Chapter Sixteen: The Battle at Owl Bay: Part Two
Thanks to TheWingedHourglass and justifyingReality413 for reviewing.
John jogged through the streets of the Fuchsia Kingdom, looking through the various vendors and shops for his missing friends. Rose, who was accustomed to doing things on her lonesome, had trusted him with this very important mission and he wasn't about to let her down.
He looked in Burlington Cloak Factory, Wizard Costco, and even in Dragonco (where the dragons go), but could not see head nor ghostly tail of any of his friends. He was starting to get a little flustered until he noticed a very raucous commotion taking place outside of a large tavern.
A large crowd had formed outside and John pushed his way through the throng of people to get a good look at all the fuss.
"We don't serve their kind here!" A gross-ass goblin brandished an axe at Davesprite, Janesprite, and Jade. "Can't you read the signs? No sprites, ghosts, ghouls, werebeavers, or goblins allowed!"
"How can you have a sign that forbids goblins when you're a goblin yourself!?" Jade barked in response. Back in the day, Jade was known to pick a fight or two over social issues, especially where he friends were concerned. "You're just a mean old hypocrite!"
"Mean old hypocrite?!" The goblin repeated, enraged. "I'll show you a hypocrite, you dirty Weredog!"
He lunged forward and swung his axe at Jade's head. She ducked his swing easily and responded with a roundhouse kick to the face that shattered his nose bone or whatever you call it into a billion pieces. A shard of his skull severed a lobe in his brain and caused him to relive every sad moment of his life in a timeless mind-prison of misery.
"Daaaammmmn." Said someone standing on the sidelines.
Jade dusted herself off as the goblin's dumb body hit the ground, and then looked around at the assembled crowd.
"Anyone else want to get fresh?" She asked.
Everyone instantly pretended to be interested in something else and walked away, leaving John, Davesprite, Janesprite, and Jade alone outside of the tavern.
"I appreciate you standing up for me and all," Janesprite said. "But I can't help but feel like that got out of hand really fast."
"Oh you haven't seen nothing yet." Davesprite assured her. "Stick with us for a while and you're bound to see all types of crazy shit. Like, this one time John was dating this super hot Werecat named Roxy and… Oh hey, John. Uh…. Just forget it, Janesprite. Never mind."
John swallowed a lump in his throat as he joined his friends. If he could go one day without getting reminded of his former relationship with Roxy, then all would be right with the world.
"Where have you guys been?" John demanded. "I've looked all over the city for you guys."
"We hit the shops." Jade pointed to Davesprite, who was wearing a very snazzy 'I heart Fuchsia Kingdom t-shirt'. "We decided to stop for a drink, but that asshole wouldn't let us in. He was really rude! I thought this kingdom was supposed to be one of the nicest around!"
"Things are actually going to shit here." John explained quickly. "Turns out that there's an army of Beemen on their way here to attack the kingdom! Rose sent me to find you guys. We have to help defend the town!"
"Beemen. Really?" Janesprite rolled her eyes. "John, that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. There's no such things as Beemen."
"Actually there are." Countered Davesprite. "Not many people know about them, but Beemen are man-sized bee's who work for the Bee Lord."
"I thought Beemen were a bunch of bee-sized men." Jade stroked her chin thoughtfully.
"Bees the size of men, men the size of bees. It doesn't matter!" John threw his hands in the air. "They're coming and we've got to fight them. Now follow me, Rose is up at the palace talking to the Empress and…"
"Halt!" From the skies descended about half a dozen Owl Knights. They fluttered down to the street and surrounded the group. "We got a call about a domestic disturbance involving a goblin barkeep and a Weredog by the name of Jade Harley. Apparently someone was super murdered."
"I have no idea what you're talking about. My name is Hade Jarley." Said Jade, as she tried to kick the goblin's corpse out of sight. "And there have been no disturbances here. No, sir."
"Sorry, ma'am. You and your friends are going to have to come with us." The Owl Knights closed in on our heroes. "You're under arrest until we get this matter sorted out."
"What do we do?" Davesprite whispered quickly to John as the Owl Knights pulled out magic shackles and began cuffing Jade.
"Just play it cool. We'll figure something out." John responded, as he allowed himself to be cuffed as well.
Up in the palace of the Fuchsia Kingdom, the Empress of the Sea herself was sitting in her throne.
"What do you think about this?" The Empress cleared her throat and began to sing:
Ooooh baby. I need you here right noooow!
It was once the best of times,
And now it is the… the... blurst of tiiiiiIIIiiiimmes!
Rose, who was still trapped inside the fish bowl, groaned and covered her ears. The 'blurst' of times? What the fuck was this crazy Empress talking about? Surely she wasn't seriously considering that particular verse a worthy of addition to her song.
"Oh, this is hopeless." The Empress sighed and rested her chin in her hand. "I'll never finish this song. Writing is just too hard!"
Out of frustration, the Empress angrily snatched up her writing notebook and ripped it in half. She threw the crumpled pages into the air and sadly watched them drift to the ground at her feet.
Oh how full of woe the life of an artist is.
Rose, ever the mischievous little minx, decided to play the Empress's depression in her favor.
"You can't give up, milady!" Rose said, in her sweetest voice. "All great songwriters reach a wall at some point, but an artist of your talent is bound to find their muse eventually. The world deserves to hear your voice!"
"Well of course, no one is going to argue with you on that point." The Empress rose from her royal chair and began to pace up and down the throne room, around Rose's glass prison. "I just have trouble finding the right words to express myself, you know? I'm a tortured soul, with a desire to express my anguish and grief!"
"Perhaps I can be of assistance." Rose offered, then she too cleared her throat and began to sing.
Oooh baby. I need you here right now!
It was once the best of times,
And now it is the… worst of tiiiiimes!
And thus Rose wove a beautiful, musical blanket, which enraptured the Empress in the soft warmth of rhythmic majesty. Not many people know this about Rose, but she had quite the set of golden pipes on her. You might even say she was liable to drop a radical rhyme every whence and then.
Davesprite was still eons ahead of her in the bodacious beats category, but that just goes without saying. I don't even know how you could even think about comparing the two. You'd have to be some kind of hydra-kissing idiot or something.
Anyways, I'm getting sidetracked:
"Oh my lyrical rings!" Gasped the Empress. "Of course! It all seems so simple now. The worst of times makes much more sense. Thank you, kind witch. Thank you so! How can I ever repay you?"
"You could let me go."
"Naw."
"Shit!" Rose pounded a fist against the wall of her cell and instantly regretted it as the sound bounced around the enclosed space. "Ugh. You can't keep me here. I haven't done anything."
"You were going to incite panic amongst my people, at least the ones that are left." The Empress sighed. "Listen, Lalonde. I just want everyone to get along and be happy. If I fight the Beemen, then my loyal servants and valued friends and companions will be put in danger! I can't have that!"
"So you'd rather be easily conquered than risk death by fighting for your freedom? That's one of the stupidest things I've ever heard! And I run around with a brain-dead sprite and… well, and John. A leader is supposed to be strong, stand firm and set an example for their people. You have an obligation to stand up for yourself!"
"I have an obligation to prevent as much blood from being shed as possible." Sulking back to her throne, the Empress flopped onto the velvet cushions. "I appreciate what you're trying to do, Lalonde, but my mind is made up."
"Ugh!" Rose threw her hands into the air. "Is everyone in a position of power in this fantasy land completely incompetent?!"
At that moment, the doors to the hall were thrown open and in marched a group of Owl Knights, shepherding John, Davesprite, Jade, and Janesprite as their prisoners. Rose groaned and beat her head against the wall of her prison with a solid thunk when she saw that her friends had been arrested.
Everything was totally fucked.
"This group was found at the scene of a grisly murder, your highness." Explained one Owl Knight as he gestured to our heroes. "Eyewitnesses claim that this one," He pointed to Jade. "Killed a local barkeep in warm blood, which isn't as bad as cold blood, but still, like seriously, murder is murder, amirite?"
"Hey, Rose!" Jade waved to her friend and Rose waved back weakly.
"Ah! Friends with the witch, I see." The Empress looked between Rose and the rest of her group. "Do you see now, Lalonde? Do you see now what happens when you allow rebellious nature to run rampant? You, Weredog. Yes, you. I bet you and your friends were planning to spread tales of rebellion as well! I cannot have that." Snapping her fingers, The Empress summoned more Owl Knights. "Guards! Lift up Rose's glass, fishbowl prison so that we can fit more people inside of it!"
Together, the Owl Knights struggled to lift the bottom of the fishbowl prison, which weighed like a billion fucking pounds I'll have you know, and shepherd our heroes inside of it.
"Wait!" John yelled as he was shoved roughly towards the dome. "You can't just lock us up! That's not nice!"
"The world isn't nice, whateveryournameis." The Empress sighed. "Now if you'll excuse me, the Beemen are coming and I must prepare a solid surrender speech for, you know, when I surrender the kingdom to them."
Davesprite, Jade, and Janesprite were thrown inside of the glass prison, whilst John continued to struggle against the guards.
"Stop being a bitch, dude, and get inside the bowl." Urged one Owl Knight.
"No! You can't do this!" John called to the Empress. "Please, your highness! Give me a chance to speak to you."
"It's hopeless, John." Said Rose. "There's nothing that you can say to her that I haven't said. She's made up her stupid mind already."
"Just wait!" John ducked away from the Owl Knights and quickly dashed right up to the Empress's throne. "Listen to me, your highness. I come from a town full of people like you. A town where everyone just wants to live peaceful lives full of nothingness and sorrow. You want to be a good Empress and I get that, but this isn't the way to do it."
"Oh, really?" The royal lady leaned forward and set a shrewd gaze upon John. "Am I just supposed to take your advice? Who are you to speak to me in this manner?"
"I am John, Hero of Honey Town." Said you know who. "But to truthfully answer your question, I'm just a normal, below-average guy, who doesn't deserve to lick the sole of your boot, let alone get all up in your grill." John smiled sheepishly. "However, I think I know what it I'm talking about when it comes to letting people walk all over you."
"This is different than what you think, peasant." Snapped the Empress. "There's a difference between being a floor mat and doing the smart thing."
"A month ago, I would have agreed with you there." John pointed back towards Rose and his friends. "But then I met them and I met her. Rose Lalonde is her name and she is the greatest witch ever. She showed me that things are different than the way I always thought they were. She showed me that there's a time to be afraid and a time to run and most of all: a time to be brave."
John took a step closer to the Empress and even had the guts to take her by the bejeweled hand. He continued:
"Now is the time to be brave, Empress. Even if it's hard, even if it's dangerous. You need to show your people that there's honor in living within your Kingdom's walls. With our help, you can fight off the Beemen save your people!"
As John finished, several things happened. The Empress looked into his bright, blue eyes and saw her own fear reflected in them, as well as an unprecedented amount of unmitigated hope that, frankly, changed her heart. Davesprite, Jade, and Janesprite, each broke into wind grins and smug smirks, seeing for the first time John's capacity for heroism.
Lastly, as Rose listened to John speak of her in that manner, she realized something:
She loved him.
Rising from her throne, the Empress hefted her double-sided trident and raised it above her head.
"This lowly peasant is right!" She bellowed. "We're the god-fucking-damn Fuchsia Kingdom and it's time we proved what that meant!"
"What does that mean exactly?" Asked one Owl Knight. "I mean, Fuchsia is just a color, right? Like, a pretty obscure color too. What does that have to do with anything?"
"Get the fuck out." The Empress demanded, pointing to the questioning Owl Knight. "I'm serious. Get the fuck out if you're going to be like that." After the Owl Knight left, the Empress continued: "Anyways, prepare for battle my owl guards. These Beemen will not take over our way of life today, fore we are floor mats no more!"
"Yeah!" Cheered all the Owl Knights.
They took their war hammers and swords and shields and ran from the throne room to set up defenses along the kingdom walls. The Empress herself walked up to the fishbowl prison and smashed it with one swing of her mighty double-sided trident. Glass rained down upon the group and I'm pretty sure that one shard bounced on the hard floor, flew towards the throne, and straight into John's open mouth.
He spat the glass out quickly, but not before it made a tiny cut on the side of his tongue. For the next week, whenever his teeth brushed up against that side of his tongue, you know he wanted to shed a tear.
"I'm sorry for the rough treatment. I now consider you all my friends." Said the Empress to Rose and her companions. "I would be honored to fight by your side in the upcoming battle and in the end, stand victorious as champions of virtue."
"You can count on us." Said Rose, giving the Empress a solid fist bump.
As the Empress exited the hall to prepare for battle, John rejoined his friends and was immediately enveloped in a ridiculously tight hug by one Jade Harley.
"Oh, John! The way you talked to the Empress was so awesome! You really are a hero!" She squealed gleefully.
"I always knew you had it in you. Roxy would be so proud- Oh… oh, wait. Never mind. Just forget I said anything." Congratulated Davesprite.
"Nice work." Nodded Janesprite appreciatively.
"Heh, thanks, guys." John smiled at his friends. "I just did what any of yall would have done. Hehe."
"Was that true?" Rose blurted suddenly. "All that stuff you said… about me?"
John rubbed the back of his neck.
"Uh, yeah. Yeah, it was…"
He was cut off when Rose suddenly grabbed him by the front of the shirt and pressed her lips to his. John was momentarily stunned, but recovered quickly and reciprocated tenfold. Ever since he first began his journey with this amazing, brave, and spectacular woman, his heart had ached for her.
His hands gripped her slim waist tightly and only then, did he realize that his heart finally had her.
Eventually, after a good forty-five seconds of awkward and uncomfortable waiting at the hands of everyone else in attendance, the couple separated.
"Alright." Said Rose, with a magical spark in her eye. "Let's kill these Bee-bitches."
They set up defenses on the kingdom walls. All of the Owl Knights came together to form an impenetrable line of pure muscle. They wielded long pikes and bows, with which they could use to fight the Beemen from a distance, and set up large catapults that they could use to launch flaming barrels, heavy rocks, and balloons full of slime at the attackers.
The slime doesn't really do anything. It's just really inconvenient. Just imagine you're flying towards the palace with your fellow beebros, when a fucking balloon hits you right in the face and covers you in head to toe in green slime just like Danny Tamberelli from 'Figure it Out'.
You'd be hella pissed right?
Anyways, up on the wall at the front lines, The Empress of the Sea herself stood with her mighty double-sided trident raised. By her side stood Rose and her band of heroes. They waited and watched the mist-covered bay for any sign of the invading Beemen. It was quiet… too quiet.
"There!" Shouted an Owl Knight as he pointed with his little owl hand. "In the mist."
Sure enough, all of the defenders squinted into the fog to see a large shape moving towards them. As the shape grew nearer, the sounds of hundreds upon hundreds of buzzing insect wings could be heard. The fog dispersed and from it's depths came the Beemen.
"Ooooh." Davesprite squinted at the army, which must have been three thousand large. "So they are man-sized bees. Ugh. That's fucking sick."
The army of Beemen hovered over the bay. They were armed with bows and arrows, swords, axes, and one old Beeman just had a pair of spoons that he tried to scoop eyes out with. It never worked and more often than not, the old Beeman just got his ass kicked. He was a shitty soldier, but the other Beemen kept him around since he knew some good jokes and made the meanest cheese and potato stew you ever did taste.
One Beeman, the lieutenant of the army, flew forward to convene with the Empress.
"Empress of the Sea!" The Beemen buzzed. "The mighty Bee Lord of the South has sent us to claim this kingdom for his world domination kickstarter. I received word that you were looking to surrender without a fight. Is that so?"
"I don't know." The Empress tapped at her chin thoughtfully. "Why don't you tell me?"
The Empress then turned to Jade and gave her a quick nod. Grinning, the sexy-fine Weredog raised her crossbow and fired a bolt directly into the Beeman's eye socket.
"Ah! Son of a honeycomb!" Wailed the Beeman in pain. "Fuck you Empress! Fuck you in your fish asshole! We're going to tear this kingdom down brick by brick. Fuck you!" He raised his bee sword to the sky. "Attack, Beemen! Attack!"
The Bee lieutenant rushed forward and was instantly decapitated by the swing of Davesprite's sword. His dead, stupid body fell to the ground, chest-down, and his dead, stupid head flew through the air to be impaled on his incredibly erect stinger.
Every one of the kingdom defenders stared at the gruesome display for a second.
"Daaaammmmn." Said one Owl Knight.
Then another Beeman fired an arrow that flew right into the Owl Knight's mouth. He choked to death and died.
The battle had begun.
"Get to the town square and defend any civilians that may still be loitering about." Rose commanded to John, Davesprite, and Janesprite. "Jade and I will remain here on the wall to hopefully impede their progress to the kingdom's heart. If we are to fall, it will be up to you to save the day."
"You can count on us, Rose." Said Davesprite. "I eat pieces of shit like these guys for breakfast!"
"You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?"
"Wait- what? No… No that's not what I mean…"
"Take care of yourself." John stepped up and gave Rose a quick peck on the cheek, causing a tinge of pink to creep into her cheeks. "See you when all of this is over?"
"Bet on it." She responded with a small smile. "Now get going. There isn't much time."
John, Davesprite, and Janesprite descended from the tower wall and ran/floated as quickly as they could towards the center of the kingdom as the army of Beemen launched their assault against the defenders on the wall.
Rose and Jade fired magical spells and crossbow bolts, respectively, into the Beemen army, killing dozens upon dozens of the insect douchebags. The Owl Knights activated their catapults and launched projectiles at the invaders. Some of the Beemen were hit with slime and it was super inconvenient.
"This truly is a glorious battle!" Cheered the Empress as she swatted at the Beemen with her trident. "I've never felt so alive!"
"That's the power that comes from standing up for yourself!" Cheered Jade. "That's how I felt when I killed that goblin barkeep. I mean, when I saw someone kill that goblin barkeep."
Rose summoned her cat familiar, Jaspers, and set him lose on the airborne attackers. He ripped through them like tissue paper, showering the bay with disgusting bee guts and bee body parts. With a tiny 'mew!' Jaspers flew back to his master and deposited at her feet the still-beating heart of a Beeman.
"You're a sick fuck, Jaspers." Said Rose appreciatively. "And I love you."
Then she raised her wands to the sky and continued the fight.
Down in the town square, some of the Beemen had managed to sneak past the first line of defense. They terrorized the Fuchsia Kingdom citizens by throwing rocks at them, jumping out from behind trash bins and yelling 'boo!', and by doing kick-flips on their bee skateboards outside of the public library, where a sign clearly forbid such practice.
John, Davesprite, and Janesprite had their work cut out for them.
"Hey! Stop that!" John yelled at a couple of Beemen who pulling up flowers in the town garden. "I thought bees were supposed to like flowers!"
"And I thought nerds were supposed know when to shut their traps." One of the Beemen taunted as he drew his sword. "En garde, you scurvy dog!"
"Whoa. So you're a French/pirate/bee/man?" Asked John.
"What? No, you idiot." The Beeman shook his head. "That just sounded like a fun thing to say. Don't people say that before they fight?"
"Yeah, in movie scrolls." Davesprite drew his sword. "But things are different in the real world. Prepare to get stomped!"
As John and Davesprite engaged the Beemen in combat, Janesprite floated off to the side and watched. She wasn't much of a fighter, in fact, she was the exact opposite of a fighter: a pacifist. Now, there's nothing wrong with being a pacifist, or any other type of person with strong beliefs. However, in the midst of a great battle, you sort of have to make yourself useful somehow.
"Uh, excuse me, sir." Janesprite floated over to a Beeman solider in the process of setting fire to a wooden building labeled: 'Double Orphanage'. "But could you please not do that? I know that you want to prove how much of a big, tough guy you are, but there's other ways to find fulfillment other than violence!"
"Like what?" Asked the Beeman, lowering his box of matches.
"Well, you could go to school and get an education, or find religion, or do work to improve society. All of which have the potential to build character and improve you as a person."
"But this is what I'm good at." The Beemen gestured to the battle waging around them. "My dad was an evil henchman, and his dad before him, and his dad before him. It's in my blood. This is all I've ever done and it's all I'm any good for."
"Now, I don't believe that for a second." Janesprite argued. "Look at me! I'm the cheekiest little sprite you ever did see! However, I have a dark past shrouded in evil. At one point, I worked for an evil necromancer named Scott. I thought that was all I was good for too, until I met my new friends. You have the capacity for great things. You just have to be open to opportunities!"
"But change is scary."
"Change is always scary, but you know what's even scarier? Growing old with the knowledge that you didn't try hard enough, that you didn't set your best foot forward." Jane took the Beeman by his little bee hand. "It's not too late to try, Mr. Beeman."
The Beeman looked at the ground and sighed. For a moment, Janesprite worried that her words hadn't made much of an impact at all. But then the Beeman looked up once more and there was a brilliant smile on his face.
"You're right, sprite." He said. "It's time to turn this life around!" Then he drew his bow and aimed at Janesprite. "Tomorrow."
Janesprite let out a shrill shriek of fear and covered her head with her arms. John heard her yell and turned just in time to see the Beeman let his arrow lose, right at Janesprite.
"NOOOOOoooooooOOOOOoooo!" Yelled John as he dashed forward.
He took a flying leap and dived in front of Janesprite. The arrow struck him instead, piercing his chest and ripping through the back of his shirt in a shower of blood. The hero fell to the ground in a heap, leaking red onto the cobblestone street.
"John!" Janesprite screamed in horror.
"Dumbass." Commented the Beeman as he notched another arrow. "Hold still, sprite lady. This will only take a second- OH GOD MY NECK!"
Davesprite decapitated the Beeman with one swing of his sword. His body fell to the ground, leaking whatever it is bee's have inside of them onto the cobblestone street. His severed head flipped through the air and landed right on top of John.
"Ow." Said John, who was probably about to die.
His two friends knelt by his side and examined his chest wound.
"Fuck, John. Shit, shit, shit." Davesprite cradled John's head in his lap. "Are you a fucking idiot, dude? You better not die right now. Rose is going to be so god-damn pissed at me if you croak it now."
"Oh, John." If Janesprite possessed the biological requirements to produce tears, she probably would have been crying. "Thank you so much for a saving me. That Beeman was such a douchebag."
"He was, wasn't he?" John wheezed, coughing up blood. "Look, guys. I'm pretty sure that I'm totally boned. If I don't make it… tell Rose that- that I love her, okay? Ever since I first saw her…"
He trailed off and with a final 'bleh', John died.
Up on the town wall, Rose was almost at her wit's end with these fucking Beemen. Yeah, they weren't good fighters and yeah, she tore them to shreds, but there were just so many of them. It was time to bring this battle to an end.
"Jade, cover me!" She ordered, as she raised her wands to the sky and chanted this ancient incantation:
Don't speak!
I know just what you're saying,
So please stop explaining.
Don't tell me cause' it hurts.
No, no, no.
Don't speak!
As she sang her song, magical lightening flew from her wand tips and coated the sky in a purple glow. Almost immediately, all the Beemen fell from the sky, struck dead by the pure might and power of Rose's unmitigated magical ability.
A Beeman feel at Rose's feet.
"This is but a small victory, witch." He spat. "The Bee Lord's day is coming and soon, you shall fall!"
"Doubt it." Said Rose, then she blew a hole in his head with a well-placed bullet spell.
"Rose! Jade!" Janesprite called as she flew up to her friends. "You have to come quick!"
"Why?" Asked Jade. "What happened?"
"It's John. Just come on!"
Leaving the Empress and her Owl Knights to celebrate their decisive victory, Rose and Jade followed Janesprite to the town square, where Davesprite waited with John. Rose saw the blood and the arrow protruding from John's chest, quickly piecing together what had happened.
"Oh no!" Jade gasped, dropping to the ground by Davesprite's side. "What happened? Is he dead?"
"I think it's pretty obvious that he got shot with an arrow." Snarked Davesprite, despite the anguish currently rolling in his chest. "And yeah, he's really fucking dead."
Rose turned to Janesprite.
"You know healing magic. Is that correct, sprite?" She was strangely calm considering the situation.
"I, uh… Yes, I do." Janesprite eyed John worriedly. "But I've never tried to raise someone from the dead."
"You have to try now." Rose's voice refused to waver. "You're going to try."
"Uh, yeah. Of course." Taking position by his side, Janesprite held her hands over John's corpse, and cast her most powerful healing spell: "Come, baby, come. Baby, baby. Come, come!"
Blue magic leapt from her fingertips and sank into John's chest, swirling around his arrow wound and causing his body to spasm. Jade and Davesprite leapt back out of harm's way, but both Rose and Janesprite held their positions. The arrow in John's chest dissolved before their very eyes and the wound in John's chest stitched itself together as if it had never been there in the first place.
He opened his yes.
"Oh my golden rings." He gasped, gingerly touching his healed chest. Upon finding himself to be thoroughly un-penetrated, he looked up to see Rose, with tears streaming down her once composed face. "Hey, Rose. Why are you crying? I'm healed!"
"I'm- I'm crying because…" Rose quickly wiped at her eyes. "Because I love you, you fucking idiot!"
And then she kissed him, right in front of her best friends, in the heart of the Fuchsia Kingdom, surrounded by dead Beemen, and without a care in the world. For the moment, they had won.
"So, yeah. That's the story of the Battle at Owl Bay." Dave finished, coming to a halt in front of the panel of judges. Rosie, who still sat in her tiny desk, was enraptured by the tale and had hung on her father's every word throughout his long spiel. Most of the panel members were snoozing lightly in their seats, albeit the president and one guy on the far left who was crying silently.
"That fucking ending…" Sobbed the weeping panelist. "When she kissed him. CLASSIC!"
The president cast him a scathing glance and then returned her attention to Dave.
"Yes, Mr. Strider. That was a truly lovely tale, one which we'd love to hear the rest of someday." She said shrewdly. "I fail to see, however, how that entire thing had anything to do with your daughter's predicament."
"Well, you see, ma'am. I told that story because… uh, you see…" Dave wracked his brains. "I was trying to explain how I knew the greatest witch ever, right? And how my daughter learned that transmogrification spell."
"Yes. And?"
"And what?"
"And how does your story excuse your daughter's actions!" The president shrieked.
"Uhhhhhhh."
"That's right! It doesn't! Thank you for the entertainment, Mr. Strider, but the truth of the matter is that your daughter brutally harmed a fellow student and therefore must be expelled!" The president lifted a large, rubber stamp and brought it down on an official-looking document with a deafening slam! "So it has been decreed. You're daughter will never step foot in these halls again. Thank you for coming. Goodbye."
Before Dave or Rosie could object, a large troll wearing a plaintiff's uniform ushered them from the large hall. The father and now expelled young witch were taken from the academy and tossed out onto the street.
Dave dusted himself off, took his daughter by the hand, and angrily marched away from the school. Rosie began to cry.
"What are we going to do, Daddy?!" She asked. "Mom is going to be so fucking pissed! How am I ever going to learn magic now?! My life is ruined!"
"No it isn't." Dave stated firmly. "I'll handle everything, okay? You're going to be just fine. We'll figure something out."
But even as Dave spoke, he knew that both he and his daughter were fucked as soon as they returned home to Jade.
I think there were three songs in this chapter, maybe even four, which is the most I've ever stuffed into one chapter before. I doubt there will be any more songs in any future chapters, simply because song-spells are much too powerful and need to be nerfed. Oh well.
Thanks for reading. Watch the Sonic Boom cartoon.
- Mike