at the door! I can't let you out. I can't even open the door, and even if I could, I don't think this hotel is pet friendly, though I could be wrong.
Well, that's a lovely little mess you made on the floor there, Pain-In-My-Ass. I'll let Newbie clean that up the next time he stops by. I'm starting to wonder if maybe you are aware of my condition and you're doing this just to screw with me. You seem the type, like you're Jordan's second child.
As expected, Newbie stopped by later that day and I watched with a smirk as he cleaned up the furball's different messes. He took the pup outside for a bit before returning and filling up his food and water bowl. I stayed in the room the whole time, not about to follow Newbie around the same way he did while I was working at Sacred Heart.
Once he was done with all these small tasks, I decided to break the silence I had been subjected to for the past several hours and asked the kid what he named the puppy. Really, it was for pure boredom's sake, I didn't care what he named the mutt and personally I think Pain-In-My-Ass is a fine name for a dog... or an intern.
Newbie just shrugged and gave me some story about how he wasn't keeping the dog so he wasn't naming it, but I could tell that was a load of bull.
'Don't sound too sure about that, do you Delilah?'
So Newbie left again, after turning on the TV of course, I made sure of that. He promised to come back again, but I just waved him off. Come, go, do whatever you want. I don't need your support. This is a stupid dream anyway.
He did come back, the very same day in fact, and I couldn't help but ask, "Don't you have work today?"
"Nope," he said as he flipped through the different TV channels. He was sitting in one of the hotel chairs while I sat on the bed and the puppy trotted around between us. "Kelso's made me take some time off. Doesn't think I'm mentally stable to be around patients. 'Time to grieve' is what he called it."
"That's a load of crap," I said as I turned my attention back to the TV. "You know perfectly well that I'm right here."
"Yeah," Cindy agreed. "But I can't explain that to them."
After setting the TV to a channel I liked, he left soon after. He stopped by again the next day and continued to make frequent visits as each day dragged on. Every time he came he would take care of the furball and ask me if I needed anything. However, being a ghost had its huge disadvantages and the only thing I ever needed was for him to change the channel.
Although not many days had passed, they became repetitive. I found myself going from believing it was all just a dream to hoping it was a dream. Something like this couldn't be real. I couldn't be dead.
'Please let me still be in the hospital, sick but alive. Don't let this hotel room be my hell.'
It had been around two or three days since this dream began and it was the morning of New Years Eve the next time Newbie stopped by. He was dressed in a black suit; the very same one he wore to Ben's funeral. His attitude was completely different from all his other visits. Before he had seemed both distracted and aloof. This time though, he was nervous and unsure, he seemed to dread every coming second.
"Your funeral starts in about an hour," he said. "If you're to move on, you need to put your old life to rest."
He held open the door for me despite the fact that I could pass straight through it if I wanted to. It was foreboding and cheesy all at the same time. I don't really know why I followed him out of the hotel and into a cab waiting by the front entrance. Maybe it was morbid curiosity or maybe it was a hope that the dream would end if I saw my own funeral. Dreams like these usually had some sort of message to get across, so maybe I was supposed to go to my funeral, have some big epiphany and then wake up.
The taxi cab took us to the same cemetery Ben was buried in and stopped near the front gates. After we got out of the cab, Newbie snapped a surgical face mask over his nose and mouth. We walked from there until we reached a mass of people dressed in black surrounding an open casket with flowers laid out on top of it. I shuddered at the brief glimpse I got of myself before looking away.
I turned my attention to all the mourners and noticed that everyone was wearing the same face mask Newbie had previously put on. It was a strange sight to see, everyone dressed in black with bright white face masks covering their noses and mouths. I was surprised by how many people had come. Many were co-workers from Sacred Heart and some were patients I had treated in the past. My old mentor had come too. There were also distant relatives as well as my remaining close family: Paige, Jordan, Jack and even Danni.
Newbie patted my shoulder before leaving to take a seat next to Carla and Gandhi. Everyone was seated by this point and the cemetery was silent save for the muted crying of the people around me. Jordan was sitting in the front row with Paige on one side, Danni on the other, and Jack in her lap.
I slowly walked around the mass of people until I was standing in front of my ex-wife. Even with the face mask on, I could tell she was keeping her face was completely expressionless. Her puffy, red eyes gave her away though. I knew she would miss me and had the situation been different and not as serious, I would so rub it in her face.
I turned my attention to Jack. My little boy. I knelt down in front of him and although he couldn't see me, I forced a smile on my face.
"Hey there, Jackie," I said quietly.
I wish he could hear me. I don't know what I'd tell him if he could, but I wish I could tell him something that could bring even a small form of comfort to him. He didn't even look sad. He probably doesn't even know what's going on, he's still so young. Granted, I've told him so many different things that someone his age probably shouldn't know about, but I don't know if death was one of those things.
"Daddy loves you," I finally said. "Daddy's here."
A priest stepped before my coffin and started his little spiel. I couldn't believe they got a priest to speak at my funeral. They know how I feel all that religious crap. I bet this is Jordan and Paige's doing. They probably went in on it together. Jordan gets to flip me off one last time and Paige finally gets me involved in her crazy religious beliefs.
I stood up, leaned close to Paige and murmured, "I got news for you, sister dear, your god doesn't exist."
The priest finished his boring speech and then a few other people gave their own little speeches. Everyone laughed and cried over all the stories told about me, some of which were embarrassing. I gotta say, there is no respect for the dead. I could have gone without people knowing about my first freak-out and screw-up as an intern.
Then it was Newbie's turn to talk. He didn't look like he was going to at first, but Carla pushed him to it. So he stood up and began with, "Dr. Cox was a mentor to me, though he would never admit it..."
He went on to talk about how I helped him become the doctor he is today, how I showed him the ropes, and how I had a gruff exterior, but underneath it all, I was a good man who cared about his patients even after all the years I'd worked at the hospital. Clarabelle's eyes watered a bit and as I listened to his speech and watched his fake sadness, I felt a rage build up inside of me.
He had no right!
Here he was, talking about me in the past-tense, saying how he'd miss me, when he in fact knew I was right here. He could see me and talk to me whenever he wanted and yet here he stood, pretending that he was grieving my loss. It was like he was mocking my funeral and everyone around him.
"That's a lot of bullshit coming from someone who saw me less than an hour ago!" I shouted and Newbie stopped talking. He sat down and everyone took it as a sign that he was too distraught to go on. Well, almost everyone. I couldn't help but notice that the Janitor as well as a couple other people from the hospital glanced over at me.
Everyone stood up and lined up by my coffin with Jordan and Jack first in line, Paige was right behind her. I walked over to my coffin and stood next to it. My gaze was drawn like a magnet to my body and I grimaced at the sight. They had used makeup to make me appear more alive, but all it did was make me look fake. I can't believe my body was going to be wearing all that girly crap for the rest of eternity.
Jordan murmured something to my corpse I couldn't hear before placing a flower on top the coffin. She then lifted Jack up and he threw his flower into the coffin. It landed on my body's folded hands.
Turning around to Paige, Jack whispered, "Daddy's sleeping. Shhh!"
It brought tears to my sister's eyes and Jordan led him away. One by one, people walked up to my coffin and paid their respects. Some of them said something to me, others were silent as they lay down a flower; as if my funeral wasn't girly enough...
I never did like flowers, and as they piled up on my coffin, I felt angry again. Not at the people, not even really at Newbie, just angry. I wanted to push the stupid plants off my coffin, but I knew I couldn't.
They were wasting their time, piling the flowers onto my coffin, murmuring choked words to my corpse as if it would come back to life and say, "No, really, it's okay that you never got to know me while I was alive. Hell, I wouldn't have wanted to know you alive or dead and would you take back your girly flower. I mean really, pink? For me? Come on now!"
"You're wasting your time," I muttered angrily, then shouted, "I'm not dead!" I knew some of them could see me, I saw their sympathetic glances. I didn't care though. "Do you hear me? I'm alive! None of this is real!"
I looked to the sky, as if I could see some sort of higher power, and raged, "I don't know what your big message is, but I'm tired of your games!"
The last person laid his flower down and walked away.
"Damnit, let me wake up!" I screamed, but nothing happened.
Nothing changed. I was still here in the cemetery, standing next to a coffin that held my corpse. The coffin was closed and everyone stood around me in a circle. The priest began his closing speech as my body was slowly lowered down into the ground. I wasn't sure if they were going to bury me now or later, but I wasn't about to stand around and watch, so I left.
Newbie broke away from the crowd after muttering a quick excuse to Carla and his other half. He followed me across the cemetery, not saying a word, and stopped when I stopped at the front gate.
He stared at me silently, waiting for me to talk. I finally asked in a defeated tone, "This is real, isn't it Newbie?"
He nodded sadly and said quietly, "Yes."
As much as I hated to admit it, and as much as I didn't want it to be true, seeing my own funeral revealed to me the painful truth of my new reality. This wasn't a dream. It was a living nightmare and it was really happening. I was dead, or rather, I was undead.
"Do you want to go to the wake?" Newbie asked as he hesitantly grabbed the sleeve of my hospital clothes. Hopefully I wouldn't be wearing those forever.
I shook my head. I had seen enough for the day. I didn't want to have to stand around as a ghost and listen to people talk about my life, as if I wasn't there, and give their condolences to my family.
Newbie pulled out his phone and dialed for another taxi. We waited in silence for it to come. It soon pulled around to the front gate and Newbie opened the door for me. I climbed in without a biting remark; all of the fight in me had faded. I slumped against one of the doors just as the taxi driver asked where he was driving. Newbie didn't answer at first, and my gaze drifted over to him curiously. He seemed to be thinking about something for a moment before a smile broke out on his face.
'Uh-oh...'
"P3 club on Springsun Avenue," he said.
The driver nodded as he pulled away from the cemetery and I narrowed my eyes suspiciously at the kid.
"What the hell are you planning, Margo?" I growled.
I was not in the mood for his games.
"Relax," he said. "We're going to a New Years party."
"I'm not really in a partying mood, Newbie," I sighed as I looked out the window and watched the scenery passing by.
"This isn't your average party," he said, mischievous as ever. "Trust me, it'll be fun."
End of chapter 15. Not one of my most favorite chapters, but I've already rewritten it twice, so it'll have to do. In case you're wondering: Yes, P3 is the same P3 from Charmed (insert disclaimer for Charmed here).
Review please!