My apologies for taking so long on getting this chapter to you, I've had a major case of writers block, but I do hope that's behind me now.

Thank you angelnlove52, booklover484, and MeantforMore, for all that you've done!

No copyright infringement intended.

CHAPTER 13

BPOV ~

Saturday, February 3rd, 2007 ~

I had absolutely no idea how the conversation was going to go, or even what he had to say for that matter, but it definitely needed to happen. In fact, it should have happened before our little table romp, but it didn't, so reluctantly, I settled on the penthouse couch, next to Edward, and attempted to prepare myself for the unknown.

"I, uh …" he started. "I'm really sorry I wasn't there for you after the—well, after the miscarriage."

I nodded, wiping away tears I didn't even realize I was shedding. "I know … I just …." I didn't know what to say, so I just stopped talking. I wanted to tell him how head over heels in love with him I was, that he was all I could think about day in and day out. How he was my first thought in the morning and my last at night. Nevertheless, I couldn't tell him. I just couldn't bring myself to actually say it—at least not yet.

Edward pulled me into his arms and kissed my forehead. "I'm so sorry, Bella."

I pulled back and looked him straight in the eyes. "I know you are, Edward. I just … what was, is, going on with us? I mean … am I just a continental booty call?"

His eyes nearly fell out of his face. "What? God, no, Bella. How could you think that?" I didn't reply, I just ducked my head and started picking at my cuticles, tears falling freely down my cheeks. Did he really need me to tell him how I could think that?

"Baby, please look at me." When I didn't, he put a finger under my chin and lifted my face so he could look me in the eyes. "You were not, in anyway, a booty call. Trust me, not seeing you, canceling on you all the time—it was just as hard on me. I hated the idea of hurting you, I just, I didn't …."

I wiped the rest of my tears away, and whispered, "I get it, Edward. I really do. I just—"

"Bella …." He cupped my face in his hands and brought his lips to mine for a quick but gentle kiss. "I have something I need to tell you …." My heart stuttered—I was fairly certain I wasn't going to like what he had to say.

I felt the tears start to sting my eyes once again, and I was sure he could see it as well, because his face was lit with the pain I was currently feeling. This couldn't be it. It can't end like this.

Please, God, not like this.

I climbed off his lap, stumbling back a bit when my trembling legs gave out on me. My ass landed on the coffee table sitting in front of the couch, and I quickly scrambled off it, swiftly getting back on my feet and out of Edward's reach.

"Please don't," I cried, shaking my head as the tears continued to stain my cheeks. "Please don't say it." If he said it, it meant it was true, and my whole world was about to come crashing down around me.

Edward was immediately on his feet, his arms reaching out to me. I wanted to run into them, but I knew I couldn't—so I stood there, staring at him, waiting for him to say the words I knew he was going to say. Waiting for him to confirm that my friends were indeed right, and I was a complete fucking moron.

How could I have been so damn naïve?

"Bella," he whispered. "I—the moment I saw you on that stage, I knew you were the one—"

"The one?" I snapped, finally finding my voice. He was seriously going to tell me I was the one, when he already had a one? What the fuck?! "How can you—say what you needed to say, Edward." I waited for him to say it, and when he didn't, I said it for him. "You're married, aren't you?"

"Bella—"

"Are you married?" I repeated, crossing my arms over my chest—gaining one hell of a fucking attitude. How dare he?

He just stared at me and I stared back. I don't know how long we stood there staring at each other before he finally decided to speak. "Yes," he finally answered.

I exhaled a large gust of air and started shaking—my arms and legs, both, trembling as I stood there wondering if I'd actually heard the "yes" or had I imagined it.

Did he just admit to me that I wasn't just some booty call but his mistress?

"Please listen to me," he whispered. "Let me explain."

I stared at him blankly, it was the only thing I could do. I couldn't move, I couldn't feel, I couldn't even find the strength to start screaming and throwing things at him, I couldn't do anything. I honestly felt like I was frozen to the floor. My heart was pounding in my ears and I could feel tears falling steadily as I stood there staring at him, waiting for him to explain how I became his mistress.

"I've never believed in the whole 'love at first sight' thing—until I saw you on that stage," he began, looking down at the floor. Roughly, he ran his fingers through his hair and tugged at it harshly before looking back up at me. "Can we please sit down and I'll start at the beginning? Bella, I don't want to lose you—I can't."

Not sure on how to truly respond, I nodded slowly and made to sit down in the chair across from where Edward was sitting. There was no way I was getting any closer to him until I could wrap my head around how I had been so foolish.

"Tanya—my wife—we've, well, we've known each other our entire lives. We started dating in college—she was honestly my best friend, Bella. I loved her, but I've grown to realize I was never in love with her. At this point, our marriage is purely out of obligation. I never thought I'd find someone I would grow to care about as deeply as I do about you. I never thought true love existed. But, Bella, now that I've found you, I believe it exists and I can't lose you. It would kill me if I lost you."

Ever so slowly, he got up and made his way over to me, kneeled at my feet and folded his hands in my lap. "Say the word and I will give it all up. I'll go back to Boston, file for a divorce, and you and I can have a start fresh here. Please—before you tell me no, think about it. I know I messed up, but I'm also pretty sure you feel as strongly for me as I do you. I'm not willing to give up on us, Bella. Tell me what I have to do to fix this. Tell me what I have to do to keep you."

I took in a deep breath, all this new information about the man I thought I knew was rushing around me, creating convoluted reactions and thoughts. I had no idea how to process what it was he was saying. I didn't know what to do. I knew what I wanted to do, but I also knew what it would mean in the end. What it would make me.

"Edward, you say you're willing to give it all up, but what exactly would you be giving up if you were to leave her?"

Edward's eyes shot down to the ground before he took a deep breath to answer. "Honestly?" he whispered. "I really don't know. If she doesn't try to contest the prenup it'd be about twenty million dollars, but if she knows anything about us I'm certain she'd petition the courts to have it overturned and take me for everything I have—including Masen Industries." I stared at him, not knowing what to say. I knew what Masen Industries meant to him—what it would do to him if he lost it, and I also knew I couldn't be the reason he lost it. I'd never forgive myself.

"If I were to leave her now," he went on to say. "I could end up with nothing to carry us into our new lives. We'd be starting from scratch."

"I don't care about that," I whispered. "I'm not with you because of your money, Edward."

"I know, baby, I just want you to realize what our lives would look like if I left before I'm supposed to."

Now that got my attention. "Supposed to?" I questioned.

He nodded. "Yes. Mauve and Rich, her grandparents, they set up a trust fund for each of their grandchildren when they were born. The original terms of the trusts stated that upon their eighteenth birthday, they'd receive half of it and the other half on their twenty-fifth, but Tanya was your typical little rich girl. Spoiled rotten, and had her daddy wrapped tightly around her little finger.

"She learned early on that money held power, and in her eyes, if you had money, you could get away with pretty much anything." I narrowed my eyes, but he didn't give me a chance to say anything. "Her father was charged with money laundering just before her thirteenth birthday—long story short, he pretty much walked." I stared at him in disbelieve—I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"By the time we started high school she was definitely on a path of destruction—skipping school, shoplifting; she even got suspended for smoking pot in the parking lot. They knew if they didn't step in and do something she was going to end up ruining her life."

He shrugged as though we were talking about the weather. "So after careful consideration they decided to change the trust terms and added a few clauses. They agreed to pay for her schooling, as well as continue to support her through college, but only if she maintained a 3-point GPA or higher. If she didn't go to school, or her GPA fell below a 3-point she would receive no financial assistance from her grandparents or her parents—she would be completely on her own until she turned thirty-five, at which time she'd receive five-million of her twenty-million trust—the remaining fifteen-million being disbursed in one-million increments yearly."

"Okay, but what does this have to do with you staying married to her for a set amount of time?" I asked, wanting him to hurry up and get to the point.

"Well, the same terms applied to her going to college—five-million to be released upon graduation, the remaining fifteen-million being disbursed yearly, or on her fifth wedding anniversary. Well, needless to say, she blew through the five-million in a matter of years. She hated not having access to her trust. Thought it was insane for them to think she could live off a mere million dollars a year.

"Tanya and I had been together for a while by the time she told me about all the clauses on her prenup—I'd already planned on asking her to marry me ….." He sighed and looked up at me; I could see how much this was hurting him, how much he regretted marrying Tanya. "Our prenup states if we divorce before our fifth anniversary, I have to pay her the amount of the trust plus two million for each year married, but if we divorce after our fifth anniversary, we both walk away with only our own assets—she wouldn't be entitled to anything of mine, or me of hers."

He looked so heartbroken and I couldn't resist any longer, I had to touch him. I needed to sooth him as much as l did myself, so I took a deep breath and leaned forward. I placed my forehead against his and then ran my hands through his hair. This was so much to comprehend. For the first time in my life, I thought I found someone I could share my life with, someone I could love, but now that someone was sitting in front of me explaining the in's and out's of his marriage.

It didn't matter how much, or even how hard I tried to deny it, I loved Edward, and I knew that he loved me too. Which meant as much as I didn't like the fact that I was his mistress, I knew that if I wanted to have a life with him, I would have to remain just that until he could either figure out a way to leave Tanya without losing everything, or until their fifth anniversary. I didn't know if I could do that—if I could knowingly be someone's mistress. The only thing I was certain of, was that I couldn't be the reason he lost Masen Industries. I would never forgive myself.

"Baby, please say something, anything." He pressed a kiss against the inside of my right wrist. "Just tell me what you're thinking, please?"

I brought my eyes to his, not really sure what to say—what I was thinking. I was numb, not really thinking anything. "I—I don't know, Edward," I finally sighed. "I don't—you're married, Edward. I'm your mistress!" I stood up abruptly, making him stumble back a bit.

He righted himself quickly, and came to stand in front of me. "Bella, please," he pleaded. "I can't lose you. Please let me make this right. I swear, all you have to do is say yes, and I'll go back to Boston and file for a divorce. I don't care, she can have it all."

I shook my head, tears quickly filling my eyes once again. "That's not fair, Edward. You can't—I won't be the reason you lose Masen Industries."

He stepped forward and lifted my chin, forcing me to look at him again. "I don't know that I would, Bella, at least not for certain. Our prenup is pretty solid, but my attorney—"

"Your attorney?" I interrupted. "You've talked to an attorney?"

He nodded, gesturing towards the couch. "Please sit back down." I sighed, but I didn't say anything, as I made my way to the couch and sat down. He smiled a sad smile and then joined me. "Yes, I've spoken with my attorney. He's worried she may be able to have the prenup overturned."

"But if it's solid?" I questioned, watching as he reached up to wipe a tear off my cheek. The light touch alone ignited a fire deep inside me and I knew I was a goner. There was no way I was going to be able to walk away from him. I may not have said it aloud yet, but I was definitely in love with the man, and the idea of this being the end of us tore my heart to shreds.

"Prenups get overturned all the time." I nodded, solemnly lowering my eyes to my lap, a feeble attempt to keep him from seeing the fresh batch of tears that were forming. "Bella," he whispered. "Baby, please look at me."

I wiped the tears away and met his eyes, but he didn't say anything; he just sat there staring at me, so I stared back, tears falling freely down my face as I tried to figure it all out in my head. I knew sending him back to his wife and never seeing him again was the right thing to do, I just didn't know if I could do it, especially when all I wanted was to be selfish and tell him to leave it all behind and stay with me.

I felt the couch shift and his arms wrap around me, but I was so far inside my head that I didn't notice, or I subconsciously chose not to, either way, I didn't resist when he pulled me onto his lap. I burrowed my face into the junction between his neck and shoulder, and let his scent invade my senses.

"Bella," he whispered, lightly caressing my back. "I can't lose you. Baby, please tell me you can move past this—that we can move past it. I swear, Bella, I'll do anything." I lifted my head so I could see his face, and the worry written all over it nearly broke my heart. Why is this happening? What did I do to deserve this?

"I—I can't be the reason you lose everything, Edward. I would never forgive myself."

"We don't know for sure that I would, but the only way we're going to know for sure is if I file."

I shook my head, the tears falling wildly, again. "I can't, Edward. I can't be the reason. I just—"

He placed both hands on my face, forcing me to look into his tear-filled eyes. "Then I'll find a way," he interrupted. "I'm not letting you go, Bella." He brought his lips to mine, pressing a gentle kiss against them as a painful sob ribbed through me. I sobbed for the loss of the baby we would never get to know, for the possibility that I could be the reason Edward loses everything, and mostly because there was a probability that I could lose Edward.

**Author's Note**

Show me some love :)