A bird chirped noisily, repeatedly calling for it's mate. She pulled the duvet higher over her ears.
Beneath the duvet she was blind, she exhaled, her breath warm and wet in the air about her face.
She thought of dinner last night, of how much she'd enjoyed it, but the guilt that she'd felt whilst taking a fork to the cake meant she had left it half finished on a plate in the sitting room.
She reappeared from beneath the duvet, it became too stuffy and she gulped in the cold air of the bedroom with relief.
She barely knew what to think, couldn't seem to focus her mind on any one thought save the guilt that she felt for not being honest...
The alarm on her phone began it's bleating and she she picked it up, muted it, stared at the screen, her eyes ached from the light of it. She had a message from an unknown number. She hovered her thumb over the 'view', though she could guess who it was.
Max, she recognised the last three digits of the number. She resisted, left the message unopened and placed it back on the bedside table, tossed the duvet from her body and crawled out of bed, her head heavy from the wine, her body shivering from the cold.
She yawned loudly and made her way into the en suite. She yawned again and her eyes watered. She pulled on the light cord and watched herself become illuminated in the mirror in front of her. She exhaled, there was always that little niggle of disappointment upon seeing herself in the mirror first thing in the morning...she suspected the likes of Connie woke up looking much the same as she had the previous day.
Zoe peered at herself, her eyes were rimmed with heavy dark half-moons, and yesterdays mascara smeared from one eye into her hairline, her eyelashes stuck together and her hair was matted on one side, sticking both up and out, and as she reached for the back she felt the knots and tangles there too. Another restless night.
She filled the sink with warm water and splashed her face to wet it, before scrubbing away at yesterdays left over make up. As she raised her face from the sink she heard her phone vibrate against the wood of the bedside table. She pressed her face into a towel to dry it and glanced out into the bedroom, the illuminated phone screen glowing in the dark.
She exhaled, she could see her own breath billow white from her lips.
She gave in, she made her way back into the bedroom, over to the bedside table and picked up the phone.
Junk, just junk. She'd assumed it would be him again. She glanced at the time. It was only just six, she sighed. He wouldn't even be awake yet.
She deleted the junk mail and whilst trying not to think too much about it, she clicked to view Max's message, just the words 'Number 7. Because I miss your shoes.' no kisses, just those words, she scrolled down, there was a picture that he'd taken of her shoes on his bedroom floor that first night.
She stood, thumb poised over the screen, her shoes, gleaming black, one tipped over. She remembered how quickly she had discarded them, how she'd kicked them them blindly aside whilst pulling him closer to her, kissing him. How he'd tasted of cigarettes, and something just so very 'him'. She inhaled and looked away, she could almost smell him.
She clicked her phone off, set it back down and went to find her hair brush.
-*-
The hospital doors wheezed and hissed open and sucked her inside with a belch of warm air. She tugged her bag up higher onto her shoulder as she walked, raising a hand in greeting to Rita whom she glimpsed on the other side of reception.
"Morning."
She paused at reception, Noel swallowed whatever it was that he was chewing and muttered a 'hello' whilst Louise waved a white envelope at her from the other side of reception.
"For you."
She said, placing the phone receiver back in its cradle and leaning across Noel to hand It to her.
Zoe hesitated before taking it.
"What is it?"
She asked, and Louise thrust it at her, forcing her to take it.
"I have absolutely no idea."
She said, her voice tinged with sarcasm.
Zoe turned it over in her hand, only her name printed in anonymous handwriting on the front.
"It must have been hand-delivered?"
She asked, and both Noel and Louise glanced to one another, Noel shrugged.
"It was just there when we came in."
He said and retrieved a sandwich from beneath the desk that he took another mouthful of. "Just where?"
She asked looking again at the hand writing.
"On the desk..."
Louise raised an eyebrow.
"Is everything ok, Zoe?"
Noel asked, watching Zoe finger the envelope as though she feared it may explode.
"Hmm?"
She looked up.
"Fine...I'm fine."
She tucked the envelope into the crook of her arm and stepped back from reception, bumping into Robyn as she moved. She turned, feeling Robyn's hand against her arm.
"Sorry!"
They both spoke at once and Robyn gestured to the doors leading out into the corridor.
"Going this way?"
She asked, and Zoe nodded. Robyn pushed open the door, holding it open while Zoe stepped through, both women moving together along the corridor in a stilted silence.
"Robyn..."
Zoe stopped abruptly outside the door to her office and folded her arms, her fingers touching the envelope.
"I just..."
She looked at Robyn's expectant expression, she cleared her throat.
"I heard your brother has left."
She said, wincing with embarrassment as she spoke. She saw the confusion furrow Robyn's brow, saw the arc of an eyebrow, she hadn't been expecting that.
"Uh. Yeah...yes."
Robyn stepped out of the way of a trolley that was wheeled passed and Zoe watched it travel by, wishing she had never bought Max up.
"He's got a job at Tesco's."
Thankfully Robyn offered the information without Zoe having to ask.
"Ah...well, probably less stressful..."
Zoe said, unsure as to why she was continuing this farce of a conversation. Robyn nodded, glancing along the corridor, clearly wishing she was well on her way to somewhere else.
"He hates it, I don't know why he left..."
Robyn said, catching sight of Lofty who was making his way towards them.
"Why who left?"
Lofty asked, coming to a stand still before them.
"Max."
Robyn said, shifting and Lofty nodded.
"Miserable sod."
He murmured and glanced to Zoe.
"Sorry."
He mumbled.
"Why is he miserable?"
She asked, and Robyn shrugged her shoulders and expelled an exasperated sigh.
"He's been miserable for weeks. Just mopes about, doesn't really talk, doesn't really eat..."
She began.
"Think he's had his heart broken by a mystery woman."
Lofty cut in, and a look of something flickered through Robyn's eyes, she looked at Zoe, frowned slightly.
"Well! I hope this new job makes him happier."
Zoe spoke quickly, ignoring Robyn's inquisitive stare and she pushed down on the handle of her office door.
"I'd better get on..."
She added, glancing to Lofty who still seemed none the wiser.
She pushed open the door and made to step inside, when once again she felt Robyn's hand upon her arm.
"Just in case anyone needs to know...it's the Tesco Extra on the roundabout..."
Robyn said quietly.
More soon! xxx