Hola mis loyal amigos! I know what you are probably thinking, and no, I did not fall off the face of the Earth, I was just EXTREMELY busy. You know, freshman year is not as easy as it looks. However, today is officially the first day of summer, as I just took my final exam, so I hereby vow to try and update more regularly this summer season. Anyways, I know you all have been waiting a while, so I will get to the story. Disclaimer por favor!

Zia: magicalunicorn000 does not own TheKaneChronicles.

Carter: Or else we all would be dead by now.

Me: Hey, I try my best!

Zia and Carter: …

Me: I thought we were friends!

Zia: Really? That's sad.

Me: 0:

C

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I have a pretty picture perfect life. I have a beautiful, witty, intelligent wife who loves me, and a surprisingly well behaved and adorable son. Zia says I just think he is adorable because he looks like me. Well, what is wrong with that? Good looks just run in the family!

I woke up this morning to the sound of Zia's addictive laugh. Every time I hear it, I can't help but laugh too. I sat up groggily, climbed out from underneath the covers, and walked out to the living room. There I found Zia laying on her back on the carpet, with Connor sitting up on her stomach, smiling really wide at his mom. I got down on my hands and knees and began to crawl over to them. As I crept closer, Connor noticed me before Zia did, and smiled at me and clapped. Zia didn't turn around, so I crept closer until I got to where they were, I leaned over and kissed Zia. When I broke apart, she looked stunned.

"Good morning." She said, smiling at me.

"Morning." I replied, and lay down next to her. Connor leaned over towards me, gurgling and drooling all over me, he was 6 months now, and was beginning to grow teeth.

"Hey little dude! You behaving yourself?" I asked him, grabbing him from Zia.

"That's questionable." Zia sighed, closing her eyes. "Unless you consider 4: 58 in the morning a good time to wake up."

"Connor, did you wake mommy up?" I fake scolded him. As if in response, he laughed as if to say 'I'm good, right?'. Zia rolled over onto her side to face me, and placed her head on my shoulder, I turned my head to kiss her forehead, she yawned.

"Why don't you go back to bed sweetie, and Connor and I will hang out together."

She sighed. "I'm fine."

"Seriously, go. Connor and I need some father-son quality bonding time."

"Are you sure?" She asked, yawning again.

"Positive as a proton." I replied.

She rolled her eyes, and stood up to go back to our bedroom. "You are so cheesy sometimes."

I laughed. "Go to bed!" I shot back. Then I turned to Connor, who was again, trying to eat his toes. "What are you doing, Connor?" I stood up with him. "Do you want some breakfast?"

"blllllgghghfhhg." He yelled.

"Whoa." I laughed. "That is quite a set of pipes you got there, Con."

I walked us into the kitchen and set Connor up in his high chair with his favorite toys. Then I made some breakfast for us. A bacon, cheese, and spinach omelet with a side of fruit for me, and applesauce for Con. I multitasked with feeding Con his applesauce and feeding myself the omelet, when the doorbell rang. I left Con with the spoon and went to go see who it was. I opened the door, and there stood my least favorite person possibly in the entire world. Our next door neighbor Suzie.

"Carter!" She screamed in her obnoxiously high pitched voice. "How are you today?" She leaned in to kiss me on the cheek, I held her back, saying,

"Oh, I am pretty sick, it's uh, highly contagious." I lied.

It wasn't that Suzie wasn't nice, she was plenty nice. That was the problem. She was way too nice. When I first was looking at the house, she baked a cake for me and then… she tried to kiss me. And I don't mean like a polite formal kiss on the cheek, she tried to go into full on make out mode. She kept talking about how her husband was such a drag, and that I would be much more "fun"… I will spare you what she really said to me. Basically, she was a … never mind, you get the picture. The worst part is, she pretends to be best friends with Zia, as if she doesn't hit on her husband every time she sees him. She even slapped my butt in the hall once. MY hall, in MY house. Who does that? Her, that's who. She's a freak.

So, I guess you know now why I was not excited to see her.

"Oh, that's okay, I don't mind." She purred in a tone I would rather not describe. She leaned in for another kiss, and I backed up further. Suddenly I lost my footing and fell backwards onto the couch.

"Oh, you wanna play hard to get, eh?" She growled and jumped on top of me.

"Suzie! What are you doing, I am married! And so are you!"

"Then let's run off together!" She screamed. I reached for the phone to call 911 on her, but in the process, knocked over the lamp.

"Suzie get…"

"Well, well, well. Don't we look mighty cozy?" Zia stood in the doorway to the living room with Connor in her arms, looking as she might set something on fire.

"Zia!" I yelped, and pushed Suzie off of me and onto the floor. "It's not what it looks like." She stared at me, then at Suzie, and placed Connor on his mat.

"I was just… giving him a massage." Suzie offered.

I was almost fuming, "No you weren't, you attacked me, you, you.."

Zia interrupted me with calling Suzie some choice names, too inappropriate to record. Then she picked Suzie up by her shirt collar and began pushing her out the door. "And don't ever set foot in my house again, or come within 50 feet of my husband, or my baby, if you want to see the precious sunlight ever again. Got it?" Suzie just whimpered. With a final push, Zia slammed the door and turned to face me, her eyes still ablaze with anger.

"I swear, It was not me, that chick is psycho." I explained.

"I know." She said, calming down a bit. Then, she began inching towards me, a devious smile creeping onto her face.

"Then why are you looking at me like that?"

"Because," She said, cupping my chin in her hand and looking into my eyes with a hungry expression. "I want you to know that you are mine." She growled, and pulled me into a kiss. I kissed her back passionately and fell back onto the couch. Zia crawled onto my lap, not daring to break the kiss. My hands began traveling down her back, and I felt her hands entangle themselves in my hair. Before things went to far, Connor began gurgling and yelling. Zia broke the kiss and went to grab him,

"And you are mine too little man." She told Connor. "You got that?" Connor clapped and gurgled in reply. Zia sat next to me on the couch again and said, "You both are my men."

I kissed her cheek and said, "And you are our Zia." She smiled at me, pecked me on the lips, and then we both looked down at Connor, who, once again, was swallowing his toes.

Did I mention I have the picture perfect life?

Sooooooooooooooooooooooo? What did you all think? Love it? Hate it? I don't care! Just review it! Peace love, and candy corn! –magicalunicorn000