"Tris, will you –" Christina let's out a small squeal, not able to keep it in, and this time Uriah jabs her in the ribs. " Beatrice Prior, will you marry me?" I hear my self gasp, but I don't register it, I'm registering the fact that he, Tobias Eaton, the person I am in love with, just asked me to marry him. I think he sees how shocked I am, and says, "Not now. Not until you're ready. I'm not ready, but I know that some day I will be, and I hope that you will be eventually too. We don't have to have the wedding until we're seventy! I just never want to loose you."

I give him a small, soft smile, incapable of showing how I really feel. "Yes." I say whisper you can barely hear, just see. I feel tears streaming down my face, going so quick you'd think that they were racing each other to the floor. I would usually hate other people seeing me cry, but today, these are tears of joy. And I don't care who sees me.

Once the commotion has died down, and all the tears from Christina's are wiped, Tobias approaches me, leaning in for a quick kiss and a hug. His mouth next to my ear, he whispers, "You know, in Abnegation they never would've allowed me to marry you - it would be considered selfish to keep someone like you all to myself."

"Well, it's lucky you didn't choose Abnegation – and that's not selfish. It's completely selfless - volunteering to spend the rest of your life with me. Very little would survive."

"Yeah? Do you think I will?"

"I have a small inkling that you will." I kiss him, passion building up ever so slightly. He leans back, grips my hand and squeezes it, then walks to talk to Uriah about something. I can tell he still feels terrible about that.

I get into Tobias' bed that night. There aren't any spare bed's left in the room, and I feel like I need to be with him right now. The nurses gave me a small dose of painkillers so I can sleep, but not enough to make me hurt myself any more. I drift into a light slumber quickly, but am shortly woken by a sharp, perfectly memorized memory of Will.

This time I was in my fear landscape, and my fear of killing family has been replaced with killing Will. Someone who was innocent, had absolutely no control over the situation, and was my friend. I had Jeanine standing directly behind me, with a gun to my head, and I couldn't pull the trigger. I had to look away, instead of into his eyes. Even though I was aware it was just a simulation, it still felt real. And even though I know that's not my real fear landscape, it still. Felt. Real.

I let out a scream and sit up straight in bed, and a pain from my shoulder rips through my torso. I guess I woke everyone else in the room up, too, because Tobias sits next to me, wiping the tears from my eyes, and Christina walks over to rub my back. I still know that it wasn't real, yet I continue to let out loud sobs. I try to be quiet to let Uriah Zeke and Shauna fall back asleep, but they are all sitting up, concerned looks cover their face.

"Christina. I am so sorry!" My voice escapes me as disjointed words.

"Tris. You've already apologised." Her voice is soothing, "I don't blame you!" She whispers, and she gives me a warm, comforting embrace.

Eventually, my sobs turn to sniffs, and Christina hops back into bed. I lay back down, Tobias and I facing each other. I want to forget. I want to forget about it all. Going to dauntless, but still want to know Tobias. Going to initiation. Al. Peter. But still want to know Christina, and Uriah, and Zeke. I want the war to not have happened. I want to forget about it. I kiss Tobias, so quickly that our lips don't line up. So quickly he gets a shock, but doesn't stop. The passion inside of me is building up again and I can feel the electricity running through my body. I forget about the room full of people, including my brother, and focus only on Tobias. Tobias. Tobias. His mouth leaves my mine and travels down my jaw line. His hands gip my thin waist and our bodies move together as one. I let out a sigh.

"Oh. My. God! Will you just shut up already!" I hear Uriah's voice and immediately pull away. "There are sleeping people who don't need their dreams overlapped with your make out sounds!" Tobias laughs and throws a spare pillow at him. "Thanks, I needed that."

Tobias seems so natural here, with this group. Not strong and forceful like back at Dauntless, or quiet and unheard of like in Abnegation, but happy here.

I'm glad.

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