Well, the kids of South Park are now in Cleveland, where they will interact with characters from both Hot in Cleveland and The Drew Carey Show. Alan Freed, unbeknownst to him, will help the kids liberate Cleveland from Team Rocket.
I have updated the previous chapters slightly to explicitly state which dates each scene took place on.
I do not own Pokemon, South Park, Littlest Pet Shop, Hot in Cleveland, Major League, or The Drew Carey Show.
(Lumiose City, morning, August 23, 2014)
A blond, teenaged scientist was working on something big. This was months in the making, and he was almost done working on it. It was something that many scientists dreamed of inventing. Many scientists watched movies, TV shows, and read books about this invention. But not until now that someone had finally made it.
It all started in November 2013, when the scientist purchased a Hummer painted silver. Then he purchased the parts needed to build a flux capacitor. Then he purchased plutonium, parts needed to make time circuits, flying circuits, a fuel chamber, a fusion generator, rear louvers, a Roentgen meter, a Tachyon field generator, a vacuum tube and Whitewall Tire.
He worked months on end on converting the Hummer to his desired purpose. He was inspired in particular by Doctor Emmett Brown. He once used a DeLorean for the same purpose as this scientist's Hummer.
Finally, after 10 months of long and hard work, he was finished. He wanted to show his girlfriend what he had invented. To that end, he called her using his cellphone. "Hey, Serena! I'm finally finished with it! Come to my Gym and see it! Bonnie will be here to see it too!"
Serena said, "OK, I will head over now. See you in 10 minutes." Serena drove her car over from Vaniville Town to Lumiose City. She arrived at the Gym, and was greeted by Bonnie. Bonnie said "once upon a time I was falling in love, but now I'm only falling apart, there's nothing I can do, a total eclipse of the heart."
Serena said, "just take me to the garage please, I want to see what he invented." Bonnie and Serena walked over to the garage. Serena said, "OK, just what is it you want to show me, Clemont?"
Clemont said, "here it is, my grand masterpiece, no one thought it was possible, but I finally invented it! Behold!" He took the cover off the Hummer. Serena said, "a Hummer, how wonderful" in a sarcastic manner. Clemont said, "it is not just a Hummer, it's a time machine! Many scientists have been dreaming of building one for years, but I am the first to successfully do it! You see, I got the idea of turning a motor vehicle into a time machine from watching Back to the Future. But since no one has a DeLorean anymore, I used a Hummer."
Serena said, "a time machine? I don't believe it. Try it out and then maybe I will believe you." Serena hopped in the shotgun seat of the Hummer, Clemont set the time and date as August 28, 1963 in Washington DC. Clemont turned on the car, and literally put his pedal to the metal. He designed the time machine so it would work without having to actually drive on the road (although that could be done as well, with the simple push of a button). Clemont and Serena watched as the speed-o-meter went up. As soon as it hit 88 miles per hour, the car was sent through time.
Clemont said, "oh, there is one key thing that sets this time machine apart from those in fiction. The time machine and its users are on another plane of existence, so while we can see the people in the time period we travel to, they can't see us. That way it is impossible to alter history."
Serena said, "Ash and Misty would have loved this, I can't believe it's been a year already." Clemont and Serena walked around Washington, and found themselves at the Lincoln Memorial. There Martin Luther King Jr. was giving his famous I Have a Dream speech.
Clemont said, "pretty neat huh Serena. This is surely my greatest invention ever. Nothing else I make will ever top it. Now how about we head home Serena? We'll have breakfast at IHOP like we always do on Saturdays."
Serena said, "that is fine with me, I'm hungry!" Clemont and Serena went back to the time machine, and headed back to their present time. As they said they would, they and Bonnie went to IHOP. It had become a ritual to go to IHOP for breakfast every Saturday. They started doing that not long after the deaths of Ash and Misty.
(South Park, Colorado, August 26, 2014)
The van that the agents drove arrived at IHOP, which was last seen in South Park during the episode Reverse Cowgirl, in which the TSA had to oversee everyone going to the bathroom, and in that scene both Cartman and Butters really needed to go...so they cut in front of everyone else.
Gerald said, "IHOP? This is the secret place you told us about? I've been here many times." Agent #1 said, "ah, but you've never been inside the secret room." Agent #2 said, "follow us and we will show you the secret room." The Broflovskis, the talking Pokemon, the Baxters, and the Swablu all followed the agents into the "Employees Only" room at the IHOP.
Agent #1 said, "follow us inside the door labeled Top Secret." Sure enough, they did, and inside was a staircase. This wasn't the staircase that led to the restaurant's basement...but rather, to something below it that only the US Government knew about. This was a war room of sorts, where the US Government planned attacks on enemies.
Agent #2 said, "we have been working on a plan to infiltrate Team Rocket headquarters in case the South Park 4th-graders failed in their mission. The thing is, no one knows where Team Rocket headquarters is." Pika chimed in, "I do."
Agent #1 said, "Pika, you know where Team Rocket Headquarters is?" Pika said, "yes. Remember I was the result of Team Rocket experiments. After facilities in Celadon City, Mahogany Town, and Cinnibar Island were ambushed, Team Rocket built a new facility to the south of Vermilion City. They carefully disguised it as a chocolate chip factory.
Team Rocket captured all kinds of Pokemon. Some they stole from other trainers. Those were to be traded on the black market. Others were wild Pokemon. These Pokemon had increasingly dangerous experiments performed on them. I was one of those Pokemon.
For many years, their leader was Giovanni. Some time ago, it was revealed that he was a vampire. He was killed in a fight with Ash Ketchum.
Now, Scott Tenorman is the leader of Team Rocket. He has completely changed the organization's direction. He is using Team Rocket to eliminate anyone who does not have red hair. In other words, he wants Earth to be "gingers only". To this end, he ordered the execution of all Team Rocket members who were not redheaded. They didn't kill them all. A great amount of them were able to escape to Eastern Europe.
To replace the former members, Tenorman recruited all redheads who previously worked for other criminal organizations in Poketta. The end result was very similar to the Nazi Party in Germany during the 1930s and 1940s. Whereas the Nazis were limited in trying to conquer parts of Europe, technology has advanced so that Team Rocket can more easily take over the whole world.
So, here we are now, trying to take out Team Rocket at its core. There is an item that can be used to kill all Team Rocket members in the world, but it must be used in Scott Tenorman's office. And the kids of South Park cannot get there alone. Me and my friends have to help them."
Blythe said, "well, this is really crazy. I hope something gets done soon." Over the next 45 minutes, everyone discussed what they would do. They agreed that they would all hide out in Vermillion City until the kids of South Park were there. From there, the talking Pokemon would assist the kids in taking down Scott Tenorman.
After that, everyone went back up to IHOP and decided to eat there. As the party went to their tables, they ran into Liane Cartman. She said, "uh, Rodger, is that you?" Rodger said, "Liane...didn't expect to see you here." Blythe said, "mom...I can't believe it, after all these years I finally see you again."
Liane said, "I don't get it Rodger, why are you and Blythe here in South Park?" Rodger said, "we are here on US Government business. It is related to stopping Team Rocket from taking over the world." Liane said, "well my son Eric and his friends are helping out in that regard too. This is a really big deal here."
Rodger said, "well we better get to our tables now, we're really hungry." The agents and their party sat at several tables and had some breakfast.
(Cleveland, morning, August 29, 2014)
The kids arrived at the Cleveland airport, ready for another adventure. Greeting them was an elderly woman wearing a hoodie and sunglasses. She was very eager to meet the kids, knowing they were Cleveland's last hope at survival. "Well, hello there, and welcome to Cleveland", she said, "Team Rocket has made life Hell for people who do not have red hair. We need you to stop them. The WJW Radio archives are located in the top floor of the Winfred-Louder building. That is where you will find the tape containing Alan Freed's first use of the term rock and roll. Good luck."
The kids left the airport, and headed down Brookpark Road. Meanwhile, the elderly woman approached her three friends. "It's happening all over again", she said. "What do you mean, Elka?" her English-American friend asked. Elka said, "Joy, remember that I told you that I escaped from the Nazis? Well, a new organization has sprung up that is similar to the Nazis. The key difference is that they kill people who do not have red hair. People that do have red hair are called gingers."
Joy said, "wow, this is really intense. Why would a group of people want to kill others who do not share the same hair color as them?" Another woman chimed in, "this organization is apparently led by a teenager from Colorado named Scott Tenorman. He tried this once before, but a bunch of celebrities got in the way." Elka said, "Victoria, what do you mean by that?"
Victoria said, "the gingers and the celebrities fought for the right to use Muhammad's goo. Apparently this goo prevents those who have it from being ridiculed. A black box that says CENSORED is placed over whoever has the goo. It was demonstrated on one of the celebrities who was called a fudge packer earlier in the episode."
Another woman was skeptical, "a goo that prevents you from being ridiculed? Likely story. Next you're gonna say that we are living in a false reality and that there are people who claim to see the world for what it actually is – crap."
Victoria said, "Melanie, this is real. If we can get that goo, we can be immune to ridicule too. We just need to find where Muhammad is, and then build a goo-transfer machine, and before you know it we can be CENSORED ourselves. We were ridiculed very much in our last years in LA. Now is our chance to get the respect we deserve." Melanie said, "well, I'll take your word for it. I guess we should go find the Super Best Friends."
The kids of South Park marched down Brookpark Road, killing any Team Rocket members they came across. No Rocket was spared. The kids engaged in various ways to kill Rockets. They had all kinds of weapons in tow that they acquired in the quest for the Stick of Truth.
But Stan, Wendy, and Kyle had special weapons. They were sharing their respective bodies with the spirits of Ash, Misty and Pikachu. Stan and Wendy, under the control of Ash and Misty, use the Pokemon that belonged to them in life. In the case of Ash's Pikachu, he has help from Kyle in order to use his attacks.
Scott Malkinson has a lisp and is diabetic, but that hasn't stopped him from joining the adventure. He sliced the heads off of several Rockets with the Warrior's Scimitar. He proceeded to kick one of the heads around like a soccer ball. Scott apparently was a big fan of soccer back at home.
Kenny, who thinks he is a princess, used his Fairy Princess Bow on several Rockets from a distance. He took the whole princess thing very seriously, anyone who said he was not a princess would either be killed or seriously lectured. He liked being a princess. He even has been considering a sex change operation to become a full-fledged girl, much like Mr. Garrison once did.
Meanwhile, in the Cleveland mayor's office, much like other cities before it, the mayor was being held hostage by Team Rocket members. News crews from all the major television stations in Cleveland were about to film an announcement about the new rule over the city. This was a grim day for Cleveland indeed. But the kids of South Park would save them.
The Team Rocket member placed in charge of Cleveland sat at the mayor's desk. He got out a sheet of paper that had the words he was to say in front of all the TV cameras. The cameramen said, "3, 2, 1" and the mayor's office appeared on all TV screens in the Cleveland area that were tuned in to any one of the major television stations in the city. The Rocket began to make his announcement, confident that everyone would listen.
"Cleveland. A city by many names. The Rock and Roll City. The Forest City. C-Town. And now, Rocket Town. You heard right, Team Rocket runs this city now. And if you are not a redhead, also known as a ginger, then you will not live to see our fine organization, led by the great Scott Tenorman, take over the world. If you are one, you are currently being held at one of Cleveland's major sports venues.
While we have lost control of some cities in America and Canada in the past few days, we remain confident that our rule will not end anytime soon. We are just too powerful to be defeated. So you might as well accept Scott Tenorman as your new emperor. This is Rocket Grunt 484, signing off. Hail Scott Tenorman!"
The kids of South Park, Colorado were not about to let that happen. Together, they have accomplished many things before – like putting a stop to the American-Canadian War and keeping the Stick of Truth from falling into the wrong hands. This was the biggest adventure they had partaken in during their entire lives.
Normally, Cartman liked Nazis. But this organization was a Nazi Party of a different breed. Since he hates gingers very much, he is taking part in the fight to keep Team Rocket from taking over the world. Ironically, he himself has the ginger gene because his father was Scott Tenorman's own father, Jack Tenorman, making Cartman and Scott half-brothers. The fact that Cartman killed his father and fed him to his half-brother did not upset him nearly as much as the fact that he was half-ginger.
At Brookpark and West 150th Street, there was a fleet of Team Rocket tanks. Misty/Wendy sent out Gyrardos to soak the tanks with Hydro Pump, then Ash/Stan had Pikachu/Kyle use Thunderbolt of the tanks to make them explode. This technique has been used most other times the kids ran into Team Rocket tanks.
Bebe used the Flamberge Rapier to "write out" capital B's on several Rockets, imitating a similar technique used by Zorro who slashed the letter Z onto people he killed with his sword. Cartman noticed this, "wow Bebe, you're taking a page from Zorro. That's really kewl". Bebe said, "I do whatever I can show these Rockets that I mean business."
The kids continued marching down Brookpark Road. They continued to kill Rockets as they made their way down the street. Cartman drove the Axe of the Underworld into several Rockets' chests upon reaching the Tideman Road intersection. They needed to get to the Winfred-Louder building on 1228 Euclid Avenue.
Finally, the kids reached Pearl Road. They headed northeast as it would take them closer to Downtown Cleveland. The kids continued killing Rockets as they progressed up Pearl Road. Butters killed several Rockets with the Broken Bottle. It comes in handy when you want something simple to kill people. Time was limited, and the kids needed to get to Winfred-Louder as soon as possible.
At the intersection with State Road, there were several rows of Rockets marching in the opposite direction of the kids. Cartman used his Magic Wand to kill them all. He took great amusement in killing gingers; despite having the gene, he doesn't consider himself a true ginger because he takes more after his mother. How Cartman will react to the news that he has an older half-sister remains to be seen. For all we know, Liane could have had more children before even having Blythe, giving how Liane likes to have relations with every man she sees.
As they moved up Pearl Road, the kids passed the eastern entrance to the Cleveland Metroparks Zoo. The kids liked to go to zoos, but taking out Team Rocket was more important at the moment. After the intersection with Interstate 71, Pearl Road turned into West 25th Street.
Of course, the current Winfred-Louder was founded in 2004 after Drew took over the online store that had taken its place. The old Winfred-Louder went bankrupt in 2002, but the new company later acquired the old one's assets and claims the old company's history as part of its own.
The kids passed the MetroHealth Medical Center as they moved up West 25th. It was the namesake for the interchange complex nearby, the MetroHealth Curve. Pip (who I forgot to mention was revived by Dr. Mephesto before this story) shot at several Rockets with the Alien Ray Gun. He relished being part of an adventure that would end up saving the world.
At the intersection of West 25th and Interstate 90, there was another fleet of Team Rocket tanks. This time around, Ash/Stan sent out Charizard to use Flamethrower on the tanks. After they all exploded, the kids continued their march up West 25th Street. Soon they found themselves in Ohio City.
The kids stopped at the Great Lakes Brewing Company's Brewpub to eat lunch and have some drinks – non-alcoholic of course. There was a kids' menu from which they could order. The Brewpub did not charge the kids any money, because they knew they were the last hope that Cleveland had at being saved from Team Rocket rule.
After eating lunch, the kids set back out towards the Winfred-Louder building. They continued up West 25th Street until they reached Detroit Avenue. From there, they turned east towards Downtown Cleveland. They would be in Downtown Cleveland once they crossed the bridge over the Cuyahoga River. But the bridge was swarming with Team Rocket Jeeps and helicopters. Cartman used his Magic Wand once again on this fleet, destroying the vehicles and killing the Rockets.
Once they reached Huron Road, the kids were now in Downtown Cleveland. Team Rocket's forces were larger in numbers the closer the kids got to the Winfred-Louder building. At Public Square, there were hordes of Rockets, just waiting to be killed. The kids all put on Gas Masks and threw Poison Grenades at the Rockets, watching as the Rockets all succumbed to the poison the Grenades gave off.
Euclid Avenue split off from Public Square to the southeast, the kids headed down Euclid Avenue towards the Winfred-Louder building, killing more Rockets as they headed down the street. Finally, they arrived at the Winfred-Louder building, which looked the same as it did when The Drew Carey Show went off the air 10 years before.
The doors to the inside were chain-locked, but this did not pose a problem as Ash/Stan sent out Charizard to melt them using Flamethrower. Once the chain lock was gone, the kids marched inside, and were greeted by several employees of the store. "Well, what do we have here? Some kids taking role-playing to the extreme?" Drew Carey asked.
Stan said, "no, we are here to liberate your city from Team Rocket", at which point Ash took over, "we have reason to believe the WJW radio archives are on the top floor of the building. The broadcast of the Alan Freed Show on which he coined the term rock and roll is part of the archives, and we need to play it on like a tape machine to hear the secret message at the end."
Oswald said, "well, I'm very skeptical on whether there is a secret message in that tape, but I'm willing to try anything at this point. Here kids, get in the elevators and we will take you to the top floor of the building." The kids went inside the elevators and got to the top floor. Drew and Oswald led the kids to the WJW broadcasts section of the station archives. All the broadcasts were converted to tape format, and there was a tape machine on which anyone could listen to one of the tapes. How this all ended up in Winfred-Louder's possession is unknown as of this moment.
They looked for the tape containing the first usage of "rock and roll" in a musical sense. After they found it, they placed it in the tape machine, and listened to Alan Freed's show in which he invented the term "rock and roll" for an emerging style of music. It was a really old show from over 60 years ago.
This piece of American history was very interesting to say the least. Indeed, after the end of the show, there was a secret message. It began with the version of "Wild Thing" by X playing, then a man's voice saying over the guitar solo, "hello, I am Rick 'Wild Thing' Vaughn, former pitcher for the Cleveland Indians. This message was meant to be played by the 4th-graders of South Park, Colorado on August 29, 2014.
By that date, Team Rocket will have taken over this fine city. The key to the elimination of Team Rocket from Cleveland is in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I can only say that it has something to do with the song Purple Haze. Hurry up kids of South Park, time is running out on Cleveland. You have to save us, or we will all die if we are not redheads."
Oswald said, "well, I can take you kids to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Follow me and Drew to my bus and we will get you there quickly." Everyone went back inside the elevators, and back down to the ground floor. From there, Oswald and Drew led the kids to the parking lot where a bus was parked.
Everyone boarded the bus and Oswald drove them to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. While on the bus, Stan and Kyle talked. "What do you think Rick Vaughn meant by the song Purple Haze?" Kyle asked. Stan said, "hm, let me think". Stan thought about it, and finally came to a conclusion. "Oh, now I got it! The key to liberating Cleveland from Team Rocket is in the Jimi Hendrix display."
As soon as the bus arrived at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, the kids disembarked from the bus and went inside the museum. Stan spoke to one of the employees, "excuse me, can you take us to the Jimi Hendrix Collection? The key to saving Cleveland from Team Rocket is in it."
The employee said, "oh you're the kids who have been seeing killing Team Rocket members. Follow me, I know where the exhibit is". The kids followed the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame employee to the Jimi Hendrix Collection. There were several guitars.
Finally, Stan found a guitar with a plaque below it. The plaque said, "this is the guitar Jimi Hendrix used in the recording of the song Purple Haze. This is the key to killing all Team Rocket members in Cleveland. Only the Chosen One can hold it. He must play the guitar part of the song Voodoo Child in its entirety, but he must do so on the pitcher's mound at Progressive Field. The other equipment to set up the guitar is located in the Indians' bullpen."
Stan said, "I do not know how to play Voodoo Child". Ash took over and said, "I do, I learned it after turning 15. I can do it." The employee opened the case and Ash/Stan took the guitar. The kids exited the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and got back on the bus. Misty said through Wendy, "we have to go to Progressive Field."
Oswald said, "no problem," and drove the kids to Progressive Field. Once they were there, Ash said through Stan, "I must make this journey alone, wish me luck" and got off the bus, guitar in hand. He went inside Progressive Field, and made his way to the Indians' bullpen. There were several technicians inside, guarding the equipment needed to play Voodoo Child on the mound.
One of the technicians said, "oh you must be the kid who is here to wow us with a Jimi Hendrix song. We will set up the stage for you." The technicians brought out the equipment and helped set up the stage for Ash/Stan to play Voodoo Child in its entirety. The last thing to finish the set up was for Ash/Stan to hook up the guitar to power it.
Once everything was ready, Ash/Stan began playing the guitar part of Voodoo Child in its entirety. The technicians watched them play, and they thought Ash/Stan was pretty good. After about 5 minutes, the final note was played and a beam shot out the guitar, heading towards the WEWS-TV transmitter in Parma.
The transmitter emitted radio waves that only Team Rocket members could hear. As in the other cities, their brains swelled up to the point where their heads exploded, killing them all. After seeing all the Team Rocket members get killed, people in Cleveland began to emerge from buildings they were hiding in. They saw the dead bodies of the Rockets, and began celebrating as their city had been liberated.
The back of the guitar contained an inscription. Ash/Stan read the inscription. "Cleveland has been liberated from Team Rocket. The next city you must go to is Philadelphia. The house in which Rocky Balboa lives in contains the first key to liberating the city from Team Rocket. It is the television broadcast of his final fight, which has a secret message at the end."
The next morning, the city of Cleveland held a ceremony to honor the kids and their heroic deed. The mayor of Cleveland said, "3 days ago, our great city was taken over by Team Rocket. Yesterday, these 4th-grade students from Colorado, along with three friends from the other side, killed all Team Rocket members in the city. Without them, anyone without red hair would surely be dead."
Misty began to speak through Wendy. "Well, it was nice coming to this fine city, but we have to go now. Philadelphia is in trouble, and only Rocky Balboa can help us liberate that city from Team Rocket. Thank you for your support, we must leave immediately."
The kids headed back to the Cleveland airport. From there, they would catch a flight to Philadelphia. Normally known as the City of Brotherly Love, there was not any love going around right now in Philadelphia. Team Rocket was killing anyone who was not a ginger. Scott Tenorman must be stopped at all costs.
(Marsh residence, South Park, early afternoon, August 29, 2014)
Randy Marsh was watching Terrance and Phillip on TV. Unlike most other adults living in South Park, he actually enjoys the show, which is evident in the episodes Death and Clubhouses. During a commercial break, his daughter, Shelly, came into the living room and began talking to Randy.
"Dad, it has sure been quiet around here since that turd of a brother has been gone." Randy then said, "well Shelly, Stan is on an important mission to save the world. Before you know it, Stan will be home, and you will get to pick on him again." Shelly then said, "you know, I should do something to pass time. You know how you wrote a Broadway musical a few years back? I think I will go write one myself."
Shelly went up to her room, and began work on her own musical. Six hours later, she was finished. She brought the final draft downstairs to show her father. "Here dad, this is the musical I wrote. It is called El Choque Cultural Sur La Glace: The Ultimate Fish out of Water Story. The title combines the Spanish and French phrases for culture shock and on ice. It is about a group of French-Canadian fans of the Montreal Canadiens NHL team going to Miami to see them play the Florida Panthers, and the ensuing culture shock."
Randy said, "I will check this out." He read the musical, and 3 hours later, he returned to Shelly to tell her what he thought of it. "Shelly, this contains a lot of stereotypes about Francophones and Hispanophones. This sounds like something Eric Cartman would write." Shelly said, "oh I know all about Cartman being racist. I decided to be just as bad as him." Randy said, "well Shelly, you did a good job. I will help you get the musical on Broadway."
TO BE CONTINUED
Well, this is my longest chapter yet. In the next chapter I will include movie characters for the first time.