Vision returns to me slowly. Slooooooooowwwwwwwwlyyyyyyyy. Not again.

"Rise and shine, sleeping beauty."

I groan at the tumult in my stomach and twist against the mattress, squinting my eyes against the rays of the mild dawn despite the fluttering blinds that crisscrossed them. Rubbing my claws through the fur between my ears, I give a cavernous yawn, running my tongue over my lips as I get my front paws underneath me. I was about to stretch when I realized that someone had spoken to me. Even better, I could understand their words. Why hadn't my ears followed the sound, then? They hadn't moved at all, not even a twitch. What was wrong with my ears?

I turned my eyes on Natasha Romanoff, her stone face a catalyst for the memories of my existence.

I'm not a wolf anymore.

Groaning, I run my hands-yes, hands-through my hair, the only fur that remains on the outside. But on the inside I know I'm still a monster. I can't believe I forgot my wolfsbane last night. I endangered all my friends, the entire ship. I've been irresponsible before, but this takes the cake. It's like leaving the door unlocked to a whole closetful of soul-sucking skeletons.

"Rough night?" inquired Nat. I thought she would have more sarcasm in her voice than she did, me not being her favorite due to my uncannily perpetual cheerfulness. But she sounded sincere. I would have said concerned if I hadn't known her better.

"You should know," I grumbled, sitting up and rubbing my eyes. I turned my weary gaze on her, trying to ignore my prevalent soreness. "How many?"

My question apparently confused her, but I knew it wasn't in the way she made it out to be.

"What're you talking about?" she inquired with furrowed brows. I gave a heavy sigh.

"Something you know all too well, Black Widow," She visibly tensed, but she wasn't guilty enough to look away from me. Yet. "You're too well-acquainted with death to ignore him. Shall I ask again or will you spare me the shame?"

She bit her lip. For a long time, the only sound was my ragged breathing. But then she spoke.

"Five wounded, including Agent Rogers, Stark, Loki," She shifted to reveal the bloodied side brace that she had been concealing with folded arms. I held my breath. "and of course me. Three dead. We can't say exactly whose was whose because the Hulk was set loose to try and distract you, but he was in control when he shifted, and unfortunately we can't say the same for you. Two died of blood loss because the medical team couldn't get to them soon enough after they were ambushed, and one was…"

"Hunted." I finished for her. She blinked at me, which from her was a rather expressive gesture of surprise.

"Yes," she said carefully. "The body was shredded. It almost looked like it had been...eaten."

That would explain the nausea. Grateful to find a bottled water on the nightstand beside me, I took a hearty swig to momentarily quell my protesting digestive system. Momentarily. I decided to lie back down, deciding against looking at Natasha. I didn't have to to know that she was horrified. She wouldn't express it facially anyway, she was too good for that, but I could feel it. The fear stench is almost palpable.

"That was you?" she inquired, a tone of disbelief in her voice. I gave a bitter chuckle.

"What, did you think it was the Hulk?" I drawled sarcastically. I pulled the comforter closer around me, dropping to a low murmur. "At least it was only three this time."

"This time?" echoed Nat. My eyes went to her for a prolonged moment, then returned to stare at my door where Loki leaned on the doorjamb. He didn't look at me.

"Well, I don't know," I said slightly defensively, staring right through him. "I know I've shifted before. I know I've killed. But I don't know who, or how many. Who survived, who didn't, who I orphaned or widowed...at least in your profession, you have some absolution."

My gaze flicked to the pistol at her belt. She opened her mouth to say something, closed it again as if she was rethinking. But speak she did.

"I don't think it makes it any better, if it's any consolation," she replied. I didn't move. "But I...I never thought I would say this, but I agree. If I hurt someone I knew, I would want to know. If there was someone I loved that I had put in danger...completely hypothetical, but still...I would want to know, and I would want to try and prevent it, if that was possible. I guess...I guess you were just trying to protect us. You sure had us fooled, not that that's relevant anymore."

I looked up at Loki, who instantly looked away as soon as I met his eyes. It wasn't my job to fool people. I was supposed to be bad at it.

"I wasn't trying to fool you or protect you," I moaned, blinking back the excess saltwater building on my eyeballs. She looked confused again. "You can believe that, even tell everyone else that that's why I did what I did. But it's not true. I just...I wanted to have an excuse to stick around. I wanted to stay with you guys so bad, and I thought that maybe if you thought I was special, Fury would keep me. So I gave away my greatest secret, but you didn't even think I was being serious. So I laughed along, because I didn't want to scare you. Fat lot of good that did. Fear keeps you alive...but it also leads me right to you, so what do I know?"

Nat was silent. But then she said something I never thought she would say.

"I like you, kid."

Startled, I lifted my head and looked at her better. Was she crying? No, she couldn't be. I was the one crying. I must've been imagining things. Or was I? What?

"At first, I…," she hesitated, but I didn't show the barest reaction. "honestly, I thought you were annoying. I thought you were fake. I didn't think you took any of this seriously, and that you were just kissing up to the other agents for your own reasons. I guess that's just what anyone would expect from someone too well acquainted with Loki," at this Loki gave an eyeroll, but otherwise was still. "but now I know it was wrong of me to assume you were as bad as him just because you knew him. You're nothing like him. You automatically trusted and loved all of us, even though that makes no sense, but eventually it worked. I guess that's another reason I hated you at first. Maybe I was jealous, maybe I was suspicious. Regardless…"

She looked up at me suddenly. She was definitely crying.

"I've decided to trust you." she whispered hoarsely. "And I'm glad you're my friend."

I nodded and gave her a smile, wiping my own tears away with my polka-dotted bedsheet. I'd been waiting for her to warm up to me ever since I met her. I knew that with the exception of Loki, she was the one that needed a friend most. But just like she'd said, she always kept her distance, which of course made sense because she'd doubtless been compromised in her line of work. Red on the ledger, red she didn't want anyone to see. She wasn't exactly letting me see, but she didn't have to. Her friendship was enough.

"I was wondering when you'd crack," I teased. She chuckled, so I did too. Then I realized how freaking tired I was. Bunching my comforter tighter around me, I mumbled one last request as she got up to leave me in peace.

"Do me a favor."

"Anything, Kins."

"...get the agents to start loading their weapons with silver."

She didn't reply. She didn't have to. She carried on with her exit, and Loki got out of her way to steal her seat. As soon as she had shut the door behind her, I woozily shambled out of bed and booked it to the bathroom to empty my digestive system of the raw human I had ingested the night before.

"Lovely," muttered Loki to himself as I finished, wiping the scraps from my lips with a paper towel and staggering back to my bed. Exhaling heavily, I sat back down on the bed, opting for a seat at the foot so as to be closer to Loki. I had an involuntary shudder.

"My Croft, I hate it when I do that," I sighed in exasperation. Loki gave his best attempt at a comforting-but-trying-not-to-be-awkward hug, but when I leaned into his arm he bit back a wince and took it back. I was instantly suspicious. Looking from his innocent eyes to his now concealed arm, I cut to the chase. With Loki, he'll sidetrack you with scarcely an effort if you don't focus.

"Let me see your arm." I demanded.

"Why?" he inquired, brows furrowing defensively. That's a tell. Like I needed one.

"I need to see your arm." I repeated, with more steel. He continued supporting his threadbare alibi despite the fact that he knew that I knew already.

"No, you really don't need to see my arm." he lied with a backwards lean and a get-off-my-case-you-lunatic look. I unleashed my full dragon glare.

"Loki Laufey-Odinson, whoever the kriff you think you are, let me see your arm. Now."

He hesitated, giving me the coal-eyed glower that he saved especially for those clever enough to catch him in the act. But it worked.

Loki relented, lifting it and respectfully looking away like a defeated wolf. I gingerly but firmly took it in my hands, unbuckling his metal arm guard and rolling back his sleeve. At the sight of the wound I gasped, my hand flying to my mouth.

Teeth marks, clear as day. Not just any. Mine. I could count the dried streaks of blood where each fang had punctured and torn.

Loki looked up at me and was visibly surprised to see me crying.

"Kinners," he breathed, taking a seat next to me and putting his wounded arm around me in an uncharacteristic display of friendship. I hugged him back with a vengeful grip, but I sobbed into him, disgusted at myself. How could I have done this to him? His only friend, turning on him and infecting him with her own curse in a fit of spite? As if that weren't enough, what about the others? Tony, Steve, even Natasha? Had I bitten them, too? Were they doomed right along with me? And the three dead? Their families and friends, what about them? Two had bled out slowly, alone in the dark after one penultimate moment of terror. One had been eaten. Alive? Probably. I willfully hunted him down and helped myself out of a mindless need to kill and satisfy something that wasn't there. I didn't even know how much pain I caused. Did they wonder in their last moments what they had done to deserve such a gruesome death?

Did they wonder who had done it with their last breath?

"I forgive you."

"Don't say that!" I snarled, burying myself further in him. "You're a monster, and it's all my fault. Don't pretend it's okay just to spare my feelings!"

"I'm not pretending." Loki said calmly. I quieted down ever so slightly, but I still couldn't believe him. He took my silence as an invitation to continue.

"Kinners, you saved my life," he murmured. What? "Do you remember? We were right here, last night. Black Widow and I were looking for your potion to try and change you back, or something like that. You followed us, but the Hulk came after you. You came in here, and then he tried to get in...but he knocked me out the far window. You went after me, seized me by the arm and pulled me back from the brink."

Not daring to believe it, I broke away from him, climbed back over my bed and yanked the blinds back up.

He wasn't lying.

The breeze that the blinds had been quivering in (mental slap in the face for not noticing) became twice as potent. The glass was gone. There wasn't a shard to be found on my bed, so it must have been broken from the inside out. Everything he said was true.

I looked back at him with searching eyes, to which he bestowed his classic tired smile. The one that made him seem so ancient and sad you couldn't help but adore him.

"Yes, you did bite me," he began with a twinge of fear. "and to be frank, I don't know how that's going to work out. I don't know what kind of werewolf I'll be, or how I'm going to deal with it. But I do know that I'd rather be alive and bitten than having fallen to my death without saying goodbye. Thank you."

I bit my lip. I still didn't feel like we were even. I didn't know how Loki's Asgardian body would react to the werewolf virus. Would it have been kinder to let him…?

…no, not at all.

"I believe you," I said finally, putting the blinds back down and edging back towards Loki. I was beginning to be tempted to jump out the open window. "but you don't have to be afraid. Don't give me that look, I know you are, because I was, too, when I was first bitten."

"And I must say you're braver than me." he lamented. Debatable, but I went along with it.

"Right. So I'll help you. It's kinda rough adjusting at first, but nothing to be scared of. It's the least I can do to help you out. Just like you said, it's my fault in the first place."

At that he gave a dry chuckle. I liked his laugh, when it was honest. When it wasn't, it was kind of nauseating. I noticed something on the floor and picked it up. It was my bottle of pink, bubble gum flavored essence of wolfsbane, still with two doses left marked in lines on the glass. Smart of Loki to find it, and lucky of him not to have dropped it out the window. Hefting it in my hand once, I passed it over to Loki.

"You'll need this," I instructed. "Eventually you'll have to place your own order with the brewer, but for now you can borrow mine. I don't know when it'll start, but sometime after you're bitten your body starts mutating and you start having really bad cramps just about everywhere. Not all at once, but it'll get there. You also take this if you don't want to shift on full moons. I don't know how bad it'll get, but for me I could barely function until my first shift and I can get pretty tipsy on full moons without it. And I'm the one that bit you, so...but I don't know. It's different every time, and you're Asgardian, so who knows?"

He was silent for a long time. I assumed he was reflecting, letting the reality sink in. I knew better than to bother him. I was trying to think of things I could say to ease it, but what he asked me next came out of nowhere.

"It's Pinkie, isn't it?" he inquired with a faked dullness to his voice. The coloring must have been a dead giveaway. I smirked.

"You know it."