AN: Gotta thank Blogquantumreality from Tumblr for the prompt.
Asami enters a Satomobile race contest, but she can't race her own car because of a ruled conflict of interest, so she asks Korra to do it. Korra, of course, remembers the last time she tried driving a car, and isn't so sure at first….
"So you want me to participate in this 'Grand Pricks' contest? Because if it is what I think it is, you know I would totally be down for it."
"Really Korra? It pronounced 'Grand Pree' and you need to get your mind out of the gutter." Asami pointed to something on the poster. "The race is this Saturday and the winner gets fifty grand."
"That will buy me SO many chicken nuggets."
"Really Korra? With that much money you can franchise your own Mcdonalds."
"I'm more of a fan of instant gratification. So who's prick am I racing?"
Asami rolled up the poster and smacked Korra on the nose. "Mind. Out. Of. Gutter. You race cars, not... that."
The Avatar crossed her arms and gave Asami a skeptical look. "Alright Asami, I'm sorry if this comes out wrong but I have to ask because you're my friend and I care about you. Korra grabbed Asami's shoulders and stared into her eyes. "Are you on drugs right now?"
"No." Asami dead panned.
"Are you sure? Because I'm pretty sure you just asked me, a person who can barely drive and crashed your precious car into a lamp post, to participate in a high speed race against other racers who have probably been driving since your dad invented cars. Not only that but there is also a very high probably that I will literally crash your car, that is worth hundreds of thousands of dollars, catch on fire and die. Now did I leave anything out or is there something you would like to add?"
"No that pretty much explains it."
"Oh my God you really are on drugs. Or...Are you trying to kill me? That's what you're trying to do isn't it?!"
"No! Of course not! I'm asking you to do this for me because you're my best friend and I have seen you accomplish great things. I know if you put your mind to it, you can- you know what? Fuck it. I'm asking you to race because my usual driver broke his arm and I won't be able to find a replacement in time. I would drive myself but sponsors can't drive their own vehicles."
"So you're literally asking me to do this because you have no choice?"
Asami shrugged. "Yeah pretty much."
"Okay."
"Really? Just like that?"
"Asami, I'm the fucking Avatar. I have people approaching me ALL the time asking me for favors that put my life in danger. I don't even get hazard pay… Or any pay. Korra rubbed her chin. "Huh, I really need to speak to Tenzin about that. Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that I can handle a race."
"Oh God thank you!" Asami hugged her. "We only have a few days to train you so we should get started right away."
"Calm down Asami, we'll Montage it."
"…What?!"
"You know, Montage it. Magically compress months of training within the span of a few minutes using the power of video editing and catchy 80's music."
"… WHAT?!"
"Don't worry about it Asami, I got this under control."
"...Welp," Asami frowned. "I let the Avatar get behind the wheel of a car and drive down an empty road at extremely high speeds while playing Dangerzone on my radio at maximum volume. I honestly do not know what I expected to happen." Asami plucked a twig out of her hair and combed her hair back while she continued to stare at the sight above her.
"C'mon Asami it's not that-" Both girls watched silently as a hubcap fell from the branches above and slowly rolled away. "Okay it is kind of bad. But hey, at least I didn't hit that squirrel."
"Korra..." Asami pinched the bridge of her nose. "When most drivers see an animal in the road, they apply their brakes, or at least try to swerve out of the way. What they don't do is EARTHBEND a ramp and launch their friend's car, THAT WAS JUST MADE IN A FACTORY YESTERDAY, by the way," she paused to mentally calculate how far the ramp was "Over 150 feet and lodge the fucker into some freaking trees. How is that even possible?!"
"Well if you factor in the angle of my ramp and the speed that we were traveling, you should be able to calculate the trajecto-"
"THAT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION YOU LIMP CABBAGE!"
"Good because I don't remember what equation you would even use to calculate something like that."
"Korra,… please stop talking." Asami pulled out her phone and began to scroll through her contacts list. "You are so lucky I pay extra for insurance that covers bending related accidents…"
"Um, Asami?"
"To be honest, I'm partially to blame for this. As a responsible adult I should have predicted something like this would happen."
"Asami?"
"There was no way I could teach you to drive in a few days. I should just quit while I'm a-"
"ASAMI!"
"WHAT?!"
Korra grabbed Asami's hand and quickly dragged her back thirty feet. Seconds later, a large crack could be heard as the branches finally gave way and Asami's car came crashing upside down on the side of the road.
Asami quietly released Korra's hand walked to the middle of road. She dropped to her knees and tipped over to her side. She hugged herself and watched silently as her brand new car burst into flames.
"Asami?"
The engineer said nothing.
"Hey buddy, why don't you get out of the road before a car comes by and runs you over?"
"That's the plan Korra."
"Now you're just being a drama queen."
"Korra, the race is tomorrow and there is no way you are good enough to drive."
"I got this."
"How can you be so optimistic?!"
"Through the power of friendship! The power of believing in yourself! The heart of the cards and all that other bullshit!"
"Did you seriously just quote Yu-Gi-Oh?"
"Shut up I'm having a moment here. You asked me to do you a favor and I'm gonna see it through." Korra helped Asami to her feet and brushed her off. "Besides I don't think it's possible to fuck up this badly in tomorrow's race. So are you in or what?"
"Fine, I'm in. Just promise me you won't do anything crazy. Don't even try to win, just focus on not crashing and finish the race so I can get some publicity and sell more cars. Think you can handle that?"
"Yeah sure. I got it completely under control."
Korra did not have it under control.
At all.
~Ladies and gentlemen the Avatar is airborne! I repeat THE AVATAR IS AIRBORNE! Just seconds into the race and the Avatar has already crashed, nearly taking the entire pit crew with her! It is ABSOLUTE CARNAGE as the firefighters rush to the scene!~
The audience gasped in surprise as Korra kicked out her window and stumbled out of the wreckage.
~What's this?! BY GOD THE AVATAR IS ON FIRE! AVATAR KORRA IS ON FIRE! IT'S HARD TO MAKE OUT WITH ALL THE SMOKE BUT I BELIEVE THE AVATAR IS TRYING TO LOCATE A SOURCE OF WATER TO DOUSE THE FLAMES! It looks like she finally found some water- OH NO! IT'S NOT WATER! IT'S- IT'S GASOLINE! AVATAR KORRA HAS JUST BENT GASOLINE ON HERSELF AND NOW THE FLAMES ARE BIGGER THAN EVER! THE FIREFIGHTERS ARE TRYING TO PUT THE FLAMES OUT BUT THE AVATAR IS IN FULL PANIC MODE! SHE IS RUNNING SO ERRATICALLY THAT THE FIREFIGHTERS ARE HAVING A DIFFICULT TIME PINNING HER DOWN WITH THEIR WATERBENDING. OH NO. OH NO! THE AVATAR IS RUNNING ACROSS THR TRACK! THE ENTIRE SITUATION HAS GONE FROM BAD TO WORSE. IF AVATAR KORRA REMAINS ON THE TRACKS SHE COULD~
The audience screamed in terror as another racer swerved to avoid the Avater and crashed into the divider separating the track from the bleachers.
~UNBELIEVEABLE! LEE ISHIKAWA, THE DRIVER SPONSORED BY CABBAGE CORP HAS JUST CRASHED TRYING TO AVOID THE AVATAR! He's climbing out and he seems to be uninjured- BUT NEVER MIND THAT! THE AVATAR IS STILL ON FIRE! Wait- is that? IT IS! REPUBLIC CITY, CEO OF FUTURE INDUSTRIES AND CLOSE FRIEND OF THE AVATAR, ASAMI SATO, IS RUNNING ACROSS THE TRACK WITH A FIRE EXTINGUISHER!~
The crowd cheered as Asami chased down Korra.
~It's hard to tell from here but it looks like Asami Sato is instructing the Avatar to stop, drop, and roll! The Avatar is still in panic mode and she is not listening to the CEO's instruct- OH MY GOODNESS! ASAMI SATO HAS JUST DROP KICKED THE AVATAR! I REPEAT, ASAMI SATO HAS DROP KICKED THE AVATAR AND IS NOW EXTINGUISHING THE FLAMES, SAVING AVATAR KORRA'S LIFE! SOMEONE GIVE THAT GIRL A MEDAL, SHE DESERVES IT!~
The audience continued to cheer as Asami sprayed Korra down with the extinguisher.
~Republic city, I have never seen such an unusual chain of events in my entire career. Everyone in the stands, I hope you got good pictures because I doubt we will ever experience such an event again…~
"Well, that was a thing… That happened." Korra lifted her arms so the healer can get to the burn on her side. Asami occupied the corner of the medical tent as she watched the healer work.
"Yeah. Good thing you were wearing that racing suit. How are you feeling?"
"Like I was just set on fire?"
"Okay, that was a dumb question." Asami smiled at her friend. "I'm glad you're alright."
"Aww, I want to hug you right now but I can't, you know, with the burns and everything." Korra lowered her arms as the healer moved to her legs. "By the way, thank you for drop kicking me in the face and saving my life."
"And thank you for failing so spectacularly that I got to be a hero who drop kicks people to save their lives. To be honest, you did a lot better than I expected."
"What?"
"I figured that the worse case scenario would be that you would crash ten seconds into the race and be eliminated. You lasted a whopping eighteen seconds before you crashed and you even took out that racer from Cabbage Corp. That's definitely a win for me."
Korra stared at her friend with wide eyes. "That's… kind of fucked up Asami."
"Hey it's not like he was hurt or anything, I just REALLY hate Cabbage Corp."
"You really need to work on your priorities Asami."
"Whatever."
AN: Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, I had a lot of fun playing around with this prompt. Just so you know. I am accepting prompts for this story. You got a funny situation you would like me to tackle, let me know on here or tumblr (stillnotgoodatthis).