Chapter Six: The Crab King of the East
Thanks to HomestuckWhovianNightFury, TkaiaWolf, and wisdom-of-me for reviewing.
With our totally rad party now consisting of Rose the witch, Dave the sprite, Jade the monster hunter, and John it was time for the Crab King of the East to finally meet his maker.
Apparently, the Crab King had once been a normal man, but was turned into an evil monster by a dark wizard. Out of horror at what he had become, the Crab King had retreated to the East Sea to reside somewhere along the rocky shore, where his only faithful companions were the crabs that lived there. He spent his days terrifying coastal towns and snatching up those foolish enough to stray too close to his lair.
It was unknown how he came to join the Four Evil Mages, but Rose wasn't much concerned with his origin story. At least, not as much as she was concerned with his termination story.
Basically, she was going to kick some crustaceous ass!
"So what do you know about the Crab King of the East, Rose?"
Our group of heroes was traversing the Wizard Mountain Range, descending the final rocky hills and approaching the shore of the East Sea. When John's question was poised, Rose looked up from her map to regard him.
"I know that he's an evil mage, that he possesses one of the Keys of Fate, and that he must be vanquished before I continue on my quest." She answered. "That is all the knowledge I require."
"Don't you think it'd be a good idea to have some sort of plan of attack though?" John pressed on. "I mean, what if he's really dangerous?"
"He's the king of crabs, John. How dangerous do you think he can be?"
"I have a question." Jade Harley, the newest addition to the group, spoke up. "Is the Crab King half man-half crab? Or is he like a full crab?"
"We had this same discussion about the Bee Lord." Dave responds, as he floats by her side. "John thinks the Bee Lord is a man-sized bee, which sounds pretty fucked up if you ask me."
"The Bee Lord, huh?" Jade mused. "I heard that he can turn into a giant tit, so I call him Boob Lord."
Dave's eyes widened. Although he'd only known Jade for a short time, he could already tell that this girl was the one. As in, the one he definitely wanted to slap a ring on and totally not fool around with twenty-four seven. If you know what I mean. (wink)
I'm talking about sex.
Rose's scowl probably could have made a baby cry from a mile away. She turned back to her assembled crew, hands on her hips.
"Would you please refrain from imitating a pair of rambunctious school children?" She scolded. "This is kind of the biggest quest in my witch-ly career and I would hope that you'd treat it with the same seriousness which it deserves."
"Aw come on, Lalonde." Davesprite waved her off. "We're not ruining your quest by joking around."
"Yeah!" Added Jade. "Besides, what's a good quest without a little fun?"
"Questing is not supposed to be fun." Rose glowered. "We're about to walk headfirst into the lair of one of the most powerful and evil mages in the land and you're talking about breasts! I'm trying to leave behind a legacy here, guys."
"Don't worry, Rose." John patted his friend on the shoulder. "The history books will clean it up."
Still grumbling about the potential tarnishing of her greatest quest, Rose continued to lead the way down the Wizard Mountains, with her team in tow.
"Soooo." John turned to Jade and asked curiously. "What was it like living in the Sun Clan?"
"Oh. It was… alright." She answered hesitantly. "I mean, everyone was really nice! They just… could be a little silly sometimes."
"You mean 'stupid' right?" Davesprite offered.
"Well, yeah. Maybe a bit." Jade scratched her nose. "Ever since I was a little girl, I just wanted to get off that island and explore the mainland. Now, thanks to you guys, I've got my chance!" She grinned at her new friends. "So why are you two traveling with Rose?"
"I'm magically bound to her." Davesprite answered, a little glumly. "She accidentally released me from a cursed amulet and now I have to do whatever she says."
Rose let out a loud cough that sounded like 'as if' but it was hard to tell exactly.
"I'm traveling with Rose because…" John trailed off. He wasn't about to blurt out the real reason he followed the witch around like a lost puppy dog. "Because we're best buds! Right, uh, buddy?"
John nudged Rose in the ribs with his elbow and she couldn't fight the small smile that tugged at her lips. As friends went, John wasn't a bad one to have. He was understanding, funny, a little clueless, honest to a fault, but still a really solid dude. Compared to former companions like Henry and other's like Davesprite, Rose could do a lot worse. That was for sure.
"Well that's great! It's so awesome to find a nice group of friends." Jade grinned. "Growing up on an island of weird, sun-worshipping dummies, I never really had any real friends."
"I can relate to that." John slung an arm around her shoulder. "But we're friends now and that's all the matters in my eyes."
"Great!"
At that moment, Jade's stomach let out the mightiest growl Rose, John, and Davesprite ever did hear. Embarrassed, Harley wrapped her arms around her middle.
"Sorry." She muttered. "I guess it's been a while since I had something to eat. You guys wouldn't happen to…"
"Yeah we've got food for days." Davesprite floated over to John's backpack and began rifling around inside. "We hit up Wizard Harvard Community College before we bumped into you. So we got hella supplies to spare."
"Nice! What do you have?"
"Well," Davesprite pulled out different food as he spoke. "We got some berries, a little bit of frozen Wizard Pizza, one of these little, green, tree-looking things. Uh, what did you call it, John?"
"Broccoli."
"Yeah, that. Also we got some beaver jerky." Davesprite pulled out a thick slice of succulent beaver jerky and was thoroughly surprised when Jade ripped it from his fingers.
She began to ravenously tear at the meat with her teeth, growling and snarling and just ripping the poor, already dead animal, to shreds. Everyone else just stood there and watched with varying levels of horror as Jade went to town on her snack. Approximately five seconds later, she finished and wiped her mouth on the back of her hand.
"Is that all the jerky?" She asked, eyes shimmering.
"Uh, yeah. Are you still hungry?"
"Yup!"
"Well, we're out of meat." Davesprite pulled out the broccoli. "But we got this little tree thing that no one wants to eat."
"Aw." Jade's face fell. "Sorry, but I don't eat vegetables. Thanks for the meat though!"
"Uh, sure. Anytime."
Rose suddenly snatched John by the collar and dragged him away from the rest of the group.
"Does something seem off to you about our new companion, John?" Rose asked once Davesprite and Jade were out of earshot.
"Not really." He shrugged. "She seems really nice."
"Try to look past the smiling face and the shiny hair," Rose grabbed John by the shoulders and forced him to look over towards Jade. "Examine her closely and tell me what you see."
"Rose, I don't…"
"Shhhhh. Don't talk. Just look."
Rolling his eyes, John examined his new friend. Jade looked like a normal girl to him. Tan skin, long, dark hair, white teeth that flashed in the mid-morning sun. He supposed that she was a little more muscular than most girls, taller too. She towered over Rose and Davesprite had to float half a foot off the ground to look her in the eyes. That wasn't anything too strange though and other than that, John had no idea what Rose was trying to show him.
The witch apparently sensed this.
"Her canines are extremely sharp, she only eats meat, she used to live with the members of the Sun Clan who worshiped the sun and feared the moon, and she mentions 'how nice we are' almost ever thirty seconds. John, use your deductive reasoning to figure out what I'm trying to insinuate."
"You think she's… a lonely carnivore who has nice teeth?"
"No." Rose sighed. "I don't think she's a lonely carnivore with nice teeth. I think she's a…"
"Hey! What the hell are you weirdo's doing? I thought we were going to fight a Crab King?" Davesprite called to them.
If anything was going to get Rose to forget about Jade's inherently bizarre features, it was a reminder of her ultimate quest. Instantly, she dropped the topic of Jade and pulled John back to the rest of the group.
"Of course. You're right." She said. "Let us press on. I'd like to reach his lair before nightfall."
And so the group walked, all the way towards the ocean and along the coast towards where the Crab King was rumored to be hiding out. Thinking back to John's earlier words, Rose occupied herself by running through different attack strategies that she could use to defeat her foe.
The deus ex machina spell always worked pretty well, although it was sort of a cheap cop out that should only be used for dire situations. Summoning her kitten familiar, Jaspers, was also an option. From the duel at Wizard Harvard Community College, Rose had learned that there was more to the cuddly spirit than met the eye and that summoning him, was quite possibly an intelligent course of action.
"It smells like a storm is coming." Jade Harley suddenly said, as she sniffed the air. "We should hurry up if we don't want to get caught in the rain."
Rose's paranoia was once again piqued. She raised a delicately curved eyebrow.
"That's quite a nose you have there, Jade." She said evenly. "Any other hidden talents you feel like sharing?"
Jade thought for a second.
"I can do this!" She then proceeded to stuff her whole fist into her mouth.
John laughed, Dave stared in awe, and Rose simply rolled her eyes.
"Not what I had in mind, but interesting nonetheless." The witch shook her head. "Very well then. If a storm is inbound, then I do suggest we pick up the pace."
The group continued to walk and, sure enough, dark storm clouds began to appear over the ocean waves, quickly approaching the shoreline and the heroes trekking across it. Consulting her map once more, Rose measured the distance from their approximate location to where a large 'x' labeled the lair of the Crab King.
"Hold on." She said, bringing everyone to a stop. "According to this map, we should be right above…"
The words were torn from her lips as the ground beneath the group's feet gave way and sent our heroes tumbling down into the earth. Rose, John, and Jade crashed into each other and slammed into the hard floor of the underground cave in a heap of tangled limbs and disgruntled curses. Davesprite screamed in terror, until he remembered he could fly, and then floated down safely to join the group.
"Way to walk us right into a trap, Lalonde." He snarked, folding his arms. "It's reasons such as this that make you the undisputed leader."
"Shove it." Rose snapped back, shoving John's legs off of her chest. "Is everyone else alright?"
"I'm fine." Jade answered.
"I think I'm okay." Agreed John.
"Good." Rose examined their surroundings. They had fallen unwittingly into an underground cave.
Rose was really, really tired of caves, nothing good every happened in a cave. The walls and ceiling were smooth, as if they'd been cut by some giant blade, and numerous skeletal corpses littered the ground around them.
"What is this place?" John asked as he helped Rose to her feet.
"If I had to guess," Rose drew her wands. "I'd say that we've just found the lair of the Crab King."
"Well that was easy!" Piped Jade. "I was worried we'd have to fight our way into some super-fortified fortress or something."
"This is most likely an outer branch to a much larger system of catacombs." Rose explained. "No doubt the inner sanctum is more heavily fortified." She stooped to examine one of the many skeletons. "Also I doubt our collective weight alone would be enough to cave in the roof like that. This is most likely a sand trap used by the Crab King to catch unlucky souls."
"Then we should probably get out of here, right? Like, as soon as motherfucking possible." Davesprite's encounter with the Laser Hydra back in chapter four had left him with a slight phobia of being eaten, or phagophobia if you wanna be one of those smart-guys.
"Yeah," Agreed John. "Let's go find this Crab King, ruin his day, and get the hell out of here. I'm really sick and tired of caves."
"Get used to it, John." Jade advised as Rose began leading the way deeper underground. "When you start questing in Skaia, you're bound to explore more than a few caves. That's where all the best loot is!"
Rose's ears pricked up at the mention of sweet dungeon loot. She was an avid collector of rare, mysterious, and interesting trinkets. So much so, that more than once she went out of her way to raid dungeons just for the slight chance that she might find something cool. Rose's eye for treasure would get her into trouble, as she was sort of a borderline kleptomaniac.
However, that's a story for another time.
Presently, the group was following the path of the cave further and further, towards what seemed to be yet more, never-ending tunnel.
"We're definitely going the right way." Jade assured them as she sniffed the air. "This place reeks of moldy crab-juice."
Rose wrinkled her nose, despite her inability to pick up the scent. Although her suspicions about Jade only continued to grow with every word that came from the girl's mouth, she was determined to keep the issue shelved for the time being. At least until they were back on the surface and with one of the Keys of Fate in her satchel.
Rounding a bend in the tunnel, the group suddenly found themselves faced with a large, cavernous room. The ceiling stretched up and out of view, giving Rose the impression that they were now very deep underground. The parts of the cavern that she could see were illuminated by these slimy-looking globs that hung off the wall, emitting a soft, blue glow.
From Rose's current position, a set of stone steps led down to a wide, flat floor. In the very center, sat the Crab King of the East himself, upon a throne composed entirely out of human bones. He was grey-skinned and clothed in dark robes. His eyes were a bright yellow, and two nubby candy-corn colored horns sat in his mess of unruly hair.
He was really gross-looking, although his humanoid features gave merit to the myth that he was once a normal human. He looked up and noticed the newcomers.
"Aw, fuck." He growled, lowering his copy of Skaia Today, a weekly periodical that held all the celebrity romance gossip you could handle. And some you probably couldn't. "How the hell did you guys get in here?"
"We fell into your sand trap." John explained.
Rose punched him in the shoulder to silence him.
"Sand trap?" The Crab King repeated. "I don't have a sand trap. Are you talking about that hole in my roof? Shit. I need to get that fixed."
"Silence, evil mage!" Rose shouted, drawing her wands. "I've come to end your reign of terror and claim your Key of Fate!"
The Crab King sighed and rested his chin on his elbow.
"If I had a gold piece for every stupid motherfucker who came down here, looking to 'end my reign of terror,"He made air-quotes with his fingers. "Then I'd be one of those rich, pompous assholes who lives up in the Emerald City, instead of in this crappy cave home."
"Yeah, dude. I wasn't going to say anything, but this cave home is really shitty." Davesprite commented, as he examined the nearest wall. "Like, I bet you don't even have any cool stalagmites or anything."
"Hey, man. Screw you. I got plenty of cool stalagmites." The Crab King pointed towards his left. "See that one. If you squint a bit, it sort of looks like a ballpoint banana."
"Oh wow. It totally does…"
"Shut up!" Rose shrieked. She pointed one of her wands at the Crab King. "You will not hinder our progress for second longer. I challenge you to a duel of wizardly strife!"
"Pass." Said the Crab King as he returned to his magazine.
You could almost see the smoke billow from Rose's ears as she clenched her fists in frustration. She took a step forward, ready to attack the mage, but was stopped by John's hand on her arm.
"Just hold on a second." He said, and then looked back to the Crab King. "Uh, excuse me. Mr. Crab King sir?"
"Jegus. You're still here? What the fuck do you want?!" The King bellowed.
"Maybe," John scuffed his boot in the dirt. "Maybe, you could just… give us your Key of Fate, so we could be on our way?"
"No." The Crab King shook his head. "You can't have my key."
"Well, why not?"
"Because I said so, now get out of here before I lose my temper." No sooner were the words out of his mouth, then a spell flew through the air and struck his magazine, burning it to ash in his very hands. He looked up to see Rose glaring and holding her wand at the ready. "BITCH, DID YOU REALLY JUST DO THAT?!"
"Yeah," Rose buffed her nails on her cloak. "What are you going to do about it, crabby?"
Teeth gnashing furiously, the Crab King rose from his throne and clapped his hands once, twice, three times. Rose, John, Dave, and Jade simply watched as the King clapped a total of five times, only to sit back in his chair once more.
"Uh…" Jade turned to Rose. "Did I miss something?"
Rose shrugged. She was just as puzzled by the Crab King's actions as everyone else. That was, until about a million fucking Crabmen began climbing out of holes in the walls and dropping the floor, with various weapons clutched in their clawed fists.
"Crab minions." The Crab King commanded. "Slay these idiotic interlopers and bring their heads to me, so that I may use their skulls as soup bowls."
"You got it, boss!" Cried one Crabman. "Come on, boys. Let's show these pricks what we do to those who try to rid the world of darkness!"
Together, the Crabmen began the assault on our heroes.
Crabmen are just regular crabs that have been transformed into evil warriors. Their bodies are covered with natural, shell armor and their eyes are supported on long stalks which protrude from their heads. All in all, they're sort of silly-looking, but I guess it doesn't really matter how you look when you're wielding a sword and trying to decapitate someone.
The battle began with a flurry of light and sound
Rose twirled her wands and fired bomb spells into the crowd of Crabmen, blowing them away with each flick of her wrist. A grin, the first in a long time, curled her lips as a fire sprung to life in her eyes, the type of fire that only comes with the heat of battle.
Dave summoned his ghostly sword and began hacking away at the Crabmen. He used his natural, sprite abilities to float out of harm's and his powerful bird wings to bowl over his foes with gusts of wind.
Jade was using her crossbow to fire bolts into her enemies with pinpoint accuracy. She shot eyes, fingers, noses, ears, and even the tip of dick off one with her deadly weapon. A natural-born hunter and marksman, Jade ripped through the Crabmen with practiced ease.
Lastly, John pulled out his signature shield and did his best to defend himself and his friends from any oncoming attacks. He blocked a swipe from a sword and his shield instantly bent in half.
"Are you being serious right now?" Asked one Crabman. "I mean, really. That shield looks like a cookie sheet to me."
"Well, maybe it is." John replied, a little defensively. "It still gets the job done."
"Yeah, but are you really satisfied with just 'getting the job done'? That's borderline complacency in my mind."
"What's wrong with being satisfied with what you have?"
"Nothing. That's not what I'm trying to say." The Crabman shook his head. "Look, if you're living your life the way you want to live it, if you're happy with the cards you've been dealt, then good on you, man. You're successful in my eyes. But honestly, do you feel like this is the best you can do?"
"Oh, geez. I don't know." John rubbed the back of his neck. "I would like to be a great hero, I guess. It's just that I haven't really gotten around to finding any good gear or doing something truly heroic."
"If you wanna do something with your life, then you gotta set real, realistic goals that are attainable. If you wanna be a hero, like a legit hero, then you can do it if you just set your mind to it. Don't blame stuff like crappy gear or a low number of opportunities." The Crabman reached out and pressed his hand to John's chest. "The true secret to being 'great' lies within."
"So basically you're saying that I shouldn't settle for being a second class hero, that I should set goals for myself and systematically work my way through them?" John watched the Crabman nod his head in confirmation. Then he continued. "And that the key for finding the purpose for myself lies within my heart?"
"I couldn't have said it better myself."
"Wow." John smiled at the Crabman. "Thanks a lot! So does this mean we're friends now?"
"Psshh. What? Hell no. I'm totally still going to kill you."
"Are you fucking kidding me?!" John threw his hands in the air. "God, you're an asshole!"
"I'm an asshole? Bitch, I just got very real with you." The Crabman raised his sword. "Now, take your lumps."
John closed his eyes as the Crabman's sword descended towards him. In a second, he would surely be beheaded and turned into a soup bowl for the King of Crabs, which when you really think about it, is really disrespectful and sad.
From across the cavern, Jade watched in horror as the Crabman lunged towards John. She was too far away to run to his aid and it would take too long to reload her crossbow for another shot. However, Jade was not about to lose her friend so soon after meeting him.
Taking a deep breath, Jade closed her eyes and concentrated. Time seemed to slow down as she transformed. Black hair sprouted from all over her body, tall ears sprung up from her mane of dark hair and a wagging tail grew from her spine. As her nails grew into sharp claws, everyone froze, struck dumb by her sudden transformation.
"Jade Harley the Weredog, motherfuckers!" She howled and then leapt towards John, swiping away his attacker with one mighty slash.
All the Crabmen screamed in terror as Jade proceeded to rip dozens of them to shreds. She snapped with her glistening fangs, scratched with her razor-sharp claws, and beat all the rest to a bloody, crabby pulp. Davesprite watched in awe as she picked up one Crabman and ripped him in half over her head, showering the ground with crab blood.
"I'm not into furries." He said. "But somehow… I'm more attracted to her than ever."
Rose ignored him and set her sights on the Crab King, who was hopelessly trying to piece together the burnt pages of his magazine.
"Ah! Fucking piece of shit!" He cried and tossed the pieces away. "Now I'll never know what Rachel and Mark's wedding theme will be!"
"I believe you have bigger problems than that, fiend!" Cried Rose as she approached. "You're army is being busted-up as we speak. Face me now, or else concede defeat."
"Gog! You're still here?!" The Crab King roared. "I thought I told you to get out like five minutes ago! Now you'll pay, you stupid witch!"
Leaping up from his throne, the Crab King produced a pair of wickedly-curved scythes and began swinging them around. Rose gripped her wants tightly and leapt towards him.
The pair clashed in shower of sparks and proceeded to trade spell after spell in quick succession. Rose fired a transmogrification spell, which would have surely ended the fight quickly, but was blocked by a swipe of the Crab King's scythe. He responded with a dastardly fire spell that singed Rose's bangs, but failed to harm her otherwise, as she danced out of the way.
Meanwhile, Jade was doing parkour around the room and beating up Crabmen hardcore ultimate style, whilst John and Davesprite stood back to back and used some rock n rollin' teamwork to create an unstoppable killing team. It was a bloodbath, a horrible display of murder, silhouetted by the flashes of magical light from the fierce wizard battle waging between Rose and the Crab King.
This went on for like two hours.
Finally, the last Crabman fell with a swipe of Jade's claws. John leaned against the wall, breathing heavily. The floor was littered with corpses the walls were smeared with gross crab blood. He himself was covered with nasty bruises, cuts, and even a small burn from where one Crabman had tagged him with the end of a lit cigarette.
That particular Crabman was a real dick.
Anyways, as he caught his breath, he looked across the room to see Rose and the Crab King still dueling it out. The Crab King was shooting fireballs from his hands, while Rose crouched behind his bone throne for cover.
"Face me, you cold piece of rotted fuck!" He roared as he cast spell after spell. "You wanted to fight, so fight!"
Rose poked her head out from behind his throne.
"Be careful what you wish for, King of Crabs." She taunted. "You might not be so happy with the outcome."
"Just shut up and duel!"
Leaping out from behind her protection, Rose performed a perfect spinning back flip and kicked the scythes from the Crab King's hands, disarming him. He stumbled backwards and tried to cast a shield charm on himself, but it was too late. Rose fired a spell that hit him right in the gut and knocked him flat on his ass.
"So much for being a powerful, evil mage." She advanced, wand poised to deal a killing blow. "I'll be sure to tell the Dragon Mistress how easily you fell to my wands."
At the mention of the Dragon Mistress, the Crab King's lip raised in a feral snarl.
"You think you're so tough, Rose Lalonde." He sneered. "But you'll never make it to the Dragon Mistress alive. Hell, I bet you won't even get pass the Vampire Queen. The only reason you won here today, is because- OH GOD MY FACE!"
Rose suddenly blasted him directly in the nose with a swift spell, which caused his entire head to explode like a hot dog in the microwave. Disgusting crab brains flew everywhere and I'm pretty sure a little bit got in John's open mouth. Screaming, black spirits rose from the Crab King's corpses and ascended up into the ceiling to go who knows where.
With his head gone and his dark magic vanquished, the Crab King crumbled into dust, leaving in his place a small, glittering, bronze key.
Rose picked it up.
"The only reason I won here today," She said, pocketing her first Key of Fate. "Is because I'm the greatest witch who ever lived and that's all there really is to say on the matter."
"Oh yeah. It's not like we helped at all or anything." Davesprite said, as he, John, and Jade made their way to her side.
"Well, of course I couldn't have done it without you guys. I was just saying," Rose nodded towards the pile of dust that used to be the Crab King. "That's why I beat him specifically. I mean, you guys could have probably…"
John silenced her a pat on the arm.
"I think we get it, Rose." He said with a smile. "Congratulations on defeating the Crab King of the East."
"That was a whole lot easier than I thought it would be!" Jade commented, as she slowly transformed back into her normal self. "I mean, this place looks really spooky and those Crabmen looked really tough."
"I suppose looks can be deceiving." Rose commented, eyeing Jade. "Isn't that right, Jade Harley the Weredog?"
Jade rubbed her exposed arms a little self consciously.
"I suppose I should have told you guys… about me." She muttered. "I honestly planned on it, but the time just never seemed right. I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry." John gestured around the room. "That was the coolest thing I've seen in, like, ever!"
"So you guys aren't scared of me or anything?" Jade asked, wide eyed.
"Scared, no. I wouldn't say that." Rose folded her arms. "Unlike Werewolves, Weredogs are typically much better company, since they have the ability to control their transformations, of course."
"Basically what Rose is trying to say, is that you're an awesome chick with superpowers who should really be on this team with us." Davesprite said. "If you still wanna come."
Jade's eyes lit up.
"Of course I want to come! Do you think I'm going to tap out after one major battle with you guys? As if!" She grabbed the whole assembled crew and crushed them to her chest in a might bear hug, or dog hug if you wanna be like that. "You're the only bunch not to run for the hills after they get a glimpse at my furry side!"
"Well everyone's strange in their own little way." John's voice was muffled as his face was smushed against Jade's shoulder. "Isn't that right, Rose?"
The witch did not comment, as she was currently doing a good impression of a stiff piece of drift wood. Tenderly being embraced by not one, but three different people was not how she liked to celebrate small victories such as this.
By the time the group excited the lair of the Crab King of the East, the sun was beginning to set. The storm that had been brewing previously had washed over. Now orange rays of light shimmered off the waves of the East Sea and painted the surrounding landscape a soft, gold color. Standing together on the beach, John turned to Rose.
"So," He began. "That wasn't so bad, was it? That's one evil mage down and three to go. You're blazing through this quest, no problem."
"Yes, it has been a walk in the park up to this point, no doubt." Rose responded. "But although I consider the Crab King's words to be mostly false, I fear that he may have some merit. I doubt we'll reach the end of our journey completely unscathed."
"Well as long as we work together," John nodded over to where Davesprite and Jade were talking and laughing in the low tide. "Then I bet we can accomplish anything. Don't be so negative, Rose. What's the worst that could happen?"
Considering his question to be rhetorical, John gave Rose one last smile and then trotted off to join his friends on the beach. Rose stared at his back as he retreated.
"Oh, John." She sighed. "You have no idea."
For the first time in a while, Rosie waited until her father was completely finished before speaking.
"So that's it, huh?" She asked. "Man, that Crab King was sort of a chump."
"Well what do you expect? The first boss is never much of a challenge." Dave heaved a mighty yawn. "The second one though, well, let's just say that that's a story I'm looking forward to getting to."
"Awesome." Rosie couldn't help the bubble of excitement that grew in her chest at the thought that this story was only just beginning. "So anyways, that's how you found out mom was a Weredog?"
"Yup. Pretty awesome, right?"
"You didn't freak out or anything?"
"Nope. I kept my cool a hundred percent of the time. Don't get me wrong, the challenges of dating a half woman-half beast hybrid are more than enough to fill an entire book, a book that would undoubtedly be a best seller and would catapult me into the realms of stardom. However, I don't feel like getting into that now." Dave rose from his chair. "This seems like a good place to stop for me."
"Alright, fine." Rosie leaned back on her pillows. "One quick question though. Does Uncle John ever learn to close his damn mouth? I mean, gross stuff is always getting in there, you'd think he'd be poisoned by now."
"He has small nasal passages, breathing just through his nose is hard, and you know what? I don't have time to explain this." Dave made his way towards the door, extinguishing the torch on his way out. "Next time we go visit, you can ask him yourself. In the meantime, go to sleep. You've got Wizard School tomorrow."
Rolling her eyes, Rosie rolled onto her side and drifted off to sleep. She dreamt of sprites and Weredogs, brave heroes and evil mages, and of the greatest damn witch the world had ever known.
END OF PART ONE.
I'm wrapping up season two of this as we speak, but I won't start posting the next chapters until I'm completely done! I don't know when the next chapter will be up, but let's shoot for next week. Who knows? Probably sooner.
Thanks for reading.
- Mike