So, yet another chapter. Remind me never to drink a full pot of coffee in one night again! lol. This will be another dark chapter, with some intense understandings as well. I hope you continue enjoying the story! Please please please R&R! Thank you!

Diclaimer: SM owns Twilight.

Chapter 12: Bruno Mars

BPOV

I have been staying at the Cullen's for the last five days now. Five blissful days with the only thing I had to worry about was not falling asleep, and waking Edward up when he would go to sleep.

Even though we were both ending up pretty damned sleep deprived with the return of his nightmares, and mine constantly there still, it was still the best week I had ever had.

Alice made me up every day before school. Guys were starting to check me out at school. Granted, I didn't really like the attention all that much, but it did give me a new sense of confidence.

I had gained a few pounds already, and already felt healthy. The burns were still a pain, literally, but they were healing nicely.

Alice, Emmett, Edward and I hung out almost every night to watch movies, or play videogames. I was actually getting pretty good at shooting people up in Call of Duty. I even beat Edward once, which Emmett told me wasn't really much of an accomplishment because he "Sucks royally at this game". I was still proud though.

The very best part however, was Edward. He had been being a totally different person. I could tell he was struggling with the withdrawals still, but he seemed to be calm whenever I was around. He seemed to decide since Monday morning that my hand was his property. He would take it almost every time I was around him. Nothing else was said about it, but I really don't mind. I was thrilled. I felt safe around him, which was kind of huge. Even just being near him, I felt calmer. I knew he didn't love me, but I think he felt something towards me. Even if he just liked me as a good friend, it was more than I ever would ask for.

I had come to the conclusion though, that I definitely did like him as more than just a friend. I still hadn't decided if it was love or not, because honestly, I wasn't even sure what that was, but I knew I felt different when I was around him. I was happy.

Today however, was going to suck. I knew from experience that if I didn't make an appearance at least at my house, he would soon start looking for me, which I knew would be horrendous. Edward was not happy about the fact that I was going home today, and I didn't blame him. Neither was I. However, this was better than waiting for him to forcefully get me. He would be far more angry if it came to that.

I waited for him by his car after our final classes let out, leaning against it, trying to suppress my nerves. I had gotten used to being in a safe house for awhile, and was not looking forward to going back.

I saw Edward coming over a few minutes later. He didn't look happy. I sighed as he came up, and grabbed my hand with one of his hands, the other running agitatedly through his hair. "Remind me why I am bringing you back to that bastard?" he said without preliminary.

"Because it will be worse if I don't." I answered grimly.

"What time does he go to bed?"

"It changes every night. Just wait until you see the light in the room next to mine turn on for a few minutes, before turning off. He only really goes up there to go to sleep. Wait a few minutes after that. The lights downstairs are also usually off when he is in bed." I respond.

"Fuck. I don't like this." He said pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I know. I'm sorry. Please, I have survived this for a long time, I can handle it." I said.

"You can't expect me to just bring you somewhere to get hurt. Don't ask me to do that." He pleads, and I sigh, resting my forehead against his chest.

"I'm sorry." I whisper.

"Don't be. It's not your fault. I just.." he growls and pulls away, running both hands through his hair as he paces back and forth. I just watch helplessly, knowing this was harder on him than it was on me. I was used to it, he wasn't.

I sigh, and walk over to the passenger side, and slide inside, letting him know that we have to go.

He paces for a few more minutes before getting into the car, slamming the door shut. He leans back a few minutes, trying to calm down before starting the car.

We don't say a word, the silence thick with tension as we drive to my house. Charlie's cruiser is gone when we get there. I move to get out, but Edward stops me, his hand claiming mine again.

"Be careful, alright?" he asks, his voice a broken whisper. I had only seen him so vulnerable when he was in the thralls of a nightmare.

"I will do my best." I promise quietly, before he pulls me into a tight hug. He doesn't let go for a few minutes. When he does, he refuses to look at me, so I take it as my cue to leave.

I slowly got out of his car, and headed inside. The place was a huge fucking mess. I felt the resentment as I started cleaning up after Charlie. After almost a week in a real home, I truly realized just how messed it was that I spent my life cleaning up after Charlie, only to be rewarded with the worst forms of abuse. It was fucked up that the guy I liked was still sitting out in his car, probably battling the urge to come in here and take me away from where we both knew harm would mostly likely find me. It was fucked up that I didn't even remember what it was like to not be in constant pain, and that third degree burns were bearable due to the fact that I had lived through worse—many times. It was fucked up that the last time I had slept peacefully before that one time at Edward's house was when I was either fucked up, or before I was six year old.

There was nothing not fucked up about this situation. There was nothing okay with it, and the most fucked up part about it, was because of who the person hurting me was, there wasn't shit I could do about it, or that anyone could do about it for that matter. Suddenly a year and a half felt like an eternity.

I sighed as I watched Edward finally pull away far too fast.

Once the house was sufficiently clean, I changed into my own clothes so that Alice's wouldn't be ruined, and started a wash cycle with the laundry. Once the laundry was in the dryer, I sat down in the living room to await my punishment so I could just fucking get it over with. The sooner Charlie had his way, the sooner I could get the fuck out of here.

Finally, at around seven PM, Charlie staggered in, obviously having just come from the bar.

"Heh, decided to fucking show up? I would have thought you would have learned by now." He said with a grin.

"Let's just get it over with Charlie." I said with a resigned sigh. I was so sick of this.

"Aww… not going to fight back? It makes it so much more fun." He said with a twisted grin.

I didn't take the bait, I just calmly stood up, and waited.

He went over to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of beer. He opened it, and drank the whole thing in a matter of minutes. When he was done, he grinned and threw it at me. I dodged out of the way, wincing from my legs.

"Heh. That's no fun." He said as he came over, and grabbed me by the throat, pushing me against the wall hard enough to knock the wind out of me. He started squeezing until I couldn't breathe. I gagged, and out of instinct, started clawing at his fingers. He grinned, looking satisfied before he dropped me, leaving me coughing and gagging. He then wound up and kicked me in the gut hard, causing me to bend over in pain. He then slammed his elbow into my back, sending me to the ground. I held back my whimper of pain as he started pulling me into the garage. I started fighting back then. Nothing good ever came out of the garage.

He laughed, and grabbed me by the hair, forcing me to follow after him if I didn't want my hair ripped right out.

Once we were in the Garage, he threw me down, and kicked me a few times before pinning me down again. He looked at me with that same disgusting look he always got when he started thinking I was my mother in his drunken haze. "Renee, you've gotten prettier lately." He said, licking his lips. I struggled harder, shoving my knee up into his groin. He yelled in pain, grabbing his junk. I took that opportunity to try and get up, but before I could, he grabbed me and threw me to the ground again, hitting me several times again. He went and grabbed the rope quickly while I lay there gasping, trying to get air back into my lungs. I kept struggling, but he tied my hands again, before slinging the rope over the beam like he had when he burned me. I started kicking at him as hard as I could, trying to get him away from me. However, a moment later, he grinned, and tied my ankles together again, so I was hanging by my wrists, pretty much immobilized. He stared at his handy work for a moment with a sick grin on his face. Next he grabbed a knife. I felt the air leave my lungs as fear took root, the same knife he used on Renee. It took everything I had to not fucking start crying, as he advanced on me with the knife.

Instead of stabbing me, like I thought he would, he used it to slice off my clothes, not being careful to not cut me, leaving a few shallow cuts on my legs and chest. The one on my right leg was fairly deep though, and bleeding. I closed my eyes, knowing what was going to happen next, and started thinking of the first song lyrics I could think of, to be anywhere but here.

I thought of a song Alice had just shown me a few days ago, from Bruno Mars, the Lazy song, and focused on nothing but trying to remember every lyric to the song I barely knew.

Finally after what seemed like eternity, Charlie grunted and pulled out with a satisfied grunt and let the rope go from the beam, but left me tied up and naked. He kicked me a few times, grinning. "Thanks, much better, my little whore." He said before laughing and going back inside.

I laid there curled up in a ball on the ground, struggling to get the ropes off. Luckily this time, he made them a little looser than last time, probably because of how drunk he was, and I was able to get them off after about an hour of trying. Exhausted, I crawled up to the garage door, and tried to open it, but it was locked. I swore under my breath, and shivered from the cold air. I did not want Edward to find me like this, not naked, and fucking destroyed.

"Today I don't feel like doing anything, I just want to lay in my bed, don't feel like picking up the phone, so leave a message at the tone, because today I swear I'm not doing anything." I whispered to myself as I tried to keep myself intact. I grabbed my clothes that were a bloody mess, and put them on, but they wouldn't stay on.

I noticed something then, a bobbypin on the ground. I wasn't sure how to do it, but I had to try.

It took almost another hour, but I was finally able to get the garage door open. Charlie was passed out on the couch with the light still on, which meant that Edward hadn't try to come yet. It was already late.

I moved as quietly as I could, still rehearsing the lyrics in my head, trying to repress what just happened. I was getting so full of shit I was repressing that it was getting harder and harder.

"Only a year and a half" I whispered, and just kept repeating it over and over again in my head, trying to convince myself it wasn't long, in between lyrics, trying to keep my brain just too busy to think about anything else as I pulled my clothes out of the dryer. I went into the bathroom and cleaned off as much of the blood as I could without using the mirror, and then changed into fresh clothes. I folded Alice's clothes, before sneaking back out. I winced hard from my ribs when I twisted to shut the door behind me. Everything fucking hurt. Stop. I started pacing, trying to get the lyrics back in my head as I walked out of my yard, and looked up and down the street. A moment later, Edward's Volvo pulled up. I barely waited for him to stop before I flung myself into the passenger seat. Edward first looked relieved, then suddenly angry. He pulled over the car a little ways up the road, before turning on the cab.

I watched him, trying my best to keep up my calm façade as he reached his hand up and gently touched my neck where I forgot probably had fucking hand prints.

"I'll fucking kill him." He hissed.

"Don't please.. it's just not worth it. Please, can we just go? Please?" I begged him my voice rough, placing a hand on his arm.

"To hell it's not worth it!" he yelled, not able to contain his anger. Before I knew what happened, my heart rate was accelerating, and all I could see was what had just happened in the garage, his filthy body against mine. I couldn't breathe, and I found myself whispering the song lyrics I had tried to distance myself from it with.

"Bella, snap out of it! Bella, I'm sorry, snap out of it!" I heard vaguely until I felt myself being pulled onto his lap gently.

I started calming down, struggling to catch my breath as he rocked me on his lap awkwardly in the small car seat. "Shh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell." He whispered. His eyes were tortured. I had done that to him.

"Don't be sorry." I rasped, my throat sore as hell. "I'm the one that's sorry. I am so sorry you have to go through this." I whispered because it hurt less.

He sighed, not saying anything, just holding me for a few more minutes.

After a little longer, he finally let go, and I sat back down in the passenger seat. He grabbed my hand possessively before starting to drive. "Bruno Mars, huh?" he asked, obviously trying to lighten the mood.

"Your sister showed me one of his songs earlier this week. It was the first thing I could think of." I rasped out.

"Why did you need a song to think about?" he asked.

I sighed, trying to think of how to answer his question without giving away too much, or making him angry. "It… lets me distance myself, during, and after." I said quietly.

"Distance?" he asked quietly, his grip tightening on the steering wheel.

"I can handle it better if I don't have to think about it, at all. It is just to keep my mind occupied. A song like that is perfect, because I don't know it that well, so I really have to focus to remember the lyrics." I said quietly. Although, the downside was now I suddenly hated that song.

He nods, his jaw tightening. "What did he do?" He asked in a tight voice.

I closed my eyes a second, it was too soon for him to ask that. The images started surfacing again, so I curled up, resting my forehead on my knees, and started trying to play the lyrics in my head again.

"Bella?" he asked, his voice laced with concern. I just raised a finger to him, to tell him to give me a moment while I tried again to rid myself of the nights events.

It took almost the rest of the drive for me to be able to make my mind blank again, but I kept my head on my knees. I was fucking exhausted.

He watched me closely before shutting off the engine, and getting out of the car. He came around the other side, and opened the door, kneeling down beside me. "How often do you do this? Try to distance yourself?" he asked.

"Every time." I said, closing my eyes tiredly.

I knew what I was seeing in his eyes. I knew it wasn't good either. I knew repressing everything would not be beneficial in the long run. I knew that, but I had no way of dealing with it. Even if I did, it didn't matter, because new shit would end up happening again.

"Come on, let's go inside." He said quietly, offering me his hand.

I just nodded silently, not trusting myself to speak yet. I took his hand, and we went inside silently. We both headed upstairs to his room. He lead me to his bed, and I sat down.

He went over and grabbed his notebook, and a book for me, seeming to understand I just needed to be distracted right now. He sat down beside me, close enough that our shoulders were touching, and he just started writing, and I started reading.

No words were passed the rest of the night, both of us doing our damnedest to forget, so when morning came, it could truly be a new day, untainted by the truth of the situation.

It truly was fucked up.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It is not an easy chapter to read, but it was an important chapter as far as showing some of the emotional repercussions, and showing the flaw to dealing the way she has been. Not to mention, it was important that she finally put the situation TRULY into perspective. Obviously, she did know that the situation was bad, but we see her come to the realization of just how bad it is.

Please R&R, please please please... *Alice Pout*