Author's Note: Thanks again to the lovely Ozhawk for being an awesome beta, ass kicker and rabid plot bunny hunter extraordinaire as well as a huge thanks to those of you reading and commenting.

Chapter Nine: Revelations

He could see the indecision warring on Shay's face but was mildly relieved when she nodded. Turning he exited the room and made his way back downstairs to settle on the couch. Clint watched silently as Shay moved into the lounge, dropping her knapsack on one of the arm chairs before she positioned herself on the arm of the couch furthest from him.

Running a hand through his hair again Clint sighed and repositioned himself to face Shay, letting his hand drop from his hair to rest on the back of the couch, watching as she crossed her ankles and made herself comfortable. "I'm sorry for shutting you out Shay. My life hasn't exactly been conducive to building trust."

"When I found out about what happened at the Triskelion and was unable to get in touch with those I do trust, well I guess I went into survival mode and forgot that you…" Trailing off momentarily he tried to find the word he was after.

"Existed?" He blinked as she spoke, before her choice of words registered causing him to wince.

"Blunt, but technically accurate. You're now in a sense an extension of me and I should have trusted you, protected you and let you know what was going on in here." He lifted one hand and tapped his temple.

"Instead I withdrew into old habits and left you in the dark, not to mention put you at risk. If you'd ignored my advice and gone outside, well let's just say I've set a lot of traps around the property." He chanced a glimpse at Shay who was simply sitting there silently watching him with one brow arched slightly upwards.

"You saw some of my file, I've been a killer most of my life. Two years ago I could count the number of people I trust on one hand before that circle expanded." Clint suspected he was rambling, not that he'd ever actually admit to that, but he wasn't used to discussing himself with anybody.

"You have trust issues, I get that Clint, I truly do, but how does that excuse you being an utter asshole?" The soft tone of her voice combined with her choice of words caught him off guard, namely because she'd called him Clint, not Barton.

"I guess it doesn't, but you still needed to know. When your brother tries to kill you when you're fifteen it can screw you up more than you'd expect." Settling his back against the couch he closed his eyes while dropping his head back to rest upon the couch back.

He knew his life was one giant screw up after another, and now he'd just gone and managed to screw up possibly the one good thing he had deep down been looking forward to.

Shay stared at him, still uncertain, but beginning to understand. Clint's file had disappeared off the internet less than a day after appearing – as had most of the other SHIELD files – but she'd seen enough to know that his background was about as bad as it could possibly be. She supposed it was pretty much inevitable, given that background and his career as an assassin, that he would have serious trust issues.

The change in his demeanour was obvious to her, in the span of thirty minutes he'd gone from being smiling, happy and relaxed to glowering, miserable and tense and she felt bad for being part of the cause. Spinning around on the arm of the couch Shay rose and moved towards Clint before flopping ungracefully onto the couch beside him the back of her hand resting against his.

"Clint, I understand that you're a private person and probably have a history of keeping things bottled up, but if this….if we are going to work I need you to at least try and share with me what's going on." Nudging his arm lightly with her shoulder Shay turned her head to meet his sky blue eyes, those eyes really were hypnotic with how their colour randomly changed.

"I know I told you that I never wanted this but I was upset and angry when I said that. I've seen a lot of bad shit happen between soulmates and very little good, but I want to give us a shot." Shay felt the brush of calloused fingers against hers briefly before they entwined with hers and a slight smile graced Clint's face.

Shay felt her lips twitch into a slight grin in return before she dropped her head to rest lightly on his shoulder, though when her stomach rumbled loudly and drew a low chuckle from Clint she groaned. "This is not funny, that canned crap we've been eating has no nutritional benefit."

"It's a little funny and that canned crap as you put it can keep you alive regardless of nutrition." The teasing note to his voice caused Shay to chuckle softly. Pushing herself off the couch she tugged their entangled hands in an attempt to get him to stand.

"Come on, if we're going to be sharing deep, dark secrets then I think we both need to eat something decent first." As he rose with practised ease Shay couldn't help studying the way his muscles flexed with each movement.

"So long as you're not cooking darlin', the last time you cooked you managed to burn the beans." His voice rumbled still with that teasing tone as the slight smile he wore turned into a wicked grin. Shay rolled her eyes and started towards the kitchen, Clint a step behind her.

"Excuse me, you were the one who walked into the kitchen fresh out of the shower in nothing but those damned sweatpants while still damp, distracting me, so of course I burnt the beans." Shay quipped turning to face Clint as she stepped backwards into the kitchen, stopping briefly until he came into her personal space.

"But if you want to cook, be my guest, I'll quite happily cut vegetables and watch you slave over a hot stove." Shay sassed.

A glint appeared in Clint's eye, as he leaned closer murmuring "Do I distract you, darlin'?"

Shay swallowed, her gaze drifting from Clint's eyes to his mouth and back. "I think you know you do." Shay said quietly.

"We might not have been talking much, but that doesn't mean we haven't both been looking, you know that as well as I do." Shay brought her free hand up, curling it about the nape of Clint's neck, as she leant in closing the slight distance between them to briefly capture his mouth with her own.

Pulling back from Clint's mouth Shay took a small amount of satisfaction in the low groan he made as he rested his forehead against hers before he groused "Now that's just cruel."

She couldn't help the smile that tugged at her mouth. Stepping out of Clint's personal space Shay turned towards the kitchen counter and with a slight shrug of her shoulders said "A little, yes, but you deserved it. Back to the topic on hand however, we are going to talk even if it's while making dinner."

"I don't do well with emotional darlin', I do physical so much better. Sure I can't distract you?" Shaking her head and slipping free of Clint's grasp, Shay sauntered to the kitchen counter where she began to rifle through the grocery bags.

When Clint joined her at the counter Shay handed him the two steaks, as she prepped the vegetables he started on the steaks. As they worked Shay quietly listened as Clint opened up, sharing heartbreaking stories about his childhood and even more brutal adolescence.

Clint had to admit he found it easier to talk about his past with Shay while she kept busy flitting around the kitchen, not staring at him, though he found himself staring at her as she reached up into the cupboards.

Turning his attention back to the grill plate Clint was more than a little nervous over what Shay's reaction to his past was going to be, he couldn't get a read on her reaction to what he'd revealed so far. As he'd been speaking she'd been deathly silent, her attention focused on anything but him which didn't help to alleviate his nervousness any.

Deep down Clint had a feeling that at the end of the night Shay would be walking out that door and out of his life and that thought twisted like a knife in his gut. He'd only just finished sharing the story of how his brother had almost killed him and the only insight he had as to what Shay was thinking was the sharp intake of her breath and clatter of the cutlery as she'd dropped it and glanced briefly in his direction.

When two plates piled with a mixture of steamed and grilled vegetables appeared in his peripheral vision Clint placed a piece of steak on each plate. Turning the grill off he moved to the fridge, grabbing out two beers before moving towards the table where Shay was setting the plates down.

Handing one of the bottles off to Shay, Clint arched one brow upwards as he watched her pop the cap off the beer bottle against the table and take a long drink. Popping his own open he took a swig as he tugged the chair out with his foot and sat down at the table.

As they ate in a companionable silence Clint internally debated over whether or not to reveal the biggest mistake of his life to Shay. Finally, after finishing his meal he pushed his plate forward on the table and reached for his beer, rolling the bottle between his hands.

Taking a large swig of his beer Clint took a moment to steady himself, this revelation would likely be the one to drive Shay from his life, shattering his already fractured heart entirely into tiny irreparable pieces. Turning slightly in his seat so he could try to gauge her reaction he blurted "I was married, once."

Shay spluttered and coughed as her mouthful of beer went down the wrong way, turning to stare at him as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand before asking "I'm sorry, I'm not sure I heard that correctly. Did you just say that you're married?"

"Was married," he corrected quietly. Blinking, Shay tried to process that particular piece of information; as far as she knew most soulmates refrained from marrying until they'd found each other.

Shay could hear the slightest waver in his voice but couldn't quite place exactly what it was; rising from her seat she gathered her plate and retreated to the sink to clean up while she tried to get her whirling thoughts and emotions under control.

As she worked cleaning up the dishes Shay listened as Clint told the story; he'd followed her to the sink and now sat on the edge of the counter to her left as he continued his tale of entrapment at the hands of a devious woman.

The deeper Clint got into the tale the more Shay heard his voice wavering, when he revealed that his wife had tricked him into believing she was his soulmate she was struck with the overwhelming desire to wring the unknown woman's neck and instead contented herself to wringing the dishcloth between her hands as she muttered "Bitch."

Turning her head to look at Clint, Shay found herself looking into wary smoky eyes. Dropping the dishcloth she dried her hands on the towel before reaching out to brush the backs of her fingers against his hand as she spoke. "Hey, I'm not going anywhere. Your past isn't going to make me run like some scared teenager. In fact knowing that your life has been just as rough if not rougher than mine makes me want this to work."

Well, that certainly hadn't been the reaction he was expecting. Sliding off the counter, Clint turned to face Shay as she stepped closer and wrapped her arms around his waist while tilting her head slightly upwards to look at him. He reached one hand up to run it through her hair, in awe of the acceptance he both saw in her eyes and heard in her words.

"I may not have known much about you, Clint, but that doesn't mean I didn't already care for you."

"Shay," he uttered, absolutely awed by her faith in him. He wanted to kiss her quite desperately, but her next words stopped him cold.

"There's one more thing I need to know. Who was that woman, and what does her coming here mean for you? For us?"

He took a deep breath and let her go, stepping back. "That was Maria Hill. She used to be second-in-command of SHIELD. My boss, in effect. She gave me some good news about my friends – well, about the very few people I call friends. They all made it through the Triskelion disaster okay. SHIELD's gone but we're regrouping in Stark Industries – privatising global security, Maria called it. My record's clear and I can go back to the Tower and get back to work with the Avengers any time I want."

The happy, relaxed expression had come back to his face as he spoke.

"That's really great, Clint," Shay said honestly. "But – what does that mean for me?"

He gave her a puzzled look, not understanding.

"I'm listed as a missing person, and as a person of interest in the case of Tyler's shooting. I can't just go back to New York and walk back into my old life. Nor do I plan to stay a fugitive forever."

Oh my God, I totally forgot to tell Maria to fix that. The thought raced through Clint's mind as he stared at Shay, and he slowly flushed with guilt. God, he'd been a total selfish asshole, hadn't he? Hadn't thought of Shay's predicament at all.

"I'm gonna fix that," he said firmly, grabbed one of his burner phones and dialled a number. "JARVIS, it's Clint. Are you talking to me again? Good. I've got a problem I need you to fix…"

Shay thought, as she watched Clint, that he seemed to come alive again now he had a problem to deal with, a target to aim at. His eyes flashed electric blue, his hands moved animatedly as he strode back and forth in the kitchen. He'd never looked sexier to her.

The deeper Clint got into his conversation the more he paced, which lead to Shay's gaze focusing on that magnificent denim clad ass, licking her suddenly dry lips she realised that she really needed to get out of the kitchen.

She made her way silently down the hallway and out onto the porch, the chill growing in the air helped to clear the lusty haze from her head. Hoisting herself onto the porch railing Shay rested her back against one of the support pillars, her legs dangling freely either side of the rail.

Closing her eyes Shay listened to the quiet stillness of the night, the stillness occasionally being broken by the hoot of an owl, the creak of the porch's flyscreen door alerting her to Clint's presence mere moments before her leg collided with his as he murmured "Here you are. I wondered where you got to."

"Sorry, needed to clear my head. You have a rather devastating effect on me." The quiet creak of the railing told her without having to look that Clint had sat back against the railing, as his hand came to rest on her left knee she forced her eyes open only to see Clint intently studying her.

"Why?" His low question had Shay blinking in confusion before he hastily clarified "I mean you told me you never wanted a soulmate and that you'd seen some bad shit happen between soulmates. So my question is why?"

Clint watched her silently, her eyes flashing with too many warring emotions for him to pinpoint her current state of mind, when Shay quietly sighed and pulled her right leg onto the rail with her knee close to her chest, hugging her arms around her knee she turned her head slightly to look over his shoulder and he wasn't entirely certain she was going to answer.

"My parents were soulmates. Like most of the stories things started out great, they fell in love, got married, had a kid, you know the usual."

Her tone of voice was cautious, Clint caught that much, but there was the slightest tinge of sadness to it and he got the impression that whatever she was about to share was very rarely discussed.

"I think I was like six the first time it happened? My mom and I came home from….well I'm not sure where we'd been honestly, I don't remember a lot of it actually. My mom had put me in my room for a nap, but there was too much noise in the other room, I remember going to see what was going on."

When she sucked in a shaky breath Clint suspected she was reliving whatever she was sharing in her head, he didn't miss the slight tremble in her hands as they clutched tightly at her shin.

"My mom was on the floor blood covering part of her face, I think I ran to her scared, but I never made it, a solid hand shoved me away towards the wall before I reached her and everything went black. When I woke it was to a sterile white room, fire burning through my arm. I was six years old and my father shoved me apparently with the same amount of force you would a grown man, I was apparently lucky to come away with a concussion and my arm broken in two places."

Clint listened silently, his anger seething just below the surface as Shay recounted more incidents of abuse at her father's hands, though when he caught the slightest change in her voice he reached out to easily turn her on the rail and slipped closer wrapping one arm around her shoulders supportively giving a gentle squeeze to urge her to continue if she could.

"I was fifteen when he killed her, I came home from school and found the apartment trashed, I could hear my dad's voice in their bedroom and assumed he'd been talking to mom." Shay shifted slightly then leaning into Clint's body as one hand fisted into the front of his t-shirt as she took a reassuring breath before continuing.

"I found him screwing our twenty-something neighbour into their bed, my mom was crumpled on the floor like a rag doll, her mirror shattered around her and there was so much blood, I must have made a sound of some sort because suddenly my dad's gaze was locked on me with a feral snarl on his face."

When Shay suddenly turned her face into his shoulder to stifle an anguished cry, Clint stroked her back soothingly, internally he was absolutely furious but he locked that part away knowing that right know she didn't need him running off on a vengeful killing spree.

"The look on his face Clint, I knew deep down I was next. The way he licked his lips as his eyes raked over my body, I think he was going to try to replace my mom with me. So I left, bolted for my room and locked my door, I threw a heap of my clothes into my mom's old duffle bag, took the cash she'd been hiding in my room for my education and clambered out the window."

Shay chanced a look at Clint, his face was emotionless, his eyes however told her an entirely different story. She could almost see his anger as a living being deep within those enigmatic eyes. Clearing the sudden lump from her throat she forced her eyes shut to prevent her tears from flowing.

Forcing himself off the railing Clint gently pulled Shay to her feet and into his chest, he'd thought nothing could be worse than what he'd had to endure during his adolescence, how wrong he was though, he did make a note to get JARVIS to try and find any information on Shay's father when he got back to the tower, if the man still lived he'd just made a very deadly and dangerous enemy.

"Clint?"

The soft whisper of his name had Clint dropping his head slightly to look into her eyes as he murmured "Yeah?"

"Distract me. Make me forget, please?"

His heart twisted at the pained tone of her voice, leaning in to close the gap between them Clint claimed her mouth, at first he used feather soft kisses, but as Shay whimpered quietly against his lips he pulled her firmly into his chest deepening the kiss as he started to back her towards the door into the house.