The Tesco car park was full. She tapped her fingers on the steering wheel and chewed on the soft flesh of her bottom lip whilst she drove back down the last line of cars for the third time that evening. She veered to the left, passed the supermarket entrance. She caught the flash of someone's lights and saw a blue Skoda begin to reverse from a space. She glanced in her rear view mirror, there was a string of cars behind her. She exhaled, glanced at the 'Mother and Baby' sign above the space that she'd spotted, ignored it, and pulled off, swerving into the space flanked by family cars full of car seats and empty crisp packets.
She parked. The noise of the engine was replaced by the hiss of the rain and the spatter of it across her windscreen.
She looked through the grey blur of it toward the supermarket, glowing yellow in the darkness. She could see bodies moving about through the gaping windows, saw hunched figures run from the covered entrance to their cars, eyes squinted against the rain.
She undid her seat belt, ran a hand over it as it released from her body and swallowed against the acid burn of nervousness at the back of her throat. Again she felt sick. She sighed, and pulled up the hood of her coat. This all felt remarkably similar to the time when she had tried waxing, and couldn't quite bring herself to pull off the strip.
Hopefully the end result wouldn't be so painful this time.
She popped open the car door and stepped out into the rain. She bowed her head, the cold hit her, made her shudder beneath her clothes and the wind whipped against her legs, an empty carrier bag skittered towards her and caught about her shoe so that she had to kick it away, sending it back into the wind.
The car locked with a bleep and a flicker of light. She made her way, arms folded about her waist, to the entrance. The doors were open already open. Two security men stood either side, big burly men with set expressions and receding hairlines.
She straightened her coat and pulled down her hood.
The shop was bigger than she remembered, she rarely shopped for food, and now aisle after aisle of it was set before her.
She tucked her hands into her pockets and set off in a vague attempt to look as though there was a purpose to her meandering. She by-passed the magazines and newspapers, glanced up and down the rows and rows of toys and kitchen appliances and knocked shoulders with various people as she side stepped the mobile phone counter – she had forgotten that Christmas meant it would be busier, more people intent on getting what they wanted.
She stopped for a moment, so many bodies massed about her, her eyes ached from trying to flick quickly over each and every one of them. She raised herself out of her shoes, standing on tip toes in an attempt to look over the crowds, but even then she was still a little bit too short. She cursed her height under her breath and moved away again.
Vegetables, fruit...cheese, she gave a wide birth to the fish counter and stopped again near frozen deserts, she'd glanced down every aisle so far and only seemed to have made it a third of the way down the shop.
She pulled out her phone from her pocket and moved slowly from the deserts into the aisle opposite, a surprisingly quiet aisle dedicated to pet food. She scrolled through her contact list, only to make it to 'M' where she remembered she had deleted his number weeks ago. She clicked the home screen and tapped on her text messages...
"I'd have put you down as more of a Waitrose woman."
A voice behind her made her jump and she fumbled with her phone, feeling it slither from her grasp.
He caught it, and held it out to her.
She turned to him, seeing him for the first time. No more burgundy T-shirt, now the cerulean blue of Tesco, and a wide white name tag with "STEVE" printed on it.
"Thank you."
She took her phone and slipped it into her pocket.
"After work munchies?"
He asked, cocking his head to one side, watching the colour rise to her cheeks, a dusky pink flush only ever visible under the harsh yellow strip lighting of supermarkets, hospitals and the like.
"Hmm?"
She murmured, suddenly she had no idea what she was doing there, or why she had thought it had been a good idea.
"Are you ok?"
He asked, moving to one side, away from a family who pushed two trolleys well stocked with goods.
He seemed too close, she could smell him, and the memory of it made her struggle to breathe.
"I'm just...shopping."
She said flatly, gesturing with a limp toss of her hand. He glanced about them.
"I didn't know you had a dog."
He said quietly.
She frowned and dipped her head from his gaze.
"I took a wrong turn..."
She murmured, and glanced behind herself to the aisle beyond. Baking products...
"And where are you going to put it?"
He asked. She looked at him, bewildered.
"Put what?"
She asked, and he smiled. That beautiful even 'Max' smile that made her breath catch again.
"Your shopping. You haven't got a basket...or a trolley..."
He bit his lip, still smiling.
She inhaled sharply. She hadn't thought of that...
"Ok...I didn't come here to shop."
She said eventually, exhaling as she did so and dropping her arms to her sides in defeat.
"I came to find you."
She added quietly.
"Ah."
He said, and nodded slightly, offering nothing else but the glitter of amusement within his eyes.
Zoe shifted, her mind drawing a blank. Now that she was here, and had found him, she was at a loss of what to say.
"Follow me."
He said eventually, and raised an arm to guide her from the aisle.
They moved through the baking aisle where someone was cleaning up a burst sack of flour, and down through the bathroom products where they reached the entrance at the other end of the building. The doors hissed open and Max stepped out into the cold, she followed, a clear glass awning above their heads.
"Why does your name badge say Steve?"
She asked, catching sight of it again as he turned, and as his body was illuminated in the glow from the shop she saw the flurry of goosebumps that ran the length of his bare forearms.
He glanced down at his badge.
"They haven't made me one yet, so I'm stuck with this one...Do I look like a Steve?"
He asked, looking at her.
She smiled and shook her head ever so slightly.
"Max...listen..."
She began, faltering, not quite sure what she was going to say.
"I don't really know why I came here...but I knew I had to, because I don't think it's fair to let you go on doing these things when I can't give you what you want..."
She looked down at her hands, to where her fingers interlinked nervously before her. She couldn't bring herself to look up at him.
"Don't worry, just three more days."
He said, and she frowned.
"Until Christmas?"
She asked, daring to look up. He shook his head, his smile was gone.
"That too, but no, three more days until I stop counting. Then you'll be free of me."
He said with a shrug.
"I don't understand..."
"The twelve days of Christmas...? It was twelve days until Christmas when I started. Three more days to go. Twelve days of Christmas, twelve reasons why."
He said, his voice soft.
She flicked the ever-present hang nail again.
"Aren't the twelve days of Christmas after Christmas?"
She asked slowly and she caught the glimmer of a smile at his lips.
"I couldn't wait that long."
He whispered.
"Besides! It's more romantic this way."
He drew his bottom lip into his mouth, biting down on it and smiling.
"Wait there..."
He added, holding up a finger and slipping back through the double doors without warning.
She stood, waiting in the cold, he'd moved out of sight, but only seconds later he was back, one hand behind his back.
"Close your eyes."
He said, and she raised an eyebrow in suspicion.
"Close them..."
He lowered his voice and she closed them, denying the urge to keep them open slightly, just in case.
She felt him take hold of her right hand. She swallowed hard, he hadn't touched her for so long...
She felt something cold and hard press into her palm and she opened her eyes, looking down at her hand.
"Number nine."
He said, and she turned the chocolate bar over in her hand.
"Why is this a reason to be with you?"
She asked, bewildered.
"Because I will always buy you chocolate, and when you tell me that you can't eat it because you need to lose weight, I'll tell you that you're beautiful..."
He let his hand fall from hers.
"Just the way you are."
He added.
More tomorrow...thank you for the lovely messages! Reviews welcome as always! xxx
She parked. The noise of the engine was replaced by the hiss of the rain and the spatter of it across her windscreen.
She looked through the grey blur of it toward the supermarket, glowing yellow in the darkness. She could see bodies moving about through the gaping windows, saw hunched figures run from the covered entrance to their cars, eyes squinted against the rain.
She undid her seat belt, ran a hand over it as it released from her body and swallowed against the acid burn of nervousness at the back of her throat. Again she felt sick. She sighed, and pulled up the hood of her coat. This all felt remarkably similar to the time when she had tried waxing, and couldn't quite bring herself to pull off the strip.
Hopefully the end result wouldn't be so painful this time.
She popped open the car door and stepped out into the rain. She bowed her head, the cold hit her, made her shudder beneath her clothes and the wind whipped against her legs, an empty carrier bag skittered towards her and caught about her shoe so that she had to kick it away, sending it back into the wind.
The car locked with a bleep and a flicker of light. She made her way, arms folded about her waist, to the entrance. The doors were open already open. Two security men stood either side, big burly men with set expressions and receding hairlines.
She straightened her coat and pulled down her hood.
The shop was bigger than she remembered, she rarely shopped for food, and now aisle after aisle of it was set before her.
She tucked her hands into her pockets and set off in a vague attempt to look as though there was a purpose to her meandering. She by-passed the magazines and newspapers, glanced up and down the rows and rows of toys and kitchen appliances and knocked shoulders with various people as she side stepped the mobile phone counter – she had forgotten that Christmas meant it would be busier, more people intent on getting what they wanted.
She stopped for a moment, so many bodies massed about her, her eyes ached from trying to flick quickly over each and every one of them. She raised herself out of her shoes, standing on tip toes in an attempt to look over the crowds, but even then she was still a little bit too short. She cursed her height under her breath and moved away again.
Vegetables, fruit...cheese, she gave a wide birth to the fish counter and stopped again near frozen deserts, she'd glanced down every aisle so far and only seemed to have made it a third of the way down the shop.
She pulled out her phone from her pocket and moved slowly from the deserts into the aisle opposite, a surprisingly quiet aisle dedicated to pet food. She scrolled through her contact list, only to make it to 'M' where she remembered she had deleted his number weeks ago. She clicked the home screen and tapped on her text messages...
"I'd have put you down as more of a Waitrose woman."
A voice behind her made her jump and she fumbled with her phone, feeling it slither from her grasp.
He caught it, and held it out to her.
She turned to him, seeing him for the first time. No more burgundy T-shirt, now the cerulean blue of Tesco, and a wide white name tag with "STEVE" printed on it.
"Thank you."
She took her phone and slipped it into her pocket.
"After work munchies?"
He asked, cocking his head to one side, watching the colour rise to her cheeks, a dusky pink flush only ever visible under the harsh yellow strip lighting of supermarkets, hospitals and the like.
"Hmm?"
She murmured, suddenly she had no idea what she was doing there, or why she had thought it had been a good idea.
"Are you ok?"
He asked, moving to one side, away from a family who pushed two trolleys well stocked with goods.
He seemed too close, she could smell him, and the memory of it made her struggle to breathe.
"I'm just...shopping."
She said flatly, gesturing with a limp toss of her hand. He glanced about them.
"I didn't know you had a dog."
He said quietly.
She frowned and dipped her head from his gaze.
"I took a wrong turn..."
She murmured, and glanced behind herself to the aisle beyond. Baking products...
"And where are you going to put it?"
He asked. She looked at him, bewildered.
"Put what?"
She asked, and he smiled. That beautiful even 'Max' smile that made her breath catch again.
"Your shopping. You haven't got a basket...or a trolley..."
He bit his lip, still smiling.
She inhaled sharply. She hadn't thought of that...
"Ok...I didn't come here to shop."
She said eventually, exhaling as she did so and dropping her arms to her sides in defeat.
"I came to find you."
She added quietly.
"Ah."
He said, and nodded slightly, offering nothing else but the glitter of amusement within his eyes.
Zoe shifted, her mind drawing a blank. Now that she was here, and had found him, she was at a loss of what to say.
"Follow me."
He said eventually, and raised an arm to guide her from the aisle.
They moved through the baking aisle where someone was cleaning up a burst sack of flour, and down through the bathroom products where they reached the entrance at the other end of the building. The doors hissed open and Max stepped out into the cold, she followed, a clear glass awning above their heads.
"Why does your name badge say Steve?"
She asked, catching sight of it again as he turned, and as his body was illuminated in the glow from the shop she saw the flurry of goosebumps that ran the length of his bare forearms.
He glanced down at his badge.
"They haven't made me one yet, so I'm stuck with this one...Do I look like a Steve?"
He asked, looking at her.
She smiled and shook her head ever so slightly.
"Max...listen..."
She began, faltering, not quite sure what she was going to say.
"I don't really know why I came here...but I knew I had to, because I don't think it's fair to let you go on doing these things when I can't give you what you want..."
She looked down at her hands, to where her fingers interlinked nervously before her. She couldn't bring herself to look up at him.
"Don't worry, just three more days."
He said, and she frowned.
"Until Christmas?"
She asked, daring to look up. He shook his head, his smile was gone.
"That too, but no, three more days until I stop counting. Then you'll be free of me."
He said with a shrug.
"I don't understand..."
"The twelve days of Christmas...? It was twelve days until Christmas when I started. Three more days to go. Twelve days of Christmas, twelve reasons why."
He said, his voice soft.
She flicked the ever-present hang nail again.
"Aren't the twelve days of Christmas after Christmas?"
She asked slowly and she caught the glimmer of a smile at his lips.
"I couldn't wait that long."
He whispered.
"Besides! It's more romantic this way."
He drew his bottom lip into his mouth, biting down on it and smiling.
"Wait there..."
He added, holding up a finger and slipping back through the double doors without warning.
She stood, waiting in the cold, he'd moved out of sight, but only seconds later he was back, one hand behind his back.
"Close your eyes."
He said, and she raised an eyebrow in suspicion.
"Close them..."
He lowered his voice and she closed them, denying the urge to keep them open slightly, just in case.
She felt him take hold of her right hand. She swallowed hard, he hadn't touched her for so long...
She felt something cold and hard press into her palm and she opened her eyes, looking down at her hand.
"Number nine."
He said, and she turned the chocolate bar over in her hand.
"Why is this a reason to be with you?"
She asked, bewildered.
"Because I will always buy you chocolate, and when you tell me that you can't eat it because you need to lose weight, I'll tell you that you're beautiful..."
He let his hand fall from hers.
"Just the way you are."
He added.
More tomorrow...thank you for the lovely messages! Reviews welcome as always! xxx