A/N: This year, we performed Much Ado About Nothing. Since the play is very dialogue-oriented and I wanted to include all the funny parts, my trailer turned out to be longer than Cymbeline's. In our version, we made Verges sort of Gollum-like in the way he walks, Hero rise up from her "tomb" after Claudio hangs the epitaph, and Beatrice listen in on Benedick's attempt at a sonnet.

Disclaimer: The plot and the characters belong to William Shakespeare, as do the lines "love gods," "for the world must be peopled," "kill Claudio," and "you are an ass." Bakershake 2007's director (and Actor from the London Stage), Matt Radford, came up with this interpretation. Finally, all the girls off-stage really did go "aww" at Don Pedro's proposal during rehearsal.

The Much Ado About Nothing Trailer

Tech People: Set! Props! Costumes! Lights! Sound!

Leonato: Welcome prince, mi casa es su casa.

Benedick: Oh look, there's the bitch of Messina.
Beatrice: And here's the asshole of the military. I hate you.
Benedick: I hate you more.
Beatrice: I hate you times infinity.
Benedick: I hate you times infinity plus one. Ha!
Beatrice: That's not possible…don't you walk away from me!

Claudio: Leonato's daughter is so hot!
Benedick: Meh.
Don Pedro: Hey, I'll get her for you.

Don John: Bwahahahaha. I am an evil bastard.

Beatrice: Boys are stupid.
Antonio: Party time!

Don John: Let's screw with Claudio's mind.

Claudio: Hero doesn't like me. Woe is me!
Don Pedro: Dude, stop looking like somebody stole your girl. You're going to get married.
Claudio & Hero: make googly-eyes at each other
Beatrice: Love is in the air…yet I'm still single.
Don Pedro: I can fix that.
Female audience members: Awww.
Beatrice: Sorry but I'll have to decline.
Don Pedro: That's okay. Beatrice leaves.You know, she'd be a good match for Benedick. Time to commence Operation: Love Gods!

Borachio: Here's the plan. I'm going to screw Margaret in plain view and call her Hero.

Benedick: I can't believe Claudio has become a whipped sissy boy.
Balthasar: I'm such an angsty musician.
Don Pedro: Benedick is listening. You guys know the routine.
Leonato: Did you hear that my niece has a crush on Benedick?
Claudio: If Benedick finds out, he's going to make fun of her. All exit except Benedick
Benedick: WTF?! I must requite her love, for the world must be peopled!

Hero: Now it's our turn.
Ursula: Benedick has the hots for Beatrice? Like, OMG!
Hero: She's too much of a crazy feminist to return his love. All exit except Beatrice.
Beatrice: No way! I must be nicer to Benedick then.

Benedick: Guys, I feel funny.
Claudio & Pedro: He's in love! He's in love!
Benedick: Shut up, you dorks. Exits
Don John: Bro, I know you hate me, but there's something I must tell you. Hero is a 'ho.

Dogberry: I'm going to be obnoxiously loud and mix up my words because I can do that…for I am the great master constable Dogberry!
Verges: I'm his preciousssss lackey.
Watch: We're just a bunch of hicks who want to go to bed.
Oatcake: I'm the smart one!
Borachio: Dude, I got laid, and I am SO drunk!
Conrade: First, I have to drunk-sit this idiot and hear about how he sabotaged the wedding. Then, we get arrested by umbrella-toting rednecks. Could my night get any better?

Beatrice: I feel like crap.
Margaret: You must be sick…love-sick for Benedick. Haha, I'm good.

Friar Francis: Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here…this is the abridged version so I'll skip to if anybody has objections, speak up.
Claudio: I'm not marrying this slut. Women suck! Oh I'm so emo!
Hero: I've never slept with any man.
Don Pedro: Liar, we saw you. Hero faints.
Leonato: Then it must be true. Let me die, or better yet, let her die.
Friar Francis: Hold up, something shady has gone down. Let's pretend that Hero is dead so that we can figure it all out.

Benedick: I know this is a bad time, but I love you. How weird is that?
Beatrice: Thank God, I was about to say the same thing.
Benedick: I'll do anything for you.
Beatrice: Kill Claudio.
Benedick: Um, no.
Beatrice: Then I hate you. Men are such pansies, but I wish I were one so that I could kick that pretty boy's ass.
Benedick: Calm down. I'll challenge him for you.

Dogberry: I want the truth!
The Sexton: Stop pretending to be a lawyer. Don John ran away, and Hero died. Exits
Conrade: You are an ass.
Dogberry: Oh no you didn't just call me that! Do you know who I am? I am the great master constable Dogberry. Everybody, remember that I am an ass!

Antonio: We're going to beat you whippersnappers into shape.
Don Pedro: I won't be responsible for giving you and your brother aneurysms so go away.
Borachio: Oh prince, it's all my fault.
Claudio: Damn, I royally screwed up.
Leonato: Yes you did, but you can make up for it.

Margaret: Oooh Benedick, write me a sonnet. Or better yet, sleep with me.
Benedick: No thanks. Margaret exits in a huff. I can't sing or rhyme.
Beatrice: You get an "A" for effort. Benedick tries to kiss her. Hey now, I said an "A," not a kiss.
Benedick: So what is it about me that you find irresistible?
Beatrice: Why did you fall in love with me?
Benedick: Actually it was against my own will.
Beatrice: Then I'll stop loving you. Problem solved.
Benedick: We're just not cut out to be romantics.

Claudio: Here lies the innocent Hero, killed by lies of gullible idiots. Exits. Hero rises up from the dead like a zombie.
Friar Francis: Told you so, Leonato.

Claudio: Can I see her face before I marry her?
Leonato: No.
Claudio: Well okay. I take you as my wife.
Hero: She unveils herself. Surprise! I'm not dead yet and still a virgin… though not for long now that I'm married. Finally.
Benedick: Um, which one's Beatrice?
Beatrice: What? You can't even recognize your girlfriend while she's veiled? Maybe we should just be friends.
Benedick: I'd agree if I didn't want to break your heart. The guys swore you were crazy for me.
Beatrice: The girls said that you'd die without my love.
Claudio: Oh what's this? One of Benedick's pathetic attempts at writing a poem for Beatrice?
Hero: And here's a love letter from my cousin to Benedick.
Benedick: We've been found out. I'll marry you out of pity.
Beatrice: I guess I'm forced to accept under great persuasion.
Benedick: Oh shut up. He kisses her. You know Claudio, it's a good thing I'm more of a lover than a fighter or I would've kicked your ass today. Now let's party!

THE END