Rollins Demons chapter 4

When Rollins came round there were a swirl of faces in front of her, and someone's jacket under her head. She groaned as she tried to stand up and the room spun causing her to stumble.

She felt a hand under her arm steadying her and instantly pulled away.

"God Rollins," came her sergeant's voice, "I didn't realise you were this bad, thought you had just over done it last night, now I feel like a pig for forcing you to come in".

"Its ok", she reassured him, "I think I got some sort of bug".

"Yeah you do look pale" her long-time friend Viv replied "Maybe you should let someone drive you home".

"Ok Viv, drive her home and keep me updated said her Sergeant, gonna miss the Chief's visit to our department later but I will explain."

At the mention of his name Rollins felt the room spin once more before Viv put her arm around her shoulder and walked her out to where she had parked the car.

The drive back to Rollins apartment was made in silence with the odd look of concerning from Viv. Once inside Viv asked "you want me to call a doctor, you went down with quite a bump, frightened the life out of me." She shook her head "no I will be fine after some rest, thanks Viv but you can go now I will be fine."

"You're not fine I can tell" Viv replied, "look at you you're a dribbling mess, what's going on Amanda you know you can tell me anything."

Rollins bit her lip and contemplated relaying what had taken place in this very apartment and then thought better of it, even though she had known her best friend for over 10 years she couldn't bring herself to utter the words 'I was raped'.

"Nothing, I just feel like shit" she said instead, "a good night's rest is all I need."

Viv didn't look like she believed her but she let the matter drop. "You know Jimmy from narcotics told me there is an opening in SVU in New York and was thinking of going for it, I never thought he would leave he loves his job."

Rollins was pleased that Viv had changed the subject and tried to make her voice sound brighter "Jimmy won't go nowhere, he's married to narcotics" she smiled.

Viv gave her friend a kiss on the cheek, "if you feel worse or you wanna talk about anything you know where I am." Rollins nodded her head as she see Viv to the door.

Rollins stood under the shower letting the water splash against her face, trying to wash away the memories of what had happened the night before. 'Do you have the Devil himself is chasing you' she heard his voice say. It was the Devil himself she thought as she dried herself off and she was in hell.

She paced the small living area for hours before she was finally exhausted enough to sleep, she had put fresh sheets on the bed and thrown the other ones out she didn't want any reminders of what had happened she had plenty of them on her silly painful body. I can't go back there she thought to herself as she drifted into a fitful slumber.

You Bitch, you filthy rotten slag, she heard his zip and felt the pressure of him on top of her, she felt suffocated and punched and struggled as he finally violated her NO NOOOOOOOOOOO she screamed. Sitting bolt upright in bed she tried to calm her erratic heart beat the nightmare had caused. Her pyjamas were stuck to her body as her hair was to her face and she threw the quilt back as she got up and made her way unsteadily to the kitchen.

Sitting at the kitchen counter in the dark she knew that she couldn't go back no more, could face him every day and act as if nothing had happened. He had already let her know that her career was over anyway if she so much as hinted that something had happened. All she had wanted since she was little was to be a cop and he had not just taken her most vulnerable self but her dreams as well.

Sipping at her water she recalled what Viv had said, a position at SVU had become available and a new life started taking shape in her head.