In the last chapter, it was revealed that Blythe Baxter and Eric Cartman have the same mother – Liane Cartman. Boy is Cartman in for the shock of his life. But first, the kids are in Atlanta. Something that belonged to Ben Matlock will help in liberating Atlanta from Team Rocket.
I do not own Pokemon, South Park, Littlest Pet Shop, or Matlock.
(Pallet Town, afternoon, August 23, 2014)
A brunette male on a motorcycle was riding into town. He was on important business. It was related to his long-gone friends, Ash Ketchum and Misty Waterflower. He was supposed to do this a year before, but he couldn't because he was on a PLDS (Poketta Latter-Day Saints, similar to the real-life LDS Church but with Arceus) mission. He just finished the mission 2 weeks before, and came back home to Frodomar City.
After 2 weeks of getting back to a normal life, the man was called by a lawyer representing Ash and Misty, asking him to come over to his office in Pallet Town. The two were to meet today regarding the distribution of Ash and Misty's assets.
The man arrived at the law firm of Simon, Schuster, Putnam, Harper, Collins and Hachette. He had changed since we last saw him. He now has a goatee, rides a motorcycle, and wears a leather jacket everywhere he goes. He walked into the building, and went up the receptionist's desk.
The receptionist said, "good afternoon Mr. Cunningham, you're here to see Mr. Simon I presume?" Mr. Cunningham said, "yes I am. It is in regards to my late friends Ash Ketchum and Misty Waterflower." The receptionist said, "second door on the left", pointing out where Mr. Simon's office was.
Mr. Cunningham walked down to Mr. Simon's office. Mr. Simon said, "good afternoon Mr. Cunningham, I have been expecting to see you for a year. I understand you couldn't come last year because you were on a church mission."
Mr. Cunningham said, "yes, I was on a PLDS mission, and please, call me Ritchie. But I am not to be confused with the Happy Days character Richie Cunningham. I'm more like Fonzie than I am Richie."
Mr. Simon introduced himself, "I am Garfunkel Simon, I am a respected lawyer. My family usually is respected and powerful, but last year my niece in South Park, Colorado, Jenny, how can I put this, well, she made in her pants during class and it kind of...soiled our family's reputation for a few weeks, pun not intended."
Ritchie said, "I see what you mean. So Mr. Simon, what exactly do you want to talk about regarding my late friends?" Mr. Simon said, "well, you were called here for the reading of the wills of Ash Ketchum and Misty Waterflower. You are the only person here for a reason."
Ritchie said, "I think I know why." Mr. Simon began to read out Ash's will. "I, Ash Ketchum, resident of Pallet Town, Kanto, Poketta, declare that this is my will. I leave all my possessions, and all my Pokemon, to my best male human friend Ritchie Cunningham. Mr. Cunningham is only to receive all this if I was to pass on before I turned 30." Mr. Simon said that Ash did indeed pass on before he turned 30, then continued to read the will.
All that was left to say in Ash's will was to have Ritchie and Mr. Simon's signatures in the appropriate places, but also that Ritchie would take over ownership of Ash's Pokemon after Team Rocket is disbanded. Misty's will was pretty much the same thing. However, Ritchie had no use for some of Misty's possessions, since they were items that were of no use or interest to any male.
Ritchie planned on giving some of those items to his first daughter, and some of them to whoever he marries. Ritchie said, "thank you for handing me all this stuff. I shall take care of this stuff, and all the Pokemon too." Mr. Simon said, "no, thank your friends. They were kind enough to give you all this. Thank you Mr. Cunningham for your time."
Ritchie left the law office building, having gained some new possessions. A moving company was scheduled to come to Ash's house in 4 days, gathering all of Ash's possessions at his old house, and 2 days later, they would go to Cerulean City Gym to retrieve Misty's possessions. They would be transported to Ritchie's house in Frodomar City.
Ritchie was very thankful to have Ash and Misty as friends. He planned to honor them by naming his first-born son and daughter after them, which was a common practice in the last year. Ash and Misty may be gone, but they will never be forgotten.
(Denver, airport, August 26, 2014)
The Baxters, the US Government agents, and the Swablu arrived at the airport. One of the agents said, "we need to get to South Park, right now! We got to rent a car and head to South Park!" They all went to a car rental center, and rented a car for free because this was a matter of national security. The Baxters and agents arrived in South Park 45 minutes later.
One of the songs that was playing on the car radio on the way was Lunatic Fringe by Red Rider. The song perfectly described the situation Pika Broflovski and the other talking Pokemon were in. The lyrics described a man looking for someone, which Team Rocket was doing in regards to the talking Pokemon.
In South Park, the agents drove to the mayor's office. One of them went inside and entered the mayor's workroom. "Mayor McDaniels, can you tell me the address of the Broflovski residence? One or more people there are in serious danger! We have to make sure they are safe."
Mayor McDaniels said, "oh alright, follow my car and I will lead you to the Broflovski residence." McDaniels and the agent went to their respective cars, and once McDaniels went on the road, the agents followed her to the Broflovski residence.
Everyone in the agents' car exited, and thanked Mayor McDaniels for her help. They went up to the front door, including the Swablu. Sheila answered the door, and said, "who are you guys?" One of the agents said, "we are agents for the United States Government. Some Pokemon that are in your house now are in grave danger."
Sheila said, "you mean my adopted son Pika and his talking Pokemon friends? They are in the kitchen having a snack." The agent said, "it is true, you did adopt a talking Pikachu and raise it as your own son, even treating him as if he were not a Pokemon at all, but rather human."
Sheila said, "my family has seen all kinds of talking creatures that are strange. Like in one instance, my son has a literal turd for a friend that comes out only at the holidays." The agent said, "you must be smoking some bad granola, ma'am. A talking piece of crap? Like anyone will believe that story!" Gerald came out and said, "Mr. Hankey is very real. He gives Christmas presents to kids who have a high-fiber diet."
The other agent said, "wow, this town is surely hopped up on goofballs!" The agents and the Baxters walked into the kitchen, and sure enough, Pika, Lydia, Adam and Emily were eating snacks. Pika noticed the Swablu was with the US Government agents. "US Government agents in my house? And two complete strangers too!" Pika said.
The agent said, "Pika Broflovski, I presume." Pika said, "yes, and these are my talking Pokemon friends. Lydia Dickinson, the Buneary, Adam Roberts, the Marrill, and Emily Jones, the Sandslash. They too have been adopted by American families, but we all spend most of our time traveling the world helping people in need. This is because we are running from Team Rocket. We never stay in any place for too long. Team Rocket wants us dead, because we know too much about what they have done over the years."
The Baxters introduced themselves to the four talking Pokemon. "My name is Rodger Baxter, and this is my daughter Blythe. She will be in high school soon." Pika said, "I have heard all about Blythe. She can understand what animals and Pokemon can say. But what are you two doing here in South Park?"
The other agent said, "we are here to protect you and your friends, and to find out info about Pokemon migrating to the United States." Lydia said, "well, Pokemon are indeed coming to the US. They have stowed away on ships coming from Poketta to the United States. Some have also swam here, and others have flown."
Sheila walked into the room and noticed that the Baxters were here. "Rodger? Is that really you?" she asked. "Who is this?" Rodger asked. "I'm Sheila Broflovski, I'm a friend of your ex-wife Liane Cartman. I have seen pictures of you, but I'd never thought I would see you in person." Sheila was excited to meet Liane's ex-husband.
Rodger said, "well I didn't come here by choice, Sheila. I was, um, forced to come here by my teenage daughter Blythe, and by the US Government." Sheila said, "Eric will be so delighted to learn that he has an older half-sister!" Blythe asked Sheila about this Eric. "Eric? Eric who?" Sheila said, "Eric Cartman. A few years after your mother divorced your father and moved here, she was impregnated by a Denver Broncos football player, and the baby would end up becoming Eric."
Blythe said, "I have a younger half-brother that I did not know about for 9 years? OMG! This is crazy!" Agent #1 said, "well, we and the talking Pokemon have to get going. Their safety is our #1 priority. My partner was just told that Pika and his friends plan on helping raid Team Rocket headquarters. But they need our help. And the help of the South Park 4th-graders too."
Agent #2 said to Sheila, "well we have a pretty large minivan outside. You, your husband and your other adopted son are free to come with us if you want. There is plenty of room." Sheila said, "oh boy an adventure! Gerald, go get Ike and follow me and the agents outside!"
Gerald said, "OK dear down in a second!" Gerald went in and grabbed Ike and a booster seat and followed Sheila, the agents, the Baxters, and the Swablu outside.
The agents drove everyone to a secret place...which will be revealed in the next chapter.
(Atlanta, morning, August 28, 2014)
The kids of South Park arrived in Atlanta, awaiting their next directions. The kids were greeted by an old African-American woman wearing a poncho. "Hello children of South Park, Colorado, we have been waiting for your arrival for a long time. Ben Matlock's house is located at this address: 1776 Sherman Avenue in the Bush Mountain neighborhood of Atlanta. Get going now, time is wasting!"
The kids left the airport and headed up Main Street. Meanwhile, the elderly woman said, "Madea is too scared to take on Team Rocket", revealing herself to be Madea, who is normally not hesitant to take out any threat.
Butters used the Stone Hammer on a group of three Team Rocket members greeting him at the Yale intersection. This time, he was using his Professor Chaos persona. Normally Professor Chaos is evil, but fights alongside the other South Park kids in order to save the world from Scott Tenorman and Team Rocket.
Tweek used the Gnome Pickaxe on a few Team Rocket members as well – his weapon choice is ironic, given that the Gnomes have been stealing something very intimate from him over the years. He apparently had a lot of coffee on the flight to Atlanta. He was killing Rockets like it was going out of style.
Throughout the United States and Canada, there were reports of non-redheads dying their hair red in order to be spared by Team Rocket, with varying degrees of success. Team Rocket would not stop until there was only redheads left on Earth, no matter how long it took.
At the Atlanta mayor's office, once again, the mayor was being held hostage by Team Rocket. Television crews were about to film an announcement to be broadcast live on all major network affiliates in Atlanta. This was typical of all major cities taken over by Team Rocket.
When the Team Rocket member was ready to go on the air, he sat at the mayor's desk and began to speak. "Atlanta, you are a fine city. Fine enough that Team Rocket now controls it. We have big plans for the city. The biggest of them is that all non-redheads are to be executed. This is on orders from our new boss, Scott Tenorman. Thank you for your time."
As with other major cities, the redheads in the Atlanta area were being held at the city's major sports venues. Turner Field, the Georgia Dome, and Philips Arena. All were swarming with redheads and guarded by Team Rocket.
What the redheads didn't understand was why they were being held in the sports venues in Atlanta, or why Team Rocket wanted all non-redheads dead. To the residents, they felt that killing people because of their hair color was absolutely insane. They had many friends among the non-redheads.
At Main Street and Norman Berry Drive, there were several Team Rocket tanks. Ash/Stan sent out Charizard and had him use Flamethrower on the tanks. They subsequently exploded, killing all Team Rocket members inside them.
Jenny Simon killed a few Rockets with the Sword of Endings, a name which was very fitting for the weapon, since it ended the lives of those Rockets. Believe it or not, she has moved past her reputation of being "Soft-Serve Simon", a nickname bestowed onto her after her accident a year before.
There were more tanks guarding the intersection with Langford Parkway. Misty/Wendy sent out Politoed, and had it use Hydro Pump on the tanks, which Pikachu/Kyle followed up with Thunder. Ash/Stan and Misty/Wendy high-fived each other after successfully taking out the tanks.
Tommy Turner used the Axe of the Underworld on a few Rockets who were smoking some joints. Where those Rockets got the marijuana, we have no idea. Tommy said, "drugs are bad" as he killed the Rockets.
Kevin Stoley threw a Dodgeball at several Rockets. This was no ordinary dodgeball. It has the power to crush organs on impacting the victim, killing them. This dodgeball was probably a product of the US military. How it got into South Park, no one knows.
Gregory, who we haven't seen since the South Park movie, used the Canadian Halberd on several Rockets. He has experience in fighting from being part of La Resistance. His motto was, "though we die, La Resistance lives on". But Team Rocket was a bigger problem than a mere war between two countries.
Kenny went into an alley, and changed into his Mysterion persona. He said, "Mysterion wants to kill some Team Rocket members too." So, Mysterion cracked the necks of several Team Rocket members. He also killed some by sticking poison darts into their chests.
Mysterion had not played a major role in saving humanity since the Coon VS. Coon and Friends saga. It is also known that whenever he (or any other persona of Kenny) dies, he wakes up in a bed nearby, but no one remembers him dying. This irritated Kenny/Mysterion greatly.
Stan changed into his Toolshed persona and used a power drill to kill several Rockets by drilling deep into their foreheads. He also used a Noob Hammer to bash several Rockets' skulls in.
Finally, the kids arrived in the Bush Mountain neighborhood. There were even more Team Rocket members in this neighborhood because they were trying to prevent the kids from reaching Ben Matlock's house. So, the kids continued to kill Rockets as they made their way to the house.
Annie Nelson used the Holy Mossad Knife to slice open the stomachs of several Team Rocket members. She was not grossed out by the scores of body parts inside, having learned to tolerate these kinds of sights as she helped liberate the various cities from Team Rocket.
Cartman used the Longsword as a dart, going through several Rockets and making something of a kebob out of them. Josh Meyers commented on how the Rockets looked like a kebob, and began eating their flesh, just as Hannibal Lector did in his books and movies. The other kids were grossed out by Josh's cannibalism, but Josh said, "I'm inspired by Hannibal Lector, and so I must act like him. To do otherwise, well, is just going against character. I apologize if you do not like that I am eating dead people, but it is part of who I am."
Bebe used the Serrated Axe of Rending to chop off several Rockets' heads. She seemed to like decapitating people, apparently having seen a lot of horror movies in which people are often seen getting decapitated. This would frighten most people, but not Bebe. She actually cheered at the sight of people getting their heads cut off. But she kept this a secret from the other kids in her school, fearing that others would see her as weird for this. She hasn't even told her best friend Wendy. Then again, Wendy has been killing too in this journey, with help from Misty.
Heidi Turner, not related to Tommy Turner, used not any of the weapons used in the Stick of Truth journey, but rather a machine gun to kill a lot of Team Rocket members with great speed. Why she used a gun instead, we do not know. Maybe she comes from a gun rights advocate family. Gun control laws are a very touchy subject in the United States of America at the very least. Whatever the case was, she liked to use guns, even though she was only in the 4th grade.
Finally, the kids arrived at the address of Ben Matlock's house. They saw that it was boarded up, but this was merely a precautionary measure taken by the house's current tenant, Ben's daughter Charlene. She was now in her 50s, and moved into the house after her father died 2 years ago. Ben Matlock was a very respected lawyer, helping clear many people accused of murder of those charges, and getting those who actually did murder into prison, many of them for life.
Bebe borrowed the Axe of the Underworld so she could use it to get inside the house. Charlene was surprised to see that someone had broken into her house, but she was glad that it was not Team Rocket. Cartman said, "Ms. Matlock, we need to watch one of your home movies that you have converted into DVD format, it will help us liberate Atlanta from Team Rocket."
Charlene said, "oh, I have been told stories of your arrival here. You see, many in Atlanta have been praying for you to come for the past few days. Team Rocket's gone out of control here. But I need to know, which is the home movie that you need to watch in order to liberate the city from Team Rocket?"
Ash began to speak through Stan. "The home movie of your 9th birthday party in 1968." Misty then spoke through Wendy, "it has a secret message at the end. It will tell us the final key we need to save the city of Atlanta." Charlene said, "oh I think I have it on this shelf right here." Charlene got out the DVD conversion of the home movie, and played it on her DVD player.
It was a 10-minute long home movie, and was joined on the disc with several others that could be accessed from a menu. Indeed, after the home movie was done playing there was a secret message, with Madea speaking in it. It was filmed in 2004 it seemed. Madea began to speak. "I am Madea Simmons. This video was meant to be watched by the South Park 4th-graders on August 28, 2014. The key to liberating Atlanta from Team Rocket is located at the World of Coca-Cola. It is inside the store there."
Stan said, "we have no time to waste, let's go!" Charlene led the kids to a bus she bought 2 weeks before Team Rocket took over the city. From there, she took the kids to the World of Coca-Cola. The kids went inside the store, and looked around for the key to purging Team Rocket from Atlanta. Finally, they came across a display that showed an empty Coca-Cola bottle.
Stan began to read the inscription that was on the display. "This was the very first Coca-Cola bottle to be manufactured. Once the drink was finished, the bottle was returned to Coca-Cola headquarters upon request. Only the Chosen One can carry this bottle. He must go to the Coca-Cola Freestyle Machine, fill it up with Coca-Cola, then go to the top of CNN Center and drink the Coca-Cola, all in one gulp. Then he must belch, and Team Rocket will be done for in Atlanta."
Ash began to speak through Stan, "I will take this", and grabbed the bottle, going to the Freestyle Machine, and filling it with Coke. He and the other kids then went back to the bus. Misty began to speak through Wendy, "we must go to CNN Center. Ash needs to drink the Coke then burp at the top." Charlene said, "OK, I will take you to CNN Center."
Charlene drove the kids to CNN Center, which was not all that far away from the World of Coca-Cola. Ash said through Stan, "I must make this journey alone, wish me luck in getting to the top of CNN Center." Ash/Stan got off the bus, and went inside CNN Center. He went up several flights of stairs, then moved up some more floors using the elevator.
Finally reaching the top, Ash/Stan drank the Coke, all in one gulp as was told in the inscription. He/they let out a huge belch afterward. This belch activated several special radio waves that came from the various TV station transmitter towers in Atlanta. Only Team Rocket members could hear these waves, and when they did, their brains swelled up until their heads all exploded, killing every last Team Rocket member in the Atlanta metropolitan area.
Once all the Team Rocket members were dead, people throughout the Atlanta area emerged from whatever homes or buildings they were hiding in and saw all the bodies of the dead Team Rocket members. The people of Atlanta were jubilant, and celebrated all over the city. This was a day that the city of Atlanta would not ever soon forget.
Ash said through Stan, "we did it, the city of Atlanta has been liberated from Team Rocket. All is right in the cultural and commercial capital of the Southern United States." There was another inscription on the floor of the roof of the CNN Center. Ash/Stan began to read this inscription.
"The city of Atlanta has been liberated from Team Rocket. You must now go to the city of Cleveland, Ohio, as that is the latest city to be taken over by Team Rocket. The recording of Alan Freed's radio broadcast in which he coined the term rock and roll for a emerging style of music has a secret message at the end."
Ash/Stan emerged from the CNN Center, and went back on the bus to a hotel near CNN Center. The next day, the city of Atlanta honored the kids of South Park and their spirit friends in a special ceremony. The mayor was very thankful for what the kids did, and hoped that Team Rocket and Scott Tenorman would be stopped once and for all.
Ash began to speak through Stan, "well, we have to get on a plane to Cleveland now. A certain radio broadcast from the 1950s is going to help is in getting Team Rocket out of Cleveland. Thank you for supporting us in our liberation of Atlanta."
The kids headed to the airport, from there they would catch a flight to Cleveland. Alan Freed created the term rock and roll in a musical sense in the 1950s, ushering in a new era of popular music. This broadcast was now the first key in getting Team Rocket out of Cleveland.
There was no time to waste. Team Rocket had to be removed from Cleveland at all costs. Who knows what other cities they have taken over? All we know is that five cities have been liberated from Team Rocket, but the adventure was far from over. Soon, the kids of South Park would be going all over the world to stop Scott Tenorman and Team Rocket.
For there was no room for intolerance of any kind on this planet, especially based on hair color.
TO BE CONTINUED
Well, the kids of South Park are on their way to Cleveland, which is the metro area in which I live. And of course, the talking Pokemon in the story are based on me and three of my real life friends from school that I sometimes hang out with.