Hey guys! I am back with another chapter!

If I have not gotten in touch with you personally regarding your review, again, it was just because I couldn't because of them not having an account. To everyone, thank you so much. I am touched that so many people already like my story.

Also, bare with me, this is another intense chapter. I had to do a lot of research for this one, since I honestly don't know much beyond names of drugs. You guys are going to want to beat Bella senseless by the end of this chapter. Please R&R!

Disclaimer: SM owns everything

Chapter 8: Tension

BPOV

It was still dark when Edward's alarm clock went off. I was still awake, so tired that I could barely focus.

Edward groaned from his place on the sofa, and began swatting at the empty air beside him, almost falling off the couch. I stifled a giggle as he grudgingly opened his eyes. I turned off his alarm for him as he stood up, looking rather disoriented. He didn't say anything coherent as he made his way towards the bathroom. Apparently he wasn't a morning person.

After about twenty minutes, he came out of the bathroom, freshly showered, wearing only a towel, water dripping down the muscles of his torso, his hair dripping into his eyes. I felt myself swallow, as my cheeks burned hot. I unwillingly tore my eyes away as he started rummaging through his drawers for clothes to wear for the day.

I heard a chuckle, and I immediately looked up again, immediately feeling my cheeks burn brighter as he grinned at me. "Never seen a guy in a towel before? " he chuckled, and I wished his bed would just swallow me whole as I shook my head.

"I forgot to grab clothes before hand." He shrugged, still smirking. He goes back into the bathroom with clothes, and comes back out a few minutes later, fully dressed in a pair of black jeans and a plain black T-shirt. I glanced at him, but the only thing I could see still was a practically naked Edward.

"Do you need to stop at home to grab clothes for school?" he asked

I nodded dumbly, my mouth dry.

"Alright, come on." He grins, and I quickly get up. I am immediately reminded why I was up here in the first place when my head spins uncomfortably. "You okay?" he asked when I realize I had just been standing there looking like whatever I looked like.

"Yeah." I mutter, before forcing myself to focus through the fog. We make our way out of his room, and downstairs.

"Bella! Are you feeling better!?" I heard as the small form of Alice came skipping up to me with concern all over her features.

"Yeah, I'm, fine." I said, forcing a reassuring smile.

"Bells, I am so sorry, I didn't mean to—" Emmett said as he walked up, but kept a distance.

"Emmett, you did nothing wrong. I don't even know what happened. It was probably just from being tired or something." I said shrugging.

"Still, I'm sorry. I really hope you still come back, you're really cool!" he said, looking like a hopeful little kid—albeit huge.

"I will, don't worry." I said smiling at him.

"Come have breakfast with us!" Alice says, bouncing a little.

"Actually, We don't really have time. She still needs to get clothes and stuff from her house." Edward says.

"Oh… Okay. Well maybe I will see you later then?" She asks.

"Definitely."

Edward and I leave then, heading out to his Volvo. He drives us to my house. Charlie had already left for work.

"Do you want me to come in?" he offers.

"I won't be long." I said, knowing the place would be a mess, and not wanting him to see the liquor bottles that surely littered every surface.

"Alright." He said, studying me a little.

I shut the door to his car and go inside quickly. I take a quick 10 minute shower, and change into new clothes. I didn't even bother drying my hair, and am heading back towards the door in slightly less than fifteen minutes.

Just as I reach the door, another wave of dizziness comes over me, and I grasp the doorknob a moment to keep myself upright. As soon as it passes, I open the door, and go back out to his car, feeling like absolute crap. I really wish I had some coffee right about now.

"That was pretty quick." He says glancing at me, before taking a double take. He takes my chin in his hand, sending warm tingles all through my face as he stares at my eyes. "Did you not get enough sleep?" he asks, before running his thumb over the dark bags beneath my eyes. I knew I was getting to the danger zone where my eyes weren't focusing.

"I—" I tried to come up with an explanation since I had pretended to be asleep.

"I knew you weren't really sleeping most of the time." He said with a sigh. "Good book though?"

I nodded with a sigh. "I didn't want to have more nightmares at your house. I freaked you guys out enough yesterday. I.. don't usually sleep." I said, figuring this bit of honesty I could tell him. This was one thing I could say.

He ran a hand through his hair, closing his eyes.

"You need sleep." He said.

"I hate sleeping." I said, staring out the window now.

"Have you tried like sleeping pills or something?"

"Yeah, except those are worse. They just leave you trapped in the dreams." I said, leaning my head back tiredly.

"I know how that is.. I used to have nightmares too." He said, looking away.

"You did? What changed?" I asked, desperate

"The right cocktail of drugs." He muttered. "I don't want you to go near that shit though."

My interest was piqued. I remembered now that when I was on the heroin, I didn't dream that night. Maybe there were others that could do the same.

"Don't even think about it." He said with a stern voice, obviously seeing where my thoughts were heading.

"What worse can any of that shit do that I am not already living through?"

"It will destroy your life."

"My life is already destroyed." I bit back, my tone dark.

"Maybe you could fucking fix it if you told someone what the fuck was going on!"

I opened and closed my mouth a few times in shock. He knew something was going on, but it was clear he didn't know what.

"Yeah, you think I didn't fucking notice? You get injured way more than even klutziness can account for, and I am sure your nightmares about something. You are so fucking skinny that you look like your going to drop dead any fucking second. Shall I continue?" he spat at me

He was too close. He would get hurt. Suddenly my chest squeezed tight. I barely knew him, but I suddenly knew that if he got hurt because of me, I couldn't live with myself… It would be like him all over again.

I had to get away before he figured out more, even though it would fucking kill me to lose him again, I had to get away. I had to protect him. I don't know why it was so important, but suddenly, it was more important than the pain I would suffer from losing the closest things to friends I had had since middle school.

"Bella?" he asked, his tone softening a little. It wasn't until then that I realized that I was crying.

"I have to go. I'm sorry, you're right. I need to stay away from you." I said, my voice a broken whisper. Not for the reasons he stated though.

He tried to stop me as I got out of his car, and ran to the forest next to my house. I heard him follow after me for awhile, calling out for me as I darted between trees, until eventually he gave up.

"Fuck!" I yelled as I punched the tree. "Fuck Fuck FUCK!" I screamed as I kept hitting it with all of my strength, not caring that I was breaking my already broken wrist far worse. I could feel the bone shift, but I still kept hitting it, until I finally collapsed on the ground crying. "Fuck you Charlie… You have to take everything away, even when you aren't around. And fuck you Edward, Why couldn't you have just ignored everything you saw? Why couldn't you be fucking stupid." I growled into my arms as I forced the tears to stop.

"You promised you wouldn't fucking cry anymore. Don't be a fucking baby, stop fucking crying." I spat out at myself in disgust as I forced the tears to stop.

I spent the next several hours just trying to cool down, and put up a blank façade. I didn't think I would be able to bring the numbness back so easily, but I knew I could at least fake it.

After a little while, I left the forest, and went into my house, grabbing the landline. I pulled James's number out that he had given me when he gave me the smack a couple days ago.

He picked up after a few rings. "Hello?" he asked

"James. This is Bella. What do you have, other than the smack? Something that will… I don't know, make me numb, or happy, I don't care, and that gives you dreamless sleep. Either that or something that gives you energy so you don't need sleep. I don't care what." I said, aware I sounded crazy over the phone.

"Heh, Bella, Meet me at the park, I will bring you somewhere, and we will find your drug of choice. Why not Heroin, may I ask?" he said conversationally.

"I made a promise. As far as I am concerned, everything else is fair game though." I said quietly.

"Alright, the park in twenty minutes."

"See you there." I said before hanging up. I immediately left, and half ran, half walked, knowing It was a thirty minute walk, but if I ran some of the way, I could make it on time.

When I got there, his station wagon was already parked by the curb. I went over to his car, and got in, out of breath.

"Hey Bella. We are going to go to my place. I think I know just the thing, or rather a couple of things." He grins a little.

I knew that I shouldn't trust him, but I was beyond caring. The last thing I wanted was to have to deal with this shit any longer. I couldn't involve people in my life, that much was finally clear, but I couldn't just survive any longer without anything else. That much was also clear. I needed something, anything to help me hold on.

We drove for a little while until he pulled into a crappy apartment building parking lot. We both got out, and I hesitantly followed him inside, neither of us speaking.

When we got up to his apartment, he opened the door and let me in. There wasn't much in there, just a mattress on the floor, and cans all inside the kitchen. An old TV sat on top of a chair, and there were a few articles of clothing on the floor.

He walked into the kitchen, and went into one of the drawers, pulling everything out of it, then taking out a piece of wood that looked like it was a fake bottom for the drawer. Inside was baggies of power, bottles of pills, plants, and a bunch of other stuff.

He then pulled out a bag of white powder, and two different bottles of pills.

He then walked over to the Mattress, and sat down, motioning next to him. I sat down beside him, watching him. He grabbed a lap table, and poured some of the white powder on it, arranging it in lines with a razorblade. He then handed me a short straw.

"All you have to do is inhale it through your nose. This one is coke, Edward's personal favorite." He chuckled. I blinked, not knowing the Edward did coke, but sighed, knowing it was irrelevant.

I took the straw, put it to my nose, and then sucked all the powder up. I could feel it coating the inside of my nose, and catch in the back of my throat. I could taste it slightly, and felt my nose starting to run, trying to get rid of the foreign substance.

I sniffled a few times, and wiped my nose, then I did the other line he had set up for me, this time a little easier, since I knew what to expect.

"So, that one, will keep you alert, and help you stay up. Now I can take a guess, saying you don't sleep all that much, so I am giving you a two part remedy for that." He grins a little.

"Um.. Okay." I say as he starts crushing up a pill. He then puts that one in a line like the coke. Before he eve explains, I inhale it, and he looks satisfied.

"That one was Speed, or Amphetamines. Coke is short lasting, but can make you pretty happy when you are on it. That one you will have to do more often, where as Speed, as its name implies, makes you hyper, speed through. You will barely ever have to sleep, and it lasts sometimes as long as twelve hours or more at a time. The two of those together, I think should make your days much more comfortable." He said, grinning. There was a look in his eyes that I wasn't sure I liked, like he had just caught a delicious prey. I knew what I was getting into.

"What's the other one you grabbed?" I asked

"Glad you asked. That one is Oxycodone, or Oxy's. Those are a lot like the heroin, but aren't actually Heroin. It's another opiate, and does just about the same thing as the other. Don't mix this one with the others. Wait until you come down from the others, and vise versa. This and the coke also both act as pain relievers as well, and this one should also give you your dreamless sleep."

I nod slowly.

"Now, let's see how this works. I will give you a very generous, two week supply of these. After that though, you are going to have to start paying, the stuff isn't free. I just want to help a friend out though."

Sure. He just knows that after two weeks that I probably won't go back. I said. I knew exactly what he was doing. Getting a new customer hooked. I was going to need a job to afford this, but if it would make it so I could function, and be okay, then I would gladly do it. It was no different then people getting prescriptions from the doctors. Hell, two of these were prescriptions.

He carefully measured out enough for two weeks of each. "The Oxy's you are going to want to do what I did with the speed. Break it up and snort it." He said with a grin.

I nodded slowly. "Thanks."

"No problem. Now, I have to go, I have another brother out. I will give you a ride back to the park. And obviously, you know the rules. No one finds out where you got it. Ever."

I nod seriously, before we both leave. When he drops me off at the park, he just grins and says "Have fun." Before he drives off.

As I stand there, I realize I am bouncing, suddenly full of energy. School wasn't even over yet, so I decided maybe I would catch the last couple classes. I hadn't felt so alert in a long time. I could see everything around me, I could hear all the sounds of the nature, and cars, I could feel the air on my skin. For once, I felt I was part of a 3d world, instead of navigating through fog in 2d.

I swore a little when I realized my backpack was still in Edward's car. I would still have to approach him at some point if I wanted it back,

For now, I could just say I forgot it, it wasn't a lie.

When I arrived, it was in the middle of lunch time. Oddly, even though I usually felt hungry, I wasn't. I went to sit down at a table, even the pain in my hands and wrist completely forgotten. I could barely feel the pain from those, or the bruised ribs, or any of the other things Charlie did. Hell, I felt like I could take on Charlie if I wanted.

After sitting there a few minutes, I made my way to biology, and sat down, mu leg bouncing up and down, and my fingers drumming on the desk. I just couldn't sit still.

"Bella, you came after all. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you this morning." He said as he sat down next to me.

I wanted to tell him it was okay, and I wanted to tell him we could still be friends, but I knew that was impossible. I knew we couldn't still be friends. It wasn't safe for him.

"Edward, I can't. I was wrong for thinking that it was okay to be with you guys. I was wrong for not listening to you in the first place." I said, forcing myself to look directly at his beautiful green eyes.

"That's bullshit. I just got too close to something, and you don't want me to find out. Don't fucking push me away out of cowardice. "

"This is not the time, nor the place to have this conversation, Monsieur. I just want to get an education. Maybe I just don't want to be friends with a dirt bag." I said, grimacing internally at having to hurt his feelings like this.

"Wow, Bella. You are a fucking bitch." He said with disgust, as he stared at me, then his eyes narrowed. "You're on something!" he hissed quietly at me.

I could feel my face pale. Was I that transparent? No, he just had a lot of experience with this stuff.

"What are you on? Who gave it to you?!" he spat under his breath so no one else could hear.

"None of you're business. As I told you, we aren't friends." I said, before getting up and storming out of the room.

I swore as I walked through the hallway, I passed a teacher who told me to get to class, and I just flipped them off. I didn't even look to see if they had followed me as I walked out of the school.

Please R&R! I really hope you are enjoy it! I got an early start, so I am likely to be doing a couple more chapters tonight!