Kensi set on her couch and she was a little nervous, Nell will come in few minuts and Kensi need to think how to tell her that she had a crush on Deeks.
Its not like she confess to herself. She will actually tell another human being that she loves Deeks.
She dont know why its so hard,maybe its the fear that started to creep in to her mind, a fear that Deeks dont share the same love for her, she cant ruin this friendship. She cant lose Deeks.
But in the other side of the fear there is hope. She rememberd the dream she had at night, the best dream she have ever had, what if Deeks does love her, it could be just like the dream. But does it worth the risk?
Yes, Deeks worth the risk, there is not doubt that Deeks is worth the risk.
But the fear is still there. She does take some comfort that the risk is worth it, but the fear is stil raging,
the fear of rejection, the fear of abandonment. What if he does love her but they dont work out? what if the dream won't come true,the entire team will suffer the fallout if they dont work out. If they won't work out the team will never be as it were.
Deeks brought somthing else to the team, he make the day a little more light with all his jokes,with all his good mood he bring a smille to every one in the wrost of times. The team learned to love Deeks over the years. Between all the bodies, the Terrorist and keeping the state safe its nice to have someone like Deeks. Someone that see things the other way, that somehow no matter how worse things are, he can bring smille on every face. They need Deeks there, they need him to make every thing better. They will never tell him that of course, but they need him.
The fear is growing with every second that pass. If they won't work out Deeks will propably go back to the LAPD and she cant have that. She cant lose her best friend. Deeks is the best partner she ever had and she dont want to ruin what they have. She dont know how she could make this job without him any more. No, the posibility of losing him its not an option.
She cant imagen walking into the bullpen and not see his face every morning, smilleing at her. She cant imagen the life without the flirting without the teasing and without Deeks. Its to much to lose.
But when she thinks about the other side again. What if they do wotkout? She cant help to think that it will be perfect, the attraction is there, yep there is clearly attraction beteen them, but there was always something more there. Something else. Something that she cant put her finger on it, evey look that he gave her it was there, the sparkle that he saved just for here but she dont know what it is. She sometimes wished that was love. Maybe it was love, but she cant just go up to him and ask him that, that might scare him off. She wished there is simple answer to that simple question 'Does he love me?' only four words that the answer to them was either going to smush her world on her or make her the happiest human being ever.
She went back to her dream, she rememberd how perfect it was to kiss Deeks. How perfect it was when he pop the question and how good it felt to say yes. How perfect was the moment when the team came and saw the whole thing. The happeins was there, there is no doubt about it. A relationship with Deeks will be a good thing.
With that, the fear was almost gone. The hope was there, the hope for better ending, the hope for something more with Deeks, the hope for a relationship with Deeks. And with that the fear was completly gone,she was no longer nervous because Deeks is worth the risk.
She knew Deeks was diffrent. Diffrent from Jack and every other man she ever is met. He is considering, carring and loving. When she says she is 'Fine' he doesn't let go like the others. He make sure that she is trully fine. He ask her what is wrong, and when she push him away he will show up in her door step in the evening with sixpack of bear. He will not leave her alone no matter what even if she annoyed by him.
He will make her talk, He will make her open up because he care, because he is that way, no matter how hard things going to be with her he will face it.
He will keep her grounded he will keep her aflot, he won't let her sink under the water. No matter how hard it will be. he won't let her shut him down he will push and push until she broke and tell him Why she is in a bad mood or just a little upset.
Deeks bring her a smille on his face. When she sees him in the bullpen there is a smille on her face. he make her smille with only a simple smille of his. He will make a joke or a sily comment about something that Sam or Callen say and no matter how hard things will be, no matter that she was angry at him or someone else, the smille will appear on her face. because Deeks got some power on her she cant explain. He will make her smille even when she is upset.
she will win this fight she will kick every other woman ass in this world to get him she will... The phone took Kensi out of her thoughts, she looked at the caller ID and saw it was Nell.
"Hey Nell."
"Hi Kens, I will be at your place in a few minutes."
"Ok, good I will see you then. Bye".
Ok here come the moment of truth. Its time to man up and tell Nell.
Few minute passed and there was a knock on the door. Kensi went to the door and found Nell standing outside.
"Come in Nell, good to see you."
"Hi Kensi so you going to tell me now what you need help with? Cause i got to tell you, you got me really curious in the phone." Nell said as she set on the couch. Kensi went to the kitchen and brought them bear.
"Ya I realized that on the phone. Ok so here it is... I am kinda... Well really... " Come on Kensi spit it out, how hard it must be.
"Kens, the only thing you told me its about Deeks. What about him?." Nell was amused by the rumbeling of the older agent.
"Hmm... I am kinda... Well... Truly... Hmm...how can i put it... well..."
"I got an idea." Nell saw on the table a piece of paper and a pen, she took them and hand them over to Kensi."Write what you want to say on the paper." Kensi took the piece of paper and wrote something and gave it to Nell. Nell looked on the paper and almost passed out. 'I am in love with Deeks and I need your help to win him over'."Dear god, Dear god, Dear god..."
"Will you help me?." Kensi saw the shock in Nell face.
"You love him? Oh my god you love him! you love Deeks!."Nell was shocked. Of course she saw there is some attraction between the two but she never thought it was love.
"Ya, last night I realized that." Kensi started to relax and she rememberd it was Nell she was talking with. There is no real reason to panick.
"How? I mean When? Like how long you are in love with him?."
"Like I said it was last night I realized that I love him, but I guess I loved him for a long time but only last night I let my self think about it."
"what got you to think about it?."
"Last night I called Deeks and asked him to come over just like every friday night, to watch a movie and fell asleep on the couch with me. But he refused, he didn't told me why, but that got me thinking about why he refused. the first thought I got was that he got a date with some bimbo blonde and then it got me thinking 'Do I want Deeks to fell in love with someone else?' I realized I want him for my self and i will not stop until he will be mine. Will you help me Nell? I really love him and I need all the help I can get to do this."
"Hmm... I always saw something between you two, there is always the spark over there with every look and every touch. Ya, now that I think about it I really shouldn't be that suprised. So what kind of help you need?."
"I want you to help me make a plan to his heart."
"Intresting, very intresting, I can help with that."
"Great."
"Ok ,what we need to do first is to knock him out of his feet."
"How we going to do that?."
"I got few ideas."
"like what."
"You need to treat him better. you need to make much more physical contact. every chance you get to touch him take it, but not just a second touch, you need to put it there a few second more then it should be."
"I can do that. Much more physical contact i got it, I am with him almost every step of the day so it's not going to be that hard."
"Good, hmm... I got a devious thought..."
"What kind of devious thought?."
"The best kind my dear Kensi, the best kind..."
i hope you like it. i worked harder on this on. tell me if you like it and if there is something i can do to improve it