Author's Note: Usual disclaimers apply I own no one by Shay and the other OC's. No apologies for Shay's serious foul language aimed at Phil. Also we learn a little more about Shay's past and learn how it in part connected to Clint's past at the Academy.
Chapter Fourteen: Mistakes
In all her life Shay had never been more thankful for a soft comfy couch, the seats on that damnable jump jet May had brought them in had been hard, Clint had definitely followed through on his threat of her not being able to sit down without thinking of him, the smug smirk he'd worn all through the flight as she'd shifted restlessly trying to get comfortable told her he knew it too.
With a content sigh she wriggled into the plump cushion as Clint settled beside her with their thighs touching, settling her head to his shoulder she entwined their fingers as they waited for this mysterious Director to show up.
When she heard the quiet creak of the door as it started to open, Shay had to blink as she watched Clint's entire demeanour and body language change, the smug grin and relaxed set of his eyes turned to a steely deadpan expression, his hand slid free of hers as he slid across the couch separating them by a good foot.
Shay had had to brace her hand quickly into the cushion to prevent her from toppling sideways at the sudden loss of his muscular body beside her, straightening up she folded her hands primly in her lap.
The man now seated beside her seemed almost an entirely different person to the one she'd been living with this past week, though when she thought back on it she'd seen glimpses of this steely, closed off man on occasion but nothing quite as severe as what she now saw.
Her chocolate gaze focused on the door at almost the exact same time Clint's steely one did as a man, in his late forties maybe, standing a little shorter than Clint at possibly five foot nine with brown hair and piercing blue eyes, stepped across the threshold.
From her peripheral vision Shay saw Clint tense, his hands clenching into fists upon his knees, his entire body screaming out silently in seething rage, his muscular body rose from the couch before adopting a menacing stance with his arms tightly crossed over his chest as he snapped in a vicious growl "What the fuck, Coulson. Fury told us you were dead, we all fucking mourned for you!"
The raw emotion in Clint's voice was evident to Shay, he was angry yes but at the same time he was hurting and it broke her heart to see, as her gaze darted between the two men she found herself quietly wondering what they were to each other.
What had this strange man once been to Clint, she got the distinct impression they'd definitely once been friends, yet she got the feeling there was more as well, had they been family or, fuck even lovers? Was she encroaching on someone else's territory here? Because this was way more than just shock at seeing an unexpectedly alive friend.
Shrinking slightly back into the couch Shay tried to make herself unnoticeable, though when the older man calling Clint by name was met with a menacing growl she blinked as piercing blue eyes fell upon her before turning back to Clint as the other man changed tactics and instead stated flatly "Barton, I was clinically dead. Though for how long I was dead seems to be a matter of debate. Further details are classified."
"Why the fuck would Fury keep that from us? Why would he not tell Nat and I, or hell even the rest of the Avengers, that the man responsible for bringing us together was still alive?"
There was a slight waver to Clint's voice that Shay couldn't pinpoint and it wasn't until he turned his back on the other man and looked at her that she worked out what it was; he was crying, this whole situation was hurting him deeply and by the expression on his face he felt ashamed of the fact that he was letting his hurt show so freely.
Pushing herself rather awkwardly up out of the spongy couch cushion Shay crossed to Clint, reached up to drape her arms across his shoulder and gently tugged him into a hug till his head lowered to rest on her shoulder, his face pressed into her neck as those muscular arms encircled her waist.
From the corner of her eye Shay spotted that the older man; Coulson, that was what Clint had called him, had moved and was curiously watching them with one brow quirked upwards in bewilderment as she started to stroke one hand soothingly through Clint's short sandy hair.
She got the impression that Clint had deeply trusted and cared for this man and his apparent death had obviously affected not only him greatly, and now suddenly he was just up and walking around again without letting anyone who had cared for him know?
Levelling an icy glare at Coulson, Shay snarled vehemently "Look, I don't know half of what the fuck is going on here, but I really think you need to get the fuck off your classified high horse, put on your big boy pants and take some fucking responsibility for the fucking fact you at least had some part in not notifying people who obviously cared for you that you were actually alive and fucking well."
Clint's low snort of laughter at her outburst brushed against the delicate skin of her throat, making her shiver slightly, in the next instant Shay felt his arms tighten around her waist and draw her discreetly closer into him as he shifted imperceptibly to keep his body between hers and Coulson's.
"Seriously, what the fuck is it with men being emotional fucking cripples?" Shay groused and was almost certain she heard a laugh other than Clint's come from outside the slightly cracked open door of the office, as an after thought she tacked on "I'm Shay, by the way since introductions apparently aren't something you Secret Agent Dudes are good at."
"Phil Coulson, Director of SHIELD and apparently an emotional cripple." Shay blinked, looking at Coulson from around one of Clint's biceps, she couldn't tell whether or not there was a slight upwards tilt to his mouth as his eyes drifted over them critically which lead her to assume he was assessing her with Clint, this assumption was assumed confirmed as Coulson queried "You're his soulmate, I take it?"
Shay felt the tension return to Clint's body as his head lifted from her neck and turned towards Coulson with a low growl of "She is, not that it's any concern of yours currently, since I don't work for you."
Coulson gave him a bland look. "Technically, Barton, you're still on SHIELD's payroll. You might not have been accessing the money, but it is still being deposited in your bank account."
When Clint turned his head back to look at her, Shay could see the indecision warring in his eyes as they began to seemingly flicker between colors, one minute they'd been a cold steel grey, the next a chilly icy blue before darkening and settling on almost pitch black.
Blinking as Clint suddenly stepped from her and turned towards Coulson with his arms casually crossed silently staring the other man down, Shay could tell Clint was righteously pissed off, the aggression thrumming through him as the muscles in his shoulders twitched almost indiscernibly before he eventually snarled "You know what Coulson, you can shove your salary where the sun don't shine."
Shay had to bite down on her lip in an effort not to chuckle as Coulson's lips pursed and one of his eyebrows twitched as Clint turned on one booted foot to storm from the office, before she could even move to follow May had stepped into the office shutting the door behind her.
"Soulmates, can't live with them, can't kill them." Shay had to blink at that comment as her gaze drifted to May who was looking at her with a slight smirk, she definitely got the impression that comment came from a lot of experience.
It was hard not to miss the warning glare Coulson was giving to May so Shay started to make her way towards the door figuring that she should probably go find Clint, reaching for the door handle she stopped suddenly as it occurred to her that she had no idea where Clint would go.
Before she could even turn to ask the question Shay was met with the answer as May's voice carried quietly through the now silent office "He'll either be in the gym or the shooting range."
May had thankfully given her the directions to get to both locations from Coulson's office, as she was pulling the office door shut she heard May say "I told you to call them, but would you listen?"
Taking into account the barely contained anger she'd seen boiling beneath the surface in Clint Shay decided to check the shooting range first, mentally recounting May's directions she made her way through the confusing hallways wondering on more than one occasion how Clint had even known what direction to go in.
Clint had contemplated going to the shooting range to release some of his pent up anger, but then thought better of it. Putting a weapon in his hands right now was probably the worst idea imaginable, so he'd instead opted to go to the gym.
He'd shed his well loved leather jacket and t-shirt on one of the benches, wrapped his hands and had immediately moved to the punching bag and began throwing wild punch after punch to expend the anger roiling within him.
Coulson had been the closest thing he'd had to a father and Clint just couldn't wrap his head around the fact that he had kept the fact he was alive a secret, from not only him but Nat and the rest of the team as well.
Though he was silently proud that Shay had chewed Coulson out over that decision, her foul mouth earning her bonus points, he was pretty sure that entire conversation was a record for the amount of times he heard her say some variation of the word fuck.
As immersed as he'd been in his own thoughts and taking out his frustrations on the bag he hadn't heard the gym doors opening, so when a hand touched his shoulder he reacted on pure instinct pivoting on one foot and lashing out with one wrapped fist.
Shay didn't think as Clint's fist came swinging toward her, she simply reacted, bringing one hand up and out to curl around his wrist as she stepped into his body using the momentum of his punch as she leant forward to flip him onto his back on the mat.
Before he could move Shay dropped to straddle his chest, pinning his arms to his sides with her legs, as she sat back against his abs she arched one brow quizzically as she quipped "Pretty sure I'm not the one who royally pissed you off, so it'd be appreciated if you didn't try to take my head off."
Clint blinked dazedly up at Shay as she leant back to brace her hands on his thighs.
"Where the hell did you learn to do that?"
She froze for a moment before breaking out in a wry smile. "Let's just say I ran with a rough crowd for a little while after running away from home."
He eyed her thoughtfully. And then he planted his feet hard on the floor and jack-knifed upwards, arms swinging up as he freed himself, fully intending to put her on her back on the mat with him on top this time.
She writhed away like a slippery eel, caught a heel behind his ankle, grabbed onto his left wrist with both hands and twisted again. If it hadn't been a classic SHIELD manoeuvre, she'd have flipped him like a ragdoll for a second time, but he was half-expecting it and countered.
Shay was absolutely shocked to find herself on her back. She wasn't even quite sure how it had happened. That move always worked, even on classically trained martial artists.
"Tell me again, darlin'," Clint murmured in her ear, "who exactly taught you that?"
"I fell in love with a slightly older bad boy when I was sixteen, well boy probably isn't the best descriptor given that he was in his mid twenties. I thought he was in the military, he'd be gone more than he was around, but when he was around he taught me what he knew."
Shifting slightly beneath Clint, Shay was assessing how he had his weight distributed looking for any advantage as her mind clicked trying to figure out how to regain the upper hand.
"That's still not giving me a name darlin'," Clint murmured against her ear as his grip tightened slightly on her wrists "only tells me your taste was terrible."
"Brock Rumlow," Shay finally muttered as she dropped her head back onto the mat in defeat.
His eyes widened with shock before he spat out; "Well that's just fucking marvellous." Clint pushed himself up off Shay and regained his feet, running one hand through his hair in frustration as he began to pace the gym. "The biggest pain in my fucking ass from my academy days and I just find out that at the same time he was making my life a fucking misery, he was also spending time with my girl!"
Planting her hands to the mat above her head Shay flipped herself to her feet, the frustration she could see in Clint's motions combined with the tone his voice had held made her flinch, Brock had been her darkest secret and biggest mistake and it appeared as though he was going to once again utterly ruin her life.
Closing the distance between them Shay reached out to curl her hand around his bicep and pulled Clint to a stop her free hand coming up to cup his cheek while murmuring "Clint, I was young, scared and stupid. He was the biggest mistake of my life and I wish to god I'd met you first."
When her only response was silence Shay dropped both her hands from where they'd rested on Clint, curling both arms around her stomach she let her head drop as she turned and made her way towards the bench where his shed clothing sat.
"Why?" She hadn't heard Clint move so when his voice rumbled by her ear it had startled her, causing her to jump slightly before his hands firmly grasped her upper arms as he growled "Why do you wish you'd met me first?"
It was probably a stupid question on his part but he needed to know, as much as he didn't want to hear what had occurred between the two of them, he needed to hear it. Needed her to explain why she considered Rumlow a mistake.