He's my son
Chapter five
Dean stared at Dr. Luttrell in disbelief, she had to be lying there was no way Sam could possibly have cancer.
"I know it comes as quite a shock" Andrea said gently feeling uncomfortable with the way Dean was staring. "I need you to understand this diagnosis of cancer isn't necessarily a death sentence; it can be beat."
"May not be a death sentence" Dean remarked "but it will make Sam miserable."
"I won't lie" Andrea said "it's going to be a long hard road and he's going to need a lot of support but this battle doesn't have to be one that is lost."
"I'll be with Sam every step of the way" Dean said firmly. Though he knew it would kill him to watch Sam suffer through the treatment that was required to save his little brother's life.
Dean looked over at his father; John hadn't said a word in the last five minutes instead John was silently watching Sam sleep. Shock could clearly be seen in his eyes. Dean couldn't blame him for being shocked he was still having trouble believing accepting that Sam had a disease that could very easily end his short life.
"What can be done?" Dean asked turning around to face the doctor once more.
"Intensive chemotherapy" Dr. Andrea replied "but I would rather discuss treatment options when Sam wakes up and has been told the news. It gives you more time to adjust to the situation at hand."
"How does one adjust to something like this?" Dean wondered out loud. He dreaded telling Sam what was going on, because he knew how Sam would react.
"When given the right circumstances you would be surprised at what people figure out they can do." Andrea said "Sam needs a fighting chance but I believe he will pull through just fine." That being said the doctor turned and walked out of the room leaving Dean alone with his sleeping brother and his nearly catatonic father.
"So where do we go from here?" Dean asked "this stop was only temporary, what do we do now that we have this diagnosis?" for a few minutes John remained silent and Dean figured he wasn't going to say anything.
"I'm going to find us a place to stay" John answered quietly "and then we are going to seek the best treatment we can for Sam, he's not in this battle alone." Dean silently cheered he hadn't expected this much support from his father, knowing that he wasn't just going to leave Sam for a hunt made Dean feel ridiculously happy.
Standing John stretched his stiff limbs.
"I'm going house hunting see if I can a cheaper place close to the hospital, when he wakes call and let me know, I want to be hear when you tell him about the cancer." Turning his back John walked out the room, still feeling like he was somehow responsible for the current turn of events.
Dean sighed, bored now that the room was basically empty. He stood up and started quietly pacing the floors. The current situation was worrying, but Dean found himself more worried about Sam. The kid had recently been talking about cancer in one of his classes; he knew what a person would have to go through just to beat it. Dean was determined Sam wouldn't face anything alone, Sam didn't have to bear this burden alone, Dean would help him.
Twenty minutes later Dean paused in his pacing, when he heard a small noise come from the bed. He watched silently as Sam slowly and sluggishly opened his eyes.
"Hey, Sammy" Dean said softly, crossing the floor to get to his younger brother.
"Dean" he groaned quietly "what happened?" Dean was relieved there apparently wasn't any damage from the bleed. Thank god for small favors.
"You passed out in the middle of your class" Dean said "and got rushed to the hospital."
"Then why is my hip so soar did I bruise it or something?" Sam asked groggily. Dean frowned, how did he explain the doctors had stuck a long needle in him and had drawn out bone marrow to test for cancer? Dean had dreaded this moment all day, and the worst part was if Dean told him now, due to the effects of the anesthesia that had been used during his surgery, Dean didn't think Sam would remember anything about being told he had cancer, as much as he hated to lie to Sam. It would be better to do that then have to watch his reaction to the news twice.
"Something like that" Dean said "the important thing is you're doing okay at the moment, you came through surgery without any lasting problems."
Sam yawned but took Dean at his word, Dean had never lied to him before, and Sam didn't think he had any reason to start now.
"Will I be here long?" he asked still feeling rather sleepy.
"Depends on how you recover" Dean replied watching as his brother drifted back to sleep. He felt guilty for lying to him but what else could he really do? Dean sighed and sat back down in his chair, his day kept getting better and better.
Two hours later found Sam waking once again this time he was more alert. He was opening his eyes as John walked through the door.
"Nice to see you awake kiddo" John said quietly walking over and grabbing the seat beside Dean's chair.
"Did I die and go to heaven?" Sam wondered out loud causing Dean to laugh out loud.
"Must seem like it don't it?" he asked "You're used to having dad on your case about everything."
"Not this time though" John said clearly still feeling guilty. He ignored the sharp look Dean sent his way. He would always feel responsible for this situation.
"So what's really going on?" Sam asked wincing as turned over onto his sore hip. Dean hated the flash of pain that crossed his little brother's face. It didn't help that Dean knew along the way the pain would only get worse. He wished in that instant that he could trade places with his brother. Someone as kind and caring as Sam didn't deserve to be going through this. John sighed he wasn't ready to tell his baby this, and then again he didn't think he ever would be.
"I have some news for you that is not going to be easy to take" John began quietly reaching out and wrapping his hand around Sam's own. Dean had Sam's other hand firmly tucked in his own. Sam started feeling scared. His dad never openly showed the emotions he was feeling and he was certainly never openly caring with Sam.
"What's going on?" Sam asked weakly swallowing hard dreading his father's answer.
"The doctors ran a test while you were still unconscious; they were concerned about your white blood cell count" John said quietly "the tests results came back a little while ago."
"And?" Sam asked a strange feeling coming over him. He felt like things as he knew it were about to change forever. John took a deep breath and squeezed Sam's hand gently, god this was not easy, how did you tell your baby he had cancer?
"The tests came back as positive for leukemia." John finished watching his youngest son's face grow paler by the minute.
"You're lying" Sam shouted "you have to be lying! There's no way I can have cancer!" Dean felt tears prick his eyes as his little brother reacted in the only way he could have: in anger.
"Do you hate me so much that you wish I was dead?" Sam asked from between clenched teeth. He shut his eyes as tears flooded his own. He couldn't believe this how could his own father pretend to care about him and then tell him he had cancer?
"Why do you think you haven't been feeling well lately?" Dean asked quietly knowing Sam's accusations had badly hurt their father. He knew John loved them both, he had never once doubted it. Sam of course, had over the years after so many fights and arguments.
"It's the only thing that explains the bruises, and the way you've been sleeping a lot lately even though you go to bed at a decent hour." Dean knew his brother wouldn't think that he hated him.
"People DIE from cancer, Dean" Sam spoke in such a small voice that it tore through Dean's heart.
"Yes, they do" Dean agreed "But I'm going to be beside you every single minute, I won't let you give up! And I won't give you up" John smiled at the determination in Dean's voice. He could always count on Dean to make Sam see reason. It hurt that Sam thought John hated him, that he wished he was dead. That could never be the case, John wasn't a perfect father by any means but you couldn't question his love for his kids.
"Sam, you don't know how much I wish I could trade places with you right now" John said reached out and wiped Sam's tears away. "I wouldn't wish this on my worse enemy, more importantly my own baby."
"I'm scared" Sam said quietly "so scared! I don't know if I can do this or not"
"Yes you can" John said firmly "Dean and I believe in you. It doesn't hurt that your one of the strongest people I know for having put up with our lifestyle even though you don't want to"
"What about hunting?" Sam asked "what are you going to do while I'm sick?"
"Let's just say we're on a kind of permanent vacation" John said "We're going to focus on getting you better instead of getting revenge."
"You'll see" Dean said smirking at his father "You're going to be just fine, might be a hard road but you'll make it in the end and you will only be made stronger for having gone through it. And me and dad will be there till the end" Dean said reaching out and tugging Sam into his arms. His brother was worth this one chick flick moment.
Not a fun chapter to write especially I'm pretty tired already, but anyways I hope you like it thanks ahead of time for reading and reviewing. Liz