"Ugh…" Victoria groaned, trying to wipe the sleep out of her eyes. Why do I feel like I've been hit over the head? she thought. It was a few minutes before she remembered how much she had to drink the night before. To be honest, she was lucky she remembered anything; though, the memories of Cullen were clear in her mind. His embarrassment when she laughed at Sera's comment, the feel of his hand in hers, and the answer to her question: he found no one of interest in Kirkwall. That part stuck out clearly in her mind. Searching for its meaning would take time, however-time Victoria did not have at the moment.
She needed to make herself presentable. The Herald of Andraste stumbling around Haven in her clothing from the previous evening with unwashed hair could not be beneficial for the Inquisition's image. She bathed and dressed in her armor, allowing her curls to flow unchecked, forgoing her usual forced straight hair. When she decided that she looked dignified enough, she headed to the war room; it was time to confront Magister Alexius.
Cullen was in the war room early, hoping to catch up on some strategy. He should have been working, but spending time with Victoria was very distracting. He was pondering all the events of the night-his embarrassment, her surprisingly small hand in his, his final boldness of the evening-when the door to the war room opened and closed abruptly, scaring him out of his thoughts. He instinctively reached for the sword at his side, until he recognized the figure standing before him. Trevelyan's head was pressed up against the door, which muffled what he thought was a groan escaping from her lips. Her hair fell in front of her face, more free than usual; it was beautiful enough to stop his lips from forming words at her presence.
"H-hi," he finally stuttered, causing her to turn around abruptly with a hand on her blade. Birds of a feather, he thought, having to stifle a laugh and their similar reactions to unexpected company.
"Oh," she whispered, "It's just you. Thank the Maker." she tried, and failed, to adjust her posture. She slugged to the war table, head pointed down. "Maker, it's so bright in here."
That was when Cullen bursted out laughing. "Trevelyan, there's very few windows in here. Are you hungover?"
"Unfortunately," she mumbled, "I've been trying not to alert all of Haven; I thought I was alone in here and could have a few minutes to collect myself. Why are you here? Not that I mind your presence."
"I was out with a rather drunk young lady last night," Cullen smirked, "so I'm catching up on troop movements. Did you even remember that I was with you last night?"
She looked up at him then, mustering the smallest of smiles, "Of course," she retorted, confidence evidently flowing back into her at his question. "In fact," she continued, "I recall that I was escorted back to my room and left slightly flustered and sadly alone."
It took all of Cullen's strength to stifle the blush that was quick to respond. Sadly alone, he repeated to himself. If he had known she was seeking his company he would have obliged in a heartbeat. The two of them were in the middle of a staring contest when Josephine, Leliana and Cassandra entered. Trevelyan smiled, and then broke eye contact, greeting the others as enthusiastically as she could without worsening her headache. Cullen almost blushed again when he realized that he was the only one that Victoria let see her vulnerable side.
Trevelyan placed a delicate hand over Redcliffe Castle, indicating that this was their next move. Cullen disliked the idea, immediately arguing, "We don't have the manpower to take the castle! Either we find another way in, or give up this nonsense and go get the templars." Victoria would be putting herself in too much danger. If Cullen could stop her, he would.
"Redcliffe is in the hands of a magister," Cassandra countered, "This cannot be allowed to stand." He respected Cassandra, but sometimes he really hated her.
"The letter from Alexius asked for the Herald of Andraste by name. It's an obvious trap." Thank you, Josephine, he thought.
Victoria scoffed, causing all of the advisors to stare. "Isn't that kind of him," she chuckled, "What does Alexius say about me?"
"He's so complimentary that we are certain he wants to kill you," Leliana retorted. He was unsure of whether she was amused or annoyed by the Herald's jest.
"Not this again," Josephine sighed.
"Redcliffe Castle is one of the most defensible fortresses in Ferelden. It has repelled thousands of assaults," he interjected. Looking at Victoria, probably more tenderly than he should have in front of everyone else, he continued, "If you go in there, you'll die. And we'll lose the only means we have of closing these rifts. I won't allow it."
"And if we don't even try to meet Alexius, we lose the mages and leave a hostile foreign power at our doorstep!" Ugh, Leliana was annoying him now too.
"Even if we could assault the keep, it would be for naught. An 'Orlesian' Inquisition's army marching into Ferelden would provoke a war. Our hands are tied." Josephine was quickly becoming his favorite.
"The magister-"
"Has outplayed us," Cullen interrupted Cassandra before she could continue.
"We can't just give up," Trevelyan said solemnly. "There has to be something we can do." She looked at Cullen, trying to reassure him with her eyes. It wouldn't work.
"We cannot accept defeat now," Cassandra agreed. "There must be a solution."
"Where is the Arl of Redcliffe? I'm sure he'd help us get his castle back." Trevelyan was relentless.
"After he was displaced, Arl Teagan rode straight to Denerim to petition the Crown for help. I doubt he'll want our assistance once the Fereldan army lays siege to his castle."
"Wait…" Leliana paused, clearly remembering something important. "There is a secret passage into the castle, an escape route for the family. It's too narrow for our troops, but we could send agents through."
"Too risky. Those agents will be discovered well before they reach the magister," Cullen argued.
"That's why we need a distraction," Leliana explained. "Perhaps the envoy Alexius wants so badly?"
He looked to Victoria, who nodded for him to concede. "Focus their attention on Trevelyan while we take out the Tevinters. It's risky, but it could work."
"Fortunately, you'll have help," an unknown voice interjected. A man entered the war room, and Cullen looked at him skeptically. Mostly his eyes were on the man's mustache, but he quickly adjusted to concentrate on the man's words.
"This man says he has information about the magister and his methods, Commander," one of their scouts explained.
Trevelyan and the man smirked at each other, causing Cullen to relax a bit. If Trevelyan trusted him, Cullen would have to.
"Your spies will never get past Alexius's magic without my help. So, if you're going after him, I'm coming along."
"The plan puts you in the most danger," Cullen said, facing Victoria. "We can't, in good conscience, order you to do this. We can still go after the templars if you'd rather not play the bait. It's up to you."
"We're doing it," Trevelyan said without a moment's thought. "We'll need a few hours to get ready and then we'll set out for Redcliffe Castle. You're all dismissed."
As Cullen was walking out, fear apparent in his stomach, Victoria's hand grabbed his arm. She closed the door behind everyone else and looked him straight in the eyes. "Cullen…" she started.
"You could die, Victoria," Cullen began before he could stop himself. "You're so much more valuable than simply being the Herald of Andraste. You're-"
Victoria rushed toward him now, placing her hand behind his neck and drawing his forehead to hers. "Listen to me," she said calmly, "Nothing is going to happen to me. The magister has played all his cards. We're a step ahead. I will make it out alive and when I do, you and I are going to sit together all night and talk like we did the other day, do you understand me? The only thing that's going to change is that there will be one less dangerous magister to deal with."
He sighed, looking her in the eyes. She seemed as though she believed it. Either that, or she was quite the actress. Regardless, hearing the words come out of her mouth made him relax. "Alright," he sighed, putting both his hands through her hair. This thing, them touching their foreheads, had become so comfortable. When they really needed each other, this is how they showed one another that they were really there. It was their own moment, a time that belonged to them and no one else. "I'm holding you to this, Trevelyan. I'll never forgive you if you die."
"I won't," she whispered, kissing him on the cheek before walking out of the war room.
It had been far too long since Cullen had heard anything from the Inquisition's agents. They had absolutely no news for him, which was possibly worse than having bad news. Not knowing Victoria's fate was killing him, so much that training the recruits was actually painful.
Just as he was about to give up, he saw people walking towards Haven. It was the magister in shackles. He searched the crowd when finally he saw her. Covered in dirt and dried blood, Trevelyan was sauntering back to the stronghold, appearing more confident than ever. He could have kissed her right then and there if it wasn't for the crowd now surrounding her.
He stood there in shock, and eventually the crowd dispersed. Trevelyan looked at him only very briefly and whispered, "I don't feel like eating with everyone else tonight. Can you meet me in my quarters with food?"
"Absolutely," he smiled, and she sauntered off to her quarters.
Victoria closed the doors to her quarters and collapsed. She was so tired. She was barely able to remove her clothing to bathe. Sitting in the water, she pondered what happened. The destruction, chaos-all because one magister had removed her from time. There was so much relying on her...it was too much.
She heard the door to her quarters open and knew it was Cullen. She wanted to keep up this proud facade even for him. "I'll be there in a minute" she lilted, stepping out of the bath and into only a long sweater and knee high socks. Planning to put on her show once more, she turned the corner into where her bed was, her eyes meeting those of the dashing Commander. She wanted to play her part, but when she looked into his honest eyes, her walls fell.
"I...Cullen, I…" she started, not knowing what to do. She felt herself spiraling out of control, and grasped at her own hair, hoping to find some of her strength resting there. Her eyes darted to him, and it was obvious that he sensed her panic. "Cullen, I can't…" tears were streaming out down her face now, completely out of her control. Her vision was clouded but she felt Cullen's familiar body rush to hers and she completely collapsed into him.
"I don't want to be the Herald," she sobbed. "There's so much pressure and Cullen, I can't…"
"It's okay," Cullen whispered, stroking her hair. When she calmed down slightly, he continued, "You say you can't, Victoria, but you have so far. No one could have been as strong as you; no one here is as strong as you even now. You can do this. We can take things a minute at a time if we have to, okay?"
Victoria did not look up at him, but he felt her breathing slow, which he would have to take as reassurance enough for now. "Okay," she whispered, wrapping her arms around his neck. He took her then, picking her up and bringing her to her bed. He went under the covers with her and let her rest her head on his chest. He grabbed the food he placed on her end table. It was pasta-he learned it was her favorite.
"Trevelyan, I know you're tired, but can you just try to eat a little for me? You're probably undernourished."
She looked back up at him again for the first time since he entered and nodded, taking the bowl from him. She took a bite and closed her eyes, "I needed this. Thank you," she explained. "Cullen, I'm not okay. But I will be. This was all just a lot to handle."
"Of course," he said, stroking her hair while she ate. "And I'll be here."
"Good," she said, and he saw her smile genuinely for the first time since she returned to Haven.