Chapter Four: Wizard Harvard Community College

Thanks to laineywillis3, TkaiaWolf, roxyxkarkat (i love rare ships like that. johnxkanaya 4life), and wisdom-of-me for reviewing.

Our three heroes, Rose the witch, John the hero, and Dave the sprite, sought shelter from a powerful blizzard within the halls of Wizard Harvard Community College. Having just stepped through the large, wooden front doors, they were immediately assaulted by a dastardly welcoming committee.

"Welcome!" Waved a cheerful elf, who scurried towards them. "It is I, Chazz Limplewickle! Student body president at Wizard Harvard Community College and leader of the Hospitality Club! We don't get many visitors up here. How can I…"

"Buzz off, Nipplelicker or whatever your name is." Rose pushed through him. "We're merely looking for a reprieve from the elements. Direct us towards the food court and be off with you."

Chazz Limplewickle's large, bushy eyebrows, which are typical of elves, knitted together in confusion.

"I'm sorry, Miss, but you won't be allowed to roam these halls without a visitor's badge, and not even then without some sort of supervision. We here at Wizard Harvard Community College pride ourselves with having the safest campus this side of the lava river!"

"Also the lamest campus." Davesprite floated by John's side as he scanned the large foyer. "Where are all the babes?"

"Oh, there are no women here, Mr. Sprite." Chazz held his arms wide, as if to embrace the whole school. "Wizard Harvard Community College is a male-only academy of magic."

"Gaaaaaaaaaaaaay!" Davesprite turned towards the doors. "Come on, gang. Let's freeze to death outside."

"Wait!" John appealed to Chazz. "What my friend is trying to say is that it seems a little weird to have a school where girls aren't allowed, especially when the greatest witch ever is a girl." He turned to Davesprite next. "Also, I don't know how I feel about you using gay as a negative word, Dave."

"I'm just expressing my rights. What? Are you calling me a homophobe?" Davesprite demanded. "Where do you get off, Egbert? I'll show you. I'll kiss a dude right now!"

"That won't be necessary, Mr. Sprite." Chazz licked his lips not-so-subtly. "Although I would be lying if I didn't say I was intrigued by the idea."

"Dude, I was kidding."

"That's how it always starts, isn't it?"

Rose slapped a hand to her forehead, fed up with the pointless rigmarole.

"Shut up, all of you." She turned to Chazz. "Just give us some badges. We simply wish to wait out the storm."

"Certainly! Right this way please."

Chazz Limplewickle led our entourage of troubadours through main hall and to a small office. Inside was a desk where Chazz took a seat.

"Would you all form an orderly line here please?" Rose, John, and Dave lined up in front of the desk. Chazz smiled, happy that his orders were being followed. "What's your name, Miss?"

"Rose Lalonde."

"Alright. Where are you from, Rose, and what is your business here at Wizard Harvard Community College?"

"I've already told you half a dozen times." Rose seethed. "We're seeking shelter from the blizzard."

Chazz nodded and scribbled on a blank nametag.

"Bliiiizzzard." He muttered as he wrote. "Okay, now where are you from?"

"NoneOfYourBusiness City. It's right next to the Let'sHurryThisUp River."

"Alrighty!" Chazz finished the nametag and passed it to Rose. "Enjoy your visit to Wizard Harvard Community College!"

John stepped forward.

"John Egbert of Honey Town." He supplied with a grin. "I'm here because of the blizzard too."

"Honey Town? That sounds fake as shit."

"Well, it isn't." John was taken aback. "That's where I used to live."

"Suuure. Whatever you say." Chazz sighed and passed John his tag. "Next!"

"Davesprite." Dave floated forward and leaned over the desk. "I just came from your mother's house and I'm here to cause a ruckus."

"Alrighty! Now that everyone is settled in, we can begin the tour!" Chazz leapt up from behind his desk. "Right this way please!"

As Chazz led everyone back out into the main hall, being sure to display the academy's massive collection bronzed wands, John stepped back next to Rose.

"This place isn't so bad, other than the whole 'no girls allowed' thing." He said. "Is that why you hate this place so much?"

"I have no problems with a private enterprise catering to those whom they chose. There are other, much worse reasons to hate Wizard Harvard Community College." She answered, face grim.

"Like what?"

"Like the whole hoity-toity, vanguard, wizard-elitist propaganda that they preach here." Rose lowered her voice as Chazz explained to Davesprite the small idiosyncrasies between cauldrons of regular and extensive girth. "What do you know about Wizard Harvard Community College, John?"

"Only the stuff I've heard in the last twenty minutes."

"Well I sincerely hope that your education remains stinted. Let us dump this accursed elf and find a secluded spot to wait out the storm. The sooner we get out of here the better."

After being shown the academy's 'Fun Slide of Wizardry' and taken through the gift shop, Chazz brought our heroes to the food court. The place was packed with Wizards of all shapes and sizes, some were old, some were young, some were human, elfish, dwarfish, fishman, flyman, and there were even a few frogmen.

Chazz swept an arm over the various vendors, selling all types of wizardly goods.

"We accept gold coins and all credit cards except for Wizard Visa!"

"Aw, man." John dug through his backpack furiously. "But all I have is Wizard Visa!"

"Well then I guess you're shit out of luck!" Chazz checked his watch. "I have a meeting with the Badminton Club in ten minutes, so I'm afraid I'm going to have to scram! After you've finished with your visit, please proceed directly to the exits without dillydallying. There are numerous dangerous magical experiments going on within these wizardly…"

"Yes, yes, yes, wonderful. Come on." Taking John and Davesprite by the arm, Rose dragged them to an empty booth.

"Man, I dunno why you're so down on this place, Lalonde." Davesprite was sporting an awesome Wizard Harvard Community College T-shirt and waving around a small banner. "They seem pretty legit to me."

"Really? What seems legitimate about this place? You're a walking billboard, Davesprite, a mere model to spread yet more of their tainted gospel to the furthest reaches of Skaia." Rose glowered at a nearby table where a couple of Wizards were playing a card game. "This isn't magic. This isn't anything."

"You know what? I think you're just upset because they don't allow ladies to go here." Davesprite was now wearing one of those hats that holds two cans of mead with straws attatached that go straight in your mouth, this one, however, was covered with Wizard Harvard Community College logos. He sipped loudly. "The greatest witch ever isn't used to going somewhere where no one knows her name."

"Do you want to go back into your amulet?" Rose dangled the cursed jewelry from her finger. "Because that's a thing that can definitely happen."

Davesprite's eyes widened behind his shades. He glared at the witch.

"You wouldn't dare."

"Look, there's no reason to argue." John interjected. He was a little putout since his credit card was invalid and would therefore go without a souvenir. "It's not like we can stay here long anyways. We're still going after the Crab King of the East, right?"

"Of course. This is merely a stop along the way, a detour on our quest towards greater glory…" Rose was cut off when a full slice of Wizard Pizza landed in front of her with a wet splat. Red, pizza sauce splattered all over her robes and I'm pretty sure a little bit got in John's open mouth.

As John spluttered, Davesprite floated from his seat, searching for the source of the projectile pie.

"Yo, asshats!" He descended upon a pair of wide-eyed frogmen. "You think throwing food at people is funny? I'm a G.D. ghost, motherfucker. I'll haunt you into next year!"

"S-sorry, Mr. Sprite." One of the frogmen gurgled all grossly. "It was an accident, I swear-"

He was cut off mid-sentence when he was suddenly turned into a walnut.

"Rose!" John cried. "No! Why do you keep turning people into nuts?!"

Twirling her needles between her fingers, Rose stashed her signature weapons away once more.

"I have no tolerance for such child-play and neither should you. Now that I have demonstrated that we are not to be trifled with, we should be left alone in peace." She explained.

Suddenly, John and Rose's table was surrounded by like thirty wizards.

"This girl changed Clark in to a nut!" One said.

"Whoa, is that an actual girl?" Asked another. "I thought they were just a myth."

"Naw, man. Girls are totally real. I saw a picture of one once."

"Should we do something?"

"Like what?"

"Like I dunno. I'm pretty sure when you meet a girl for the first time you're supposed to do a dance."

"Where did you hear that griffin shit?"

"It's in the Wizard Harvard Community College Handbook."

"Hey, girl. Can I get a smooch?"

"Yeah! You should smooch us!"

"Back off Wizard Queers!" Davesprite broke through the crowd. "Jesus Orc-Christ, I know yall are all deprived Wizardly boys, but you can't flip shit whenever you're faced with a babe."

"Yeah! Do you have any idea who you're talking to?!" John demanded, glaring at the wizards. "This is the greatest witch ever, Rose…"

"Rose Lalonde." A high-pitched voice finished. The crowd parted and up swaggered a tall, sexy as hell Orc in wizardly robes. He smirked at Rose. "Long time, no see, sugar pie. How ya been?"

Rose blanched.

"H- Henry?"

"The one and only, baby." He tossed something in the air and caught it again. You know. Like cool guys do. He held up the walnut that used to be a frogman to the light, as if examining it. "I'd know your handiwork anywhere, Rose. What's a witch like you doing in this neck of the woods?"

Rose ignored his question completely. She was staring at the orc with a mixture of shock and disgust.

"I thought you were turned into a skeleton outside of the Black Garden over a year ago." She said in confusion. "What happened?"

"What do you think happened? You abandoned me in my darkest hours and left me to die." Henry gestured to himself. "However, I magic-ed and got my hot bod back. Now I'm better than ever and looking for a little revenge."

John leapt from his seat and positioned himself in front of Rose.

"I don't know who you are, Henry, or what this is about and I won't deny that you're a good looking dude either, but if you want to get through Rose, you'll have to go through us!" John looked to Davesprite."Right?"

"Hell no, man." Davesprite sipped from his double beer hat again. "You don't need my help. You've got this."

Henry laughed and tossed his hair like a totally cool dude. All the other boys got a little sweaty.

"Who's the new lapdog, Rose? He looks a little soft." He leaned around John, resting his elbow on the table. "What's the matter? Are you having trouble finding quality meat shields nowadays?"

"I'm no meat shield." Said John, stepping in front of Rose again to shield her with his meat. "I'm John Egbert, Hero of Honey Town."

"Looks to me like you're more of a John Egderp, hero of GET FUCKED!" Henry pointed at John's chest, making our hero believe that something was on his shirt. When John looked down, Henry brought his finger up and poked John right in the nose, totally owning him.

"Daaaaaaammmmmn!" All the wizards and Davesprite said, impressed with Henry's suaveness.

"Leave him alone!" Rose shrieked, jumping up from her own seat. "If its revenge you want, then you will find it with me. I challenge thee to a duel of wizardly strife!"

All the wizards and Davesprite gasped in surprise, Henry's smug smirk deepened, and John just rubbed his nose, fighting the urge to cry.

"Very well," Henry cracked his knuckles. "We'll do it right here in the food court. Loser has to snap their wands in half."

"Don't do it, Rose!" John cautioned.

"Agreed." Rose ignored John. "Since I challenged you, what are your terms?"

Henry once again examined the frogman turned walnut.

"I've got an idea. No transfiguration." He crushed the nut between his fingers. One of Clarke's friends let out a little whimper. "That's cheap shit and I know how you like to play dirty."

He wriggled his eyebrows in a suggestive manner. John's blood boiled, Rose simply rolled her eyes, and Davesprite just sipped from his beer hat again.

"Fine. No transfiguration. Is that it?"

"Nope. No hexes either, or jinxes, or curses, or deus ex machina spells."

"Psshh." Rose snorted. "Well then what kind of duel do you want? A swordfight?"

"Nope." Henry grinned. "Familiars only."

Rose's jaw dropped, Davesprite did a spit take, and John just looked confused.

"F- Familiars?" Rose repeated.

"Is that going to be a problem?" Henry's smirk was now so intense, that you could feel it.

"N-no of course it isn't." Straightening up, Rose adjusted her headband and met Henry's gaze. "You have a duel, Henry. Let us reconvene in an hour."

"See you soon, Rose." Before leaving, Henry tucked a stray lock of hair behind Rose's ear. Then he snapped and disappeared in a poof of wizard ninja smoke.

"I want to have his adopted babies." Said one wizard

"I still wanna smooch on that witch." Said another.

As the surrounding crowd began to dissipate, John turned to Rose.

"Rose, you can't fight that guy! If you lose he'll snap your wands in half!" He pleaded.

"I'll have to side with Egbert on this one." Davesprite added. "There's no way in hell that you're going to win a duel with familiars only."

"Ugh. I know." Rose sank back into the booth. "But I can't back out now. A Wizard Duel is one of the most ancient and sacred rituals performed between magical beings. If I run from a duel, I risk forfeiting my magic."

"What are you going to do?" John asked.

"I'll have to fight him." She said simply, with a shrug. "It's already been decided. I shall use this hour before the battle to prepare."

"Okay, that sounds like a plan." John offered Rose his hand and pulled her to her feet. "Let's start with the basics. What sort of spells are you going to use?"

"None. Didn't you hear Henry's stipulations? It's familiars only."

"Yeah, but what does that mean? Why is that so bad?"

"Because I'm Rose's only familiar, man." Davesprite explained with a low groan.

"Yeah, but how is that bad? You can fight. Right, Dave?"

"Hell yes, I can fight. My Bro was the greatest swordsman in all of Skaia. He taught me everything I know."

"Well that's perfect then!"

"Yeah, except for one thing." Rose added. "Davesprite has been my familiar for a total of thirteen hours. Our magical tether is about as weak as it gets. All it will take is one uber-powerful spell from Henry and we're done for."

"Oh. "

"Oh. Indeed."

John began to pace, wracking his brains for a solution to Rose's dilemma.

"You don't have any other familiars?" He asked eventually. "I mean, you're the greatest witch ever, Rose! How can you not have like a ton of magical ghost buddies?"

"Conjuration is a considered a waste of time among powerful sorcerers. It's the most trivial of arts and therefore I've neglected that skill tree in the past. I do have one other familiar though, albeit it's a bit of a stretch and should only be used for a last resort."

"Alright well, I guess you guys should practice then, huh?"

Rose turned to Davesprite, who simply shrugged in response.

"I suppose we should." Rose sighed again and motioned for Davesprite to follow her to an area clear of tables and chairs. "John, stand opposite us please."

John moved into position and faced Davesprite, who floated in front of Rose.

"Uh, what do I do now?" John asked.

"Just stand there, okay?" Rose drew her wands. "Alright, Davesprite. Are you ready?"

"Yeah, gimme a sec. I haven't done this in… absolutely ever." Davesprite clenched his fists and a magic sword materialized in his hands. "Cool."

And it was.

"Davesprite!" Rose pointed her wands at John. "Use slash!"

Before John could react, Davesprite surged forward and with a swing of his sword, decapitated John with one powerful swipe.

"OH MY GOD! NOO!"

"Rosie, I'm kidding. That was a joke."

"WELL IT ISN'T FUNNY!"

"Alright, alright, sorry." Dave coughed into his hand. "Let's see, what really happened was…"

"Oh my golden rings!" John cried as he dived out of the way.

Davesprite missed his mark and floated past John to crash into the opposite wall.

"Aw! Come on, John. You weren't supposed to move." Rose reprimanded him.

"What did you want? Was I just supposed to stand there and get killed?!"

"I wasn't gonna hurt you, man." Davesprite shook the stars from his vision and flew back to Rose. "Here let's try that again. I wanna give John's hair a little trim."

"Alright, John. Get into position."

"Hell no! There's got to be a better way to do this." Reaching into his backpack, John pulled out his cookie-tin shield. "Here, this thing's a piece of crap. Why don't you just take swings at this?"

"Hmmm." Rose eyed John's shield. It was a piece of crap. "Alright, Davesprite. Use wing attack!"

"I'm not a Pokémon. You can't just… aw, forget it."

With his mighty orange wings, Davesprite created a gale of wind that tore the shield from John's hands and flung the poor hero across the room. John landed on a conveniently placed mop bucket and was covered in dirty water. I'm pretty sure a little bit got in his open mouth too.

"Yes! Good work, Davesprite." Rose cheered. "Let's try that again. Come on, John. Get up."

"Ugh," As John pulled himself to his feet. He looked down at the spilt cleaning bucket and said: "I guess you could say that this whole situation is a right mess, huh?"

"Boo!" Davesprite jeered as he floated in front of Rose. "Less puns, more fighting!"

An hour later, Rose, Davesprite, and a bruised John stood in the center of the food court. The floor had been cleared of tables and chairs and a magical set of bleachers had been erected near the wall. The Wizard students from before began to filter in and find seats among the stands.

Even good old Chazz Limplewickle was there, wearing a 'Rose Lalonde sucks' t-shirt. Don't ask me how he got that. He just had it.

With a puff of wizard ninja smoke, Henry reappeared before Rose. He was as good looking as ever and appeared to be even more threatening with his fancy wand-staff in his hands.

"Do you hear that?" Henry cupped his ear. "That's the sound of all the crow you're about to eat."

"The only thing I'll be eating is a nice, healthy slice of pie after this is finished. Maybe I'll use the broken shards of your wand as a knife and fork?" Rose folded her arms, having considered her comeback to be not just adequate, but well superior to Henry's original jab.

It wasn't.

"Good luck, you guys." John patted Rose on the shoulder and nodded at Davesprite. "I'll be cheering for you."

"We're totally screwed." Davesprite sighed as John took a seat. "I don't suppose you feel like backing out now, do you?"

"There's no turning back, Davesprite. We've baked our cake, now it's time to eat it."

"I'm pretty sure you just made up a new figure of speech. I have mixed feelings about that."

As Davesprite positioned himself in front of Rose once more, Henry spun his staff and slammed it against the ground, summoning his own familiar. Ignoring the spectacular light show, Rose pumped up her teammate.

"If you just knock out his familiar, then we win. Don't be afraid to play dirty." She said. "You can fly, so create distance and keep out of its striking range. I don't know what Henry is going to summon, but I'm sure it can't be- MOTHER OF GOD!"

A god-damn Laser Hydra burst from the tip of Henry's staff and materialized opposite Davesprite. With a mighty roar, the hydra swung its powerful tail and crushed half of the bleachers, killing dozens of wizards.

Everyone cheered.

"Yes, yes!"

"Go, Henry!"

"Oh my goodness," A frogman fanned himself with his hand. "I think I'm in looooove."

Rose knew instantly that this battle was lost. The Laser Hydra was one of the most complex and powerful familiars in existence, while Davesprite was a just a prick of insufferable nature. After all of her glorious battles, wondrous quests, and devilish foes, Rose would be taken down by a stupid orc and his pet in a schoolyard fight.

"Come on, Rose!" John cheered from his seat. "You're the best! You're a champion! I think you're attractive!"

"What?" Rose asked, curiously

"What?!" John responded, frantically

Shaking her head, Rose turned back to the task at hand.

"Stay focused, Davesprite." She said. "We can do this."

"No we can't." Her familiar muttered in response.

"Yes. We. Can. Just remember what I said, alright?"

Davesprite swallowed with some difficulty and hefted his sword. The Laser Hydra gnashed its many heads and advanced slowly.

"Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit." Davesprite mumbled as his foe approached, seemingly taking up all the available space in the world.

"Davesprite! Use swagger!" Rose commanded.

Davesprite tried to swag it up, but missed completely. Not that it would have done much damage even if Davesprite had hit his mark. Swag attacks were not very effective against Laser Hydras.

"Tony!" Henry called to his familiar. "Use laser fangs!"

John peeked through his fingers and watched as one of the hydra's heads lunged forward, snatched up Davesprite with it's powerful laser jaws, and swung him around much like a dog does with a towel they stole from the laundry basket. Rose winced as her familiar was used and abused by the hydra.

Henry laughed, all the wizards cheered, and Chazz Limplewickle leaned over to John and tried to give him a little surprise smooch.

"Davesprite!" Rose called. "Try to break free!"

Davesprite, who was halfway into a Laser Hydra, responded with something that sounded like: "AAAAAAHH", but it was hard to tell exactly.

"Tony." Henry leaned casually on his staff. "Use seismic toss."

The Laser Hydra pulled Davesprite from its mouth and crossface chickenwing suplexed him into the ground. The floor cracked and everyone in attendance gasped at the brutal attack. When the Laser Hydra backed away, Davesprite lay in a crumpled heap at the bottom of a massive crater.

John leapt from the stands and joined Rose as she raced towards her fallen teammate.

"Davesprite." Rose knelt by his side. "Can you hear me?"

"If you give a mouse a cookie, he's going to want two cookies." Davesprite mumbled.

"I think that crossface chickenwing suplex knocked the sense right out of him." John said. He grabbed Davesprite under the arms and started dragging him away. "I'd start running if I were you, Rose. Unless your backup familiar can beat a Laser Hydra, I'd say we're shit out of luck."

Rose gritted her teeth. Henry had already called her out, insulted John, and beaten Davesprite. He was not going to let him snap her wands in half.

"Clear the floor, John." Rose said, getting to her feet. "I'm not finished yet."

As Rose climbed from the crater and faced Henry once more, all of the wizards in the stands cheered. This had been the most exciting day at Wizard Harvard Community College in years! Not only had a girl shown up from nowhere, but they were seeing a totally radical battle unfold right before their eyes!

Henry flipped his hair again like a cool dude.

"Give it up, Rose." He sneered. "There's no way you'll win."

Gripping her wands tightly, Rose took a deep breath and summoned her last ditch familiar. A flash of light blinded all the observers momentarily. When they could see properly once more, everyone gasped at what Rose had summoned.

"Meow." Said Jaspers, Rose's kitten familiar.

"BA HAHAHA!" Henry cackled. "Are you joshin me right now, babe? Is that really all the greatest witch ever could muster?!"

"God-Daaaammmmn." Chazz Limplewickle commented. "That has got to be the cutest kitten I ever did see."

John, who had an unconscious Davesprite slumped against his side, turned to Chazz.

"I think you mean the most 'badass' kitten, right?" He corrected hopefully.

"Nope. That thing's cuter than a newborn baby wrapped up in a sugary, frosted crepe with strawberry glaze."

"Mmmmm." Davesprite hummed against John's shoulder. "Delicious baby."

On the battlefield, Rose regarded her old familiar, Jaspers. She'd first conjured him over thirteen years ago when she was just a little wizard girl. Now, in the face of a great opponent, she'd have to depend on her old pet to defend her honor.

"Get ready, Jaspers." Rose said. "I'm a hundred percent certain that you're about to get ripped to shreds, but just do your best anyways, okay?"

"Meow." Replied Jaspers.

"Tony!" Henry twirled his staff and pointed it at Jaspers. "Use slam!"

The Laser Hydra roared and raised its massive, clawed foot. As it prepared its most powerful attack, the Laser Hydra sang these ancient, magical words:

Slam, duuh duuh duuh, duuh duuh duuh, let the boys be boys,
Slam, duuh duuh duuh, duuh duuh duuh, let boys be boys!

A split second before he was completely obliterated, Jaspers let out a tiny 'mew!' and pounced. He flew upwards, past the hydra's powerful leg, and punched through the beast's chest in a shower of blood. After a second of silence, Jaspers erupted from the Laser Hydra's back and landed comfortably in Rose's arms, with the Laser Hydra's still-beating heart clutched in its tiny, kitten mouth.

All was silent, as the Laser Hydra stumbled once and fell to the ground, dead.

Everyone lost their shit.

"NOOOO!" Henry cried, falling to his knees.

All of the wizards, who had seen the miraculous display, ran forward and lifted Rose onto their shoulders, chanting over and over again:

"Rose! Rose! Rose!"

Through the jumping, shouting, and pumping crowd, John pushed his way through to his friend and called up to her.

"You did it, Rose! That was so awesome! You really are the greatest witch ever! We should make-out!"

"What?!" Rose shouted back.

"What?! Nothing! I didn't say anything!"

After the crowd had settled down slightly, Rose disentangled herself from the horde and approached Henry.

"Your wand please." She said with a smirk, holding out her hand.

Henry began to sob.

"Oh, come on, baby. You know I was just playin, right?" He pleaded.

"Suck a hundred demon dicks in hell, asshole." Passing the bloody Jaspers off to an unwilling John, Rose snatched Henry's staff from the ground and snapped it over her knee with a sharp crack!

"NOOOOooooo!" Henry cried again.

As he wept, something horrible happened. His skin began to melt before their very eyes. Henry screamed in pain as his glorious good looks gave way to a gross-ass skeleton. Squeezing his eyes shut, John turned away so as not to look at Henry's now disgusting, bony mug.

"I'm a skeleton again!" Henry sobbed. "Why is fate so cruel!?"

And with that, he ran from the hall, all the way out of Wizard Harvard Community College and was never seen again.

Tossing the broken pieces of Henry's staff to the ground, Rose turned back to John.

"Thanks for believing in me, John." She said with a smile. "You're a good friend."

"Aw, don't mention it." John blushed. "Who knew that your little, kitten familiar was such a badass?"

"Not me, that's for sure." Rose gently scratched behind Jaspers' ears as he snoozed against John's chest. "However, I think it's safe to say we definitely avoided a cat-astrope on this one."

Then the two heroes laughed, high off of Rose's victory, appreciative of horrible puns, and grateful of the other's presence.

If you want to know what a Laser Hydra looks like, imagine a regular Hydra, and then add lasers.

Thanks for reading.

- Mike