A/N: Hi All, So I go from no contact to posting 2 stories at once (this and Unfathomable). Crazy, I know, but I found this story in my Google docs and I had to revive it. It's only partially written and it is pretty funny to read how I "used to" write and try to edit it. It may sound clunky for a bit as I try to adapt it to my current writing style. I think it will be a fun, drama filled ride and as I mentioned, don't expect canon. I had initially outlined it to be fairly angsty so I apologize to those who aren't into that. Also, it does have some "intimate scenes" that are semi-explicit (e.g. I summarize sex between characters but do not give a play-by-play). Do you think I should remove/re-write these scenes? Or should I change my rating to "M"? Thanks for all the support and I promise I won't neglect Unfathomable for this shiny new plaything.

The toilet paper holder was empty in the first two stalls but Ellie was finally able to grasp for some in the third. She had been able to hold it together until she reached the bathroom but as soon as she closed the door behind the tears flooded out. I have nothing? How dare she? That immature little bitch. Ellie smashed the tissue up to her eyes, bringing back small traces of black mascara, the only makeup she had put on for her evening out.

Ellie exited the stall, still mopping her sodden eyes as her waitress walked into the bathroom vestibule holding a few rolls of toilet paper. "Need more?" she quipped, looking at Ellie with concern.

"I'm good," Ellie said as she held up her crumpled tissue. Humiliation was sweeter when shared, right? She turned on the water at the sink and splashed water on her face as the waitress replaced the toilet paper in the stalls.

"Your friend closed out, by the way. Just let me know if you want another glass of wine or anything."

Ellie froze, water dripping off her hands. Closed out? "Did she leave?"

"I think so," came the muffled reply.

Shit! Ellie grabbed a paper towel and rushed out of the bathroom. The table was empty save for her own purse and the car keys. Well, at least she left me the car. Lydia wasn't outside of the bar and Ellie was concerned for a moment that she had walked home. She noticed the line of taxis across the street and pulled out her phone to call her sister. Lydia's voicemail picked up on the second ring, "If this is Ellie, go home. I'm fine. Don't leave a message. I'll see you later." Beep. Ellie swallowed the expletives dancing on her lips and crawled into the car to drive home. Happy birthday to me.

Ellie woke the next morning, relieved that her thirtieth birthday was dead and gone. Her head ached - a sure sign she had tossed and turned in the night. It certainly wasn't a hangover as she never had the opportunity to drink more than a few sips of her birthday wines. She dressed quickly in tan slacks and a pink floral blouse, pulling her thick brown hair into a neat bun. Lydia's door was shut as she tiptoed by to avoid an early morning confrontation. The house didn't reveal any other inhabitants and she relished the quiet. Her parents had not yet retired and were both early to rise and already to work. Ellie quickly made a cup of coffee, grabbed a bagel from the breadbox and walked out to her car.

Ellie's car, Cassie Curricle,as she was affectionately called, was an older model coupe that she had received as a high school graduation present from her parents. She had been thrilled and overwhelmed by the generosity, not realizing at first that the expectation had been set that she would play chauffeur to her thirteen year old sister. Ellie was attending community college with plans to transfer to the state university after two years. She wanted to save up so she wouldn't have to owe her parents for college. But that meant continuing to live at home and essentially be at Lydia's mercy. She still marveled how a young teenager could have had such control over her adult life. She loved her sister, but it was hard not to be resentful of someone that you were forced to put before yourself.

When Ellie finally did transfer to the state university she felt the freedom of being away for the first time. She secured an apartment not far from campus and made some great friends. Her trips home became infrequent but every so often she would hear that longing sound in her mother's voice and she would feel guilty for staying away. Jane's recent marriage had meant that her mother was lonely. The thrill of planning a wedding had to be replaced with something and that something was tormenting Ellie. Or loving her - oppressively. She really couldn't tell the difference and she hated that her mother's voice caused a tidal wave of guilt. She would come home for a weekend, and by the second hour be longing for the relative peace of her tiny apartment.

Thoughts of her old apartment flooded her as she drove into work: the paper thin walls between the rooms; the highway practically running through her backyard; the way the microwave didn't work unless it had a heavy book on top. A fond smile tugged the corners of her mouth up. With all its imperfections she had loved her apartment and had kept it, even after she graduated. Her roommates moved on to graduate school and jobs in different cities. Ellie stayed. She eventually traded undergraduate roommates for graduate students. For the last year she had no roommates at all, preferring the solitude of living alone. When she lost her job she had hoped to turn around and find another so she could stay but it didn't really make sense. The new job she found was practically in her parent's neighborhood and it didn't pay enough to be independent. Ellie glanced at her reflection in the rearview mirror and sighed. One step forward, ten steps back.

"Hello Miss Bennet," a voice said shyly.

Ellie looked up from her computer and smiled at the little boy in her doorway. "Come on in Theo," she encouraged him. The little boy clambered into the red child's chair opposite of Ellie's slightly larger blue chair. "Ok, let's go over "th". Thirty Thirsty Things. Theo." Half an hour later a smiling Theo pocketed a Spiderman sticker from the treasure box and Ellie's co-worker Angela popped her head in the door. "Hey Ang. What's up?"

Angela's eyes narrowed and she crossed her arms dramatically. "Have you checked your email today?"

"No," Ellie said guiltily. "What's going on?"

"Read it," Angela said, leaving the doorway and walking over to the computer. "It sounds bad."

Ellie spun her chair over to a small desk she shared with the two other instructional aides. She logged in and accessed her work email. "Work in Spain?" she asked confused. "That sounds awesome, not bad."

Angela laughed. "Not that one. That one," she said, pointing at the next email on the list. Staff Meeting 12:00.

Ellie frowned and glanced at Angela. "An unplanned staff meeting today?"

Angela nodded slowly, "At lunch, too."

Ellie opened the email and quickly scanned the details. The state had returned some new budget data to the school districts and a meeting was necessary to discuss the details. "Great," Ellie said unenthusiastically.

Ellie's feet dragged as she walked out to her car after work. Laid off. Again. She sighed heavily, tears pricking her eyes. "It's not personal," the principal had said. "We're being asked to let go of all non-essential staff." Non-essential. That basically means unnecessary. Not needed. Lydia's words echoed in her ears, "You have nothing." Did she truly have nothing now?

Ellie called her Jane on the way home. "Jane?" Ellie's voice cracked as her sister and best friend picked up.

"Ellie, baby, what's wrong?"

"I got laid off, again." The bitterness was strong this time. Lydia was actually strangely prophetic about that.

"Oh, no. What hap- Brody, drop that right now. Hey Ellie, I'm fostering a litter of puppies right now. They are trouble. One of them thinks that my socks are for swallowing. I'd better go so I don't have to bring them in to work tonight. Can I call you later? Brody, drop that!"

"Of course," Ellie said, deflated as she heard the line click and go dead. Geez. Good thing I'm not close to slashing my wrists. This rejection is getting hard to take.

It was Thursday and so her parents and Lydia were scheduled to be out of the house until late that evening. Her younger sister had recently started a job in a smoking cessation call center and her parents had a weekly dinner with friends. With how crappy life had been lately she could have taken this as another sign of abandonment but she was thrilled to have the house to herself. She changed straight into her pajamas even though it wouldn't get dark for another four hours and grabbed the bag of chocolate chips she had stuffed behind the carton of eggs in the top reaches of the refrigerator.

Stuffing a small handful of chocolate into her mouth she grabbed her laptop from the kitchen table and brought it back to her bedroom. Let's see if Danielle is around. She opened her email and looked at the list of people she could instant message, searching for her high school friend. Danielle's profile indicated that she wasn't online right now. "Strike two," she voiced aloud. Ellie browsed through the junk email from department stores and various mailing lists she had subscribed to. She doubted if there were three genuine emails in her entire inbox. As she searched for her last email from Danielle she saw the email that she had noticed earlier in her work inbox, "Teach in Spain."

She clicked on the message to open it.

Hola Ellie,

Teaching Abroad Inc. is recruiting for the upcoming school year. We are currently hiring for our center in Madrid, Spain. We received your name, email and professional profile from last year's Elementary Educators Conference. Every year Teaching Abroad Inc. places hundreds of American educators in foreign countries to teach English to local students. We provide housing and a meal allowance as well as competitive salary for educators who qualify and sign a year contract with our company. Please click on the link below to access more information and our online application. We look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

James Woodson

Teaching Abroad Inc.

Ellie chuckled. Imagine me, teaching in Spain. She clicked on the link and up popped a colorful website with photos of kids of all nationalities and famous world landmarks. She found the information on Madrid. A one-year contract. Housing in a residential facility with her fellow teachers. Better than having to secure my own apartment in a foreign country. Breakfast and some dinners provided in the cafeteria. Probably yuck, but it's free food. Salary commensurate with experience. Could be crappy but as I now make $0 per year it would be an improvement. And I wouldn't be living here anymore. As she continued reading details about the program, Ellie's eyebrows raised in contemplation. I could do this.

Diana Bennet blew her nose loudly while chewing her chicken parmesan. The entire family, minus Jane and Wicks, were gathered in the Happy Landings airport bar and grill. "Mom," Ellie and Lydia said simultaneously, Ellie with concern, Lydia with annoyance. "Jinx!" they both screamed.

"Girls!" their father barked. Ellie smiled at her sister. Lydia and she had made up soon after the fight at Ellie's birthday. She had been nothing but supportive about Ellie's decision to spend a year teaching in Madrid. The same could not be said for Ellie's parents. Ellie waited until she had been accepted into the program and had obtained her visa to break the news to her mother. Diana had broken out in sobs, repeating, "My baby" and "But, don't you like it here?" Ellie tried to get her to see the good in it but in the end it was Ellie's strong resolve that she was going, end of story.

Her father remained pretty quiet about her decision. She had decided to ask him, instead of her mother, to borrow the money for her plane ticket to Madrid. She had just enough in her bank account but wanted just a little bit of a cushion until her first paycheck cleared. It was mortifying to be thirty years old and have to borrow money from her family but she was decided on this new course for her life. She cornered him one day after dinner, presented him with a logical plan for borrowing and repaying the money and gave him a big hug before he could refuse. He was so overwhelmed that he grumbled, "ok" and breezed past her down the hall, leaving a check on her bed the next day. Ellie was pretty sure her mother wasn't aware of the loan.

"It's just, I've never had you leave me before," Diana moaned, fanning her face dramatically with her napkin.

Ellie rolled her eyes. "Mom, I did leave. For college, remember. I only recently returned."

Diana huffed, "I know that, but I could drive there. You've never gone anywhere that I couldn't drive to see you. How will we talk every day?"

Ellie sighed and resisted another eye rolling. "The program is providing me with a cell phone, as you know. I'll give you the phone number as soon as I know it and there is always email. Our center has a computer lab I can use."

"International calls are so expensive," her mother sniffed.

"Then email me," Ellie grumbled.

"I'll call and email sissy," Lydia trilled. "And I'll make Jane do it too."

Jane had been the first person Ellie called when she got her acceptance to teach in Spain. She was silent for one beat, then two, before replying breathlessly, "Oh, wow. I am so proud of you, Ellie. You're putting yourself out there, trying something new, moving away..." Ellie heard the unshed tears in her voice. Ellie's heart broke for her sister, trapped in a loveless marriage, away from all family.

Jane had married her high school sweetheart. At least that is how her mother described it. Ellie couldn't think of it in such doe-eyed terms. Jane, being the gorgeous, insanely kind person she was, had attracted most of their high school student body. Initially Ellie had liked him. He was nice to Jane and drove her and Ellie around in his souped up muscle car.

They dated as she went off to college and Jane often told Ellie that she thought she should end it with him. He had peaked in high school and was looking to Jane to support him. He began to drink excessively and his outward affection towards Jane waned. He became downright mean; mean to the kindest woman in the world. Ellie talked her through her break up speech and Jane kept working up the courage to end it. Ellie was convinced that he knew it was coming because right as she was set to dump him, Jane would call to tell her how loving he was being and that maybe she was making a mistake. The cycle would then begin again. Then Jane got pregnant. It was right before her college graduation. Ellie had freaked. Her sister's entire future flashed before her eyes as if Jane had died on the spot. He offered Jane a ring and she accepted.

They were married within a few weeks of Jane walking across the stage and accepting her diploma. No one knew she was pregnant except for Ellie. Jane was too ashamed to tell their mother who was over the moon about a daughter married. Ellie continued to mourn for her sister, which became mourning in earnest when her sister lost the baby a few weeks after the wedding.

Her one source of comfort was that Jane had her animals. Jane worked as a veterinary technician at an animal hospital. She had wanted to work with animals as long as Ellie could remember. She loved her job, but that was about the only thing she loved about her life in Iowa, as far as Ellie could tell.

She tried to convince Jane to fly out to California to see her off but Jane said that she couldn't get the time off work. "We're swamped Ellie. I helped Dr. Alvin deliver puppies today. Pugs. So cute."

"Well, maybe you can come out to Madrid to visit me?" she had asked.

"Maybe," said Jane uncertainly. "I'd really like that if I can figure out how to make it happen."

"What do you do first?" Lydia asked eagerly, breaking into her thought about Jane. They had heard her itinerary over and over but Lydia couldn't seem to get enough.

"I arrive at Madrid Barajas Airport at around 8:00 a.m. Teaching Abroad Inc. is supposed to have someone waiting for me to take me to the residential facility."

"I have always wanted someone waiting with a sign at the airport," Lydia interrupted dreamily. Ellie smiled indulgently at her younger sister's romantic fantasy. She imagined the person waiting for her wouldn't be a handsome stranger the way Lydia was imagining.

"I have a few hours to rest and settle in and then we have an orientation meeting and then a welcome dinner."

"Orientation," Ellie's dad smirked. Doug Bennet couldn't believe how much this program sounded like an excuse for adults to relive their college days. Living in a dorm, running around Europe. Sheesh.

"Yes," Ellie said, raising her eyebrows slightly, "orientation. Then training for a week and then I start the school year the next Monday."

Lydia sighed, lost in her fantasy. "I know you are going to have the most amazing adventure. And I hear Spanish guys are hot." Ellie snorted as her mother look ecstatic and her father flushed.

"Won't you get tired of burritos and tacos?" Diana asked her. "Maybe I should send some food with you?"

"Mom, I'm going to Spain, not Mexico. They don't eat burritos and tacos."

Diana looked confused. "But, they speak Spanish there, right?"

"Yes, Mom, they speak Spanish."