Before I start, I'd just like to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEREMY BRETT! (Dec. 3) You're my second favourite Sherlock and gorgeous all around! To anyone who doesn't know him, pull up youtube and get acquianted. This chapter isn't going anywhere.

Sherlock took the rest of the day to complete the transition from a woman back into a man. After it became apparent that it wouldn't be the three minute ordeal that it was before, he stumbled out and flopped onto the sofa. He spent nearly the entire time there, wrapped up in that large blanket, groaning about various shifting pains and demanding tea in that weirdly dual voice. Apparently its much harder to change back from a woman than it was to change into one.

But today he woke me bright and early by belting out some opera song in his original rumbling baritone. The only thing that kept me from reaching down his throat and ripping out those damn vocal cords was Nimsy, who had brought in a light breakfast and a blanket. Apparently she got it in her head that we like blankets and will be taking every opportunity to bring us one. It's sweet, actually.

Unfortunately, I hadn't even sunk my teeth into the first biscuit before Sherlock dragged me out the door.

He spent the entire day darting around the local village taking dirt samples, brick samples, foliage samples and making me carry them around. All on an empty stomach. All while watching kids running about, laughing. Mostly about us.

But finally, finally I get to enjoy halloween. I can smell the food from here. Nothing Sherlock can do can drag me from this feast. No murders, no bloody experiments, nothing. If Sherlock were to run around the hall Buckingham Palace naked then I hope he has fun.

"Wow. How'd they get these decorations up so quickly?" I ask, nearly tripping over myself as I crane my neck to get a better look at the floating jack o lanterns and candles. I can feel Sherlock rolling his eyes a few paces ahead of me. 'Magic, John.' He's probably think-shouting at me. I ignore his holiday grumpiness and jog a little faster to keep up.

"If you hate these festivities so much, why are you going?" Not that I'm complaining. There's no way I'm not going. I can smell all the food from here and god those spices smell delicious. I just don't know why Sherlock bothers to go if he's going to moan and groan the entire time.

"It'll look suspicious. Everyone will be there making one missing person stand out like a sore thumb. It isn't like breakfast, lunch and dinner when you can pop in and leave or just blame work. It's a holiday. No one misses the feast without a major injury, so we can't miss the feast." He explains, looking very put upon. I brightened a bit more. We're obligated to stay! "So we'll attend the feast, stay long enough to reduce suspicion, I'll come down with a sudden ailment and we'll be free."

I sigh, feeling just a little defeated. We are not going until I've eaten... something. I mean it. I hope he knows that. I'm not just threatening or being stubborn. It's just impossible. I will pass out. "Vomit pill?" I ask, so I know whether or not to dodge.

"No. Too obvious. Blistering formula."

"Wait- you didn't..." He only bought the scabbing, bruising and vomiting in the last deal.

"Nicked it." He says briefly, reaching into his coat pocket and tossing me a small bottle. "Slip a drop into a glass of pumpkin juice and get me out of the room when I start screaming." Before I could ask for clarification, he throws the heavy wooden doors. I should have a talk with him about these dramatic entrances. They're getting so annoying. He walks up to the professor's table in long, sweeping strides up the middle aisle and I jog up behind him, rolling my eyes the entire way.

'It's... unnatural.'

'So weird.'

'Probably a mudblood. Then they'd practically be the same species.'

"There are two other more discreet entrances, Sherlock. Why couldn't we have taken one of those?" I hiss at him, ignoring the stares and whispered comments. I'm not surprised by the rumours. What with the midnight broom flight and the running about hogsmeade and the me always trailing after him. It's still annoying.

"Dull." Because it'd be ridiculous not to enter every single room as if we should have a full orchestra playing behind us. I sigh heavily as we take our seats at the professor's table.

"What does mudblood mean?" I ask as I pour us each a glass of pumpkin juice and pour a drop of the formula into his under the table. Sherlock doesn't drink pumpkin juice, so I know it's safe to assume he won't touch it until it's time. "I've gathered that it's an insult, but I can't imagine what it could mean."

"Slang for muggleborn." He explains simply, as if reading off a dictionary entry. "If you haven't noticed, the people here live by a completely different sort of racism."

"Mmm... Is that why you're back in that damn coat?" I ask between mouthfuls of a heavenly piece of pie. "Some sort of nonverbal protest?"

"No. I don't do causes. You know that." He says as he tears off a piece of turkey. He's actually eating something. Imagine that. "After the first few weeks, the robes just became unnecessary."

"Mmph." I think he's lying. I think he does it to piss people off, like he did with that... Wilkes guy. But I push the thought aside in favour of eating. Neither of say a word for what seems like hours. Sherlock picks at his food slowly and elegantly, although I can tell that he's just as starving as I am.

"Slow down there, yer eatin' like yev never seen food!" The magical creatures professor booms warmly. I haven't heard much about him. Just what Sherlock told me... actually I've heard everything about him. But that aside, he looks friendly.

"Well... sounds about right." I smile tensely as I nibble on a biscuit. "Hagrid, right?"

Hagrid nods. "How 'ave ye been takin' the whole magic thing?" He grinned at me like a brown santa claus. "I know firs' year muggleborns have a hard time gettin' use to it. But a real muggle!" I hear Sherlock sigh heavily at my other side.

"When you live with a man like Sherlock, you learn how to acclimate quickly. I actually think I might be taking it better than they are." I nod in the direction of the students. Hagrid's shoulders slump a little.

"Dunt take it too personally. 'S mostly the parents talking." He says sadly. He would know better than I, wouldn't he? Actually living like that in this sort of world.

"That's... frightening." The thought is pushed out of my head by Sherlock leaning over my shoulder.

"He's earlier than expected." He mumbles at me under his breath, sensing something I'm not. He? Were we waiting for someone? "Don't let them take me to the hospital wing." And without another word, he calmly raises his glass. His hand jolts halfway to his mouth, causing the liquid to splatter over his face. He screams as blisters start slowly bubbling up on his skin. God, those are convincing.

"Oh god it burns!" He hisses, shaking and hyperventilating as he drops the cup and gingerly prods at his face. "John!"

"Holy shhhh- That looks pretty bad." I wet my napkin and dab at the remaining liquid as he grimaces and gasps in 'pain'. "You'll be alright. Just calm down. It's just a surface reaction. Shhh. Does it feel hot?"

"No." He grunts back. "John, it hurts."

"I'll take 'im ta the hospital wing." Hagrid said, leaping out of his chair and knocking it over in a panic. Most everyone else is frozen in shock.

"No, I can take care of him. Probably just an allergy." I say steadily, pulling Sherlock to his feet.

"Yer sure?"

I 'guide' him out of the room without another word, brushing off Mcgonagall and Pomfrey's insistent tugs as I go.

"Getting friendly, John?" Sherlock breaks character the second the door closes behind us. He straightens up and shakes some of the pumpkin juice from his curls. His usually marble toned skin looks reddened and speckled with thousands of sickening white blotches. It really does look disgusting. The weasley brothers really deserve to be paid.

"We're going to be here for an entire year. If you're the only person I have contact with in that time, I'll lose my mind." I answer as we make our way to the office. "That really doesn't hurt?"

"Not at all."

Sirius will be introduced next chapter! It would've been this chapter, but I needed to get something in today and couldn't fit it.