Hey guys! So I am so sorry about the delay. I ended up getting a pretty bad infection, and had to spend some time with the hospital. I still have an IV in my hand, so its slowing my down a bit, but I wanted to get at least another chapter out!

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Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight

Chapter 14: Bending to Break

BPOV

The shopping trip felt like it took forever. Rosalie still refused to talk to me, and that made everything fairly awkward. Edward wasn't in a great mood either, though Alice tried to make up for it, talking a mile a minute. Emmett was also great, being perfect at breaking the tension.

The best part though, was easily when Emmett decided they we all had to ride the carousel. He made us all get on, and I am sure we all felt ridiculous, but he just hollered the whole time, and laughed like a little kid. It was hilarious.

Jasper also kept the tension pretty low, telling some funny jokes, and some hilarious stories about previous parties. My favorite story he told was one about Jessica Stanley trying to hit on Edward during her stalking phase, where she stripped in front of him in a crowded party for everyone to see, then proceeded to puke all over him. Edward wasn't as fond of this story, but it had me cracking up.

When we got home, we had way too many bags. Alice insisted on buying me a whole new wardrobe of clothes. There were a lot of times that she tried to get me to get things like skirts and tank tops, but I had to veto those.

Edward helped me carry the stuff up to the guestroom, which everyone else was just calling my room. Alice told me to just put the stuff in the closet there, because I was there more than at my own house. I couldn't argue with that.

When we got into the guest room, I lay all the bags down on the bed before laying down for a second, completely exhausted. Edward sat down next to me, looking equally tired.

"If someone could find a way to use Alice to power all of the power needs in the world, we would never run out." I muttered, and Edward laughed a little.

"Yeah, especially when shopping is involved. " He said, before laying down next to me. "You look tired." He said.

"You too." I muttered through a yawn.

He nodded, and took my hand quietly as we both recovered from the trip. I was dreading the party tonight. I really didn't have the energy, and I wasn't sure how I felt about Edward going to a party where it was likely his old crowd hung out, and would likely have drugs.

I turned so I was facing him on the bed. "Edward, are you sure you want to go? If you don't want to, I can just go with Alice alone. She won't be too happy if I cancel, but you can get out of it if you want."

"Not a fucking chance." He said with a grimace. "Remember all those notes you got today? The fucking threats and shit? Yeah, well all of those people are probably going to be there." He said in a stern voice.

"Edward, you don't need to protect me, I am capable of that." I said with a huff.

"Clearly." He said, his voice thick with sarcasm as he eyed me up and down.

"Fuck you. That's different. He's not a stupid high schooler." I stated, starting to get mad.

"No, but there is only one of him, and a shit ton of the others."

"I already told you, it will be fine."

"You're not going alone." He said with a sense of finality.

I sat up, crossing my arms over my chest gingerly. "Edward, let me make one thing clear. I can take care of myself. I have been doing it for a long time—"

"Yeah, and look where it's gotten you!" he all but shouted.

I could feel my heartbeat raising uncomfortably at the shouting, but did my best to ignore it. "Hey, at least I am still alive. If anyone else had been in my shoes, they would have fucking offed themselves already, but I didn't. I survived. I always survive."

"Yeah, you may have survived, but you sure as hell aren't fucking thriving. Have you looked in a fucking mirror lately? You may be doing better right now, but you are fucking skinny as shit, and you can't even fucking sleep." He argues.

"You're one to talk." I snort.

"Yeah, I am one to fucking talk. At least I got out, and I may have dealt with my shit fucking badly, but I dealt with it. You don't fucking deal with it at all, you just pretend it never fucking happened!" he shouts louder.

I could feel the weight stomping down on my chest, the air coming in thinner. I was close to losing it again. "I know it happened, I know it does happen. I don't forget anything, I just do what I have to, so I can survive." I whisper, trying to keep the panic forming in my chest at bay, before I get up and walk out of the room. I didn't want to see him, and I didn't want him to see me fucking break down, then he would have more reason to think I was incapable.

I left the house as quickly as I could, and went straight into the dense forests around his house. As I walked, I did everything I could to try to suppress the oncoming panic attack. I had fucking just ruined everything with Edward. I knew it was for the best in the back of my mind if he never wanted to see me again, he could finally be safe.

I didn't make it much further before I collapsed against a tree, hugging my knees to my chest. I tried to manage my breathing, and stop thinking about anything.

Finally after about a half an hour of thinking of anything but Edward, or Charlie, or anything that mattered, I managed to calm myself down. I was exhausted as all hell, and the last thing I wanted to do now was go to a goddamned party, but I knew Alice would be upset if I didn't. I didn't want to worry anyone more than they already were.

I made my way back to the house slowly, exhaustion weighing on my every step. My hands were shaking, and I am sure I looked like hell from my almost panic attack.

When I got back inside, I went straight to Alice's room to get ready for said party.

"Bella, what happened? Did my idiot of a brother say something!?" She said as soon as she opened the door and took in my face.

"No, I'm fine. I am just tired." I say with a forced smile.

"We don't have to go." She said quietly, looking down at the floor with a sad look in her eye.

"No, we are going. I told you I would go.

"Alright. Then let's get ready." She visibly perked, but I could still see the concern in her eyes.

Two hours later, I was dressed in a pair of designer jeans she had picked out for me, along with a fitted sweater, and some designer flats. She had my hair done up to the nines in a crazy updo with small braids and crimped pieces, and some curly pieces along with my straight hair. I figured the effect would be silly, but it actually looked really cool.

"Ready?" She asked as she grabbed her pocketbook.

"As I'll ever be." I said with a wry smile.

As we headed out, Edward came out of his room, not looking at me, but followed us.

"Is that what you're wearing?!" Alice practically screeched at Edward when she saw his plain black jeans and his black Metallica T-shirt.

"Yeah, it's not a fucking fashion show, Alice, it's a fucking Fork's house party." He said in a monotone voice.

I looked over at him, trying to gauge how badly I had fucked up. I knew it must have been pretty bad when he kept looking absolutely anywhere but at me. I half wondered why he was still going. I doubt he would want to 'protect' me after the fight we just had.

Maybe he just wanted to get fucked up again.

Maybe I didn't blame him if he did.

The drive to the party was tense. Edward didn't say a word, and neither did I. Even Alice seemed to be subdued by the atmosphere, and said nothing.

As soon as we got there, Alice jumped out of the car, and ran over to me as I exited. She grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the door with a large grin on her face. "This is going to be awesome!" She said, bouncing up and down. Edward followed silently behind us.

I wished I could share some of Alice's enthusiasm, especially since I knew she was just trying to lighten the mood, but it was lost on me right now. I knew that if Edward walked away, it would be the best thing for him, but I was already mourning the loss. I was pissed at him for the shit he said, but I knew where he was coming from. He was upset by the circumstances I involved him in. He clearly had his own shit to deal with, and I just piled more on.

However, one comment struck a chord, every time I thought back to our fight. "At least I got out, I dealt with my shit fucking badly, but I dealt with it."

What did that mean? Did he have similar situations himself? I couldn't see how, considering who his parents were. I knew Esme was his step mom, but I knew damn well that Carlisle wasn't that type of man.

I was now more curious than ever to find out what his nightmares were about. What were Edward Cullen's demons?

I sighed to myself as we entered into the household.

The hose was jam packed with teenage bodies humping and gyrating to awful music, and the air was laced with the smell of pot and alcohol. Red solo cups were everywhere, and everyone was ridiculously loud. I already was feeling uncomfortable.

"Jazzy!" Alice squealed, before running into the kitchen and launching herself at a mildly amused looking Jasper, as if they hadn't just seen each other a couple hours earlier. I looked over, and saw Emmett and Rosalie making out with each other in a corner, practically having sex right out in the open. I groaned a little at that.

I made my way carefully towards the kitchen, trying to avoid touch with any of the guys there. I was on edge already, and was quickly realizing that alcohol was probably the only way I was going to make it through this party.

I grabbed a cup, and poured the closest liquor into it, not even paying attention to what it was. I almost spilled the contents of the cup, my hands were shaking so bad.

I didn't know why I was reacting this way. Sure, I had been a bit uncomfortable around guys lately, but I had been to parties before. They never bothered me in the past.

I looked around, and saw Edward was leaning seemingly casually against a wall, holding a beer. His eyes constantly sweeping around. I wondered what he was looking for.

I drank a few sips of my drink, just leaning against the counter, trying to keep my distance from everyone. A few minutes later, my stomach twisted uncomfortably as I saw James approaching. However, before he could make it to me, Edward grabbed James wrist, and started talking to him. James was grinning, and a few minutes later, they walked outside together. I could feel lead drop into my stomach. He was going to get more, he was going to use again.

I started to make my way through the bodies, feeling the weight on my chest grow as guys got too close. I just needed to get outside to him. He had gone too far to go back. I had to stop him from making the biggest mistake he could make.

Suddenly, I felt an arm thrown around my shoulders, and I couldn't breathe.

Burning, I could smell my flesh burning as Charlie grinned at me. Then somehow I was on the floor of the basement, reciting words in my head to Romeo and Juliet to tune out Charlie's hands all over me, and to try to block the steady rough rhythm as he slammed himself into me.

EPOV

I was fucking pissed. Bella was fucking infuriating sometimes. She claims she is doing fine, that she survives, but it was bullshit. I knew I may have fucking said too much to her, and pushed her, but maybe that is what needed to happen. Or at least until she fucking left, clearly fucking broken.

I honestly wish I was more pissed than I actually was. I was Edward Cullen, I didn't take this shit from anyone. I kept telling myself that I was angry, but really, I was fucking scared shitless. She was cracking right before me, I could see it. For now, I was more worried that I had pushed her too far.

For now I was just going to keep my distance, give her some room. However, there was no way I wasn't going to that party still. I wasn't going to leave her fucking unprotected around all those fucking bitches and pricks. I didn't even know how she was going to handle it. I don't know how much thought she had put into it, but it seemed like I was the only guy she could go near without going into a full on panic attack. This place was teeming with fucking guys.

Suddenly, I saw him, James. I was seeing red. Although Bella never told me who was supplying her with the drugs before, I knew it was fucking him. She didn't know anyone else who would give her shit. He was also the only person I knew who would fucking do anything to get a newbie hooked, preying on their weaknesses all in the name of helping them.

He was headed straight forward, so I immediately grabbed his wrist, forcing my face to twist into a smile.

"Edward, how have you been? No hard feelings, yeah?" He grins a little, eyeing me.

"Nah, no hard feelings." I said, doing my best to sound pleasant.

"Look, I was just going to visit a friend real quick." James said.

"Actually, I was wondering if we could talk outside, clear the air, y'know?" I said, forcing that smile to stay on my face. "Marcus doesn't have the same shit you do." I said, playing to his opportunistic side.

"Edward, I am always happy to help. Let by gones be by gones." He said, smirking a little as we both headed outside. Fucking idiot. He really thought I had forgiven him?

We walk in silence into the forest behind Newton's house, before I stop him.

"So what were you looking for, some coke? Maybe some Xanax? Or would you like a ride on the nostalgia train of our lady China White?" He asks with a grin.

Before he has a chance to respond, I pull my fist back and throw it into his jaw with a satisfying crack.

"Cullen, you are really going to fucking regret that!" He spat before he charged at me. I easily dodged to the side, and used his momentum to throw him towards the tree. When he regains his bearings, he looks livid.

"What, is this about your fucking fucked up girlfriend?" He grins, his eyes black with rage and malice.

"I told you to stay the fuck away from her, you fucking parasite!" I hissed.

"How could I? She was so pathetic. She needed help, and who was I to deny that sexy little cunt?" He grinned disgustingly.

"You should have stayed away." I growled.

"How could I? She was practically throwing herself at me." He smirked as soon as he knew I got his implication.

"You fucking bastard!" I spat as rage consumed me and I ran at him. I pinned him to the tree, and the punches just let loose until he was fucking cowering like the coward he was. I kept hitting him, letting out all of the fucking rage I felt at him, at Bella's dad, at all of the shit that was piling up.

"Edward!" I heard, and I turned around a moment, seeing Alice run towards me, looking panicked. I made one more glance down at James, who was so fucking beat up he couldn't even stand. I spat at him before I loped towards Alice.

"What's wrong Alice?" I asked, my rage somewhat subdued.

"It's Bella! Mike put his arm around her, I think he was just trying to be friendly, but she.. she.." Alice looked ready to cry.

"What happened, Alice?" I repeated, feeling my fists clenching and unclenching.

"I don't know, it was like when Emmett touched her, but worst. She is screaming, and thrashing around and and… I don't know what to do! I tried to wake her up, but nothing is working!" She pleaded, tears forming in her eyes.

We both ran back inside of the house, and the closer I got, the more I could hear the screams. The music had turned off.

When I got inside, my heart nearly fucking stopped beating. Bella was on the floor of the party, curled up in a tense ball, tossing and turning, tears running down her cheeks as she let out the most gut wrenching fucking screams. Everyone was fucking dead quiet, just standing around staring at her. Jasper was sitting by her, trying to calm her down, but it was just making it worse. His eyes were panicked as he tried to yell at her to wake up. Emmett was standing like a bodyguard, making it clear to everyone that they weren't getting any closer.

A moment later, I was running over towards Bella, before dropping to my knees in front of her. I vaguely saw Alice run to Jasper out of the corner of my eye, and he held her as she started crying.

I pulled Bella into my arms, and started rocking her back and forth, stroking her hair away from her face. She immediately started to calm down, and I was fucking thankful.

It took awhile, but she finally came out of it. Her eyes fluttered opened, and she just looked fucking dead exhausted, her eyes barely focusing.

"Edward, you don't hate me…?" She asked quietly, and I sighed, pressing my forehead against hers.

"I couldn't if I tried." I whispered.

I stood slowly, her body completely limp with exhaustion in my arms. Jasper was fucking looking at me like I had just pulled a miracle out of my ass, and Alice was watching, looking relieved, but still upset. Emmett was trying to clear us a path to get out to the car, and surprisingly, Rosalie was helping him now.

Finally, I got her out to the car, and sat in the backseat, not letting go of her. She was resting her head against my chest tiredly, and just fucking defeated.

If Bella wasn't more fucking important, Newton would be mince meat, but I couldn't leave her like this. Newton better fucking thank his lucky stars.

Bella looked up at my eyes a moment, like she was studying something, before she let out a slight sigh of relief. I looked at her questioningly, but she just shook her head, with a small smile playing at her lips.

"You should get some rest." I whispered to her, and she nodded slightly, barely able to keep her eyes open.

I didn't let go of her once as Jasper drove Alice's car home. As soon as we got there, I picked her up, and brought her up to my room. Rules be fucking damned, there was no way in hell I was leaving her alone tonight.

I brought her to my bed, and laid her down gently, before laying down beside her, and wrapping my arms back around her, holding her tightly to my body.

She stayed fast asleep, and eventually, I drifted off as well to the sound of her soft breathing.

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