Break's crazy thoughts.

Morning entry:

Dear diarrhoea,

Have just woken up from having very strange dream. It resolved around Alice chasing me through a wood that smelled like fish and garlic (at least there were no vampires. (That would've been too mainstream for my swag to handle) brandishing what looked that a baseball bat with nuts glued to it (How the hell did she find out about my nut allergy? Creepy stalker! Everyone just wants to rape me these days...)

Anyways, then for some reason we switched and I was chasing her. Then she turned around and started making pedo faces at me. I looked down and saw that I was butt naked! The pervert!

Though seeing as Alice is a girl wouldn't that mean that I have to change it into a female word or some grammatical shit like that? Maybe perverta? Pervertina? Pervertiniainateia?

Which reminds me, always wanted to know what the plural of penis was. Peni maybe?

I'll just have to ask a English teacher. Wonder if there are any schools around here?

Regardless, now what happened with the do-NOW THAT'S NICE!

Morning Entry no.2

Sorry about that rather vulgar outburst. Emily told me to stop writing in my diary like a little girl and to stop thinking about sex.

Rude creature.

Regardless, what happened with the dolls yesterday was OH MY DEAR LORD! IS THAT A LOLLIPOP I SMELL!

Oh.

no?

*sob*

Anyway. What happened was that the eye patch doll yelled at the others in doll language (try to imagine gargling with mouthwash using your nose) and then he turned to me and, polite person I am, I asked him if he had any lollies. He then slapped me across the face. Abuse of Human rights! I almost called the ploice but then I remebered that telephones haven't been invented yet.

Now, I don't know what his problem was but for some reason he got pro[er mad at me and chucked me in a room.

Apparently, I said all that shit about calling the police out loud.

Now he said that he was going to have a private chat with me in my room about my behaviour and personnaly I think that just sounds wrong.

Like, really, really wrong.

I mean the wrong sort of wrong.

Emily is telling me to stop thinking about sex again.

Tea time entry:

Helloo there you charming little wotsit and wtf just happened then.

Anyways, so the doll guy came and started lecturing me in Engrish (That's actually how he pronounced it) and said that if I drop my bad behaviour he may consider taking me with him.

Then I was like, "WTF."

And then he slapped me, again.

So anyway, where was I?

Oh yeah, the creepy doll guy.

He told me that now that the chain B-rabbit (Alice) had returned, many people were looking for her to either harm her or torture her into telling them a way to get out of abyss. I know, how ABYSSmal of them.

That was one of my less successful jokes.

But admit it, that was punny.

Emily is not amused.

Now back to the conversation, the doll guy told me that he wanted to get to Alice before an of the others did, because apparently he owed her and he needs to repay her.

He was very tight lipped about the whole thing though.

So he said that he may need me to help him win fights and shit (also if things get messy he said that hopefully I will be able to keep them busy for a few minutes).

I asked him if there will be lollies and he slapped me.

I think he has a problem with sugar.

Now what was I going on about, oh yeah, right, the Alice business.

Apparently we'll leave tomorrow and he left his two nephews in charge of his shop. I know, he owns a shop now. Apparently.

It doesn't sell lollies tho. I asked and guess how that ended.

So I think I should stop writing now because my hand is getting proper tired now.

Also, Emily is threatening to piss all over my 'little girl book' if I don stop writing now.